Friggin Zombies

by N. C. Reed

  “I got an idea, I just hope I'm not too late,” I told her. “I just thought of something that will help with our water problem!”

  “What is it?”

  “Stock tanks!” I almost crowed. I don't know why I hadn't thought of it before and I don't know why thinking about the fire department made me think of it then, but a stock tank, or two, placed in the back yard and filled with water could give us another four, maybe five hundred gallons of potable water.

  “You mean like for a farm?” she asked and I nodded.

  “Is that safe to drink?”

  “I don't see why not, and anyway we'll filter it if we have to drink it,” I replied as I turned into the parking lot. I immediately saw two of the desired products sitting behind the fence. The store was still open, though it looked as if they were closing soon as the employees were moving stuff inside. I jumped out of the Blazer and headed inside, Connie right behind me.

  Ten minutes later I had purchased three two-hundred gallon tanks at the half-off, end-of-the-world sale price. The manager gave me a key to the lock on the gate which surprised me.

  “You could have just waited and stole them,” he shrugged. “Since you didn't, I'd say you're pretty honest. Just leave the key inside the fence, under that trough, there will be fine,” he pointed out a watering trough. I thanked him and grabbed Connie by the hand, heading back to the Blazer.

  “What are you doing?” she demanded as we got in.

  “I need to go get my trailer to haul these things,” I told her. “If I hurry I might get back in time to get some help loading them.” We literally raced home, running several stop signs along the way. I pulled into the yard as soon as the gate opened and drove straight around back to where my flat-bottomed trailer set. I hadn't used it in a while, but thankfully the tires were still up. I hurriedly hooked up, Connie not even getting out of the Blazer. In five minutes we were on our way back to town.

  I ran the same stop signs in reverse getting back and believe it or not made it with five minutes to spare. The manager just shook his head as he and another employee motioned for me to pull up alongside the gate. Together we loaded all three tanks on my sixteen-foot trailer and lashed them down. I handed the key back to the man, thanking them.

  They were heading to their own cars as we pulled out of the parking lot headed home once more. It was a slower trip this time as I didn't want to risk losing one of the tanks.

  “I think I'll leave them on the trailer, maybe,” I said as we neared the house. “If we need to move the tanks, it would be impossible to do without emptying the water first. Once we lose the utility, we can't refill them.”

  “You won't need the trailer for something else?” Connie asked.

  “I don't think so,” I shrugged. “I mean, this is our bug-out location. We're set up here and don't really have a fall back. Do we?” I asked, looking at her.

  “No,” she sighed. “Not that I can think of, anyway. I'd always thought I'd have one some day, but it doesn't look like that's going to happen.”

  “Hey, you got one here!” I pointed out and she smiled at me.

  Once we were home I pulled around back again and parked the trailer near the house. I grabbed the water hose and lashed the nozzle to the mouth of the first tank and turned the water on. It would take a while to fill all three so I didn't waste time.

  Connie went inside and soon Ram was running all over the yard like he'd lost his mind, yapping at everything he could see and stopping every five feet to pee. He saw the chickens still in their coop and caught another gear, running so fast that he tripped over his own feet once getting to the enclosure where he spent at least two full minutes chasing the chickens up and down the little fence. I finally managed to corral him and get him back inside.

  I released the chickens to roam the yard and get some exercise while I took my rifle and walked the fence. Seems a little extreme I guess, but things were getting ugly and I didn't want to be caught by surprise. It took me about twenty minutes to make that round and by the time I got back Connie had changed out of her Doctor Hottie uniform and had fixed us some lunch. I cleaned up and we took our sandwiches into the living room so that we could catch up on what was happening while we ate.

  The wheels were coming off of society and we had tried to be ready for it. It was time to take advantage of all that preparation and try and survive whatever was coming down the pike.

  Including friggin' zombies, man.

  *****

  In hindsight I should have expected it, but all I can say is that I wasn't really thinking about it. That changed with a phone call. Connie's cell started ringing, her ring tone from Phantom of the Opera.

  “Hey, Music of the Night!” I enthused. Connie looked at me a bit funny as she accepted the call.

  “Kane.” So authoritative. I liked that.

  “No, my office was burglarized two nights ago, approximately. I've closed it until further notice.” All I could get was her side of the conversation, but I noted a frown on her beautiful features.

  “Well, I'm not going to do that,” I heard her say rather firmly. “No way. And I've already served my time working with DWB. Yes, it does, I made sure of that.” I was frowning now. What the hell was all this?

  “That I'm willing to do so long as I can guarantee my own safety,” she said after a minute. “Don't throw that crap at me, I'm not listening to it, from you or anyone else. Of course I'm willing to help and how dare you remind me of my oath!”

  Uh-oh.

  “Well you should remember that calling with threats and blackmail aren't the best way to get cooperation from anyone. As I said I'm willing to work in the local hospital, but that's all you get from me. There's absolutely no way I'm going into the city and that's final.”

  What? Oh hell no.

  “I don't work for the hospital, Madeline. I have patients there sometimes and when I do I make rounds. I also work the ER about once every blue moon to fill in for others who are on vacation.” Pause. “Well at this point I don't think that losing my hospital privileges is going to have that great an impact on my practice.”

  “Yes, I'm willing to do that so long as I can guarantee my own safety, as I said. Yes, that means I'll be armed.” Pause. “I'm well aware of the hospital's policy and I don't care. If you want me to help out I'm glad to do so, but only under those conditions. I have no intention of putting myself at risk any more than I already have. I risked robbery at gun point to open my clinic and see my patients yesterday and today even with the front window and front door of my office destroyed, so please don't presume to lecture me about my responsibility as a doctor. I notice you aren't going into the city, now are you?” Longer pause.

  “I didn't think so,” the sarcasm in Connie's voice was clear. Pause. “I'll take the day shift,” she said finally. “Then you can let some of the men work the late shift, Madeline. In case you haven't noticed things are not so great out at the moment and I'm not going to be traveling after dark, alone, just so some old fuddy you used to sleep around with can be comfortable on days.” I clamped both hands over my mouth to keep from laughing out loud. My antics drew a sharp look from Connie but I was doing my best.

  “Fine, I'll see you in the morning. I'll work seven to three, but know that it's on a day-to-day basis. If things continue to worsen then I'm out.” Pause. “I'm sure you will, if you don't get eaten by zombies first.” Pause. “I have no idea what they actually eat, but there's no reason I can't be hopeful.”

  At that point I had to get up and leave the room, hovering at the kitchen door so I could still hear but not burst out laughing and interrupt her call.

  “Then I'll see you in the morning, Madeline. Oh, and I better not be short staffed either. No leaving me hanging on days to pad the night shift with extra help. I don't mind working but I'll be damned if I carry anyone else.” Pause. “You know damn well I'll never see a penny from this, Madeline, either from you or the patients, so that's an empty threat. Now do you want me to work
or not? Those are my terms and they are non-negotiable.” Pause.

  “Then as I said, I'll see you in the morning.” With that she cut the phone off and I thought she was going to hurl it against the wall but she thought better of it and threw a pillow instead.

  “Be hard to replace this thing right now,” she looked at me. “I'm sure you've figured out by now that they want me to come work at the hospital.”

  “I got that drift, yeah,” I nodded, easing back into the living room.

  “Wrinkled old bitch,” she muttered. “I hate that witch, I really do. She's tried her best to make my life miserable since I got here.”

  “Probably jealous,” I shrugged. “What can I do to help?” I asked, and was rewarded once more with the lion-killer smile.

  “Thanks, Drake,” she leaned against me and kissed me lightly. “I'm sorry.”

  “About what? Being mad? Sounded like she was trying to blackmail you into going into the city.”

  “That's exactly what she was doing,” Connie's frown returned. “She tried threatening me with the 'public service' clause in my loan contracts, but I reminded her that I already fulfilled mine when I was with Doctors Without Borders. Then she tried to threaten me by withdrawing my hospital privileges. An empty threat considering. I'm not going into the city and that's final. I will work locally so long as it's reasonably safe,” she added. “Though I don't know how long that will be.”

  “Well, so long as you're armed, you can keep yourself safe. And I'll be close by,” I added.

  “You can't just hang around the hospital all day,” Connie shook her head.

  “Can if I want,” I shot back with a mock pout that made her laugh.

  “Anyway, there 'll be something I can do in town I'm sure,” I waved away the protest. “If nothing else I'll volunteer at the hospital. I can help do something. And if things get too hot then we can load up and scoot.”

  “All right,” she nodded. “Honestly I don't mind helping at the hospital, it's just that her attitude is so. . .so. . .shitty!” I looked at her for maybe three seconds before busting out laughing. She glared at me for a few seconds but soon enough was laughing along with me.

  “All right,” I said finally. “We're still free for the rest of the day, so let's get back to watching things unfold and try to get as much information as we can. Might help tomorrow,” I pointed out.

  “It might at that,” she agreed. “And I am hungry. Arguing with that bitch always makes me like that.” She looked at me again suddenly.

  “You recognized my ring tone,” she said it as a statement rather than a question.

  “I did,” I nodded, smiling. “Love the Phantom of the Opera.”

  “It's one of my favorite things,” she said with a soft smile.

  “Have you ever seen the live performance from Prince Albert Music Hall?” I asked. “I think it was the twenty-fifth anniversary,” I added.

  “No,” she shook her head.

  “Then you, my dear darling Doctor Hottie are in for a treat, because I happen to have a copy,” I told her, smiling. “Let's fix us a bite and I'll put the DVD in!”

  “I'm in,” she nodded at once.

  And that was how we spent our afternoon.

  *****

  I was up, as usual, long before daylight. I eased out, careful not to wake Connie knowing she would be likely to have a hectic day ahead, and went to the living room, turning on the television. It was apparent almost immediately that the situation was growing still worse.

  One of the things that caught my eye was that the 'outbreaks' in the major cities were being openly acknowledged by officials now. There was still nothing from Dumb-asses of Columbia, but state and local officials in several areas were now on the record as having 'officially' recognized the 'seriousness of the situation concerning this disturbing phenomenon'.

  Translation; shit has done got real and we don't know what to do.

  There were now videos of apparent zombie attacks all over and even a few live streams from various local news agencies that maintained 'city cams'. DOT cameras on highways were also recording violence and 'uprisings' as some termed it. I shook my head at that. Even now, with clear evidence of what was happening, so many were still trying to rationalize what was happening, explain it away as some kind of civil disturbance.

  They would either learn to accept and adapt, or. . .well, they'd probably be eaten. One or the other. I shrugged it away. At this point I was concentrating on myself and Connie and not much else.

  I took my laptop to the kitchen and booted it up while I started some breakfast. I cruised through news sites and some medical web pages as well, looking for anything that might be helpful down the road. To be honest there wasn't much available other than panicky hyperbole at that point.

  By the time I had breakfast ready my lovely doctor came stumbling into the kitchen in a tank top and some remarkably short shorts. She honestly had no concept of how hot she truly was. Seriously.

  “Not really a morning person are you, sweetheart?” I asked with a smile, holding a cup of coffee under her nose as she sat down.

  “Oh, thank you,” her eyes opened a bit wider and she accepted the cup gratefully. “And no, not so much. You'd think I would get used to it after a while, but. . .I guess I worked too many nights when I was in residency.”

  “No problem,” I assured her as I slid a plate in front of her with pancakes and bacon.

  “You really will make someone a fine wife one day,” she grinned as she dug into the meal I'd made her.

  “I'm hoping so,” I smiled as I sat down with my own plate. We ate in relative silence as I turned the laptop where we could both see the screen and we watched the news, such as it was, while we ate. It was honestly just repeats of the same tired things for the most part.

  “When are they going to get a clue?” Connie muttered, shaking her head at one reporter's attempt to blame 'radicals' for the 'disturbances currently rocking the nation'.

  “They don't want one,” I shrugged. “As long as they don't say it, don't talk about it, it's not real to them in their ivory towers.”

  “It'll be real enough when someone takes a chunk out of their leg,” she said flatly and I had to agree.

  Honestly I kinda blame Hollywood for this one. Well, no, that's not fair either. I blame people who can't separate what Hollywood produces from what's real. Just like those idiots on the web earlier in the week giving 'advice' on ‘how to deal with the 'undead menace', these reporters couldn't separate the truth from fiction. Since 'zombies' was a Hollywood construct, they couldn't possibly be real.

  Newsflash; Holly-weird got the idea from somewhere! Zombies had been a part of almost every culture since before real written records. Was it real then? No idea. My point is that because they had 'seen' the movies, and maybe read the books, that meant that a real life zombie apocalypse couldn't be possible because it was a fantasy; science fiction.

  Unfortunately they were about to get a wake-up call and it would be costly.

  “We go now to Kelly Amberly who is on the scene in Overtown Square where there have been some minor incidents already this morning. Kelly?”

  “Thank you Tom,” the blonde said. You could tell she was scared. “It's really not accurate to say there's been incidents already this morning because the incidents haven't really slowed overnight. It's just a continuation of what's been happening for the last two or three days. Behind me you can see Overtown Place which up until early this morning was actually a very nice three story mall of small specialty shops and cafes. Now it's mostly a burned husk, destroyed by fire sometime after it closed early last evening due to the disturbances in the area around us.”

  “As the camera pans the area you can see that a few firefighters are still on the scene along with police as there appear to still be several demonstrators in the area. We tried earlier to speak with some of the protesters to find out exactly what they're protesting this morning, but very few would even acknowledge us and no
ne would speak on camera. They wouldn't give a reason for that, simply ignoring us altogether when we'd try to interview them. Officers we've spoken to in the last few minutes say that there is at least a temporary truce between the protesters and authorities while the fire and EMS services try to search for injured and ensure that the fire is completely out.”

  “Kelly is there any idea about how the fire started as yet?” Tom asked, to which I rolled my eyes. Who really gave a shit how the fire started at this point?

  “The investigation is still in preliminary stages and authorities are reluctant to speculate about possible causes at this time, Tom. In fact the arson investigator we spoke to said that due to hot spots in the structure that the investigation wouldn't truly begin until sometime later today once the building was made as secure as possible.”

  “Now the interesting thing here is that the crowd that was here a few hours ago apparently ran from the fire in fear, at least that's what a few witnesses are saying off camera. None are willing to speak to us on camera at the moment because, to be honest, they're afraid the crowd will return and they're hiding. You can see as the camera scans the neighborhood around us that many homes are now boarding up windows with whatever materials they can find. Several of the people we spoke to said that the violence of the crowd was startling, putting the older residents in mind of the fire and police riots of the mid-seventies.”

  I hadn't been around for that, but everyone I'd ever spoken to had agreed that it had been a very rough time. I shuddered to think that this was worse, but. . .there was a reason those people were boarding up their homes. And a good reason they weren't talking to the news team. No one wanted to spend time in the loony bin with the end of the world on the horizon.

  “Kelly, we're seeing some kind of disturbance among the people behind the tape, there,” Tom cut into my thinking. “Is there some kind of scuffle going on among the protesters?”

  “I don't. . .wait, I can see now, Tom. It does appear that an altercation is taking place behind the police barrier. . .okay, officers on the scene are moving into the area. . .oh my . . . Tom, I don't know if you can see but there's a large gathering of people behind the protesters who are. . .George can you get that? who are apparently attacking someone. . .no it's more like several someones. . .Tom it appears that a brawl has broken out here in the area behind the protesters as police are moving in to try and secure the area, I can see two officers trying to subdue. . .George we may need to move back some. . .there's an officer down! Tom there's an officer down now as others are trying to move in and contain the situat- oh my God!”