Once Upon a Christmas Past

by Regan Walker

  With the next gust the needles scratched her face and brought her, once again, near the falcon. Noelle opened her eyes. The bird’s eyelids were half-closed, its head turned away from the wind, feathered flanks protecting it from the blast of wind. This was her chance. Noelle located the notch where the varvel was trapped and grabbed at the limb to break the flimsy branch and free the bird.

  It was a big mistake.

  The moment she snapped the twig, a new gust whipped through the forest, ripped at her precarious perch, and Noelle lost her balance as the limb gave way.

  In desperation she clasped the bird to her chest, screaming as she fell through the air. Her screams were lost in the wind as she tumbled from one wide-spreading bough to another, the speed of her fall lessening each time she hit a limb.

  Somewhere on the way down, she let the bird go, and he flew away, not giving her a second thought.

  Ungrateful beast, Noelle thought as she hit the ground with a thud, knocking the breath out of her.

  She lay there wondering if anything was broken and gasped for air.

  She could not breathe.

  My God, she was dead and her body just didn’t know it yet.

  How long she lay there, Noelle did not know. Finally, she managed to move her hands to her throat. She needed air, but she could not make herself breathe.

  Suddenly, she was being pulled to her feet. Someone pounded her on the back, and she breathed blessedly cool, fresh air. She gasped and then took several deep breaths until her lungs were filled again.

  She could finally speak again. The guard would surely kill her if he kept pounding her on the back with such force.

  “You little fool,” the gruff voice said. “What, pray tell, were you doing climbing in yon tree like a squirrel?”

  Noelle turned to protest such impertinence—and found not a guard, but a knight. Her knight.

  No, not Gavin.

  Nicholas stared at her as if he was not sure whether to wring her neck or clasp her to him. He appeared to be leaning toward the first option, Noelle decided as she gaped at him and wondered how he’d found her.

  Finally, her senses returned. She felt battered and bruised, as though someone had beaten her, but luckily she didn’t think she had any broken bones. Grateful as she was to be rescued, she was in no mood to have someone shouting at her for some paltry reason.

  “I was trying to save your bird, you simpleton,” she blustered. “He was caught yonder on one of those branches,” she explained. She pointed upward and noticed that the bird was soaring overhead.

  “You could have broken your neck.”

  “But I didn’t,” she countered.

  His eyes blazed amber fire. “But you could have,” he argued, his gaze moving down to her bodice.

  Noelle followed his gaze and saw that her bodice had been torn. Quickly, she straightened her cotehardie to cover herself, and counted three additional tears as she moved away from him. She found her cloak on the ground, but Thor was gone.

  The wind cut through her with the sharpness of a new knife in spite of the way Nicholas’s gaze made her burn. It was as if he could see beneath her clothes . . . beneath her skin . . . and into her soul.

  Noelle turned away from his penetrating gaze. She needed to keep some distance between them, so she remained with her back to him to mask her emotions. Her body ached all over.

  And Nicholas’s attitude wasn’t helping. He infuriated her. How could he be so condescending when she had just saved his thankless bird? “A thank-you would suffice.”

  Nicholas stiffened as though she had struck him. However, he said nothing in response. Instead, he held up his arm, and the falcon swooped down and landed.

  “This is the problem,” he said as he undid the silver ring. “I let her fly free, but I forgot to remove the ring this morning.”

  He examined the bird’s wings, then he threw his arm up and she took flight.

  Noelle watched the bird soar against the wind. “What is her name?” Noelle asked.

  “Athena,” Nicholas said as he watched his falcon wing away. “She is a peregrine, the fastest animal alive.”

  “I see you named her after a god, as I did my horse.”

  Nicholas nodded. “Aye. And what did you name your mount?”

  “Thor. He is a war-horse.”

  “You ride a destrier instead of a palfrey?”

  “Aye.”

  He studied her intently. “Why does that not surprise me?” He paused, then posed another question. “How did you happen to wander so far away from the others?”

  “I was searching for mistletoe when I heard your bird’s tiny bell. But it was hard to tell which direction the noise came from, so I kept following the sound and soon found I was lost. I have no idea where I am or where my horse has gone. Have you seen my companions?”

  “Your ladies are safe. I met them on the road while I searched for Athena. They told me you were out here lost. Since a storm was approaching, I sent them back to Camelot.” He’d no more than gotten the words out than the first icy pellets began to fall. “We must return.”

  “Nay. Not without my horse.”

  Nicholas nodded, then mounted his destrier. He well understood the value of a faithful mount. He held his arm down to her. She grasped his forearm, and he swung her up behind him. Noelle wrapped her arms around his waist, then they rode off in search of Thor.

  “You have a beautiful destrier,” Noelle complimented.

  “He was a present from Arthur.”

  “It was most generous,” she said.

  Nicholas chuckled. “I thought so.”

  “You have a nice laugh,” she said, but figured he didn’t hear her because he failed to comment. She wondered if he laughed very much. She had a feeling it was something he rarely did.

  The sleet grew heavier, and Noelle pulled up her hood to protect her hair. She laid her face upon Nicholas’s strong back to protect herself from the biting wind.

  Twenty minutes later they paused, and Noelle called to Thor and heard his whinny. A moment passed, then he came trotting out of the trees toward them.

  Nicholas turned and helped her slide to the ground, but she landed wrong on her foot and tumbled to the ground with the cry of a wounded animal. “My ankle!”

  Quickly, Nicholas was on the ground beside her. “Is it painful?”

  “Aye,” she said, wanting to cry, but willing herself not to. She felt stupid enough as it was.

  Nicholas shook his head. “How can you fall from a tree, escaping with mere scratches, and then dismount a horse and twist your ankle?”

  She looked at him and gave him a half-smile. “Perhaps my luck finally ran out.”

  He almost smiled. “Will you be able to ride?”

  She nodded. “If you’ll help me mount.”

  He scooped her up into his arms and lifted her up to her horse who was dancing around from the bad weather. “Easy, Thor,” she soothed her skittish mount.

  “Cease.” Nicholas’s booming voice made her jump. However, Thor obeyed.

  She looked at Nicholas. “Do you always get such cooperation from animals?”

  “Aye. And men, as well.”

  Arrogant, she thought. She’d make sure she didn’t jump to do his will.

  They faced the horse, and Nicholas placed her on Thor’s back with hardly any effort whatsoever. Her heart hammered foolishly at his nearness.

  Seated, she looked down at him. “You will catch your death if we do not get out of this weather soon.”

  “We have wandered so far away from the castle in search of Thor that it is too dark to return. There is a sutter’s hut that will give us some protection from the storm until the soldiers are sent for us with torches to light our way.” Nicholas mounted. “Follow me.”

  She nudged Thor and noticed that ice was forming on the horse’s mane. “Poor boy,” she murmured as she patted him on the side of the neck, feeling very guilty about leaving him out in the cold for so long. By wandering
off, Thor had had to put up with this frightful weather when he could have been in a nice warm stable.

  The wind whipped the icy sleet across her face, stinging her cheeks, punishing her for her mischief. At the moment, a nice warm stable sounded very inviting even to her.

  Quickly she ducked her head and yanked her hood up further as she followed Nicholas in the fading light. It would be dark soon and she didn’t know how they would be able to see to make their way through the woods.

  Finally, they reached a rundown hut. The roof was intact and so were the walls, but there was a large, gaping hole where a door had once stood. They rode the horses into the building.

  She brushed the ice from her cloak. It felt good to be out of the icy weather. Safely inside, she didn’t have to worry that Thor would slip on the ice and injure a foreleg. She dismounted and was immediately reminded her ankle was still tender.

  Nicholas helped her up. “You could have waited for help.”

  “I’m used to doing things myself,” she said, then admitted, “I also forgot about my foot.” She shifted her weight to the other leg.

  “Stand here while I move the horses over to the side. I have been here before. They keep fresh hay for the animals and if we are lucky there will be a few blankets.”

  When Nicholas returned, he carried a couple of old blankets that had been in a corner. He shook the dust out of them and spread them out on the far side of the room on top of some hay.

  Returning, he scooped her up into his arms, causing a gasp to escape her lips.

  “Did I hurt you?”

  “Noooo,” Noelle said. She’d expected to lean on him and make her way over to the blankets. But to be held firmly in his arms had caused a dizzy sensation to race through her.

  “I wish we could build a fire, but I don’t have any dry kindling. We will have to huddle together under these blankets.”

  “You should take off your surcoat,” Noelle suggested. “It is wet. We can spread my cloak across us. It is fur-lined and should keep us from freezing.”

  Nicholas did remove his garment and tossed it to the side. Then he slid onto the blankets next to her, spreading the fur-lined cloak over them. He propped against the wall and moved her so her head rested on his chest.

  “Someone should be coming soon,” Nicholas said. “They will have torches. However, the ground is getting slippery so they may wait until morn.”

  “We will freeze,” Noelle said.

  “Nay. With the heat from our bodies and the fur, we will survive through the night. You need not fear, milady.”

  His voice had such a husky tone that Noelle felt wrapped in an invisible cloak of warmth. “I have no fear,” she confessed.

  “Good.”

  Noelle wished she could see his eyes and see what he was thinking. He was probably bored at having to spend an uncomfortable night with her. So maybe it was better she didn’t know what he thought.

  She stared out at the sleet, which was turning to snow. The fluffy flakes floated softly to the ground. It was as beautiful as it was cold. Noelle hated to admit she was quite comfortable snuggled next to Nicholas’s body, his muscular leg pressed next to hers. But she mustn’t think of him. She must concentrate on something else. For when she thought of Nicholas, her musings seemed to wander off in the wrong direction. So she stared out at the only thing she could see .. . the beautiful white flakes.

  The horses stamped their feet as they shuffled in the corner. It was a comfort to know she wasn’t completely alone with the knight. But it was much too quiet. “It isn’t often we get to see snow,” Noelle said breaking the silence when she could bear it no longer.

  “It is a nuisance.” Nicholas sounded bored.

  But Noelle wanted to talk. When she was talking, she wasn’t thinking. “It is beautiful,” Noelle insisted.

  “Are you always so stubborn?”

  “Aye.”

  He grunted. “I thought as much.”

  Evidently he thought the conversation was over, but he didn’t know her very well. “Where is your falcon?” Noelle asked.

  “She is never very far. She’s taken refuge in the cover of some thick trees or she could be perched in here and we cannot see her.”

  “How long have you had her?”

  “I’ve had Boots—”

  “I thought you named her Athena,” Noelle said. “Aye, but her nickname is Boots, which is what I call her most often.”

  “Odd name.”

  “If you look close, you will see brown feathers on both her legs that resemble boots,” he explained.

  “Now that you mention it, I do recall seeing her brown legs when we were in the tree,” she said.

  “That was foolish.”

  “But necessary,” Noelle retorted with a smile.

  “I can see one of your flaws.”

  “It’s dark. You can see nothing.”

  Nicholas laughed.

  “What is so amusing?” she asked, her voice taking on a sharper tone. He was laughing at her, something she did not like.

  “Milady, it would seem that you must have the last word. It’s a flaw.”

  “I have no flaws, thank you.”

  “I have my doubts.” He was laughing again.

  “Are you trying to make me angry?”

  “Nay. I need your heat to stay warm,” Nicholas said, but she could hear the smile in his voice.

  This time she laughed, too. “Since it is my body, my cloak . . . you should be very nice to me.”

  He laughed as if sincerely amused. “I shall remember that.”

  Noelle had to admit she enjoyed this easy banter between them. Nicholas seemed so relaxed now, nothing like the man she’d seen before. Still, she wasn’t ready for the silences. “You never answered me. How long have you had Boots?”

  “Near seven years. Boots has warned me of danger more times than I care to admit. She is loyal, but one day she will find a mate, and then I will have a family of falcons.”

  “She does seem loyal. Have you always had falcons?”

  “Nay. Truth tell, I never had a pet as a lad,” he said matter-of-factly. “Boots actually chose me. One day while I was riding alone in the forest, she followed me all day, and she has never left my side since.”

  Noelle laughed with sheer joy. “Love at first sight?”

  Nicholas chuckled. What a delightful creature, he thought. He couldn’t remember when he’d laughed so much. The lass was good company, but he couldn’t let her know that. “Sounds like some silly maiden’s thoughts.”

  “I’ve never experienced love myself, but I’ve been told it’s a possibility.” She punched his arm. “So do not laugh at me. I do know one thing about falcons.”

  All right, he would ask, though he probably shouldn’t. “And that being?”

  “Falcons mate for life. That could explain why Athena has never chosen another,” Noelle said softly, her breath fanning his ear.

  Nicholas turned his head towards her. He could smell roses. His body reacted immediately.

  God’s wounds. He clenched his fist—he didn’t need to react to her. His body felt as if it was half ice and half flame. “I think Boots stays more out of loyalty. What would she see in me to love?”

  The sound of his voice held sadness, and the many unspoken words tugged at Noelle’s heart. Who wouldn’t love this man? But she could never tell him such. She felt a strange heat seep through her body and wondered why it seemed to happen every time she was near Nicholas. She didn’t love him.

  All right, she’d concede that she could possibly be drawn to Nicholas.

  But that was all.

  Finally, Nicholas asked “Have you gone to sleep?”

  “Nay. I was thinking of your question.”

  “You can’t think of one thing, can you?” His voice held a slight raspy tone.

  “It is a silly question. There are many things about you to love.” She tried to keep her voice light and positive. “Let me see, you are brave, and a loyal knight
to the king.”

  “As are others. You are saying that I should be loved by what I do, and not who I am,” Nicholas said as he shifted his weight.

  Her body tingled from the contact. “You must be loved for who you are.”

  “There are those who love for what one owns. I should say, they want what one owns. There is no love, only greed.”

  Was she the only one who believed in love? “Have you ever loved anyone?” Noelle whispered.

  “Nay.” He shifted again, and suddenly she was closer to him. And then he surprised her by asking, “Have you?”

  Was it her imagination or had his voice changed ... become tender? “Nay, I have not loved, but I know he is out there somewhere.” She sighed and then added, “We are a pathetic pair, you and I.”

  Nicholas let out a long, audible breath. “Perhaps we are both just alike.”

  Noelle shivered and then yawned. It had been a tiring day.

  “You are cold, milady?”

  “A little.”

  “You need to be closer,” he said, and her blood began to race. He placed his arm around her and pulled her closer. She fitted perfectly next to him. “We should share our heat until help arrives.”

  “What if they do not come?” Noelle asked.

  “When first light breaks we will ride to Camelot. It will be safer with a blanket of snow over the ice. If we tried tonight, it would be treacherous for the animals.”

  “I agree.” She yawned again.

  “It has been a long day,” he said, absently rubbing her arm. His touch was oddly soft and caressing. “It will be a long night. Why don’t you put your head on my shoulder and I’ll keep watch.”

  “It isn’t proper,” she said sleepily but she had to admit that her head felt very heavy. She needed to rest against something. Yet an undeniable magnetism was building between them, and she didn’t know how to handle it.

  “Noelle,” he said her name, and it sounded like a caress. “There is no one around but you and me. Lay your head down and try to sleep. You are safe with me.”

  She settled back and enjoyed the feel of his arms around her, and the softness of his chest made a good pillow. She placed her hand across his chest. His hand was there, too.

  “Do you really not think that the white snow is beautiful?”