by Cathy Glass
Jade gave a small nod. I thought she was a little more receptive to what I was saying now, although of course my warnings might all be forgotten once she left the house and met up with her friends. The more I managed to keep her at home with me, the safer she and her unborn baby would be. I continued talking to her by saying that Rachel was very concerned about her behaviour and that she needed to change it if she stood any chance of keeping her baby.
‘Why did you have to tell her I’d been drinking?’ Jade grumbled, as though I was responsible for Rachel’s warning.
‘Because as a foster carer I have a duty to keep your social worker informed,’ I said. ‘While you are in care she is legally responsible for you and I am responsible for your day-to-day care. Rachel phoned this morning while you were sleeping off the drink from last night. Of course I had to tell her – I had no choice – and she’s worried about you, just as I am.’
Jade didn’t answer, but at least she didn’t shrug off or reject what I’d said as she had done before.
‘Well, I’ve finished what I wanted to say, love,’ I said. ‘Please try and remember what I’ve told you, and make some changes to your lifestyle. You will be a mother soon and you want to give your baby the best start in life, don’t you?’
Jade nodded and ate the last of her toast.
‘Now,’ I said, smiling at her, ‘it’s Friday and the end of the week, so I was thinking we’d have a takeaway this evening. We sometimes do on a Friday as a treat. What do you fancy? Chinese, Indian, Thai, pizza?’
‘Chinese,’ she said. ‘Can Ty come?’
‘Yes,’ I said without hesitation. Anything to keep Jade happily at home with me. ‘And tomorrow, Saturday,’ I continued, ‘I was thinking we’d go out for the day. If the weather is good we could go to the castle. It’s got a new interactive section which is fun for all ages.’
‘Can Ty come?’ Jade asked again.
I hadn’t anticipated taking Tyler but there would be enough room in the car. ‘Yes, ask him if he’d like to join us.’
‘I’ll text him,’ she said, finally brightening up.
And later, just to make sure Jade didn’t disappear out that afternoon while I was collecting Paula from school, I told her I’d like her to come with me to collect Paula.
‘Oh, do I have to?’ she whined.
‘Yes please,’ I said firmly. ‘I’d like you to, and Paula will like it too.’ I had begun to realize that despite Jade’s age and the fact that she would soon be a mother she responded to the manner I would normally have used for a younger child, and I was gaining the confidence to do this.
Adrian and Paula were very excited when I told them we were having a takeaway that evening and then a day out on Saturday. Paula was pleased at the prospect of Jade coming with us on Saturday, and Adrian was pleased that Tyler would be joining us, so everyone was happy.
Tyler arrived that evening just before six o’clock and we ordered from the Chinese takeaway menu. While we were waiting for the food to be delivered we all played Sunken Treasure, and then after we’d eaten we played some other board games. It was a lovely family atmosphere and I liked the way Tyler responded to Adrian: he made time for him and treated him with respect, despite Adrian’s sometimes silly comments, which were typical of boys his age. Although Tyler was very young to be a father, I was forming the impression that he could be more responsible than Jade, so that I thought I might enlist his help in trying to alter Jade’s behaviour.
When Jade went up to the toilet and Adrian and Paula were in bed, I confided to Tyler that I was worried about Jade’s drinking and so too was her social worker.
‘Me too,’ he said. ‘But she won’t listen. I’ve told her lots of times she’s got to stop drinking. Me mum’s told her and so has Jackie. We’ve told her it’s bad for her and the baby. Jade promises not to drink, but when she gets with her mates she forgets. We’ve had big bust-ups over it. I hope she changes when the baby is born.’
‘So do I,’ I said. And I hoped it wouldn’t be too late and damage hadn’t already been done to the baby. ‘You’re doing your best,’ I said, for he looked very worried. ‘I’m going to try and keep Jade at home with me as much as possible so there’s less chance of her drinking with her mates.’
‘Thanks,’ Tyler said. ‘I’ll tell me mum. She’ll be pleased.’
When it was time for Tyler to leave, Jade asked if he could stay the night – to save him the trouble of going home and then coming back first thing in the morning, she said. I knew if I said yes once it would set a precedent and be more difficult to say no next time. So I made the excuse that the fostering regulations stated that I was only allowed to have one person sleeping in her bedroom and that if anyone stayed the night (even if they slept downstairs on the sofa) they had to be police checked. Jade pulled a face but Tyler accepted this and, thanking me for the takeaway, said goodnight and, ‘See you tomorrow.’ What I’d said was mostly true – the room was only for one person and if anyone stayed regularly in the house they had to be vetted. Jade could be very insistent and liked having her own way, so it was better to avoid situations that could give rise to confrontation.
Although the weather was cold on Saturday morning it was dry and bright, so our outing to the castle went ahead as planned. Tyler arrived as arranged at 9.30 and was really looking forward to going; in fact, he and Jade were like over-excited children about to embark on a school outing. Rachel had said that neither of them had had much experience of family outings, so I was pleased I could treat them. Neither of them had been to the castle, although it was a much-publicized local attraction only a forty-five-minute drive away. We bundled into the car – Tyler in the passenger seat and Jade, Adrian and Paula in the rear – and as I drove, the four of them chatted excitedly about what they were going to see at the castle, like one big happy family.
We had an excellent day out, exploring the castle and the ruins and imagining what life was like in medieval times, especially in the dark dungeon with its macabre history. We had lunch in the castle café and when we got home Jade asked if Tyler could stay for dinner, and I said yes. They were all pretty tired from the walking, especially Jade, who nodded off on the sofa while Tyler, Adrian and Paula watched television and I cooked dinner. After we’d eaten we all watched some television together and then Tyler stayed with Jade in the sitting room while I saw Paula and then Adrian up to bed. Tyler finally left just before ten o’clock and although this was a lot later than the departure time Jill had suggested, it was the weekend, and I felt that if Tyler staying longer meant Jade was happily at home it was preferable to her wanting to be out with her mates. I liked Tyler and while he was naïve and had a lot of living to do he clearly thought the world of Jade and from what I’d seen so far he was a good influence on her.
By Sunday morning I was feeling very positive. The weekend was going well and I felt my relationship with Jade had improved considerably. I was looking forward to spending a relaxing day at home with Jade, Adrian and Paula after our busy one the day before.
Jade got up earlier than usual and was washed, dressed and downstairs in the kitchen cooking a fry-up before I came down at nine o’clock, having had a lie-in.
‘I’m going out,’ she announced as soon as I went into the kitchen. ‘To see me mum.’
‘Oh, OK. Have a nice time,’ I said. ‘Are you coming back for dinner?’
‘Na. I’m staying all day.’
‘What time will you be back, then?’ I asked.
‘Nine o’clock.’
‘All right, but no later if you are using the bus. And please say hello to your mum from me and give her my best wishes.’
‘I will,’ Jade said.
It would have been nice if Jade had stayed a little longer and had had the time to clear up after her cooked breakfast, or had picked up her wet towels from the bathroom floor and possibly even wiped the bath, but she didn’t. She was too eager to go out and see her mum. I thought I’d give her a few more days to settle in
before I gently mentioned the matter of clearing up after herself: nothing heavy, just a few carefully chosen non-accusatory words along the lines that it would help me if she could clear up when she’d been cooking or had had a bath. I didn’t want Jade to think I was criticizing her, but Rachel had asked me to teach her some homemaking skills and clearing up was just as important as cooking and having a routine.
Adrian, Paula and I were mainly at home on Sunday. Adrian had some homework to do and when he’d finished we took the bikes out to the park for a while, but the wind was so cold we were soon back home again in the warm. Also on Sunday afternoon I telephoned my parents; we spoke at least once a week and usually saw each other every other weekend. My parents were very supportive of my fostering and they always welcomed, as family, the child or children I was looking after, and they were sad when the children left. My parents knew I was looking after Jade for a few weeks and they would meet her when we visited or when they visited us.
However, while Mum was quite liberal in her views my father was more traditional and had firm views about teenagers, especially when it came to teenagers and sex – they shouldn’t. He’d had a loving but strict upbringing himself and believed that teenagers now had too much freedom. And while he would never have expressed his views to Jade – he was far too much the gentleman – I knew he would struggle when he met her, a heavily pregnant teenager who saw nothing wrong in her situation and would rely on the state to support her and her baby. I didn’t blame him; he was of a different generation, and Adrian and Paula loved their grandparents deeply and since their father had left us a few years previously they had looked upon their grandpa as a father, a role my father happily embraced. We arranged for my parents to come to lunch the following Sunday. ‘I’ll have a chat with your dad before we come,’ Mum said. ‘Times are different now.’
Jade didn’t arrive home at nine o’clock as she’d promised. I waited until 9.30 and then phoned her mobile, expecting the call to go though to her voicemail. It didn’t. To my surprise she answered and was in very good humour. I could hear laughing in the background.
‘Jade, it’s Cathy, love,’ I said, hoping she’d realize she was supposed to be home by now.
‘Oh, yeah?’ she said nonchalantly.
‘Have you forgotten the time?’ I asked gently. ‘It’s 9.30 now.’
‘Oh, yeah,’ she said again easily. ‘I won’t be long.’
I heard another burst of laughter. ‘Where are you, Jade?’
‘At me mum’s. I told ya. I’ll be back soon. Bye!’ And amidst more laughter and shouting she hung up.
I sat for a moment with the phone in my hand and wondered. Possibly I’d heard something in her voice or in the laughter, something that didn’t quite ring true. It could have been her brothers and sisters, but it sounded more like teenagers to me, and all girls. I sat for a moment longer and then reached for my fostering folder. I opened it at the essential information pages, as I knew Jackie’s mobile number was listed there. I hesitated again, and then keyed in Jackie’s number. If Jade was at home with her mother I’d simply say I wanted to confirm what time Jade would be back.
Jackie’s phone rang a couple of times and then a female voice answered. ‘Yes?’
‘Is that Jackie?’
‘Speaking.’
‘Hello, it’s Cathy, Jade’s carer.’
‘Oh yes. How are you?’ she asked pleasantly.
‘I’m all right, thanks. And you?’
‘Not too bad.’
‘I was just wondering if Jade was with you?’
‘No. I haven’t seen her.’ My heart sank. ‘I take it she’s not with you, then?’ Jackie asked.
‘No. She left me this morning and said she was visiting you. I phoned her mobile just now and she said she was still with you.’
‘No. She hasn’t been here since she collected her things with you on Tuesday. She’ll be with her mates.’
My heart sank further. ‘Sorry to have troubled you.’
‘No worries. I hope she hasn’t been drinking again.’
‘So do I.’
I replaced the receiver, closed my fostering folder and stayed where I was on the sofa. Jackie hadn’t sounded anxious or worried at the news her daughter was missing and possibly drinking, but I could appreciate why. Jackie had had to deal with Jade’s behaviour for months, probably years, as well as working and bringing up her younger children. Now Jade was in foster care she no longer had that responsibility. Jade was my responsibility and I was very worried and also angry.
‘You silly, silly girl!’ I said out loud. ‘Whatever do you think you’re doing?’
Chapter Nine
Hurt by Dishonesty
Taking a deep breath to calm myself, I keyed in Jade’s mobile number. Her phone was answered, but amidst the laughing and shouting I couldn’t be sure it was Jade.
‘Is that you, Jade?’ I asked.
‘Yeah, who’s that?’ she shouted over the laughter. My number was permanently set to private so it hadn’t appeared on her phone.
‘Cathy,’ I said evenly. ‘I’ve just spoken to your mother. Where are you, Jade?’
‘Who?’ she shouted over the background noise.
‘It’s Cathy,’ I said, louder.
It went quiet and when she spoke again there was no background noise or laughing: I guessed Jade had either covered the mic on her phone while she silenced her friends or gone outside, for it was very quiet.
‘I’ll be back soon,’ she said, subdued.
‘You’ll come back now. Straightaway,’ I said. ‘If you’re not here in thirty minutes I’ll phone the social services, and then the police to report you missing. Do you understand?’
‘Yeah, I’m coming,’ she said. ‘I don’t feel so good.’
‘I’m not surprised, drinking in your condition. How much have you had?’
‘Dunno.’
‘Are you able to come home by yourself?’ I asked, concerned.
‘Yeah.’
‘Now then, please. Right away.’
The phone went dead and I replaced the receiver. I then spent an anxious half hour waiting for Jade to return. I was angry and also very worried. Jade had lied to me, which I wasn’t happy about, but I was more concerned that she’d had a lot to drink again. Jade couldn’t have listened to any of the warnings Tyler, his mother, Jackie, Rachel or I had been giving her. Bad enough if it was only her body she was destroying, but she was carrying a baby, a vulnerable little baby who didn’t have a say in Jade’s lifestyle or what she drank, and who deserved better treatment than this. I didn’t know what else I could say to Jade to make her change; she seemed set on a path of self-destruction.
When I heard a key fumbling in the lock of the front door I went down the hall and let her in. She was very pale and her clothes and hair were dishevelled.
‘I really don’t feel so good,’ she said, stumbling in and leaning against the wall.
‘I’m not surprised,’ I said, going to her. ‘Drinking to excess makes you ill.’
‘Ah, don’t go on,’ she said, rubbing her stomach.
Although I was annoyed with Jade, my immediate concern was for her health. She looked dreadful. ‘Do you need a doctor?’ I asked.
‘Na. I’ll be OK,’ she said, still leaning against the wall for support.
I wasn’t convinced she’d be OK. ‘When you say you don’t feel so good, what exactly do you mean?’
‘I feel sick,’ she said, rubbing her stomach again. ‘It was that cheap vodka from the corner shop. It doesn’t agree with me any more.’
‘Of course it won’t agree with you!’ I exclaimed. ‘Alcohol in large amounts acts as a poison. You’re carrying a baby, Jade. That baby eats and drinks everything you do. You shouldn’t be drinking at all.’
‘I know, I know,’ she said, waving me away. ‘I won’t do it any more.’
I’d said it all only a few days before; there was nothing else I could say. I helped Jade out of her coat and then
followed her upstairs, making sure she didn’t trip or fall. We went into her bedroom, where I laid out her nightdress and told her to change while I fetched a bucket from downstairs.
When I returned Jade was changed and climbing into bed. ‘Are you going to have a wash?’ I asked.
‘Na. Tomorrow. I feel sick.’
I waited until she was in bed and then I placed the bucket within reach. ‘I’ll leave your door open. Call me if you’re unwell in the night,’ I said.
Jade nodded. She was on her side and under the duvet. ‘Can you pass me Chi Chi?’ she asked, referring to the panda, which sat with the other soft toys at the foot of her bed.
I handed her the panda and she tucked it in beside her on the pillow. She put one arm around its neck and then snuggled her face into its fur, as a young child would. It was a touching and a poignant reminder of how young Jade really was. ‘I love Chi Chi,’ she said gently. ‘And I’m going to love my baby.’
‘Oh, Jade,’ I sighed. ‘I wish you’d listen to what people are telling you. You can’t keep on like this. Please stop drinking.’
‘I’ll try,’ she said sleepily.
A few strands of hair had fallen across her forehead and I lightly brushed them away. As I did, my fingers gently touched the skin of her forehead and Jade gave a little sigh. ‘That feels nice,’ she said. ‘Can you do it again?’
I sat on the edge of her bed and began lightly stroking her forehead. Having your forehead stroked is very soothing and comforting, and I’d done this to Adrian, Paula and the younger children I’d fostered when they were worried or couldn’t get off to sleep. After a couple of minutes Jade sighed with contentment, her eyes slowly closed and she fell asleep. I stayed where I was for a moment and looked at her. With her arm around her toy panda and her face relaxed in sleep she was a child again, as vulnerable and in need of looking after as the baby she carried.