Wreck My World

by Victoria Ashley

  “I don’t think so.”

  “Is she sleeping?”

  He shakes his head. “Not that I know of. She’s been staying here at my parents’, and my mom says she wakes up through all hours of the night to check on Dakota and she’s always awake. Doesn’t matter what time it is.”

  I exhale and look around the roomful of people, in search of Dakota. She walked away with Hope minutes ago and I haven’t seen her since. “Are you going to be okay if I go find your sister?”

  Roman nods. “Yeah. Stiles is making a plate. Go check on Dakota. She’ll be grateful.”

  It takes a few minutes, but I finally find Dakota sitting alone on the couch. She barely looks at me when I kneel down in front of her so that we’re face to face. “Talk to me, Kota. I’m here for you.”

  “I don’t want to talk, Easton.” She finally looks my way, her eyes dark and swollen from all the crying and lack of sleep. “I just want this nightmare to end. That’s never going to happen, though. I haven’t existed a single day that she wasn’t here. I don’t know what to do. I just want to disappear.”

  Moving in closer, I cup her face and press my forehead against hers, wiping my thumb over her cheek when a tear falls, followed by another. “I want it to end too. Trust me, there’s nothing I want more than to take this heartache away. Make all the sadness disappear. We all miss Quinn.”

  Her tears flow faster, so I keep wiping them off, wanting to take them away, but I can’t. I miss Quinn too, but what I can’t figure out is why it almost hurts more seeing Dakota this way. I lost someone I cared about forever, yet the girl in front of me is breaking me even more. I want nothing more than to comfort her and take her pain away. These last few days have been hell watching her unable to cope.

  “I’m here for you,” I whisper, close to her lips, my heart aching to move in closer. “I’ll always be here for you.” My body leans in automatically, so close her breath fans my mouth, and as my lips nearly brush hers, my brain begins to work. I pull back and turn away, ashamed that I almost kissed her; especially here, right now, after just losing Quinn. What special brand of asshole do I have to be to almost kiss Dakota after losing her sister, which was also my girlfriend?

  “Fuck!” I stand up and run my hands through my hair, taking a step back as she looks up at me.

  “Easton.” She swallows, looking worried. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing,” I lie. “I need to go check on Roman.”

  Pulling my eyes from her so I can’t see the hurt in hers and make the mistake of trying to comfort her again, I hurry away and lock myself in the bathroom. I grip the sink and bow my head, unable to look at myself.

  If I can slip up at a time like this and almost kiss Dakota, what’s going to happen after a week or two has passed. How the fuck am I supposed to fight wanting to kiss her then when no one is standing in our way?

  Growling out, I punch the mirror, the glass fracturing around my fist. I stand here for a few minutes, fighting to catch my breath and get my thoughts together, before walking out and leaving. I’m a piece of shit. I don’t deserve to be here.

  I jump into my truck and drive back to my apartment, quickly packing my bags before I can change my mind. I need time. I don’t know how much. I just know that me sticking around right now can’t be good for anyone, especially Dakota, and I’ll do anything to protect her, even if that includes leaving her.

  Dakota

  I walk inside and look around, my heart sinking when my gaze lands on Hope sitting at the bar talking to Mae. She offers me a small nod, before grabbing her drink and walking away.

  It’s been two days and she’s hardly spoken a word to me. After looking through the entire photo album multiple times, I can understand why. I wouldn’t talk to me either. It feels as if Quinn was just here with us. I don’t blame her for not being able to talk to me right now.

  “Hey.” Mae smiles and slides me a beer. “Where have you been? Haven’t seen you in days.”

  “Home,” I say softly, reaching for my beer. “Where’s my brother?”

  “By the pool tables with Stiles and Easton.”

  My heart sinks for the second time since walking through the door. I take a seat and try to play it cool. “A shot, please.”

  “Gotcha, babe.” Mae comes back seconds later with a shot and I slam it back, watching as my brother and Easton play a game of pool.

  The moment Easton notices I’m here, I order a second shot and slam it back, before turning my stool away, so I’m no longer facing his direction.

  If it weren’t for the fact that being stuck in my house has completely fucked me up, I wouldn’t be here right now. Especially now, knowing that Easton is here. I can’t even sleep in my bed, because it reminds me too much of what it felt like with Easton there. It’s starting to look like I can’t go anywhere without being reminded of him.

  Mae leans over the bar. “You okay, sweetie?”

  I nod and glance in Easton’s direction, my chest aching. “Yeah. I’m good.”

  I’m still at the bar talking to Mae when I notice Easton walk over to the Jukebox. Well, I don’t just notice him, I watch him like an idiot, unable to keep my eyes off him.

  He picks out a song and stands there for a few moments, before looking straight at me when I found by Amber Run begins playing.

  Listening to the words, I get lost in Easton’s stare, chills covering my entire body, my heart pumping faster with each word. I can’t breathe. I can’t move. I just sit here like a fool, watching him watch me.

  I don’t know if anyone is watching us. I can’t make myself turn away from Easton to see. I’m too lost in him. Lost in my emotions for him and lost in my need to have him. To kiss him. To hold him.

  It’s all too much.

  The moment the song is over, I stand up and toss some money down on the bar for Mae. “Tell everyone I had to run.”

  “Are you okay? What’s wrong?” Mae sounds concerned as she watches me watch Easton. I’m sure it’s obvious I’m having a hard time breathing right now. Not to mention that my hands are trembling.

  I look at her for a moment, unable to speak. I just need to get the hell out of here before anyone can see me have an emotional breakdown.

  “I’m not feeling well. I’ve gotta get out of here. I’ll see you later.” I turn away and escape through the exit.

  When I get outside, I walk to the side of the building and slam my back against it, needing a moment to compose myself and catch my breath. “Breathe, Dakota. Fucking breathe.”

  That song. That song was enough to make me break, and if I would’ve looked at Easton for one more second, I know what I would’ve done.

  I would’ve kissed him right there in front of everyone and told him I love him.

  Easton

  I flex my jaw, my heart pounding as Dakota walks out of the bar the moment the song ends, leaving me standing here, aching to touch her. The look of need in her eyes as she watched me from across the room moments ago only makes me want to pull her into my arms and kiss every fucking inch of her body to show her that she’s still mine.

  How in the hell am I supposed to just stand here as she walks away again? I can’t. Not after what we’ve been through. I need her. Always have. Always will.

  Turning around, I place both hands against the wall and lower my head, weighing my next move. If I stay, I don’t know when I’ll catch her alone again. If I go, she’ll push me away and probably hate me even more for following her.

  “Fuck it!”

  I push away from the wall and turn around to see Ben looking at me, his beer to his lips, ready to take a drink. He tilts the bottle back, eyes on me as if to warn me it’s a bad idea to go after her.

  I’ll take my chances.

  Once outside, I climb into my truck and drive off, looking closely for Dakota’s figure in the darkness. She couldn’t have gotten very far in the two minutes since she left. But then again… it’s Dakota Brooks. She probably took off running the moment she
stepped outside.

  She forgets that I know every route she takes. I know her mind almost as well as she does. When the alley comes into view, I turn down it, and sure enough, there she is, running in the rain, not slowing down even when I pull up beside her and roll down the window.

  “Kota, stop!” When she doesn’t, I jump out of my truck, slamming the door shut behind me to catch up with her. “Stop running and get in my truck before it starts pouring.” She keeps running, so I run faster, blocking her off before she can get too far from my truck. “Get. In.”

  She stops, her eyes locked on mine as she fights to catch her breath. “Why did you play that song?” She pushes my chest, attempting to move around me but fails. “You shouldn’t have done that and you know it. Why the hell did you?”

  “Because it’s the fucking truth.” I grab the back of her neck in both hands and force her to look at me. “Get in my truck. Now. I’m not leaving here without you.”

  “Fuck that, Easton. I can’t be around you right now. Not after you pulled that shit.” She yanks my arms away and looks at me through the rain, her body shivering now that it’s picked up. “Just go back to the bar before people start talking.”

  “I’ll stay out here all night, Kota. You fucking know me, so don’t test me.” I slide my jacket off and drape it over her shoulders. “Just get in my truck so I can drive you home before you get sick.”

  She stares at me for a moment, not moving a muscle or speaking, before she finally turns and walks to my truck. I wait until she slams the door behind her before I jump in and head for her house.

  “Why did you come back?” I glance over to see her looking out the window, but she turns to face me before speaking again. “Why after three years did you have to show back up and mess with my head?”

  My stomach twists into knots, reminding me of how lonely and lost I felt before arriving back in town. I was barely getting by, unable to sleep at night because thoughts of her kept me tossing and turning.

  “Because I missed you.” I park in front of her house and kill the engine, turning to face her. She looks somewhat surprised by my confession. “I couldn’t go another fucking day without seeing you. That’s why I’m here. And all you’ve done since I’ve been back is push me away.”

  “What did you expect, Easton?” She sits up straight, her heated gaze meeting mine as she throws her seatbelt off. “You broke my heart when you left. I haven’t heard from you in three years; not a phone call or a text. Nothing. Then you show up as if you never left to begin with. What am I supposed to do with all the pain and hate that’s been eating me up inside since the day you abandoned us? How am I supposed to look at you when I hate and need you at the same time? Tell me why.”

  I grab her face and pull her to me. “I left because I had to.”

  “That doesn’t tell me shit. You had to? That’s it?” She shoves my hands away and climbs out of my truck, slamming the door shut behind her.

  “Fuck!” I jump out after her, following her up the porch steps and placing my hand on the door before she can shut me out like she did the last time. “I don’t think so. I’m done letting you run from me.”

  She gives me a surprised look when I shut the door behind me and lock it. “Really, Easton? You want to do this right now?”

  I flex my jaw and turn away, needing a moment. When I turn back around, Dakota is looking at me with need, her chest quickly rising and falling as if she can’t figure out if she wants to slap or kiss me. I’ll take anything she’ll give me at this point. I just want her.

  “Fuck you, Easton,” she pants. “Fuck you for leaving me when I needed you the most.”

  “Dammit, Kota.” I back her against the door and grip her waist, pressing my body flush with hers. A breath escapes her when I slide my hands up her body and into the back of her damp hair. Before speaking, I lean in, so my lips are inches from hers. “I didn’t want to leave you. I never wanted to leave you. That’s the truth.”

  “But you did,” she whispers angrily, her breath hitting my lips. “You can’t take that back. And it hurt like hell.” Her bottom lip quivers, her emotions getting the best of her. I hate so much that I hurt her.

  “You don’t think I know that? That it doesn’t hurt me every fucking day that I left you? It killed me to be away from you. Still does.” I brush my lips over hers, feeling her breath come out quicker. “Stop hating me and give into us. Tell me that you want me just as badly as I want you.”

  “I don’t want you. Not right now.” Her words shatter my heart, and I take a step back, feeling as if I’m suffocating. It hurts to breathe, my lungs burning with each attempt. She shakes her head. “I need you to go. I just need you to walk away. For both of us.”

  “You don’t mean that, Kota.” I reach out to grab her face, but she moves before I make contact. “You really want me to leave?”

  “Yes,” she breathes unsteadily, her eyes void of emotion. “Walk away, Easton. Just like you did three years ago.”

  I feel numb as she turns and walks away. I stand here for a while, unable to move, and hoping that she’ll walk back out of her room and tell me she was lying, that she does want me, but she doesn’t. With my hands in my hair, I turn and walk outside, just like she asked me to. I jump into my truck and drive to my shitty hotel and drink myself to sleep.

  Dakota

  My pulse quickens as I climb out of my car and look around the parking lot. I shouldn’t be here right now, knowing that Easton is racing tonight. My head was screaming at me to stay away, but like a love-sick puppy, here I am anyway, needing to get just a small glimpse of Easton Crews—the man I shouldn’t be in love with.

  At least this way, I’ll be able to leave before he gets a chance to get close to me and magically break down my walls just like he did when he first got here two weeks ago. This is the best and only option for both of us right now. As much as it kills me—and it does—I just don’t know what else to do right now. Not after seeing Hope’s reaction. It was just as I expected, and I’m not sure I can handle that same reaction from my brother, or worse, my parents.

  I look to my right to see my brother hurrying over to help me with the pizzas when I hear someone jogging toward me. “About time you showed up.” He grabs the first stack of pizza boxes from me when I pull them from the backseat. “The race starts in a few minutes. I don’t want to miss a second of Easton kicking Ben’s ass again. It’s going to be brutal.”

  I get a handle on the other four pizza boxes and slam the car door shut with my hip. Truthfully, I’m a little nervous of how Ben will react if Easton wins again. With the way things have been going the past two weeks, I’m sure all he needs is a small push for him to explode. It’s bad enough that things between Hope and I have been strained since the night she caught me with Easton. I don’t need Ben telling the entire world. Not until I figure things out.

  “Everything okay?” Roman gives me a concerned look as we head for the gate. “You look like you’re about to get sick or some shit.”

  I swallow and nod my head. “Everything is fine. Stop looking at me like that and pay attention to the pizza before you lose all the toppings.”

  He stops looking at me to look down at the boxes stacked in his hands that he’s tilting sideways. “Eh. It’s all good. Everyone will still eat them.” He straightens the boxes and speeds up when Stiles begins speaking into his megaphone. “Shit. Put a pep in your step, baby sis. The race is starting.”

  I growl at him and walk faster, my heart already speeding up, and my palms becoming sweaty the closer we get to the track. The sound of the racers revving their bikes has me feeling sick, reminding me of the night I discovered Easton was back in town. That nausea intensifies the moment we walk through the second gate, my eyes landing on Easton on the track.

  Like last time, he’s dressed in a pair of jeans and a leather jacket, while Ben and the other racers are dressed in racing leathers. “Damn you, Easton,” I whisper, my heart aching for him.

 
“What was that?” Roman yells over the engines.

  “Nothing.” I set the pizza boxes down and turn around to get a look at our normal seats. My heart sinks when I notice Hope isn’t here. “Where’s Hope?”

  “She isn’t feeling good tonight. I told her I’d message her the winner. Come on.” He grabs my arm and practically pulls me to our seats right as Stiles stops babbling and signals for the race to start.

  All five racers take off, Easton immediately taking the lead. I can’t pull my eyes away from him as I sit down beside my brother and Stiles to watch.

  “Pizza?” Stiles shoves a slice of bacon pizza in my face and I push it away, unable to stomach eating right now. He shrugs. “All right. Whatever. More for me.”

  I haven’t moved in five laps, my hands gripping the bench below me as Ben struggles with passing Easton. You can tell he’s getting pissed from the way he’s riding, and it has my nerves shot.

  “What’s up with you?” Roman asks from my right. “You’ve been tense since you got here, and from what I could tell, Hope seemed just as tense when I saw her earlier. You two fighting?”

  I shake my head and pull my hair into a ponytail. “Just watch the race, Roman. I can take care of myself.”

  “Whatever. Don’t be pissy at me for being concerned about you.” He turns away and goes back to watching the race, and so do I. Ben takes the lead for a short two laps before Easton passes him again.

  My breathing picks up, my adrenaline spiking when Ben and Easton get a little too close for comfort. Easton looks to be zoned in on the track while Ben seems to be all over the place, getting close to Easton every so often. It’s not like Ben to get so close to the other racers.

  “What the hell is he doing?” I yell, standing up when Ben’s front tire almost hits Easton’s back one.

  “I don’t know, but the asshole better get his shit under control.” My brother stands up too, his jaw flexing as he watches Ben. “Back the fuck off, Logan!”