The Road to You

by Melissa Toppen

  “Carol,” I repeat softly, my gaze still on the bound paper. “Did you read it?” I ask, almost afraid to look at him.

  “I did.” His answer sends my eyes straight to his face and I find him watching me hesitantly, like he’s not sure how to proceed just yet. “It’s incredible, Elara.”

  “I sold it,” I blurt, not really sure what to say.

  “I heard you were pitching to Element Studios. I take it all went well.”

  “It did,” I confirm, nodding slowly. “Though I’m not sure I’ve really processed it all. It happened so quickly.”

  “It doesn’t surprise me.” He gestures to the manuscript. “This is probably one of the best things I’ve ever read. I had no idea how talented you are.”

  “I don’t know if I’d go that far.” I shrug, blowing out a slow breath.

  “I would.” He shifts so he’s facing me, his dark eyes boring into mine as his hands come out to cup my face. “Did you mean it?” he asks softly, his gaze going to my lips before finding my eyes again.

  “What?” I breathe, my pulse pounding so hard there’s no way he can’t feel it.

  “In the story, did you mean what you said about the other brother? The one who brought you back to life?”

  “Every word,” I admit.

  “This wasn’t just any story, was it, Elara? This was your truth.”

  “It was. It is,” I stutter.

  “And since you’re here right now…” He trails off, his thumb skirting along my bottom lip.

  “It means I’m ready,” I push out past the knot in my throat.

  “Thank God.” That’s all he says before his face dips and his lips meet mine.

  My body remembers his touch perfectly. The way he starts soft, sliding his tongue along the seam of my mouth, asking, coaxing. The way one hand slides up the back of my shirt, his palm flattening against the bare skin on my lower back, while the other snakes around my neck holding me to him.

  I don’t know how long the kiss lasts. One minute. Five. Ten. All I know is that when he finally pulls back I’ve been reduced to nothing more than a puddle at his feet.

  “Do you have any idea how hard it’s been for me?” He drops his forehead to mine. “How many times I’ve wanted to come to you? How fucking miserable I’ve been without you?” He pulls me tighter against him. “I kept telling myself I was doing the right thing, but the more time that passed the more I regretted my choice to walk away from you.”

  He pauses, pulling his face back to look at me. “But then I got that.” He nods toward the island behind me where the manuscript is sitting. “And I knew it was all worth it. Every day of missing you. Every day of wishing I could hold you, kiss you, make love to you. It was all worth it because I knew reading your words that you had finally found the peace you needed to find.”

  “You gave me that,” I tell him, tears forming behind my eyes.

  “No, I simply pointed you in the right direction. You did all the work.”

  “I couldn’t have done it without you,” I say, keeping my face tilted up to hold his gaze. “I realized something while I was writing.”

  “What’s that?” he asks when I don’t elaborate.

  “I realized that it’s okay to love you both. For the longest time I felt guilty for loving you because loving you meant I loved him less. But I don’t love him less, I just love you differently. You’ll never replace Kam because you’re not Kam, and I don’t want you to be. I love you with every part of me, not just my heart. What you mean to me goes beyond friendship or connection or history. Kam was my best friend. Perhaps even my first love. But you, Kane Thaler, you are my everything. You are my heart. My lungs. My flesh. The very blood that flows through my veins. You are as much a part of me as I am myself. This is with you.” I pull his hand from my neck and place it flat on my chest, directly over my heart. “I think it’s been with you from the first moment our eyes met, I just didn’t know it at the time.”

  “Are you really here?” he whispers, arm tightening around my back, eyes refusing to lose my gaze. “I’ve been dreaming of this moment for weeks and now that you’re here, looking at me the way you are right now, saying the things you’re saying, I feel like maybe I’m dreaming and any moment I’m going to wake up and you won’t be here.”

  “Do you want to be with me?” I cut him off.

  “You know I do.” A slow smile forms on his lips.

  “Then I’m not going anywhere,” I reassure him, my hands reaching up to cup either side of his scruff covered jaw.

  “I love you.” He leans forward, murmuring against my lips.

  “I love you,” I repeat, deepening the kiss as I pull him impossibly close.

  Kane works my body with expert precision. Knowing exactly where to touch me, kiss me, how to move just right so that I’m nothing more than putty in his hands. And that’s exactly how I like it.

  I used to be a girl who needed to control everything. Now I know that sometimes the best things happen when you just let go.

  And as Kane lifts me into his arms and carries me toward his bedroom, I have only one thought in my mind. I’m exactly where I’m meant to be. After everything, I’ve finally found my place, my peace, my home, and I found it all in Kane Thaler.

  “Hey, little brother.” I slide down in front of Kam’s headstone. “Sorry it’s been so long since I’ve visited. It’s been a crazy few months,” I say, finding it hard to believe it’s been nearly four years that he’s been gone.

  So much has happened since then. I’ve experienced heartbreak like I never thought possible but I’ve also experienced more happiness in the last three years than I thought I’d find in an entire lifetime. And while I’m eternally grateful for every moment of that happiness, a part of it will never feel fully complete because my brother is not here to share it with me.

  “I have a lot to fill you in on. So much has happened since the last time I came to see you, though I’m sure you probably already know everything I’m going to tell you.” I smile, knowing I’ve felt his presence in every major moment over the last three years.

  Especially the day I married Elara. It was last April, over a year ago now. We had a small ceremony in Italy. Elara insisted we do it on a cliff overlooking the water and who was I to deny her. I’d have married her diving off that cliff had she asked me to, as long as I got to call her my wife at the end of the day.

  Her dad and Lynette were there, as were my parents, and her Aunt Carol. It was one of those perfect days and I knew in that moment like I know right now, Kam was with me. I could feel his hand on my shoulder, hear his voice in my ear, sense the smile I knew he was wearing. And while I wish he could have been there in body, knowing he was there in spirit was enough for me and Elara.

  “Elara sold her second manuscript last month. She’s so amazingly talented, Kam. Though I know you know that already. You should have seen her. Belly out to here.” I gesture with my hands in front of me. “Handling those pitch meetings like she owned the damn room.” I smile. “She always did know how to command a room of men. We are living proof of that, brother.” I chuckle.

  “We sold the apartment in Italy. It killed Elara to do it but we need something bigger. We bought a place about thirty minutes outside of Milan. It’s incredible, Kam. The view is unlike anything you’ve ever seen. The green space. The water. It’s like something out of a movie. Every day when I wake up I walk out and find Elara sitting on the porch, rocking back and forth on the porch swing she insisted I hang, and every day I think to myself ‘how did I ever get so lucky?’ And then I think of you.” I touch his headstone, hearing the soft footsteps approaching from behind.

  “But that’s not the reason I’m here, little brother. I thought.” I turn, smiling up at Elara who looks like an angel standing over me, her blonde hair blowing in the breeze. “I thought you’d like to meet your nephew,” I finish, taking my son from his mother’s arms and cradling him against my chest.

  Elara slides down onto the
ground next to me and presses into my side, her hand curling around my bicep as her head goes to my shoulder.

  “I’d like you to meet Kamden Samuel Thaler,” I say, looking down at the dark haired sleeping boy in my arms. “You once told me that if I ever had a son I had to name him after you. While I’m pretty sure that conversation only happened in my mind, neither of us could imagine naming him anything else,” I say, looking down at my teary eyed wife, to my sleeping newborn son, and then back up to my brother’s headstone.

  “Life was taken from you way too soon but you will live on every day in your nephew. In me.”

  “And in me,” Elara speaks up, not lifting her head from my shoulder.

  I smile down at her and my son, silently thanking my brother for the incredible life I’ve been given. Whether he realizes it or not, none of this would’ve been possible without him and though I’ll never get to tell him any of this face to face, deep down I know he already knows.

  First I want to say thank you. Thank you for reading The Road to You. Thank you for allowing these characters and their story to be a part of your lives. Just thank you.

  As a high school student I started writing my first book. It was choppy and messy but I knew, hidden beneath all the plot holes and typos, there was a story worth telling. Fast forward nearly twenty years later and my vision has finally come to life. It was one hell of a ride and I truly hope you enjoyed it.

  Of course none of this would have been possible without an amazing group of people standing behind me. To my husband and kids—You are my life. I love you more than words could ever say. To my friends and family—Thank you for your support and love. It means so much.

  To my reader group Melissa’s Mavens—You ladies rock so freaking hard! Thank you for everything you do. I love each and every one of you.

  To my ARC and Beta readers—Thank you for taking the time out of your own lives to help me bring this book to life. It means more to me than I will ever be able to express with words.

  To Angel—I can’t thank you for just one thing because you do it all. You truly are a blessing and I will never be able to thank you enough for everything you do for me. I am so honored to call you my friend.

  To Rose—Thank you for all your hard work on this project. Editing is never an easy task and I know this book wouldn’t be what it is without you. Thank you for seeing my vision and helping make this book the best it could be. You truly are incredible.

  Most importantly I want to thank my readers. Thank you for taking the time to read my work. Thank you for your continued support. You are the backbone, the most important part of this entire operation, and without you none of this is possible. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.

  Remember, the road isn’t always smooth but life has a way of taking us exactly where we need to go. Enjoy the journey.

  XOXO

  -Melissa

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