by Cathy Glass
It seemed harsh but I knew that Michael, like Jill, was a highly experienced social worker whose advice I should follow.
‘And if Jade does answer her phone I’ll tell her to come home straightaway?’ I confirmed.
‘Yes, but put a time limit on it. Teenagers work on a different time scale to adults. Tell her she has to be back in half an hour or else you will have no alternative but to call the police and start a missing person.’
‘Thanks for your help, Michael,’ I said. ‘I’m sorry to have troubled you.’
‘No worries. That’s what we’re here for. Give me a ring back either way.’
Having ended the call to Homefinders I keyed in the number to Jade’s mobile, but as before the call went straight through to her voicemail. I left the message Michael had suggested and then replaced the receiver, hoping that contacting the police wouldn’t be necessary. I had just enough time to go through to the kitchen and check if Adrian needed any help with his homework when the phone rang. I returned to the sitting room, picked up the phone, and was relieved to hear Jade’s voice.
‘Hi, got your message,’ she said casually. ‘I’ll be back soon.’
‘Jade, I’ve been really worried about you,’ I said. ‘I phoned three times. Why didn’t you return my calls?’
‘I had me phone off. I’ve only just checked it.’ Which may have been true, although it was a bit of a coincidence that she’d thought to check her phone a minute after I’d left my last message. But I gave her the benefit of the doubt.
‘OK. Where are you, love?’ I asked. ‘It’s dark now and getting late.’
I heard her sigh. ‘I’m at Ty’s,’ she said, irritated by being questioned.
‘How are you getting home?’
‘Bus. Same as always.’
I didn’t like the idea of a young girl riding a bus alone in the dark, but there wasn’t much I could do – I couldn’t collect her in the car, as Paula was asleep – and from what Jade had said she was used to using the buses alone at night. However, following Michael’s advice, I said: ‘Jade, I want you here in half an hour, love. No later. Do you understand? Otherwise I’ll have no choice but to start a missing person.’
‘Fine!’ she snapped. And cut the call.
I replaced the receiver and sat for a moment, feeling a little hurt, but aware I was going to have to become ‘thick-skinned’ and be firm with Jade. Her mother had made the mistake of being a chum to her rather than a parent and I thought Jade now resented me stepping into the role of parent and telling her what to do, even if it was for her own good and ultimately for the good of her baby too.
Forty minutes later, as I sat in the sitting room with the television on low and when Adrian was in bed, I heard the key go in the front door. Relieved, I went into the hall as Jade let herself in and closed the door behind her.
‘I’m pleased you’re back, love,’ I said. ‘Isn’t it cold out?’
Jade shrugged and was about to go straight up to her room. ‘Jade, before you go to bed can we have a little chat, please?’
‘Can’t it wait?’ she sighed, irritated. ‘I’m tired.’
‘It will only take five minutes. Have you eaten?’
‘Yeah.’
‘Let’s go and sit down and have a chat,’ I said, and I went down the hall.
With another sigh Jade reluctantly followed me into the sitting room and then sat in the chair furthest away from me. I knew I must make sure my approach was not threatening or accusatory. I smiled and in a calm even voice I explained that I’d been worried about her, not knowing where she was, as I would any young person I was looking after. I said that in future, for her own safety, I needed to know where she was going, how she was getting home and what time she would be back, which seemed reasonable to me.
‘I’m not a kid,’ Jade said huffily.
‘I know you’re not, love, but at seventeen you’re still a minor and while you’re with me I’m responsible for you. Apart from which I need to know you’re safe or I’ll worry about you. It’s what parents and carers do.’
‘Mum didn’t worry,’ she said moodily.
‘I’m sure she did,’ I said. ‘In her own way.’ Although of course boundaries are a sign of caring and Jackie had admitted she hadn’t put in place enough boundaries with Jade.
I looked at Jade, perched on the edge of the chair and eager to be away. I wasn’t convinced she was receptive to what I was saying, so I upped it a little. ‘Jade, when you didn’t come home or return my calls I phoned my fostering agency for some advice. The social worker there said that soon the social services will be starting an assessment of you, to see if you are responsible enough to keep your baby. You need to make sure you behave responsibly or it won’t look good.’
‘Are you threatening me?’ she said, her eyes blazing. ‘I told you me phone was off.’
‘I understand that and no, I’m not threatening you. I’m just trying to help you.’
‘Well, don’t,’ she snapped. ‘I don’t need your help.’ And hauling herself off the chair she stomped upstairs and to her bedroom.
Well done, Cathy, I thought, that was a successful chat, although in truth I wasn’t sure how else I could have handled it. Jade clearly resented being asked to conform to boundaries and perhaps she resented me.
I gave her time to cool off and fifteen minutes later I went up to her room and knocked lightly on her bedroom door. There was no reply, so I knocked again and then slowly opened the door and went in.
She was changed and in bed, on her side and apparently fast asleep.
‘Jade?’ I whispered. But there was no reply, so I came out, and hoped that in the morning we could start afresh.
Before going to bed I remembered to phone Michael at Homefinders to tell him Jade had returned. He was pleased Jade had made the right decision and said she was just testing the boundaries. I told him I didn’t think I’d handled the situation or our chat well and he said that I shouldn’t worry, as he was sure it would all be forgotten in the morning.
I didn’t sleep well; I tormented myself with what I should have said to Jade and what I could have said differently. I was realizing that dealing with teenagers is like walking on eggshells; I hoped I would do better and our relationship would improve.
The following day Jade stayed in bed, apparently asleep, until lunchtime. I checked on her a couple of times and then eventually I heard her get up and go straight to the bathroom, where she ran a bath. I was in the front room on the computer. Once she was washed and dressed, she came downstairs and on her way to the kitchen called a cheerful ‘Hi, Cathy,’ the previous evening apparently forgiven or forgotten. I heard her start cooking a fry-up, so I went in and checked she had everything she needed, and then I left her to it. She made me a cup of tea as she had the day before and we sat either side of the table and chatted amicably. She even washed up her breakfast things, so I didn’t really mind clearing up the bathroom after her.
However, that afternoon while I was collecting Paula from school, without saying anything to me in advance, Jade went out. I returned home to find a hastily scribbled note: Out with Ty. Back about 10 Jade. While I was pleased Jade had taken notice of some of what I’d said the evening before and had acted responsibly by leaving the note, I was concerned that I didn’t know where she was or how she would be getting home. Ten o’clock seemed far too late for her to be out alone, especially in her condition. It crossed my mind to phone her but I thought that might antagonize her, so I decided I’d talk to her face to face when she returned.
But when Jade arrived home, not at ten o’clock but at 10.45 and drunk, I was horrified. I knew I had to say something and I knew there would be a scene.
Chapter Eight
Silly, Silly Girl
‘Jade, have you been drinking?’ I asked, closing the front door behind her.
‘Yeah, why not?’ she said confrontationally. ‘It was me friend’s birthday.’
‘What friend? I thought you were at Ty
ler’s.’
‘Na. I was at me friend’s birthday party,’ Jade said, clearly having forgotten what she’d written on her note.
I looked at Jade, flushed from alcohol, with a stupid grin on her face and struggling to get out of her coat. Normally I would have asked a young person returning from a party if they’d had a nice time, but that wasn’t appropriate here. Jade was pregnant and had clearly had a lot to drink; she smelt strongly of alcohol and was unsteady on her feet.
‘Jade, don’t you know the harm alcohol can do to an unborn baby?’ I asked, deeply concerned. ‘Do you know the damage it can cause?’
‘Don’t start!’ Jade snapped, finally releasing one arm from her coat and swaying slightly. ‘You sound like my mum!’
‘But think about your baby,’ I said. ‘Alcohol can do permanent damage to an unborn baby, both physically and mentally. Surely you’ve seen all the warnings on television and in magazines about drinking while pregnant?’ Jade shrugged as though she didn’t care, but it was my duty to make her care and understand the harm she was doing. ‘Meryl stopped by again this evening,’ I said, hoping to shame her. ‘I dread to think what she would say if she knew you’d been drinking, after all she’s done to help you.’ But of course you can’t rationalize with someone who is under the influence of alcohol, especially a teenager who thinks she knows best.
‘Don’t know and don’t care,’ Jade said, finally getting out of her coat and throwing it on the hall stand. ‘I’m going to bed.’
She went to the foot of the stairs and, grabbing the handrail with both hands, hauled herself on to the first step and then began unsteadily up the stairs. I followed just behind her to make sure she didn’t fall. She was very unsteady, so I guessed she’d had a lot to drink, not ‘a’ drink as she’d claimed.
At the top of the stairs she hesitated, as though she’d forgotten where she was going, and then turned right and, trailing her hand along the wall to steady herself, arrived outside her bedroom door. She pushed it open, went in, and then shut the door in my face. My first reaction was to go in after her and tell her not to be so rude, but I knew that wouldn’t be the best course of action in her present state and would very likely lead to an argument. Sad and very worried, I walked away and checked on Adrian and Paula, who were both still asleep; then I returned to wait on the landing outside Jade’s room. I could hear her clumsy movements as she staggered around her bedroom, presumably trying to get changed and ready for bed. Then it went quiet and I waited some more, half expecting her to come out to use the bathroom. When she didn’t appear I knocked gently on the door. There was no reply, so I knocked again and went in.
Jade was on her side on the bed, fully clothed and fast asleep. The half-unpacked suitcases were open on the floor; also on the floor were a heap of clothes, her nightwear and the duvet. It was a real mess but that was the least of my concerns. I went to the bed, where I carefully eased off Jade’s shoes so that she would be more comfortable; she didn’t stir. Then I picked up the duvet and put it over her. She hadn’t washed or cleaned her teeth but she was in no state to do that now; so she’d have to do it in the morning. I fetched a bucket from downstairs and, returning, placed it beside her bed; then I came out, leaving the door open so that I could hear her if she woke in the night or was sick.
For the second night in a row I didn’t sleep well, as I was listening out for Jade and I was also very worried about her behaviour. Jade didn’t wake in the night and the following morning as soon as I got up I checked on her. She was still asleep. I closed her bedroom door so that Adrian, Paula and I wouldn’t disturb her, and we got ready and left for school.
When I returned shortly after 9.00 a.m. Jade was still asleep, so again I left her – to sleep off the drink from the night before. Rachel phoned fifteen minutes later, expecting to speak to Jade. I explained what had happened and finished by telling her that Jade was sleeping off the effects of her friend’s birthday party.
‘It was no one’s birthday,’ Rachel said bluntly. ‘There’s a group of them who drink together regularly. They’ve been friends since infant school and they all live close to each other on the same estate. It’s a cheap evening: they put in a couple of pounds each and that buys them plenty of alcohol from the supermarket. It’s a regular thing.’
‘But Jade’s pregnant,’ I said, horrified. ‘What about foetal alcohol syndrome? Aren’t you worried that Jade’s drinking could damage her baby?’
‘Oh yes, I’m worried all right,’ Rachel said. ‘I’ve talked to Jade about the harmful effects of heavy drinking on an unborn baby. I’ve even given her leaflets on foetal alcohol syndrome, with gruesome pictures of damaged babies, but clearly she hasn’t taken it on board. I hoped her pattern of behaviour would change once she was with you, but that doesn’t seem to be happening.’
I now felt as though it was my fault Jade had been out drinking the night before and I was to blame. ‘It’s difficult,’ I said lamely. ‘I’m trying to put in place firmer boundaries but Jade likes to go out.’
‘I know. And we’ve got the weekend coming up. Friday and Saturday nights are always worse. The kids’ parents are often out, so there are plenty of empty homes to go to with supermarket booze. In summer they go to the park with their bottles and meet up with other under-age drinkers. Perhaps you could organize a family activity, maybe an outing, to keep her away from her drinking friends? There weren’t many family outings at Jade’s house; Jackie couldn’t afford it. Jade might see it as fun.’
‘Yes, I’ll do that,’ I said. ‘We usually go out at the weekend. I’ll think of somewhere to go that will appeal to Jade as well as Adrian and Paula. Pity it’s not the summer – we could go to the coast for the day.’
‘Oh yes, and while I think of it,’ Rachel said, changing the subject, ‘don’t give Jade her pocket money all in one lot. It’ll all go on booze. She’ll want some for the weekend, so I suggest half on Saturday and the rest mid-week – on Wednesday.’
‘Yes, all right,’ I said, horrified that this precaution was necessary. At Jade’s age she was entitled to £10 a week pocket money, which could buy three bottles of cheap wine or a bottle of spirits from a supermarket. I knew from my reading and the news on television that teenage binge drinking was a real problem, but I’d no idea it was so widespread. From the way Rachel was talking it seemed it was an issue she had to deal with on a regular basis.
‘I’ll talk to Jade again about her drinking when I see her,’ Rachel said. ‘I take it she’s in no fit state at present?’
‘No, she’s still asleep,’ I confirmed.
‘All right, leave her to sleep it off. I’m due to visit you. Could I come on Monday at eleven o’clock?’
‘Yes. That’s fine with me. I’ll make sure she’s up.’
Rachel gave a small laugh. ‘Well, at least you know where she is when she’s in bed.’
‘Yes,’ I said, unable to raise a smile. ‘See you on Monday, then. Have a good weekend.’
‘And you.’
I put the phone down and sat, glum and deep in thought, for some moments. I was very worried. Apart from the damage Jade was doing to herself and her unborn baby by drinking alcohol, I knew her behaviour was stacking up against her and wouldn’t look good when a parenting assessment was made. Although there were still some weeks to go before Jade had her baby, her behaviour would have to alter drastically if she stood any chance of being allowed to keep it. You can’t be out drinking and looking after a baby, and not for the first time I wondered if Jade had a realistic idea of what parenting a baby truly involved.
When Jade finally woke – just before lunchtime – she came straight downstairs and into the kitchen for a glass of cold water. I was unpacking the dishwasher and looked up as she entered.
‘Hello,’ I said.
Jade nodded and concentrated on filling the glass. She looked dreadful: hung over, unwashed, with tangled hair and still in the clothes she’d slept in. Cleary dehydrated from the alcohol, she drank one
glass of water, refilled the glass and drank another, before she said a quiet ‘Hello, Cathy.’ I knew this wasn’t the time to give her a lecture, so for now I said simply that Rachel had phoned and she was coming to see us on Monday.
‘I don’t want breakfast yet,’ Jade said quietly, and disappeared back upstairs.
Later, after Jade had had a bath and was dressed in clean clothes, she came down with the laundry bag stuffed full of her washing and I set the washing machine going for the second time that morning. Although she was looking brighter, she said she didn’t want a fried breakfast and instead made herself a piece of toast.
Before she had a chance to disappear back up to her room I said, ‘Jade, bring your toast and tea into the sitting room, please. I want to talk to you.’
‘Do I have to?’ she whined, as a small child would.
‘Yes please. It’s important.’
Jade gave a small sigh and then followed me out of the kitchen and into the sitting room, where she sat in the chair furthest away from me. While she nibbled her toast and sipped her tea, in a non-confrontational manner I explained how worried I was for her health and safety and that of her unborn baby. I explained how binge drinking was bad for her body and the damage it was doing to her liver. ‘Last night was not a “one off”,’ I said. ‘Rachel told me you drink regularly with your friends and have been doing for some time. Jade, there are young people in their mid-twenties in hospital now who will die without a liver transplant because of their binge drinking as teenagers. And apart from the damage you’re doing to your own body, you’re doing even greater damage to your baby. Everything you eat, drink or breathe in crosses the placenta and goes into your baby. That includes alcohol and cigarette smoke.’ For although Jade had told me she didn’t smoke I thought I’d smelt smoke on her the evening before. ‘Alcohol and smoking can badly damage your baby. You want a healthy baby, don’t you?’