Promise Her

by Johnston, Andrea

  He’s currently lying next to me on the bed, squirming around like one does in the middle of the night when you’re an infant and have next to no cares in the world. I, on the other hand, have nothing but cares and worries. I also know I need to get as much sleep as I can, so I pick him up and nestle him into my chest before walking around the room humming a lullaby until he calms and is asleep.

  Once he’s settled into his bassinet, I snuggle into the bed. When I can’t get comfortable, I switch my pillow for Taylor’s and let his scent welcome me to sleep.

  Stretching my arms over my head, I wiggle my toes and then fly up into a sitting position. Nicholas is wide-eyed and chattering to himself in the bassinet. The clock shows we just slept a solid three hours. Bright sunlight fills the room, and while it was only three hours, I slept hard and actually feel rested. Standing, I take the opportunity of his one-man conversation to handle my morning business in the bathroom before coming back into the room.

  Scooping him into my arms, I grab my phone from the nightstand and light the screen to see if I missed a call or message from Taylor. When there are no new messages, I shift Nicholas in my arms before making my way to the living room and place him in his little chair. Kissing his head, I inhale his baby scent. I know the day will come that he smells of socks and testosterone. It’s a long way off but the way Addy teased Mason last night, I’m going to dread the day.

  Pulling up Taylor’s name on my phone, I quickly press his number. When his voicemail picks up without a single ring, I don’t leave a message. There’s no point in leaving another message asking him to call me back. Instead, I plug the phone into the charger and attach it to the Bluetooth speaker in the kitchen. Once I’m connected, I cue up one of my favorite playlists and grind the decaffeinated coffee beans before setting the pot to brew.

  I go about my new morning routine of starting a load of laundry and replenishing my diaper changing basket as needed. By the time Nicholas begins to whine that he’s ready for breakfast, I’m ready to settle in with my glass of water and flip on the early morning news. Something I’ve learned since being in Lexington. Local news is sparse, not as sparse as Fayhill but close, and they really like their sports. The sports commentary is at least fifty percent of the show.

  I think Nick likes the sounds of the morning show hosts because he nurses the fastest in the morning. Either that or he hates them and wants this feeding over quickly so I can change the channel. He gets his wish because as soon as he’s done, I flip the television off and turn up my playlist. Now that he’s fed and I’ve had a glass of water, I pour myself a cup of coffee and add a splash of creamer before pulling eggs and veggies from the fridge.

  Turning up the music on the speaker, I sway my hips from side to side and sing along to the music as I chop and sauté. Lost in my own thoughts, I don’t hear Taylor walk in the house. The moment I feel his hands wrap around my waist, I scream and kick him in the shins. My scream startles Nicholas, and he begins wailing. Taylor yelps and jumps back. Pivoting, I spin to see him rubbing his shin and let out a sigh of relief.

  Leaving him in the kitchen, I rush to Nicholas and scoop him up. Holding him to my chest, I rock back and forth as he calms down. His wails turning to whimpers before he fully relaxes. I rush back to the stove and turn off the burners before turning my attention to my would-be assailant.

  “You scared the shit out of me.”

  “I called your name twice. I assumed you heard me. Damn, girl, you’ve got one hell of a kick on you.”

  Proud, I smile and stand a little taller. Taylor strides up to me, capturing my lips with his. After a deep but too quick kiss, he pulls back and says, “I missed you.” Then, before I can process what he said, he’s taking Nicholas from my arms and kissing the top of his head and curling him into the crook of his neck. “Missed you too, buddy.”

  And I’m a goner. Seeing him with my son, holding him close to his heart with his eyes closed absorbing all the feelings of holding a precious baby in his arms triggers something in me. If I wasn’t already one hundred percent in love with this man already, I would fall at his feet and beg him to let me love him.

  “I’m going to put him down. Then we can talk, okay?”

  “Yeah.”

  I give up on my attempt at a healthy breakfast and push the skillet aside before pulling a cup from the cupboard and filling it for Taylor. When he returns from the bedroom, he’s changed into a pair of athletic shorts and a tank top. I hand him his cup of coffee, but he sets it on the counter and pulls me to him. Wrapping his arms around me, he envelops me into a hug of epic proportions. I hold on to him with all that I have, hoping to absolve some of his worries and stress. After a few minutes, he pulls back and brushes the hair from my face before kissing my forehead.

  “God, I missed you. Thanks for the coffee, but do you think we can go lie down? I’m fucking exhausted, and I just want to hold you.”

  “Of course.”

  I let him lead me down the hall to the bedroom and we climb into bed. I scoot over to meet him in the middle, my head resting on my hands. He lifts up and pulls the sheet over us before settling his hand on my hip.

  “I’m sorry I didn’t call. It all seemed to happen quickly for us, but once the cops got there, everything slowed to a snail’s pace. How about the quick version before a nap?”

  Nodding, I stay quiet while he begins his story. To say I’m in shock would be an understatement. I believed with all my heart that Henry’s parents were equally hurt and devastated by his death. I would never have believed they were faking their sadness in an effort to get money from me. To steal from their grandson. And this Lyle person . . . the idea of him being in my home and touching my things, it makes me sick.

  “What happens now?” I ask.

  “Connor turned over the video and the detective said he thought it was pretty cut and dry. Of course, it’s up to the prosecutor. Worst case, they’ll all get charged with the drugs. The Gilberts may get a slap on the wrist but Lyle had a laundry list of parole violations, so I don’t think we have to worry about him anymore.”

  “Will there be a court hearing? Am I going to have to testify or anything?”

  “I don’t know. If you do, we’ll all be there with you.”

  And just like that, it’s all over. Or, just beginning. I suppose it’s how you look at it all. As I lie here and look at the man staring back at me, I see the blue chips of promise and happiness in his eyes. A slow smile appears on his face, and he tugs me closer to him.

  “What are you thinking?”

  Placing my lips on his, I hum before wrapping my arms around him, crawling into his space so we’re as close as possible. “I was thinking about beginnings. Thank you for doing this. For protecting us and saving me.”

  “You don’t have to thank me. You’re my family. I love you.”

  “Promise?”

  “Promise.

  Epilogue

  Scarlett

  Six weeks later . . .

  Addison Sinclair does not listen to instructions. One request is all I had. No party games. Yet, here we sit in a circle watching her draw something on an easel of paper shouting out baby terms like our lives depend on it. Connor keeps shouting the word “binky” for everything drawn in Baby Pictionary and has yet to be right. He says it’s the only baby thing he knows, and eventually he’ll have the right answer.

  “Why did we let her talk us into this?” Taylor asks as he leans in, Nicholas strapped to his chest in a baby carrier.

  “Because we love your sister and she wanted to throw us a party.”

  “She called it a ‘Sip and See.’ Everyone has sipped all of our beer and have seen Nick. They can go now.”

  Laughing, I kiss my love then turn my attention back to the drawing. Everyone has quieted and when I see the picture I know why. It may not be an eggplant but that’s exactly what it looks like. Then the buzzer sounds, and Addy hangs her head in defeat. Landon rushes to her rescue and whispers in her ear. When she
mumbles something back, he barks out a laugh and turns to the crowd.

  “It’s a baby monitor. And, on that note I’m calling this game a draw—literally.”

  A chorus of laughter breaks out and Addy turns three shades of red before accepting the glass of wine Minnie hands her. I’m still blown away by how all of Taylor’s friends have so easily accepted me into their group. Vera, Mercy, and Shane drove in from Fayhill I was thrilled to see them. I knew Mercy had worked for Taylor when she lived here, but it didn’t register that she had also worked with Ashton. I was very surprised when I learned that Mercy was also acquainted with Ashton’s fiancé, Jameson. That’s a little triangle I quickly excused myself from. But I needn’t worry because all three laughed it off, and Jameson thanked Mercy for pushing him and Ashton together in the first place.

  Grant walks up to us with a beer in his hand and his eyes on my baby boy. When he pauses and rubs his hand over his little bald head, I take the opportunity to ask him a question I’ve been holding on to until the right time.

  I slip my hand into Taylor’s and squeeze as a request for him to do the actual asking.

  “Grant, we wanted to ask if you would be Nick’s godfather.”

  He looks at my son and then to us. Looking from Taylor and then to me, he says, “Are you sure, Red?”

  “Positive. He has a daddy in heaven and a daddy in life,” I pause to look at the man who will raise my son and back to Grant. “But he also needs a godfather.”

  “I would be honored.”

  Grant shakes Taylor’s hand and then scoops me into a hug. He places a kiss on my cheek and whispers in my ear, “I’m happy for you, honey. Thank you for this gift.”

  Wiping the tears from my eyes, I smile. “This means you’ll have to visit Lexington. With Connor moving here and working at Country Road you don’t want him homing in on your uncle time.”

  “I was thinking about that,” he says before taking a drink from his beer. “Know any realtors? It may be time for me to put down some roots.”

  “As a matter of fact, I do.” Taylor looks around the yard and when he sees who he’s looking for he says, “Hey, Dakota. Can you come here a minute?”

  Dakota smiles and waves before finishing her conversation and walking across the lawn toward us. I watch as Grant follows her with his eyes. When she walks up to our small group, she smiles at us all.

  “What’s up?”

  “Dakota Jennings, this is our good friend and Nick’s godfather, Grant Ellison. Grant, Dakota.” Grant offers Dakota his hand and she takes it saying hello. He’s slow to release her hand which makes me smile.

  “Grant is considering moving to Lexington and is looking for a realtor.”

  Eyes wide, Dakota turns her attention to Grant and smiles wider before reaching into her back pocket. When she pulls a small business card from the denim, she holds it up for him to take.

  Laughing Grant says, “Wow, what else do you have in those pockets?”

  “There may be a cookie or hair tie. You never really know.”

  “Ahh, beauty and wit. Tell me, are you always this prepared for prospective clients?”

  “What? Oh! No, my sister just gave that to me. She designed it and brought it to me for approval. I actually just got my license, so you’d be my first.”

  Taylor and I look from Grant to Dakota and back as they banter. She’s smiling a lot, and his hands aren’t resting on his hips in the stance I’m used to.

  “Well, I’ve never bought one, so you’d be my first too.”

  “We are still talking about houses, right guys?” Taylor asks but neither of them look away from the other as they say “yep” in unison.

  I scrunch my eyes and look at Taylor, who is looking at Grant like he has two heads. We excuse ourselves and walk away, leaving the new realtor with her first-time client before we both break out in to hysterics.

  “Was Grant just flirting?” I ask between gasps for air.

  “I think he was.”

  By the time we compose ourselves, I have a side cramp and am bent over taking deep breaths. That’s when I glance up to see Taylor eye-level with me. On one knee. Nicholas is still strapped to his front, but now a piece of paper is attached to the fabric of the baby carrier and reads: WILL YOU MARRY THIS GUY? With little arrows pointing up from the sides of the paper.

  Gasping, I quickly stand, my hand covering my mouth as I look down at Taylor. A small velvet box is in his hand, and I couldn’t stop the tears if I wanted.

  “Scarlett Gilbert, you are the best gift I never knew I wanted or deserved. Let’s make this family official. Will you marry me?”

  “Yes!” It’s one word with so much meaning as I thrust my shaking hand toward him. Standing, he places the ring on my finger, and I step into his space, but before I kiss him, I look at my sweet boy and his gummy and slobbery grin. That’s as good a blessing as I’m going to get, so I look up at my fiancé and smile.

  Leaning down, he kisses me softly and public appropriate before whispering on my lips, “I love you.”

  A smile, the huge and toothy kind that only the happiest of women share, crosses my face. Tilting my head, I reach up, my hand cupping his cheek. “Why the ‘this guy’ part of the note?

  “I love you and I love him. You are my family, but we’ve never talked about who I would be to him.”

  “You’re his daddy. Henry is his father and will always be a part of who he is. We’ll never keep him out of his life, but at the end of the day, you’re the man who will sit up with him when he’s running a fever, teach him to ride a bike, and have the important talks with him as he grows up. You are the one who will teach him to be a good man and what it means to have integrity and respect.”

  His eyes gloss over with tears as he leans down and places a soft kiss to my lips.

  “You amaze me, Scarlett soon-to-be Cain. Thank you. We may have to discuss this fever thing, but I’m all in with the daddy part. Maybe we can talk about giving Nick a little sister.”

  “Whoa there, fella. Don’t you know the saying ‘first comes love then comes marriage’? We can pause the song right there. Besides, I’d love to get my ass back to how it was before this guy.”

  “I love this ass,” he says as he lightly taps my butt with his hand, “and I love you.”

  “Promise?”

  “Promise.”

  Acknowledgments

  To say that this book challenged me would be an understatement. As authors, many of us share our goals to push our limits and step outside our comfort zone in our writing. This book is me doing just that. The phrase “blood, sweat, and tears” was my reality in writing this book and while it exhausted me, I am also very proud of every single word on these pages.

  I’m a fairly open and transparent person (sorry Mr. J) and have been honest about my emotional struggles over the last few months. What I may not have fully expressed was how much of this book was written during a depression. I always say writing is my solace. My therapy. That was never more so than with Promise Her. There is so much stigma around depression and anxiety but what helps me through my journey is talking about it. So, here I am saying, I wrote a book that pushed my writing and my emotional storytelling to new heights all while I struggled each day to find my personal bliss.

  This book would be sitting in draft 7 if not for the amazing people I surround myself with. I will forget someone here in this section because honestly, the list is too long. So, thank you for the messages, the cards, the texts, and the calls. The lunch dates and the hugs. Each one came at a moment it was needed and I thank you.

  A heartfelt and special thank you to the men and women who serve our country and their families. Your sacrifice and commitment does not receive enough credit. Thank you for selflessly fighting for our freedoms.

  Alyssa Garcia. I say it with each book but thank you. Thank you for being my cheerleader and my friend. Thank you for knowing me well enough to read between my awful visions for a book. I always know what I don’t want
, it’s the what I do that’s the mess. Your ability to take that mess and make it beautiful is a gift.

  Karen L. – This is me sending you the biggest virtual hug. Your patience with me and this book is more than I deserve. Thank you for taking me on, making me a better writer, and for tolerating my misuse of the comma.

  Megan – Team work really does make the dream work. I could not take this journey with out you. I am in awe of your drive and commitment to helping me find success. I will never be able to thank you enough.

  Suzie – Just starting this makes me cry. I adore you and am so incredibly grateful for your support and friendship. Thank you for taking time out of your vacation (I’m still mad you did that) to help me with this synopsis. You are a true blessing and I wish I could hug you every day.

  Andee, Chelle, Jennifer, and Kiersten – There would be no book without each of you. Thank you for your honesty, support, kicks in the ass, and friendship. I appreciate you all for your notes, texts, voice messages, and real talk when it comes to my writing.

  Lynsey and Marisol – Thank you for taking the time to help me polish this book and make it ready for the world. Your friendship and willingness to pause life to help me polish this book means the world to me.

  Debbie and Shannon – You are such an asset to the team! Thank you both for all you do!

  Fiona, Karin, Becca, Kate, Lo, Kimberly, Adriane, Jodie, Hollis, Hazel, and Kathryn (yes, I searched all my PMs) thank you for the messages and check-ins. You’ll never know how timely and perfect each message was. Thank you for your friendship, for making me laugh, and always knowing that sometimes I need to be reminded of the big picture and to love myself.