The Ghost of You and Me

by Kelly Oram

  My heart sputters in my chest. “No. Of course not. I have no idea where he’s been or why he was here. Why would you think we’re dating?”

  Liz’s cheeks turn pink. “It’s just something people have been saying, but it doesn’t matter.”

  If Liz is refusing to dish the gossip, I know it’s bad. Deciding it’s better not to know, I don’t ask. Liz seems more than happy to let the subject drop as well, but Trisha can’t let it go. “He sure ran after you pretty quickly when you bailed at lunch yesterday.” She was quiet through Liz’s interrogation, but as we reach my locker, she leans against the one next to it and grills me. “Are you sure there’s nothing going on between you guys?”

  Opening my locker, I cut her a glance, startled by the barely-concealed venom in her tone. She’s applying lip gloss, but she’s watching me with suspicion. I roll my eyes as I grab my math and English books that I need for my first two classes. I don’t have the desire or the patience to deal with Trisha’s attitude today.

  Rubbing my head against a sudden ache, I sigh. “How many times have I told you, there’s never been anything between us? Wes and I haven’t been friends for a long time. We hung out for Spencer’s sake. I haven’t seen him since the funeral.”

  Trisha pulls herself off the locker to stand at her full height. She obviously doesn’t believe me, but she drops it. “Whatever.” With a flip of her hair, she strides off to her first class.

  I quickly gather the rest of the things I need and shut my locker. Liz’s first class is near mine, so we walk together. “Ignore her,” she says. “You know Wes’s always been a sore spot for her. There aren’t many guys that tell her no, and Wes must have blown her off a hundred times. It used to drive her crazy that you could have had Wes but you chose Spencer.”

  My pace slows as I consider that. Could I have had Wes? If that dumb bottle had landed on him instead of Spencer, would things have gone differently? It’s possible, but I’m glad they didn’t. I wouldn’t give back my relationship with Spencer for anything. Not even for the hottest guy in the world—which Wes might actually be.

  Liz clutches the notebook in her arms and giggles. “If you tell her this, I will kill you, but I was always secretly glad Wes turned her down. She’s such a brat, but she still gets everything she wants, you know?”

  The confession surprises me, and I glance at my friend, failing to hold back a smile that shouldn’t be there. Liz sees it and winks at me. “Personally,” she says, “I loved that you and Spencer were together. You’re as pretty and popular as Trisha, and you could have had the hottest guy in school, but you still chose the nerdy one.”

  I know what she means, but I still have to defend Spencer. “He wasn’t a nerd.”

  Liz laughs, nodding. “Yeah, he was, but we all still liked him because you did. None of us understood it, but we could all see how much you loved him. What you guys had was…”

  She winces when she realizes this conversation is probably upsetting me. “Sorry.”

  “It’s okay,” I tell her, though my throat is closed up and my stomach is clenched into a tight knot.

  When we reach my classroom, I stop next to the door because Liz isn’t leaving and she’s biting her lip as if she wants to say something. I force a smile and wait for her to spit it out. After looking around to make sure no one is standing too close and going to overhear, she leans in and whispers, “Chase is going to ask you to homecoming.”

  I thought she was going to tell me the rumor she’d heard about me that she wouldn’t say before, but this… Chase is going to ask me to homecoming?

  Chase Lansing is hot—tall, blond hair, big green eyes, great smile, athletic build. He’s Jake Wainwright’s best friend and one of the most popular guys in school. Any girl would be thrilled if he asked her to the dance.

  I frown. “I thought he was going to ask you.”

  Liz shrugs. “He did, but Chris had already asked me, so I suggested he take you.” She tucks some of her dark chin-length hair behind her ear and pins me with a stern look. “I told him you would say yes.”

  “You what? Liz! Why would you do that?”

  Liz’s perky smile disappears from her face—a rare sight, so I know she’s serious. “I’m sorry about Spencer, Bailey, but enough is enough. You’ve been moping around for a year, blowing all of your friends off, ignoring us. It’s getting old.”

  She’s not being snotty. Not like Trisha would be. But the warning is clear.

  “I…” I don’t know what to say.

  “Come to the dance. Have fun again. Chase has always liked you. You guys would be good together.”

  I can’t help feeling like she’s giving me an ultimatum. Go with Chase to the dance or get dumped by my friends. Both options scare me. I’m saved from having to answer when the bell rings. Liz looks up at the sound and then smiles again, as if we never had this talk. “See you in second.”

  . . . . .

  I spend the day waiting for Chase to ask me to the dance. The entire time, I try to figure out what I’ll tell him. The thought of lunch practically gives me an ulcer because I’m so anxious. If he asks me in front of everyone, I’ll have to say yes. But I can’t go with Chase to the dance. With Chase, it wouldn’t be a meaningless date.

  Chase is the boyfriend type. He’s had several girlfriends over the years. He’s never been all that serious with any of them, but he’s definitely not a play-the-field guy like Jake. He likes relationships. He likes the label, the status, the security, and having one girl to woo and have fawn all over him. He likes to be the It couple. He’s not a bad guy, but he’s not for me. I can’t be his girlfriend.

  But I can’t be an outcast, either. I need my friends. I know that sounds hypocritical because I’m not a good friend to them anymore, but I need the distraction they provide. I depend on their chatter, laughter, and gossip to get me through the day. Alone, I’d have nothing but my thoughts to keep me company, and that would be bad. I’d be hallucinating Spencer all the time, and I’d end up in a mental hospital.

  At lunch, Chase doesn’t ask me to the dance, but he does sit next to me. I tell myself it’s only a coincidence, that he’s only sitting next to me because the person he usually sits next to—Jake—has taken up residence next to Charlotte. It’s easy to believe when I watch the way Jake throws himself at the new girl over and over again while Trisha eats her lunch in silence, glaring daggers at them both. But then Chase puts his arm around me and offers to share his fries, so maybe Chase and Jake planned the seat swap together.

  Chase and I have history together as the last class of the day, so I assume when he doesn’t make a scene at lunch that he’s waiting to ask me out when none of our other friends are around. He must not completely believe Liz’s promise that I won’t reject him.

  “There she is! Bailey!”

  I turn around just before walking into history to see Charlotte waving me down. At first, my heart skips a beat and bile rises in my throat because she’s walking with Jake and Chase, and I think this is the moment I’ve been dreading all day. Chase is smiling at me, his big green eyes bright and happy to see me, and Jake has his arm around Charlotte. It looks like an ambush for a double date.

  Charlotte breaks away from Jake and runs toward me as if we’re the best of friends. I can tell by the way she has to squirm that freeing herself from Jake’s clutches isn’t easy. She steps toward me, desperation on her face, and envelops me in a hug. As she pulls back, there’s a brilliant smile plastered on her face. “Would you please tell Jake about Saturday? He doesn’t believe me.”

  A genuine grin lights up my face when I realize what’s happening. I’m both amused and relieved. Chase isn’t asking me out; Charlotte is doing exactly what I hope to accomplish in history—avoiding a date she doesn’t want.

  I don’t know what Charlotte has told them, but I figure if she’d mentioned any specific plans she would have said as much, so I tell Jake the truth, except I include Charlotte. “We’re going shopping all day on Sa
turday. My mom is taking us into the city to look for homecoming dresses.”

  Relief floods Charlotte. She squeezes my hand in a silent thank-you before turning to face Jake. “See? Sorry.”

  Jake glances back and forth between Charlotte and me a few times before settling his narrowed gaze on me. “Since when do you hang out with people again?”

  It’s a fair question, but the bitterness in his voice still stings. “I promised my mom that I would go dress shopping with her and Julia.”

  Jake still isn’t buying it. He arches a single skeptical brow. “And you invited Charlotte?”

  Here, I realize, is the perfect opportunity for me to free myself as well as Charlotte. “Of course. Not only will I look like some ex-first lady if I let my mom pick out my dress, but Charlotte is my date to the dance.”

  I hook my arm through Charlotte’s to present a unified front. Charlotte happily clings to me, flashing her magazine-cover worthy smile as she nods. “We’re going stag together, like we talked about yesterday.”

  Chase’s face dims a little, making me feel guilty for a few seconds, before my relief trumps it.

  “What about my party?” Jake persists. “You’ll be back in time for that, right? Want to be my date?” His smile turns sly, and he puts his arm around her shoulder again. “We need to get to know each other better.”

  Charlotte shoots me a look that makes me smile again. I can almost hear her mental gagging noises. “Sorry, I can’t,” she says. “My dad’s having a barbecue Saturday night. He’s got a home game this weekend, and he likes to plan things while he’s here. I hardly get to spend time with him during the season because he travels so much, so I can’t skip out.”

  Finally, Jake can’t argue. His eyes light up with excitement, though. No doubt he’s hoping she’ll invite him to come. From the look on his face, he’d cancel his party for the chance to go to a cookout at Xavier Mitchell’s house. Charlotte, of course, doesn’t extend the invite.

  When the silence starts to get awkward, Chase clears his throat and bumps his shoulder against mine. “You’re going to the party, though, right?”

  As if Trisha and Liz would let me miss it? I nod.

  Chase’s smile returns, and I know what’s coming. “Do you want to go with me? I could come pick you up at eight.”

  Thank you, Julia! “Sorry. I already promised I’d bring my little sister.” I pat his arm, hoping to lessen the rejection. “I’ll see you there, though.”

  Touching him is a mistake. In a flash, he scoops up my fingers and tangles them in his. “Promise you’ll dance with me?”

  I gulp. I can’t think of an excuse to say no without hurting his feelings and getting in trouble with Liz. But one dance at a party is better than having to be his homecoming date. “Sure.”

  I suck in a breath after the word escapes my lips, wishing I could somehow take it back. Both Chase and Jake rear back at my answer and share a long glance. Their shock is so severe it’s almost insulting. Have I really been that bad?

  “I’m going to hold you to that,” Chase warns. He still hasn’t let go of my hand.

  “Me too!” My eyes snap to Jake, and he grins. “Hey, it’s only polite to dance with the host, and if beautiful Bailey Atkinson is finally coming back to life, I’m not going to miss out on the fun. Dance with me, too, yeah?”

  Coming back to life? I guess I really have been that bad. The momentary good mood Charlotte gave me vanishes. “Yeah, sure,” I tell Jake. It’s an easy lie, because there’s no way Trisha will let him get near me that night. She’s determined to make Jake hers, and I know she considers me her biggest competition even if I’m not.

  When the warning bell rings, Chase starts to drag me to class before I get the chance to pull my hand free. How did I get attached to him like this? If we walk into the classroom together holding hands, everyone will assume we’re a couple, and Liz and Trisha will find a way to make it official before I can leave campus. I try to tug myself free, but Chase pretends I’m squeezing his hand and pumps mine back, grinning as he does. “We’ll have fun. I promise.”

  It’s like I’m already his girlfriend in his mind. I have to get out of this. I try again to break Chase’s grip without causing a scene that would embarrass us both, but I can’t. My heart pounds, and I drag my feet. We can’t walk into that classroom.

  “Bailey, you have history right now, too?” Charlotte asks, literally yanking me away from Chase. “That is the best news ever. I need a girlfriend in this class.” She smiles at Chase and Jake. “Not that you guys aren’t great, too.”

  I left early yesterday, so I didn’t know she was in this class, but I’m glad she’s here to save me. “Want to sit together?”

  “Definitely.” Charlotte links her arm in mine and proceeds to save me a second time—though I have no doubt it’s also more self-preservation on her part as well. “Liz told me we’re starting some new project in this class today. Want to be my partner?”

  Chase frowns. “Actually, I was going to—”

  “Sure,” I answer Charlotte, interrupting Chase before he can finish.

  As we find two empty seats near the back of the classroom, Jake and Chase slide into the two desks behind ours, completing our little clique. Jake is pouting, but Chase’s expression is more confused than disappointed. His perfect plan—which, now that I know about the project, I’m sure was to ask me to be his partner and then convince me to go to homecoming with him when we had to get together after school—has been derailed so fast he still isn’t sure what happened. Again, I feel bad for him, but I’m too relieved to care.

  After class, Charlotte suggests we get an early jump on our project, so I invite her to come home with me. Julia freaks out when she sees Charlotte and doesn’t stop asking fangirl questions the entire drive home. “Julia, leave her alone!” I snap, embarrassed by my little sister’s inability to be cool. “I’m sure Charlotte gets tired of being pestered about her dad.”

  Julia ducks her head to hide her blazing cheeks. I feel terrible for humiliating her, but apologizing would only bring more attention to the situation and embarrass her further.

  “It’s okay.” Charlotte turns to smile at Julia in the backseat. “You guys should come to a game with me sometime. I’ll introduce you to my dad, and you can see that he’s really this huge, embarrassing dork like most parents.”

  Glancing in the rearview mirror, I see that Julia’s face is still pink, but she’s smiling again. I try to catch her gaze to mouth an apology, but she doesn’t look my way. I think she’s ignoring me on purpose. “Really?” she asks Charlotte. Her normal buoyancy is gone, replaced with shyness.

  “Sure. We have box seats, and I’m allowed to bring as many friends as I want.”

  “That would be fun. Do you think Mom and Dad would let us go sometime, Bailey?”

  I glance in the mirror again, and this time she meets my eyes. Her face holds a silent plea, because we both know it would be up to me. Mom and Dad would let us go together, but they’d never let Julia go into the city without me.

  I don’t know what to say. I don’t really know Charlotte, so I’m not sure if she invited us because she really wants to take us to a game, or because I lied to Jake for her and she feels obligated.

  When I don’t answer immediately, Julia thinks I’m saying no and sinks back in her seat, pouting. “I don’t know, maybe,” I offer, but it’s too little too late. She glares at me.

  Tension settles over the car, so I try to get the conversation going again. “Is your dad really a dork?” I ask Charlotte. I’ve seen Xavier Mitchell give interviews. I can’t picture him like that.

  “Oh yeah.” Charlotte laughs. “He’s awesome with his fans, but when I introduce him to my friends, suddenly he has to be the ‘fun, cool’ dad, and all his actual coolness disappears. He tries to be funny. It’s so embarrassing.”

  I nod in understanding. “That’s like our dad. He’s a good dad, but when our friends come over, he tells ‘your momma’ jokes and
talks about Kyle Hamilton and Adrianna Pascal. He still calls them Kylianna.”

  “Ouch.”

  Charlotte giggles and I wince. “Yup. But he tries so hard we don’t have the heart to tell him they broke up years ago and Kyle married someone else.”

  My dad is a banker on Wall Street. He works for JP Morgan in their mergers and acquisitions department. The man buys, sells, and merges entire banking institutions—he’s really smart. But when it comes to what’s cool, he doesn’t have a clue. I don’t think he got it when he was a teenager, either. I suspect he was always a big nerd. I love him for trying, though.

  When we get home, Julia stomps into the house without so much as a good-bye to Charlotte. “Sorry,” I say as I grab my backpack out of the back of the car. “She’s usually not so temperamental, but she seems to hate me more and more every day.”

  Charlotte hefts her bag over her shoulder and walks with me into the house, all smiles as if nothing happened. “At least you have a sister to fight with. It’s just my dad and me at home, and he’s gone so much.”

  “I think it would be fun to have an older brother,” I admit. “Then he could scare away all the boys for me. Thanks for saving me from Chase earlier, by the way.”

  Charlotte laughs as we enter the house through the side entrance into the kitchen. “It was the least I could do after you covered for me with Jake. That was quick thinking with the dress shopping lie.”

  “Lie?” my mother asks, her voice rising to make the word a question. “Don’t tell me you’ve changed your mind about going dress shopping?”

  I stumble to a halt and blink at my mother. I’m surprised she’s home, and even more shocked that she’s apron-clad and up to her elbows in cookie dough like some sort of Sitcom Sally. “Hey. No, that’s not what she’s talking about. What are you doing here? I thought you had your hands full with the fundraiser.”

  She smiles, but it’s a little too big and bright. “I just thought I’d take the day off.”