Fighting Silence

by Aly Martinez

  “Start by telling me whose blood you were wearing tonight. I don’t need details, but you have to let me know if I have to testify that you were with me all night. I’m a terrible liar.” I raked my nails down his back.

  “Some guy named Frankie,” he answered weakly.

  Our bodies were tangled together. As I stiffened, he became pliable, wrapping around me. Yin and yang. I took the strength he feebly offered. And he held me tight enough to transfer it through mere contact.

  “Is he dead?” I finally found the words, but I’d never wanted an answer less.

  “No. But my father might be.”

  “Oh, God.” A sob caught in my throat.

  “Don’t waste one fucking tear on that asshole. I tried to protect him, but he turned on me. He threw me to the fucking wolves!” he exclaimed without ever raising his voice.

  His eyes were filled with rage, but it was more than that. He was hurt . . . and disappointed . . . and abandoned. I was devastated just watching the myriad of emotions pass over his strong face.

  “You really think he’s dead?”

  “Unfortunately, no. He’s probably still breathing. But he’s dead to me all the same.”

  I eyed him warily, unsure how to react to this news. It was obvious he didn’t want to talk about it. But here was always one thing that worked for us. Humor.

  “Okay. If the cops come calling, you were with me all night. I haven’t left this apartment since noon. You came in the window soon after. We ate leftover spaghetti then watched Dancing With the Stars. We had sex—you came, I didn’t.”

  He began to laugh, burying his head in my neck.

  “Then you sang me hymns to combat my newfound insomnia.”

  “Hymns? Really, Doodle? Shit. I’m going to jail for life,” he complained before grabbing my ass.

  “Hey. Hands!” I halfheartedly slapped his hand.

  “Sorry. I needed one last taste of a woman before I’m checking out asses every time soap is dropped in the shower.”

  I burst into laughter and tears at the same time.

  “Shhhh. I’m kidding. I’m not going to jail. Bad guys don’t rat out other bad guys to the cops.”

  “Are you sure?” I asked, staring up through my lashes into his gold-flecked eyes.

  “Positive.” He smiled and brushed the hair from my face.

  “I’ve really missed you,” I boldly confessed.

  His eyes warmed as emotion made its way from under his tough exterior. “I’ve missed you too. I’m sorry I ruined us.”

  “Hey, you didn’t ruin us. In the morning, we just go back to being friends. We’re good at that. The past is done. Just friends from here on out. Tomorrow starts real life . . . together. I’m going to help you find an apartment. You need to get out of your parents,’ and we can meet here every night just like the old place. Only this time, I’ll bring the power and you bring the food.” I smiled.

  “You think we can do friends again?” He looked downright hopeful as he asked.

  “Not if you don’t get out of my bed and stop grabbing my ass. You can sleep on my couch until you find a place. Okay?”

  “Yeah. Thanks.”

  “Hey, when was the last time you saw a doctor about your hearing?” I asked, causing him to groan.

  “About three years ago,” he said as he rolled out of bed and headed for the window.

  “You need to get that checked out, Till.”

  “Yeah, I know,” he called over his shoulder as he climbed outside.

  “I’m serious. That’s not something to play around with. Maybe the specialist could do something to prevent it. You never know until you ask.”

  “I’ll make an appointment. I swear,” he lied, but I had to let it go.

  I couldn’t force him into a doctor’s office no matter how much this new revelation worried me.

  “Where are you going?” I asked.

  “To lock up my truck. There was a crazy woman who left the door standing wide open earlier.” He flashed me a smile.

  “You know I have a door, right?”

  He barked out a laugh. “Yeah, I know, Doodle.”

  “Umm . . . then why don’t you use it?”

  He stared at me for a few seconds from outside my window before finally answering, “Because I’m afraid it would change everything.”

  “It’s a door, Till. I’m relatively sure the sheer magnitude of you walking through it wouldn’t knock the Earth out of orbit.”

  “Maybe not, but I need you too damn bad to chance it,” he said, and it forced the smile to fall from my face. “I decided a long time ago that the window at the old apartment was some kind of portal to a whole other dimension. One where life was easy and people like you existed. I used to think that, if I came in the door, you’d be gone. We might be starting in the real world together, but I’m still not ready to let go of the fantasy.”

  “Till,” I breathed when further words failed me.

  “Yeah. Anyway. I’ll be right back. Leave this open for me, okay?” He winked before walking away.

  Thankfully, I was never kidnapped or robbed, because from that day forward, I never once locked my window. And no matter how ridiculous it was, I smiled daily when Till came climbing through it.

  I STAYED AT ELIZA’S APARTMENT for a few weeks. It was the best possible feeling, having her around all the time again, but I felt like a worthless dick sleeping on her couch. I spent what little money I had on food to at least make it look like I was helping out, but she still cooked me dinner every night.

  Going back to being friends wasn’t nearly as hard as I’d worried it would be. Was I still attracted to her? Absolutely. But keeping her in my life meant not acting on it. Our new relationship only vaguely resembled the old one. Gone were the hours spent cuddling or lying in her lap. Before we’d had sex, I’d touched Eliza all the time. There had been nothing to read into from those forehead kisses and innocent moments spent holding each other. But now, I knew her body, so every brush of our skin reminded me what it felt like to have her naked underneath me. Neither of us could deny that the spark was there; we just had to avoid it. I’d only actually had her for one night, but my hands ached to touch her as if it were the norm.

  Those first few weeks killed me. Life carried on though. I got word that my father had landed himself in jail after the police had found him bloody and beaten that night. His pockets were apparently filled with meth, so he was slapped with several possession charges, earning himself an extended vacation at the prison. I didn’t give a damn if it was a life sentence though. He was dead to me. I told Eliza bits and pieces of the night, but as a whole, I just tried to put it out of my mind.

  One day, as I was coming home from work, I saw two guys fumbling a bed down the stairs from above Eliza’s apartment.

  “Hey, you need a hand?” I jogged over to catch the mattress just before it fell over the railing.

  “Shit. Thanks, man,” the short guy groaned as we carried it the rest of the way to a truck.

  “Damn. That was heavier than it looked.” The taller of the two cracked his neck as I pushed it with one hand to wedge it between the two dressers.

  I laughed and headed back toward Eliza’s apartment, but he stopped me only a few steps away.

  “Big man, wait! You wanna make a quick fifty bucks?”

  Money.

  “Whatcha got in mind?” I asked as I turned to face him.

  “I got to get on the road in, like, an hour, and there is no way the two of us are going to be able to get some of that shit down the stairs.”

  “One hour? Fifty bucks?” I could definitely use the cash, and if I got to combine that with a workout of hauling all his stuff down, I wouldn’t complain.

  “That’s the offer.”

  “All right. Half now. Half when I finish.” I crossed my arms over my chest.

  He dug in his pockets, pulling out a wad of bills. “What’s your name?” he asked, handing the money over.

  “Till.�
�

  “I’m Daniel. That’s Scott. Follow me, Till. Let’s get this knocked out so I can get the hell out of here.”

  Forty minutes later, I was carrying the last box down to his truck. He didn’t have much, so it didn’t take me long, but it would have taken those two forever. It turned out Scott was staying in the apartment, but Daniel was moving to Wisconsin to be with some girl he met online. Scott gave him an endless amount of shit about it too. It was hilarious listening to them go back and forth. They both seemed like good guys.

  “I am out of here!” Daniel said, bumping fists with Scott. “Hey, please try to find someone to take my room. I can’t afford to carry this place more than another month.”

  My head snapped to Scott. “You looking for a roommate?”

  “I am now that this asshole is taking off on me to move in with his mail-order bride. Why? You looking for a place?”

  “Yes!” I jumped forward a little too enthusiastically. “I applied here, but they didn’t have anything available. They put me on a twelve-mile-long wait list, but I really can’t afford anything else I looked at.”

  Daniel glanced over at Scott, who shrugged.

  “You got a job?” Scott asked.

  “Two.”

  “You a partier?”

  “Nope. I work, go to the gym, then sleep.”

  “Rent’s five fifty a month. So you’d need to have two twenty-five in cash by the first of every month. If you’re late, it’s an extra hundred bucks. All the bills get split right down the middle. No exceptions.”

  “I’m cool with that,” I said quickly as I began to get even more excited. That was a hundred bucks cheaper than what I’d thought I was going to have to spend to get my own place.

  “Well, okay, then. I know you saw the bedroom, but you want to go up and take a look around the rest of the apartment?”

  “Yeah, definitely!” I answered, even though, there wasn’t a chance in hell that anything I could see would prevent me from signing a lease. I needed a place.

  “I’m gonna take off. Let me know if this works out. Thanks again for your help, Till.” Daniel pulled out the other half of the money he owed me and passed it with a handshake.

  “No problem. Any time.” I tucked the cash in my pocket and turned back to Scott. “Let’s go check it out.”

  “Sure. Have a good trip,” he called to Daniel over his shoulder as he headed up the stairs.

  I followed behind him, hiding the smile that was working its way onto my face regardless how hard I tried to fight it.

  “I work nights and sleep during the day, so you won’t see me much. I’ve got a girl who lives across town, so I stay over there sometimes on the weekends.”

  We walked through the door, and he immediately stilled as we were greeted with loud music blasting through the floorboards.

  “Shit. She must be at home. Okay, so maybe this is a good thing.” He let out a huff that showed me that what he was about to say was anything but good. “Look, the only catch to this place is that the building is shit. I swear I think the floors are made out of tissue boxes. You can hear everything that goes on in the apartment downstairs. It’s a real nice girl who lives there, but her taste in music is almost criminal. She treats us to Justin Timberlake at least once a day. I got pissed when we first moved in. I went down to bitch that her music was too loud, but I swear to you it was louder in our place than it was in hers, so after talking to her, I just let it go. It didn’t hurt that she’s sexy as fuck.” He winked.

  My eyebrows popped up in surprise. She was sexy. He at least got that part right.

  She was also mine.

  He continued. “I’m not home enough for it to bother me, but your room would be right over hers. The bad news is you’re able to hear every single sound she makes. However, the good news is that you’re able to hear every single sound she makes.” He finished with another wink, and my self-restraint that day must have been aligned with Mother Teresa because my hand remained fisted at my side and not in his mouth.

  “When can I move in?” I gritted through a fake smile.

  “You don’t want to look around first?”

  “Nope. I’ll take it. How much do I owe you for this month?” I had two hundred dollars to my name, and that included the fifty bucks in my pocket. There were three weeks left in the month, but I got paid in two days. I could swing the rent as long as I ate at the gym every day.

  “Just give me two twenty-five when you move in. Daniel already paid this month’s rent, so you can ride out his dollar this month, and I’ll use your first payment to cover next month.”

  I blinked at him and my smile broke free—big time. “Yeah. I can do that,” I answered.

  “All right. Welcome home, Till. I’ll get the sublet form for you to sign.” He extended a hand to seal the deal, and I couldn’t shake it fast enough.

  Eliza chose just that moment to start singing at the top of her lungs. A smile instantly spread across my lips as I listened to her less-than-stellar solo performance.

  Yeah. Welcome home, Till.

  “Can you give me just a second?” I excused myself and hauled ass down the stairs and around to the side of the building.

  I shoved her window open and then crawled inside, rushing through her small apartment to find her. She was standing in the kitchen, singing and shaking her ass, but her head was down as her hand was moving over a sketchpad.

  I leaned against the wall for a few seconds, watching the show she was unknowingly putting on. I tried not to envision her body naked as she moved with the rhythm of the music. Her breasts swayed with her hips, and just knowing that the fucking freckle was swaying too was more than enough to stir my cock to life.

  “Shit!” she screamed when she finally noticed me standing in the hallway. “Damn it, Till,” she cursed, trying to catch her breath.

  “Come here for a second.” I grabbed her hand and dragged her to bedroom, but not for the horizontal purposes I truly wanted. “Wait right here.” I headed for the window, clicking her music off before I climbed out.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Just wait.” I smiled then jogged toward the stairs.

  I threw the front door to my new apartment open and then rushed right past Scott. Once I entered my new bedroom, I stared at the stained-carpeted floor.

  “Doodle!” I yelled unnecessarily loud.

  “Uh, Till? What are you doing?”

  I wasn’t sure how much she could hear, but her voice hit my weak ears as if she were standing only a few feet away. It was clear that I would, in fact, be able to hear everything.

  “Oh, nothing much. Just chilling in my new apartment.” I played off my excitement, but her squeal let me know she wasn’t even trying to hide it.

  “I’m coming up!” she yelled.

  I rushed to the front door to meet her. Scott watched from the couch as I snatched the door open. It didn’t take but a second for her to come plowing through it.

  “Are you serious?” She laughed as happy tears glistened in her eyes.

  “Completely,” I confirmed, which caused her to launch herself into my arms.

  God, it felt good as she wrapped her legs around my waist. She laughed loudly into my ear, and I couldn’t help but join her.

  I glanced over at Scott, who had the good sense to look surprised, and even a little embarrassed, as he watched me hold her tight. I gave him a pointed look when I remembered his comments about Eliza from earlier. The last thing I needed to do was get into an argument with him before I even signed the lease. But thankfully, he immediately lifted his hands in surrender and mouthed, “Sorry.”

  I lifted my chin in his direction then went back to holding her.

  “You’re going to live upstairs!” she exclaimed, sliding her feet to the ground and stepping away all too soon. “I want to see your room.”

  I led her down the hall to the small, empty room that would just fit the bed and a dresser I didn’t have.

  “It’s on
ly two twenty-five a month. I shouldn’t have any trouble affording it.” I leaned against the doorframe as she looked around.

  “What if he’s a weirdo?” she whispered.

  “Who?”

  “Your roommate. I met him once, but I can’t swear he’s not a serial killer.”

  “I think I’ll be okay. His name’s Scott and he seems nice enough. I’ve been over here for an hour or so. Daniel gave me fifty bucks to help him move out.”

  “So that’s what it was! I heard something going on up here.”

  Just then, something started beeping. We both looked around the room, trying to find the source, but came up empty. When we left the room, the sound grew louder as we got closer to the kitchen.

  “What is that?” Eliza asked.

  Luckily, Scott was there to answer. “Your oven timer.”

  “My oven timer? No way. It’s barely that loud in my apartment.”

  “Way. We can hear pretty much everything through the floor.”

  Eliza’s eyes grew wide.

  “Wait. You can hear us too, right?” Scott asked.

  “Well, I mean, yeah. I guess. I just assumed you were really loud.”

  “Nope. Just cheap floors.” He shrugged. “So . . . whatcha cooking?” he asked with a smile.

  “Oh shit! My pizza.” Eliza bolted to the door, and I followed because . . . well, pizza sounded good.

  She ran inside through her front door, and I went around to her window.

  “So, what do you think?” I asked, pushing myself up to sit next to the oven.

  “I think you need to get your ass off my counter and we’re both lucky that I didn’t burn dinner, but mostly, I think it’s really exciting that you’re going to be living upstairs.” She blew her hair out of her eyes and set the pizza on top of the stove.

  I smiled and swiped a pepperoni off the top, burning the shit out of my mouth as I popped it in. “Damn, that’s hot,” I mumbled, blowing around it.

  “Genius. You just watched me pull it out of the oven. Were you expecting it to be cold?”

  “No, I was just hungry. Oh, that reminds me.” I jumped off the counter and pulled a twenty from my pocket. “Use this for food.”