Kilts and Lies

by K A Belle

  Nik lived in an older working-class neighborhood pretty much like the one I'd grown up in, only the houses were smaller in Nik's. Which made sense considering there was only one of him and there had been seven in the Campbell clan. The homes were well-kept, and all had desert landscaping that was common in the southwest.

  I parked in the driveway behind Nik's car. On my way to the front door I encountered a fat, lazy tabby cat lying in the middle of the walkway. The little shit opened its eyes and glared at me as if saying, “I was here first so fuck you. Go around, hooman.”

  I stepped over the furball hoping it wouldn’t decide to take advantage of my kilt and swipe at my vulnerable legs with its sharp claws, or worse, my balls. It didn’t, thank Jeebus. I was still snickering about the cat when I knocked on the door.

  Nik opened the door a few minutes later. His smile matched mine. I pointed a thumb over my shoulder and said, “Don’t take this the wrong way. Is your cat always an asshole or was it just me?”

  Nik cocked his head looking utterly confused. “I don’t have a cat.”

  I turned to look at the feline who’d rolled to its other side and was watching me and Nik. “That fat ball of arrogance doesn’t belong to you?”

  Nik leaned around me to see who I was talking about. “Oh, that’s Brutus, my next-door neighbor’s cat, and yeah, he’s pretty much a dick.” He stepped back from the door. “Want to come in for a few minutes? I’m running a little behind. I had an emergency parent/teacher meeting.”

  “Is everything okay?” I asked as I made my way into Nik’s home.

  “I think it will be. I can’t go into too much detail because it’s now a criminal complaint. One of my kids had an issue at home. The mother’s boyfriend tried something. My student came to me during my free period obviously distraught. I’m just happy he knew he could trust me to help him.”

  “Poor kid. The mother didn’t stick up for the boyfriend, did she?”

  “No, thank God. Would you like something to drink?”

  “No. I’m good. I’ll just chill out on the sofa while you do whatever you need to. If that’s cool?”

  “That works. I shouldn’t be long.”

  Ten minutes later, Nik walked into the living room dressed head to toe in black. He looked good enough to eat.

  “Is this okay?” Nik held out his arms. “I noticed you were wearing your work clothes. Unless, you left your suit in the car. Then I’ll go grab a blazer from my closet. Did you need to change?”

  “Nope. This is what I’m wearing. I worked today. I didn’t get anything on my waistcoat or kilt, so I think I’m good. You look great.”

  “Thanks. You do as well.” Nik’s blushed. The flush of color looked good on him. “How was the rehearsal?”

  “It went good. We only had to run through the ceremony once. The photographer took a few pictures. It was all pretty painless. We’re eating at Del Rios. Did I mention that?” Nik nodded. “After dinner we’ll head over to Neon.”

  Neon was an LGBTQ friendly nightclub near downtown and where Ryan and Ethan had met three years ago. Who would have thought their bar hookup would lead to I Do? Here I was. Mr. No Anonymous Fucks with a fake boyfriend as a plus one. You’d think it would be the other way around.

  ****

  The music thumped while Ryan gyrated against Ethan. My brother grabbed Ryan’s ass with both hands and pressed their groins together. Gross. I shook my head and looked away. There were some things brothers shouldn’t witness. Nik elbowed me in the ribs. I glanced over at him. The smirk on his face told me he knew where my mind went.

  The music switched to over, and a remixed version of Poker Face greeted my ears. Nik jumped to his feet with a whoop. He grabbed my hand and tugged. “It’s Gaga. Let’s go,” he yelled.

  I allowed him to lead me, which was code for drag me, onto the dance floor. I wasn’t much of a dancer. But holy fuck, Nik was. It was as if his body was taken over by the music. He raised his arms over his head and a wide joyous smile overtook his face. His lips moved as he sang the words. The sensual sway of his hips gave me an instant boner.

  Ryan abandoned my brother and edged up behind Nik sandwiching my fake boyfriend between us. This was not good. Ryan pressed in close which subsequently had Nik and I pushed chest to chest. Nik froze when he came in contact with my rigid dick. His eyes went wide. All I could was shrug. I breathed out a relieved sigh when Nik shot me an irresistible tipsy grin and began moving again.

  We danced until we were hot and sweaty. I didn’t care if I was nowhere near as good as Nik. He didn’t seem to mind either. “Want to take a break?” I yelled.

  Nik nodded and yelled back, “I need water.”

  He followed me off the dance floor. We dropped into the chairs we’d vacated earlier.

  I pulled into Nik’s driveway shortly after two in the morning. He was funny as hell after a few too many drinks. The man did not hear a song he wasn’t tempted to sing along with at the top of his lungs. He had a good voice, so I didn’t mind. Plus, it made him happy. I found myself becoming more and more addicted to Nik’s smiles.

  “Do you need help getting inside?” Why did I suddenly feel awkward?

  “No. I’m good. Unless you want to come in?”

  “Better not. I have to meet my brothers for breakfast at eight. Why they thought that was a good idea I’ll never know.”

  “Don’t worry about picking me up tomorrow.” I started to argue, and Nik cut me off. “I mean it. You will be swamped with all your best man duties. I’ll meet you at The Gardens at six-thirty.”

  “I would argue more but I doubt it would do me any good.”

  “I knew you were a smart man.” Before I knew what was happening, Nik leaned in and kissed me. It wasn’t much more than a brush of his lips against mine, but I felt it all the way to my soul.

  When he pulled away, he looked as shocked at I felt. He offered a quick apology and jumped out of the car before I could stop him.

  ****

  I was glad I gave into Nik last night. Having never been a best man before, I hadn’t realized all the shit that went into accepting the role. I was ready for the ceremony to start so the day would end. I felt a little less stressed when Nik walked through the gate. I met him halfway.

  “Hey. You made it.”

  Nik glanced at his watch. “Six-thirty on the dot. I am nothing if not punctual.” He eyed me up and down. His gaze raked me like a physical caress. “That’s a different kilt than you normally wear for work.”

  “The kilts I wear at the bar are more for aesthetics to give the patrons an authentic experience. The dark grey and black hide stains. The one I have on today is only worn for special occasions. It’s the Campbell tartan. My brothers are also wearing our clan tartan.”

  He nodded toward my family and the other attendees as they found their seats. “The different fabrics represent the clans the others belong to?”

  “Correct.”

  “Maggie wanted to know if you’d like to sit next to her so you wouldn’t feel like the odd man out.”

  “That was sweet of her. Where is she?” He scanned the crowd then huffed out a breath. “I don’t see her. There are entirely too many redheads in your family, Jacob.”

  I laughed. He wasn’t wrong. Two percent of the world’s population was redheaded, and it looked as if they were all attending Ethan and Ryan’s wedding. “There.” I pointed to the chairs left of the aisle. “On the left, third row, next to the empty chair on the end.”

  “Yep. I see her now. I should go sit and let you get back to your brother.”

  “Okay. See you after.”

  I wanted to lean in and kiss Nik like he’d done to me last night. Except longer, slower, and wearing fewer clothes. Nik nodded and thankfully walked away before I could make a fool of myself.

  After the ceremony, I found Nik standing off to the side with Maggie away from the crowd. “There you guys are.” I leaned in and kissed Maggie’s cheek. “Thanks for taking care of Sammy for
me.”

  “It was no hardship. He’s super sweet and awfully nice to look at.”

  “Hey. Get your own man,” I teased while a small piece of me died inside. After today, Nik would be gone.

  “Whatever. I’m going to grab myself a drink.”

  “Last day, huh?” Nik said, his eyes on Maggie as she made her way inside the tent. “We should probably think of a way to end this so it’s believable.”

  Wait. What? I turned and looked at Nik. “Are you sure that’s what you want? Last night―”

  “What about last night? I was kind of drunk. I don’t remember much.”

  I wasn’t sure if I believed him. Either way it was obvious Nik wanted to chalk the impulsive kiss up to one too many cocktails. Thank goodness, he had cut me off before I embarrassed myself and blurted out how I wanted to see if we could turn our fake relationship into a real one.

  “Hey.” Nik snapped his fingers. “You could use that. You could be pissed about me drinking too much.”

  I shook my head. “No. I don’t want to use something that will make you look bad.”

  “Not like I’ll see anyone again, right?”

  No, not right. Not if I had any say in the matter. I couldn’t let it end this way. I needed to find the courage to tell Nik how I felt. Ethan called my name and motioned for me to join him and my brothers. “I swear to Christ if this is more photographs, I will make Ryan a widower.”

  Nik breathed a laugh, but his smile didn’t reach his eyes. “You better go see what he wants.”

  “Yeah, okay.” I hesitated to leave. I placed a hand on Nik’s shoulder. “Don’t go anywhere.”

  “I’m your fake date until the end.”

  Which seemed to be coming a lot faster than I wanted.

  Chapter 8

  nik

  I watched Jacob join his brothers. There was no way I was walking away from this thing with my heart intact. I would miss Jacob. Hell, I would miss his whole family. Except for Brittany. Then again, she wasn’t actually a member of their family, more of an interloper.

  I’d learned a few things about myself during my time as a fake boyfriend. One. I was a much better actor than I thought. Two. I never wanted a relationship where I couldn’t be one hundred percent honest. The Campbell’s were nice people. The guilt from lying to them was eating me up inside. Three. I could never set foot in The Tilted Kilt after today. Watching Jacob move on from our fake relationship would be more than I could handle.

  The cellphone in my pocket vibrated. I dug it out feeling relieved when I looked at the screen. I answered the call. “Hey. Give me a minute to step away.”

  “Okay.”

  I caught Jacob’s eye and waved my phone. He nodded. I walked toward the gate deciding the other side of the concrete wall surrounding the gardens would afford me a good amount of privacy. I stepped through the opening and ducked around the corner before putting the phone to my ear. “Are you still there?”

  “Yep.”

  “It’s about time you called me back. Where the hell have you been? I needed to talk to you hours ago.”

  “Sorry. I didn’t realize my phone wasn’t properly plugged in to the charger and it died. I listened to your voicemail and didn’t understand a damn word. Were you drunk last night?”

  “I had a few. We went to a club after the rehearsal dinner.”

  “So, what about Jacob? Aren’t you at the wedding?”

  “Yes. I’m drowning in a sea of kilts and lies, Sammy,” I hissed into the phone.

  “Wait. Who else is wearing a kilt?”

  “Every single male member of his family. Now focus. This is your fault.”

  “My bad. What’s my fault exactly?”

  “You roped me into your scheme. How could you do that to me? You knew Jacob was an awesome guy. Why would you ask me to pretend to be his boyfriend?”

  “I honestly don’t know how I should respond. I need clarification. Is this you attempting to tell me you’ve fallen for him?”

  “Yes. How could I not? Jacob is perfect, except for the fact I don’t think he owns a pair pants.”

  “How does Jacob not owning pants make him less perfect? Easy access, my friend.”

  “Not helping.”

  “Tell him how you feel.”

  I scoffed at her stupid idea. If it were that easy, I would have done it already. “Only to have Jacob crush me because he doesn’t return my feelings. No thanks.” I thought I heard something and glanced over my shoulder praying Jacob hadn’t decided to join me. There was nobody there. I rolled my eyes. Obviously, unrequited love made me paranoid. “Not to mention the fact he’s in there right now coming up with a way for us to break up that won’t look suspicious.” I covered my eyes and moaned. “What’s even worse. I kissed him last night.”

  “Whaaaat?”

  “Not a kiss kiss. But a small one on the lips. You should have seen the look on his face afterward, Sammy. The feelings are all one sided. My side.” I blew out a tired breath. “Why can’t it be real?”

  “I’m so sorry.”

  “I think he wanted to bring the kiss up earlier. I shut him down and took the coward’s way out. I acted like I didn’t remember much about what happened due to my alcohol consumption.”

  “Oh, Nik.” Sammy’s voice cracked, and she sniffed.

  “I’ll get through the wedding then never have to see him again. It’ll be okay.”

  “I’m really sorry, Nik. I never considered you would develop feelings for Jacob. You haven’t dated since Alan. I figured…”

  “I know. It’s not your fault even though I said it was. Jacob is different. Oh well, right? That’s life. Lemons into lemonade. All those other stupid clichés. I should rejoin the festivities. Thanks for calling me back and letting me vent.”

  “If you want to come by later and drown your sorrows in a pint of vanilla chip, my door is open. Love you, Nik.”

  “I’ll probably take you up on your offer. Love you too, Sammy. Always.”

  “At the very least call me later and let me know you’re okay.”

  “I will. Bye.” I ended the call and shoved the phone into my pocket. Maybe I was destined to be alone.

  “I knew it.”

  The snarling and decidedly female voice caught me off guard. I jerked around and came face to face with Jacob’s ex Brittany.

  “Knew what?”

  “Don’t play stupid with me. I knew there was no way you and Jacob were actually together. He just claimed to be pan or whatever so he wouldn’t have to commit to our relationship. He wanted to keep his options open, as I suspected. Everyone knows bisexual and pansexual are PC terms for greedy.”

  She was insane. “Your bigotry is showing. For your information, bisexual and pansexuality are valid orientation. That whole greedy bullshit smacks of bi-erasure and homophobia. Bi and pan persons are just as capable of being in committed relationships as anyone else. Their attraction to more than one gender doesn’t negate the fact. The same goes for anyone regardless of their identity or orientation. In summation, only assholes are unfaithful.” I moved past her. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to get back to Jacob.”

  She reached out and grabbed my arm. “Don’t think your little speech will distract me. I heard you on the phone with whom I assume was the real Sammy. You and Jacob were faking this whole boyfriend thing.”

  “You’re wrong.” I jerked my arm from her grasp and rushed down the walkway toward the party tent. I spotted Jacob in the corner laughing with his brothers. I practically ran to his side. His face lit up when he saw me as if his feelings for me were actually real. My heart lurched and the pang of longing I felt grew a little bigger.

  “Hey, Sammy. Everything okay? You’ve been gone a while?”

  I grabbed Jacob’s hand and tugged. “I need to talk to you. Now.”

  His brow furrowed with concern. “What’s wrong?”

  “Like you don’t know,” Brittany sneered.

  Damn. She was fast in heels. I
sighed dropping my chin to my chest. Shit. She was actually going to do this in front of Jacob’s family.

  “Sammy?”

  “His name isn’t Sammy, Jakey.” She crossed her arms over her chest. The move pushed up her ample breasts to the point where they almost spilled over the top of her dress. “I don’t know who he is, but I know who he isn’t. They’ve been lying to us.”

  Jacob froze. I glanced at him. His wide eyes met mine. “She overheard me on the phone with Sammy.”

  He squeezed my hand and smiled. “It’s okay.” The knot in my gut loosened when I realized he didn’t blame me or, worse, hate me.

  “Is this true, Jacob?” Ethan asked.

  “Yes. I asked my friend Sammy to be my plus one. She couldn’t make it. Nik took her place.”

  “I knew you referred to Sammy as a she. I can’t believe I let you convince me I was wrong.”

  “Brittany,” Logan scolded. “I think you’ve done enough.”

  “Yes, Brittany.” Ryan jumped into the conversation. “What Logan said. Shut the fuck up. Nobody here actually likes you. We faked it for Jacob’s sake and now Logan’s.” He narrowed his eyes at Brittany as if daring her to speak. He nodded when Logan pulled her off to the side. “I’m sorry you felt you had to lie to us, Jacob. We wouldn’t have judged you for showing up alone or with a friend. But I get it.”

  Ryan turned to me. He held out his hand. “Ryan Campbell.” His smile widened. “Oh, I do so love saying that.”

  I laughed and shook his hand. “Nikolas Russo. Everyone calls me Nik. Everything I told you about myself―except the parts where Jacob and I were in a relationship and my name―was true. Jacob and Sammy were in a bind and I was happy to help.”

  I looked at Jacob and shrugged. “I’m sorry it blew up in our faces. Even though Sammy was returning my call, I never should have answered the phone.”

  “Don’t worry about it. Not your fault. I perpetrated the lie.”