The Last Good Cowboy

by Kate Pearce

  Chapter Twenty

  Ry took the seat next to Chase in the lawyer’s office, and BB and HW filed in beside him. It was a bright, sunny day in Humboldt, but Ry didn’t really care. While Andrew was making small talk with Chase, he was too busy trying to keep his shit together to worry about such stupid topics as the weather.

  “I don’t think Professor Ford will be much longer.”

  Even as the lawyer spoke there was a knock on the door. The admin ushered in a tall, thin man with fading white hair, who almost took a step back when all four brothers rose simultaneously to their feet. His gaze fixed on Ry and HW, and then moved back to the lawyer.

  “Good morning, Andrew.”

  “Professor, thanks so much for joining us. These are the Morgan brothers, Chase, Blue, Ry, and HW.”

  He nodded at them and took a seat. “I understand you wished to speak to me about a matter regarding my wife, Annie.”

  “That’s correct.” As already agreed, Chase took up the conversation. “I’m not sure exactly what Andrew has told you, but we believe your wife was once married to our father, William Morgan.”

  “I know that Annie was married before. She told me that, and obviously she had Rachel with her when we met.” His gaze returned to Ry and HW. “You both look rather like Annie and Rachel.”

  Chase handed over a small photograph of Annie with all four of the boys. “This is one of the last pictures taken of our mother at the family ranch.”

  Professor Ford studied it for a long while. “It certainly looks like her.”

  “Did she ever tell you why she left her first husband?”

  The professor sighed and removed his reading glasses. “From what I understood, she was deeply ashamed of what happened back then, and convinced herself that the best thing she could do was leave before she seriously hurt someone. I understood that she was suffering from an extreme form of postnatal depression after Rachel’s birth.”

  “Did she tell you she had more children?”

  “No.”

  Ry looked out the window. It sounded like she hadn’t really changed at all . . .

  “Do you think she might be willing to at least meet us?” Chase sat forward. “Or just email, or . . .”

  “That’s not possible.” Professor Ford frowned. “I apologize if I didn’t make that clear immediately. She died two years ago of cancer of the liver.”

  Ry sucked in a breath as all the air in the room seemed to disappear.

  “What?” BB was the first to recover. “She’s dead?”

  “Yes, it was mere months between her being diagnosed and her death.” He cleared his throat. “Rachel and I were both with her at the end. She died peacefully.”

  Chase sat back. “That’s . . . sad to hear. We all hoped to get a chance to reconnect with her, you know?”

  God, and Chase did sound sad, as did BB. Ry wasn’t sure how he felt. The relief that he wouldn’t have to face her coupled with the idea that she no longer existed and couldn’t provide any explanation for her behavior was blowing his mind. HW snuck an arm around Ry’s shoulders.

  “Just before she died, Annie did try to tell me that she hadn’t revealed everything about her former life. She was greatly troubled by the harm she might have caused. If she’d been more specific, I would have tracked you down and offered you the opportunity to say good-bye to her.”

  She’d never say good-bye now . . .

  “Does Rachel know anything about her real family?” Chase asked.

  The professor’s smile was pained. “For all intents and purposes I’ve been her father, and she had all the advantages of growing up in a real family.”

  Chase quickly corrected himself. “I apologize. I meant, does she know anything about her biological family’s history?”

  “I don’t think so. She was just a baby when Annie left her first marriage, and around three when I first met her mother.”

  Chase nodded. “Do you think you might tell Rachel about us? Just the facts.” He placed a folder on the lawyer’s desk midway between them. “I’ve compiled all the relevant information here—including health concerns for her biological paternal line.”

  Professor Ford took the folder. “Thanks.” He hesitated. “Is he still alive?”

  “Our father, you mean?” Chase nodded. “Yeah.”

  “Annie was worried about him, I remember that. She felt she’d let him down terribly. I’m glad to hear he’s still in good health.”

  Ry literally had to bite his tongue not to share the hell his father had gone through since Annie had left him. That story was for another time—or maybe never. He glanced over his shoulder at the door. He just wanted to get out of there. Chase was still yakking.

  “I included information about how to contact us if Rachel wants to do so. I give you my word that we won’t attempt to talk to her without running it by you first.”

  “I appreciate that.” The professor stood, his gaze lingering on Ry. “She never told me she had identical twins who looked just like her. It’s quite amazing.” He shook hands with Chase. “I promise I’ll consider everything you’ve told me very carefully and make a decision about whether Rachel should be informed.”

  “We’d appreciate that.”

  The door closed behind the lawyer and Professor Ford, leaving the four brothers alone.

  BB kicked the leg of the desk. “Well, that was a complete bust.”

  “Not really.” Chase had his annoyingly bland voice on. “We established that Annie did survive, and went on to marry again. It’s a pity she wasn’t around to see us.”

  “Yeah, she managed to avoid taking responsibility for all her shit,” Ry heard himself saying.

  “That’s not completely true, bro,” HW said carefully. “It sounded like she had plenty of regrets.”

  “Like not remembering she had four kids she abandoned and a husband she drove to drink? Yeah. Nice.”

  “Ry . . .” That was Chase, of course.

  He flung up a hand. “It’s okay, I get it. She was depressed and she left.”

  “She left because she realized she might hurt someone, and she was right. She tried to drown her own child, Ry. That must have been terrifying. She thought she was doing the right thing.”

  Ry walked over to the window and stared out across the parking lot. He remembered the horror on her face when HW had fought her off and pulled him out of the tub, soaking wet and shivering. That’s why he had ended up cleaning the bathroom by himself, because she’d turned tail and disappeared down the stairs, where she’d almost taken their father out with a knife.

  HW came to stand beside him. “She must have left because of what happened that night, Ry. In her mind, leaving was the lesser of two evils, and maybe she was right.” He squeezed Ry’s shoulder. “She wasn’t like that before Rachel was born, don’t you remember?”

  “I can’t.” His voice emerged sharp enough to cut glass. “All I can remember is her being angry.”

  “Maybe she’ll come back to you, now she’s at peace.”

  Ry considered that as he struggled to accept what would never be. “Maybe.”

  * * *

  When they arrived back at the ranch, the lights were blazing and everyone was in the kitchen, waiting dinner for them. Ry had thought about leaving quietly and going to town to see Avery, but she was right there helping Ruth dish out the lasagna. He had no desire to hear the whole thing rehashed over the dinner table, but he guessed he had no choice.

  Avery sat next to him, one hand on his thigh whenever she wasn’t working on her food. She hadn’t said much, but he could see the anxiety in her occasional glance his way. At least Chase had passed on a few of the important details in a phone call to Billy so he could brief Ruth.

  Eventually, they were all drinking coffee or tea and Ruth looked over at Chase.

  “So Annie is dead, then?”

  “Apparently.”

  Ruth shook her head. “May she rest in peace, the poor girl.”

  “Amen,
” Roy murmured.

  “And what about Rachel?”

  “She doesn’t know anything about us,” Chase said. “I asked Professor Ford to consider informing her of our existence. He didn’t seem that keen.”

  “She’s an adult now, right?” January asked.

  “She must be twenty.” Billy studied his scarred, joined hands. “I can’t believe that.”

  “But that means he can’t stop you contacting her if you want to.”

  Chase let his gaze wander around the table. “I’d rather wait and see what he does with the information before I blunder in there and upset her.”

  “Agreed,” BB said, and HW nodded.

  “What do you think, Ry?”

  He looked up to find everyone staring at him. “Fine by me.”

  “You sure?” Ruth reached for his hand. “It’s going to be okay, darling boy. It really is.”

  He found a smile somewhere. “I know.”

  * * *

  A while later he walked out onto the porch with Avery, and they settled into the swing BB had recently installed there. He kicked off from the floor and let them rock gently back and forth, soothed by the creak of the rope and the whisper of the wind coming down the mountain pass.

  “So that’s that,” Ry finally said. “She’s gone, and I’ll never get to see her again.”

  Tucked against his side, Avery placed her palm on his chest. “Maybe it’s for the best.”

  “I hate things being so . . . unfinished, you know?”

  She looked up at him, her brown gaze clear. “But life isn’t like that. You can’t expect everything to be tied up in a neat bow.”

  “Why not? That’s what Chase expects.”

  “He wanted to see your mom again, didn’t he?”

  “Sure.”

  “Then he didn’t get what he wanted either, did he?”

  “None of us did.” Ry hesitated. “It’s weird. All that fuss and anxiety and now nothing.” He shifted his weight and rocked the swing again. “I wonder if Chase regrets starting the search at all.”

  Avery chuckled. “He might be cross at how much it cost, but I don’t think he’s the kind of guy to regret anything he sets his mind to solving, do you?”

  “You make him sound so attractive.”

  “I’m not attracted to him in the slightest, and you know it. And January would kill me if I tangled with her man.”

  “She might,” Ry acknowledged. “She’s got a bit of a temper on her, despite all that sweetness.” He glanced down at her. “Like someone else I could mention.”

  “Are you talking about me?”

  “You know I am, but I’d rather see you all riled up than sitting around feeling sorry for yourself.”

  She sat bolt upright. “Ry Morgan—”

  He stopped her talking by kissing her, and then kissing her again when she tried to splutter something else. Eventually, she kissed him back. It felt so right sitting there on the porch next to his woman, surrounded by his family and doing something he loved. All those things—all of them meant so much more than the ghost of a mother who had made some bad choices and lived to regret them. Hopefully time would help him forgive her, and let him remember how she’d been before . . .

  He eased back a little and stared down at Avery’s flushed face and parted lips.

  “Avery . . .”

  She scowled. “You really need to stop doing that kissing thing. It makes me forget all the important things I mean to say to you.”

  He grinned. “I’ll do it again if you don’t stop and listen.”

  “You are so—”

  He kissed her nose. “Amazing, I know. And I love you. I think I always have.” He smoothed her hair out of her eyes. “Ever since you were fourteen and you fell off your horse into our creek.”

  “Not when I kicked you in the shins?”

  “There was that, too, but seeing you dripping wet, climbing back on that horse, stole my heart. You laughed, didn’t make a fuss. and just kept moving.”

  Her smile was as wobbly as her voice. “Sometimes that’s all you can do, right? Just get up and keep going.”

  “Some of us take longer to work that out than others. You had to deal with all that shit when you were eighteen, and here you are, still driving me nuts seven years later.”

  “You weren’t here to drive nuts. I wish you had been.”

  He mock frowned at her. “That’s beside the point. I realized the other day that every woman I’ve met since I left home hasn’t stood a chance because they weren’t you.”

  Her breathing hitched. “Oh, Ry, that’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.”

  “Nicer than I love you?”

  “Different nice.” She made a face. “Now I feel stupid saying it back to you because you’re going to think I’m saying it because you did.”

  “What?” Ry held her gaze. “I’m a simple guy, Avery. If you mean them, I’d like to hear the words.”

  “Okay.” She drew a deep breath and looked so serious he wanted to laugh. “I love you, Ry.”

  He bit back a smile and tried to look as solemn as she did. “Thank you.”

  She flopped back against his shoulder. “Man, that was hard.”

  “You should’ve practiced, like I did.”

  “You practiced? Like in the mirror?”

  “Dude. I didn’t want to make a complete fool of myself. Getting all mushy and confessing you’re in love isn’t in a man’s comfort zone.”

  “I can’t believe you said it first.”

  “Neither can I. HW will laugh his nuts off.”

  She snuggled up against him, and he held her tight as happiness flowed around him and through her.

  “I’m glad you told me this now, Ry.”

  “Why’s that?”

  “Because I’m going to be so busy with the wedding preparations that I’m not going to see much of you for a couple of weeks.”

  Ry stilled the swing by digging the toe of his boot into the planking. “But if you stay up here, I’ll get to see you every night.”

  “Good thinking, cowboy.”

  Behind them, the screen door opened and a beam of light spread like a golden carpet across the shadowed wooden planks.

  “You guys doing okay out there? Swing holding up?” BB called out. “Ruth wants to know if you want a blanket, or are you coming in for hot chocolate?”

  Avery shivered.

  “We’re coming in.” Ry helped her out of the swing and, ignoring BB’s wink, walked back into the house holding her hand. In one day he’d had to deal with his past, but he’d also made strides toward a much better future.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  “Everything is under control, January. Trust me.”

  Avery said the same words for the thousandth time, and really tried to mean them as she shut the door and went down the stairs. Dealing with Chase was even worse, seeing as he’d drawn up timesheets and protocols for every emergency under the sun, including an earthquake and a nuclear explosion. He’d also accessed her event database, and every time something on the schedule slipped, he was texting her to ask why.

  She was used to dealing with hysterical and demanding brides, but if Chase didn’t knock it off she was going to set Ry on him. Coming down the stairs, she paused to check the kitchen, where some of the staff were plating up the food that didn’t need cooking. Ry’s dad had been supervising them for awhile but had gone up to get changed.

  “Everyone okay?” she asked brightly. “Good.”

  No point in stopping in case anyone actually did have a problem. She had more important things to focus on right now, such as the non-appearance of the band, and the disappearance of half the floral arrangements.

  Yvonne and her chef friend were busy in the industrial-size kitchen tent they’d erected in the pasture near the house. The Hayes staff, headed by Marley, had done all their cooking at the hotel and brought everything up to be dealt with by the chef. It was chaos in there, and Avery was keeping clear
until she was called in to help.

  Her cell buzzed with another text from Chase, and she said a very bad word.

  Out behind the barn she found the man she was looking for.

  “Ry!” He was moving toward her with his usual lack of urgency. “Come here!”

  He raised an eyebrow and changed course. “What’s up?”

  “Number one, you should be changed by now, and number two, tell your brother Chase that if he doesn’t stop calling me I’m going to take his cell phone and do something really unpleasant with it.”

  “I’m going to change right now. We had some problems moving Nolly away from all the people. He seems to think he should be a bridesmaid or something.”

  Avery sighed. “Darn, I wish I’d thought of that. It would’ve been hilarious.”

  “Except he’d eat all the flowers and crap on the carpet.”

  “I think he’s already eaten half the flowers,” Avery said darkly.

  Ry patted her shoulder. “I’ll talk to Chase. He’s just a tad nervous.”

  “Just a tad? He’s worse than January.”

  “He can’t help it. He’s a bit of a control freak.”

  She opened her eyes wide at him. “You think?”

  Ry gave her a sympathetic hug. “How’s everything else coming along?”

  “Great, actually. We’re all set.”

  “Cool.” He kissed her cheek. “Don’t get so caught up in organizing everything that you forget to enjoy the wedding yourself.”

  “I’ll do my best.”

  Her cell buzzed again. She didn’t even need to look down to see it was Chase. She might have growled.

  Ry whistled. “If you keep clenching your teeth that hard you’re asking for a lifetime of dental work.”

  “As is your oldest brother if he doesn’t stop texting me.”

  “I’ll get him calmed down, I promise.” He blew her a kiss as he walked away. “Avery?”

  “What?”

  His gaze dropped to her scuffed cowboy boots and torn jeans. “You might want to think about getting changed yourself.”

  “Oh crap,” she whispered, and stumbled back to the house.

  * * *

  Ry took up his station at the back of the seating area, and surveyed the seated guests. Avery had transformed the ranch into some kind of mythical fairyland, complete with hundreds of lights illuminating the trees, candles everywhere, and a flowery arch under which his brother Chase was currently pacing and checking his watch.