Cleopatra

by H. Rider Haggard

  CHAPTER II

  OF THE LAST MISERY OF HARMACHIS; OF THE CALLING DOWN OF THE HOLY ISIS BYTHE WORD OF FEAR; OF THE PROMISE OF ISIS; OF THE COMING OF ATOUA, AND OFTHE WORDS OF ATOUA

  I crouched upon the floor gazing at the dead body of my father, who hadlived to curse me, the utterly accursed, while the darkness crept andgathered round us, till at length the dead and I were alone in the blacksilence. Oh, how tell the misery of that hour! Imagination cannot dreamit, nor words paint it forth. Once more in my wretchedness I bethoughtme of death. A knife was at my girdle, with which I might cut the threadof sorrow and set my spirit free. Free? ay, free to fly and face thelast vengeance of the Holy Gods! Alas! and alas! I did not dare to die.Better the earth with all its woes than the quick approach of thoseunimagined terrors that, hovering in dim Amenti, wait the advent of thefallen.

  I grovelled on the ground and wept tears of agony for the lostunchanging past--wept till I could weep no more; but no answer came fromthe silence--no answer but the echoes of my grief. Not a ray of hope! Mysoul wandered in a darkness more utter than that which was about me--Iwas forsaken of the Gods and cast out of men. Terror took hold upon mecrouching in that lonely place hard by the majesty of the awful Dead. Irose to fly. How could I fly in this gloom?--And where should I fly whohad no place of refuge? Once more I crouched down, and the great feargrew on me till the cold sweat ran from my brow and my soul was faintwithin me. Then, in my last despair, I prayed aloud to Isis, to whom Ihad not dared to pray for many days.

  "O Isis! Holy Mother!" I cried; "put away Thy wrath, and of Thineinfinite pity, O Thou all-pitiful, hearken to the voice of the anguishof him who was Thy son and servant, but who by sin hath fallen from thevision of Thy love. O throned Glory, who, being in all things, hast ofall things understanding and of all griefs knowledge, cast the weightof Thy mercy against the scale of my evil-doing, and make the balanceequal. Look down upon my woe, and measure it; count up the sum of myrepentance and take Thou note of the flood of sorrow that sweeps my soulaway. O Thou Holy, whom it was given to me to look upon face to face,by that dread hour of commune I summon Thee; I summon Thee by the mysticword. Come, then, in mercy, to save me; or, in anger, to make an end ofthat which can no more be borne."

  And, rising from my knees, I stretched out my arms and dared to cryaloud the Word of Fear, to use which unworthily is death.

  Swiftly the answer came. For in the silence I heard the sound of theshaken sistra heralding the coming of the Glory. Then, at the far end ofthe chamber, grew the semblance of the horned moon, gleaming faintly inthe darkness, and betwixt the golden horns rested a small dark cloud, inand out of which the fiery serpent climbed.

  My knees waxed loose in the presence of the Glory, and I sank downbefore it.

  Then spake the small, sweet Voice within the cloud:

  "Harmachis, who wast my servant and my son, I have heard thy prayer, andthe summons that thou hast dared to utter, which on the lips of one withwhom I have communed, hath power to draw Me from the Uttermost. No more,Harmachis, may we be one in the bond of Love Divine, for thou hast putMe away of thine own act. Therefore, after this long silence I come,Harmachis, clothed in terrors, and, perchance, ready for vengeance, fornot lightly can Isis be drawn from the halls of Her Divinity."

  "Smite, Goddess!" I answered. "Smite, and give me over to those whowreak Thy vengeance; for I can no longer bear the burden of my woe!"

  "And if thou canst not bear thy burden here, upon this upper earth,"came the soft reply, "how then shalt thou bear the greater burden thatshall be laid upon thee there, coming defiled and yet unpurified into mydim realm of Death, that is Life and Change unending? Nay, Harmachis, Ismite thee not, for not all am I wroth that thou hast dared to utterthe awful Word which calls Me down to thee. Hearken, Harmachis; I praisenot, and I reproach not, for I am the Minister of Reward and Punishmentand the Executrix of Decrees; and if I give, I give in silence; and if Ismite, in silence do I smite. Therefore, I will add naught to thy burdenby the weight of heavy words, though through thee it has come to passthat soon shall Isis, the Mother-Mystery, be but a memory in Egypt. Thouhast sinned, and heavy shall be thy punishment, as I did warn thee, bothin the flesh and in my kingdom of Amenti. But I told thee that there isa road of repentance, and surely thy feet are set thereon, and thereinmust thou walk with a humble heart, eating of the bread of bitterness,till such time as thy doom be measured."

  "Have I, then, no hope, O holy?"

  "That which is done, Harmachis, is done, nor can its issues be altered.Khem shall no more be free till all its temples are as the desert dust;strange Peoples shall, from age to age, hold her hostage and in bonds;new Religions shall arise and wither within the shadow of her pyramids,for to every World, Race, and Age the countenances of the Gods arechanged. This is the tree that shall spring from thy seed of sin,Harmachis, and from the sin of those who tempted thee!"

  "Alas! I am undone!" I cried.

  "Yea, thou art undone; and yet shall this be given to thee: thyDestroyer thou shalt destroy--for so, in the purpose of my justice, itis ordained. When the sign comes to thee, arise, go to Cleopatra, andin such manner as I shall put into thy heart do Heaven's vengeanceupon her! And now for thyself one word, for thou hast put Me from thee,Harmachis, and no more shall I come face to face with thee till, cycleshence, the last fruit of thy sin hath ceased to be upon this earth! Yet,through the vastness of the unnumbered years, remember thou this: theLove Divine is Love Eternal, which cannot be extinguished, though it beeverlastingly estranged. Repent, my son; repent and do well whilethere is yet time, that at the dim end of ages thou mayest once morebe gathered unto Me. Still, Harmachis, though thou seest Me not; still,when the very name by which thou knowest Me has become a meaninglessmystery to those who shall be after thee; still I, whose hours areeternal--I, who have watched Universes wither, wane, and, beneath thebreath of Time, melt into nothingness; again to gather, and, re-born,thread the maze of space--still, I say, I shall companion thee. Whereverthou goest, in whatever form of life thou livest, there I shall be! Artthou wafted to the farthest star, art thou buried in Amenti's lowestdeep--in lives, in deaths, in sleeps, in wakings, in remembrances, inoblivions, in all the fevers of the outer Life, in all the changes ofthe Spirit--still, if thou wilt but atone and forget Me no more, I shallbe with thee, waiting thine hour of redemption. For this is the natureof Love Divine, wherewith it loves that which partakes of its divinityand by the holy tie hath once been bound to it. Judge then, Harmachis:was it well to put this from thee to win the dust of earthly woman? And,now, dare not again to utter the Word of Power till these things aredone! Harmachis, for this season, fare thee well!"