Where We Belong: Love Returns

by Melissa Tereze

  Where We belong

  Love Returns

  Melissa Tereze

  MELISSA TEREZE

  WHERE WE BELONG

  Copyright © 2018, Melissa Campbell

  Self Published

  Twitter: @MelissaC_Author

  Subscribe: www.melissaterezeauthor.com

  All Rights Reserved

  No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, stored in a database and/or published in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without prior written permission of the publisher.

  This is a work of fiction. All characters and happenings in this publication are fictitious and any resemblance to real persons living or dead, locales or events is purely coincidental.

  WARNING: This title contains graphic language and explicit scenes.

  For you, Lee.

  You’ve seen me through the hardest times…

  CONTENTS

  Prologue

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Prologue

  Mati

  “Hey, I’m home.”

  Breathing a sigh of relief when Olivia walks through the door, I stand and shift from left to right. Today went well and I know she is going to be beside herself with excitement. How can she not be? We have the opportunity to change up our life together. Try something new. Someplace different.

  “Oh, I’m sorry.” She gives me a sympathetic smile, taking my awkward excitement for disappointment. “It didn’t work out, huh?”

  “What? No.” I laugh. “It worked out perfectly, Liv. They loved me. They want me in London by the end of next month.”

  “W-Wow.” My girlfriend's eyes widen. “Incredible.”

  “We’ve got this, Liv.” I close the distance between us. “We’ve so got this.”

  “Y-Yeah, uh…” Her brow furrowed, something feels off. “…about that.”

  “About what?” I step back, creating a little space between us. “Huh?”

  “London, I mean…I’m thrilled for you, but it’s not what I want. I thought I did, I just..."”

  I don’t understand. What is Olivia saying? She wanted this with me. She pushed me to go for the job. She told me it would be good for us. Now she’s backing out? Now she’s changed her mind?

  “You don’t want it?” My shoulders slump, emotion evident in my voice. “We decided this together. I-I…”

  "I’m sorry.” Stepping closer to me, Olivia's perfume envelops me and I drop my gaze. I want to walk away and leave her to think about it, but I can’t. I love her too much. “Mati, you have an amazing opportunity to go and do something…make something of yourself.”

  “O…kay.”

  “You know I love having you with me, but you should take this job. You should give yourself the chance to have the career you’ve always wanted. The company who want you are so much more than I am right now.”

  “But I wanted that career to be with you…”

  “I know.” Olivia’s voice breaks. “I know and I’m sorry.”

  “You’re sorry?” I scoff. “For what? Practically pushing me away, or crushing my dreams?”

  “Huh?”

  “I can’t have London without you.” My voice breaks. “I mean, I could go there and we could do long-distance but I don’t want us to be that way. I couldn’t do it.”

  “I don’t want long distance, either.” She sighs.

  “So, what?” I ask. “I’m supposed to choose?”

  “I’d never ask you to choose.” Olivia takes my hands, squeezing them tight. “I’m telling you to go. Take London. Be amazing.”

  “N-No.” Tears fall freely from my eyes. “No, I can’t.”

  “You can…and you should.” She pulls me in close. “I know how much it means to you. I know how much you wanted that contract.”

  “But it’s for a year. M-Maybe longer if it all goes to plan.” I sob into my girlfriend's chest. “A year, Liv.”

  “I know.” Her voice soft, it’s soothing.

  I need to think this through. I need to figure out how we are supposed to do the long-distance relationship part. The part we both agreed wouldn’t happen and couldn’t possibly work. We’re too close for that. We’re too addicted to one another to do a long-distance relationship. At least, I thought we were. I thought we couldn’t be broken but something tells me that’s about to change.

  “Olivia.” I step back, brushing the tears from my damp cheeks. “What are we supposed to do?”

  “You go to London, Mati.” She gives me a knowing look, her voice certain. “You be the photographer you’ve always wanted to be. I know how much it matters…”

  “But you matter more.”

  “Baby…” Her thumb trails my cheek. “I know just how incredible you can be given the right opportunity. You have that opportunity now and you would be a fool to let it go.”

  “Y-You’re breaking up with me, right?”

  “You know I don’t want this.” Olivia cries, tears trickling from those deep brown eyes. “You know how much I love you…”

  “Y-Yeah.” My eyes close as I nod slowly, my body beginning to feel like a dead weight. “Just…not enough.”

  Chapter One

  Mati

  The fall. It’s here.

  There is nothing quite as beautiful as enjoying coffee as the fall sets in around me. That earthiness in the air, the sound of the crisp leaves crunching beneath my feet. It’s something special and my favorite season. My favorite smell. Cozy. Warm and settled with some hearty soup. Everything about the fall is what I look forward to when it’s coming to an end each year, but it’s finally here. It’s here and I’m about to experience it in a different place. A different country. London, to be exact.

  I don’t quite know how I feel about London right now. It’s beautiful and ideal for the camera constantly attached to my hand, but I’m not sure it’s my place yet. I’m not sure I’ve quite found my way. Of course, that will take time. I know that nothing happens overnight, but it’s been six months since I arrived here, and I still feel lost. I still feel like I’m not where I should be. Maybe I never will. Maybe Chicago will always be my home and I’m simply visiting London. I don’t know.

  I’d like to believe that I’ve got everything under control here, but I haven’t. I love my job and I love the British people, but I also love my people back home. My family. My friends. The people who mean the most to me. Those who I can call when I need them. Those that I can count on if I show up at their place. I don’t have that here. I don’t have anyone close by who I can turn to right now. In time, I’ll find that. In time, I’ll forget about the life I left behind and move forward.

  I should move forward.

  Sipping my coffee, I set my cup down in front of me and glance up to find my girlfriend, Ana, approaching me. She’s sweet and she’s great company, but I’m not sure I’m all in with her. I’d like to be, but other things are on my mind. Other people. Old flames.

  “Hi, You.” Ana leans in, her lips pressing against my own. “Good day?”

  “Awesome, yeah.”

  “So, tonight?” Ana raises her eyebrow. “We still hav
e plans, right?”

  “Of course.” My lips curl into a smile. “I’m yet to discover all there is to know about London.”

  “Stick with me, gorgeous.” She winks. “I know all there is to know.”

  “Then I will take your word for it.” Lifting my cup, Ana watches me, her eyes soft as they trail my face. “Can I get you some coffee?”

  “As much as I’d love to stay here with you, I have to get back to work.”

  “Right, yeah.” I nod, the realization that I’m about to be alone again settling within me. “You’ll call me with the details for tonight?”

  “Mmhmm.” Ana stands. “I really have to go. My manager is a dick.”

  “I’ll see you tonight.” Standing and leaning in, I press a kiss below my girlfriend’s ear. “If anything changes, just let me know.”

  “It won’t,” Ana says with a certainty in her voice. “Tonight…is our night.” Giving me one final smile, she turns on her heel and disappears through the lunchtime crowd, her blonde hair falling beautifully down her back.

  Ana has been great, she really has. I just don’t think she is my type. I want to head into the unknown with her, but I’m worried. Scared, even. I’m still in love with my ex and every time Ana kisses me…Olivia is the one I see. I know this is all totally wrong, but it’s the truth. I want to be honest with my girlfriend, but I don’t want to hurt her. I don’t want to lose her completely.

  I know this will only result in hurt down the line, but I’m trying. I’m trying to remove all thoughts of Olivia from my mind…but I still fall asleep each night thinking about her. About what we once shared. A life. A love. Happiness and commitment. Then our lives took a different direction and I lost her. I lost her to the US. Our home…Chicago.

  Yes, I could’ve stayed and yes, I wanted to, but it was my career on the line and she told me to go. She told me she wanted to see me thrive. Live my best life. I thought I’d made the right decision, but I’ve regretted it since the moment I stepped on that plane. I regret it and I’ve lost her completely. She doesn’t call. She doesn’t email. Nothing. She gives me nothing.

  I know I hurt Olivia when I chose to leave, but she was supposed to come with me. We were supposed to build a life here in London but that didn’t happen. It breaks my heart every time I think about her but we both decided that long distance couldn’t and wouldn’t work. We both decided to call it a day, and now I’m here…and she is there. In the states. Back home with her mom in Los Angeles. I never wanted us to live separate lives, but Olivia was right. She was right when she told me that it would be too hard. The distance. The time zones. She was right…and I hate it.

  I hate everything my life became some six months ago. I had it all. I had an incredible relationship and I had the love I knew would satisfy me for the rest of my life. Yes, I have to follow the work…but is my career enough for me? No. No, it’s not. It will never be enough for me. Olivia. Olivia was everything to me. She always will be. Yes, we don’t talk anymore and yes, I’m mad at her for choosing to stay back home, but she knew what was best for her and that clearly wasn’t me. I guess I’ve come to terms with that. The loss of her from my life.

  God, I wish she had chosen this life with me.

  I wish she had shown up here and just fallen into my arms. Like we did every night when we arrived home. It’s what I miss the most. Her connection. Her arms holding me securely as she pressed a kiss to the side of my head. I miss everything about Olivia, but our time came to an end and I must accept that.

  I must accept that regardless of how I feel, she doesn’t feel the same. My ex chose the US and I came here. To London. A new start. A new start that should include Olivia but doesn’t. She was my best friend. She was the one person I could count on no matter the problem. She was my world.

  So, I move on. I build a relationship with Ana and hope that I can be happy. Hope that we can be happy. She deserves that. Ana deserves my full attention and to provide that, I have to get out of my own head. It isn’t healthy and it isn’t clever. The more time I spend in my head, the more chance there is that I’ll end up alone.

  Ana is right. Tonight is our night. We have only been dating for three weeks, but tonight could be good for me. For us. Nobody has touched me since I left Chicago so maybe I need to feel that human connection. The intimacy. That high from another woman. Maybe I need to let go and stop being so freaking uptight about my life and everything it involves.

  Maybe it’s time to fall in love all over again.

  ***

  Okay, I’m ready.

  I’m ready to finally let my hair down and just go with it. What harm could it possibly do? What hurt could possibly come from moving on and living my life? None. At least, that is what I’ve been telling myself for the last two hours. At one point, it was nothing short of a mantra.

  I’ve got this. I know I have.

  That is a complete lie, but I’m going with it. I just want to be happy. I just want to find my feet here in London and live my life to the fullest. How freaking hard can that be? Seriously? God, I’m driving myself insane. My room-mate has tried to reassure me, but I feel like I’m cheating. I feel like the moment I fall into bed with Ana, Olivia and I are truly over.

  Who am I kidding? We’re already over.

  We have been for six months and the sooner I realize that the sooner I can move on with my life. Olivia will be dating, I know she will. She is too gorgeous to sit at home alone. She is too sweet and perfect to spend her life alone.

  I just wish she had come to me. I just wish she had taken a flight here and held me. Told me that she loves me and wants her future to be with me. Just like it was supposed to be. Honestly, I thought we would be together forever. It just felt that way. It felt good and real. Authentic. Nothing about our relationship felt false or broken. Olivia and I were perfect together. So much so that it breaks my heart.

  “Mati?” Beth, my room-mate knocks lightly on my door.

  “I’ll be out in five.”

  “Just…someone is here asking for you.”

  “Ana?” I ask. “I’m meeting her at the bar.”

  “No, a brunette,” Beth replies through the hardwood door separating us.

  “I don’t know a brunette that would be here looking for me.” My forehead crinkling, I fix my dress a little better on my thighs and blow out a deep breath.

  “Mats?”

  Huh?

  I know that voice. I would know that voice anywhere. Not just because I’ve craved that voice since I arrived here, but because of the distinct American accent. An accent I’ve missed. An accent that makes me feel at home. An accent that belongs to Olivia.

  “Y-You in there?” Her voice raspy, I place the palm of my hand flat against the door and try to maintain my composure. I can feel myself unraveling. I can feel myself about to break down. “Mati?”

  “W-Who is it?”

  Really? She knows you know who she is. Asshole!

  “It’s me…L-Liv.”

  Steadying my shaking hand as I remove it from the wood, I step back and take a breath. I’ve thought about Olivia since the moment I left but now she’s here. Why? How can she just show up in London without a word beforehand? Pulling the door open, it’s true. Olivia Miller is standing in front of me, that familiar freckle below her left eye catching my attention.

  “I-I, uh…” My brow furrowing, I shake my head slightly, lost for words.

  “Hey, Mati.” She gives me one of her full, enticing smiles. “You look good.”

  “I don’t understand…”

  “It’s so good to see you.” Glancing over my exes shoulder, Beth is looking at me with confusion.

  “Could you give me a minute, Beth?”

  “Sure, yeah.” She throws her thumb over her shoulder. “Catch you later.”

  My eyes returning to the dark, elegant woman in front of me, I step back a little as my heart tightens in my chest. Breathe. Just breathe. I don’t have any words for her. I don’t know where to e
ven begin with a conversation. There is simply nothing to say.

  “Can I come in?” Olivia arches one of her perfectly defined eyebrows. “I’m sure you’re busy, but I flew all the way here to see you so I’m sure you can spare five minutes.”

  “Actually, I can’t.” This is bullshit. She cannot just turn up at my door six months later and expect me to stop everything for her. It doesn’t work that way. “I have plans.” Taking my purse from my bed, I turn back to face my ex, a sadness settling in her deep brown eyes. “You should’ve called.”

  “I wanted to surprise you.” Olivia steps a little closer to me and attempts to take my hand in her own. “I missed you.”

  “Yeah, I’m not doing this with you.” I pull out of her touch. “You can’t show up after six months and claim that this is a surprise.”

  “Hey, Mats.” She gives me a sad smile. “Please, just five?”

  “No.” I disagree. “You can’t do this. You can’t demand attention from me when you have avoided my calls.”

  “I have things to explain.”

  “I don’t wanna hear it.” I hold my hand up between us. “I don’t need to hear it.”

  “I’m not tied to a contract right now.” Olivia studies my face.

  “So?”

  “So, I could stay.” She clears her throat. “Here…with you.”

  “You know, I’ve spent every moment here pretending that I understood your reasons for not coming to London with me. You just…you left. You told me you didn’t want this, and you left. No word. Just…nothing.”

  “I’m sorry.” Her gaze drops between us. “I wanted to call. Every day.”

  “But you didn’t.” I sigh. “You can’t have wanted to that much if you didn’t bother to pick up your freaking cell and call.”

  “I owe you an explanation.” I can hear the pleading in Olivia’s voice but I’m not doing this with her right now. I have plans. With my girlfriend. If my ex wants to hang around for a few days, I will talk to her. When I’m ready. In my own time. I need to process the fact that she is even here and I cannot do that with her in my space. I cannot do that when she is looking at me the way she used to. I just can’t.