Forged by Sacrifice Kindle rev 100519

by Evans, LJ

  “What about sharks? Have you been nibbled on by sharks?”

  He laughed. “You watch too many scary movies or something? No sharks.”

  “I’ve seen Soul Surfer. That’s not a scary movie. That’s a cautionary tale.”

  “That’s a tale about bravery and courage.”

  “Wait. How do you know that movie?”

  “Did you miss the part where I said I grew up with three sisters?”

  He pulled my other leg, and I went toppling into the water and into his arms. I let out a squeal that was nothing I normally did. I wasn’t a squeal kind of person, just like I wasn’t normally fearful.

  I was being held against a chest that was warm while the water was cool, the sensations of heat and cold coursing through my veins. My heart beat wildly, not only because of his closeness, but because I was in the water and not sure I wanted to be there.

  “See. No toes being bitten off.” He continued to smile down at me, and I relaxed a little, pushing myself out of his arms.

  “Not yet. But if I lose a body part, Ava and Eli will both come after you with machetes.”

  More booming laughter. Just like last night, it filled the air around us. If there had been birds nearby, it would have startled them out of their trees.

  He swam out the way he’d come, looking back every so often to make sure I was following him. I did, with my brain screaming at me that I was not supposed to be trusting my instincts and that I hadn’t fully researched anything that was about to happen to me.

  When we got out several yards from the boat, Mac stopped and motioned for me to do the same. We did the minimum that was necessary to float, and pretty soon, I could see the turtles moving down below in the clear water. Most were about the size of a toddler, but some were smaller. Some were cruising around the bottom. Some swimming. It shouldn’t have felt like a life-changing experience, and yet it almost was. Like the Earth had rotated into a new position around me. Like I’d learned something spectacular when I’d actually learned nothing.

  We watched for a while, and then Mac flipped over onto his back, floating, looking up at the clear sky. I joined him. The blue of the sky was faded and pale compared to the sea around us—almost white—making me miss my contacts that were almost this same pale shade. We’d left so quickly this morning that I hadn’t put any of them in.

  Eventually, the coolness of the water started to take over the heat of my body, and I shivered. I flipped over and headed back toward the boat. When I pulled myself out of the water, Mac was right behind me. I grabbed my towel, rubbing away some of the water. I looked up to see he was watching me; the way my hands and the towel traced over my body, and I froze in the midst of an action that I hadn’t intended to be a sexual one, but yet, he was suddenly making me feel was that and much more.

  He came up close, and I dropped the towel as his body touched mine, the heat searing its way back into my cool one. His hand went to my arm, his fingers and palm dancing over my skin and up to my shoulder, before journeying to my neck, where it stilled.

  “I’d really like to kiss you,” he said quietly.

  I looked into his eyes that were the color of the sky and the sea all rolled into one. His face was so gorgeous, with its day-old stubble and square planes, that it was like looking at a piece of art you’d never expected to see up close in person.

  “I’d really like you to kiss me, too. But let’s face it, it isn’t a good idea,” I answered back, unable to deny the attraction that existed between the two of us from the moment we’d met in my salon two years ago, regardless of the relationship I’d just left behind.

  His head inclined in silent agreement. It wasn’t a good idea. Disappointment curled through me even as I knew it was better this way.

  His hand moved to caress my cheek. Gently. Soothing.

  “Can I ask why you think it’s a bad idea?” he inquired.

  His voice had turned a notch deeper in blatant desire, making my heart pound against my chest in a heavy beat that denied my words. I ached to kiss him. To feel those almost too-perfect lips against my own. To feel the strength that poured from him, in muscle and character, reaching out to touch my soul.

  “Ava and Eli,” I said quietly. “Awkwardness later.”

  He nodded again, that new and unfamiliar feeling of disappointment reaching up into my throat at his action. My body didn’t want him to nod, but my brain was still ruling my movements.

  “One kiss,” he muttered, a finger traveled to my lips, caressing the bottom one with a gentle touch like the one he’d used on the tomatoes the day before. Surprising. Sexy. My breath escaped in a gasp that sounded almost like a moan.

  And then his lips were on mine, just like the touch, gentle and yet full of heat, longing filling us both, desire escaping from us and mingling in an excursion that felt like heartbreak and loneliness and promises that would never be. The gentleness gave way to a fierceness that was as unexpected as the gentleness had been. His hand went to my lower back, pulling me toward him tighter so that our bodies and curves joined in a way that felt like opposite ends of magnets finally clicking together. Parallel forces drawn, as if by physics itself.

  My hands went to his shoulders, finding their way to the wet hair at the nape of his neck, twisting so that our lips were pushed closer, tighter, harder together. It was the best kiss I’d ever received in my life. I’d had many kisses—fewer partners—but lots of exploratory kisses. None matched the intensity of this one kiss, not even Jared’s sexy smoothness. None that made my soul want to completely disregard the screaming in my brain.

  The lack of air forced our lips apart, our lungs giving way to that need to breathe and involuntarily separating us in a way our souls wouldn’t have done.

  We both breathed in heavily. He looked down into my eyes, his sea-colored ones full of the desire that was still coursing through us both. Our bodies were still tucked together. Only our lips had moved away. It felt as if I was looking for something in Mac that I’d never looked for in any of my male partners. I wanted something more than desire to be there.

  It was ridiculous. And that had me pulling away completely, not trusting anything my senses were telling me. He let me pull away, but his eyes went from my lips, to my chest that was still beating wildly, back to my lips, and then up to my eyes, lingering there.

  “I like your real color,” he said.

  Then, he left me, going down below with a muttered comment about changing. My heart slowly settled from its wild beat, but my emotions were still high. They were wrapped in the dream of the kiss and our day. Emotions that were untested. Unproven. Unreal.

  I picked up the towel from where I’d dropped it and went up onto the bow to lie down, letting the sun soak into my already overheated body. The body that had lost the shiver from the cold waters with a kiss. It wasn’t until I’d lain there for a few moments that I realized Mac had never told me why he thought kissing me was a mistake. And that one thought jolted me back to reality more than any other thing could.

  Mac

  SIMPLE MAN

  "Boy, don't you worry, you'll find yourself

  Follow your heart and nothing else.”

  Performed by Lynyrd Skynyrd

  Written by Rossington / Van Zant

  The Salty Dog was filled with locals and tourists in the height of the holiday week as I poured beers from the tap for Eli. I wasn’t able to make the mixed drinks, but I could still help while Ava felt like cr―crud. Andy and Lacey―the prior owners of the bar―were usually the ones who filled in when Eli and Ava needed it, but they wouldn’t be back into town until the next day.

  Eli was all business as a couple of female tourists flirted relentlessly with him. He wasn’t being rude, but I wondered if he even recognized that they were flirting with him. His love for Ava often had him in a cloud of No-man's-land when it came to things like that. I moseyed up to the women and flashed them my best Mac smile.

  “Ladi
es.”

  They turned their eyes on me, and the blonde’s smile widened. “Hey.”

  “I’m not sure if you know this or not, but my man, Eli…he’s pretty much got a ring on his finger.” That turned both their smiles down a notch as they both glanced to his hand that didn’t hold a ring yet. “I know, to a lot of people, that might not mean all that much—a ring—but I can tell you for a fact that his getting a ring isn’t just some societal mark to him. It’s part of his soul, so getting his attention in that way is pretty much going to be like removing a Kraken from the sea, if you get my drift.”

  “What’s a Kraken?” the brunette asked.

  I fought back a snide comment and just smiled wider. The blonde returned the smile, her eyes darting to my left hand, which was ring free. I didn’t intend it to be ring free forever, but it was at the moment. That had my brain and my body going back to the kiss with Georgie on my boat that afternoon, and my body’s reaction to that memory pretty much halted any other thought going in or out of my brain.

  I didn’t hear a word the blonde said. Eli had to actually nudge me out of the way to put their drinks down. I just turned and walked back to the other end of the bar and the tap. It was the rudest I’d been to a woman in my whole life. Eli followed.

  “What the hell was that about?” Eli asked. “You don’t normally walk away from that kind of flirting unless you have to report to duty.”

  My brain was still trying to kick my body out of the kiss.

  The life-altering, seared-on-my-mind-for-the-rest-of-my-life kiss. The kiss that I had promised would be just one. Except, now that I’d had the one, my body and soul were calling for more. Many more. Lifetimes worth of more. Because I had known, just like I knew I would, that Georgie could be the rest-of-my-days kind of woman.

  But she couldn’t be. Not at all for the reason she’d given about Ava and Eli and the potential awkwardness if things went south between us, but because she’d opened up and told me something about herself that was a death sentence to any political career I’d ever want. She’d said the words Russia and prison in almost the same sentence. I hadn’t spent my entire life keeping my nose clean for nothing. I’d partied with alcohol and no drugs. I’d never driven drunk. I’d kept my dick covered every single time I’d had sex.

  I’d done everything for one purpose: to make a run for a political office. To change our world for the better in a way I couldn’t have done, even in the office at the DoD where I had proposed and nixed black ops. But to have a chance at a political career, you didn’t marry a woman with Russian ties by choice. No way in hell.

  “Mac?” Eli nudged me again, bringing me back from kisses, and careers, and heartbreak that hadn’t even had a chance to happen.

  “Yeah, yeah. I’m good.”

  Eli laughed. “I didn’t ask if you were good, asswipe. What gives?”

  But I wasn’t able to say any of what had been in my head to Eli, to the man who—even if his knee hadn’t forced it on him—would have given up his career in a heartbeat to spend the rest of his life with Ava.

  I tried to reason with myself that I didn’t know for sure what could happen with Georgie and me. That what I felt could have been wrong. But getting out before I was in too deep was the better choice so I wouldn’t have to decide between love or my career. It made me feel like a chickenshit, and that made me do two things I’d never done. It made me lie to my best friend, and it made me run.

  “I have to head back to D.C. earlier than I thought. Dani is up in my rear end about the workload she’s shouldering while I’m here gallivanting with you.”

  “Gallivanting? I doubt Dani ever used that word. Besides, Dani loves me.”

  “Not enough to allow me to stay as long as I’d hoped.”

  He took me in, as if assessing my level of honesty. I didn’t budge. I had a good poker face. Not only because my family ate you alive at poker if you didn’t have one, but also because I had to have one at the DoD. It was good training for a political career where you sure as sin didn’t show what you had in your hand.

  “You’re still waiting to see Truck, though, right?” he finally asked.

  I nodded. No way I was taking off before the three of us got to clink beer bottles together. It had been way too long as it was. Thank God Truck was getting his sorry ass into town the next day. I’d stay through the Fourth and then head out. That was just a couple of days. I could handle a couple days.

  After helping Eli close up the bar and driving back to the beach house, I lay awake in my bed, thinking about the woman in the bedroom next door who seemed to fit in every perfect way with me except one. That had me tossing and turning and waking with the sea gulls.

  I went for a run on the beach, trying to chase away the haze of sleeplessness, beating my body up and down the sand before the heat hit the day. When I came back in, Ava was at the kitchen counter, still looking gray.

  “You still look like he―heck,” I told her as I pulled a water bottle from the fridge. When I looked back at her, she was eyeing me in the way Eli had the night before.

  “You don’t look so great yourself. One night at the bar do you in that bad? I thought you were Mister Party-man?” she teased, but it was with only about half her normal snark.

  “Time to throw aside the wild oats and settle down,” I told her, sitting on the barstool at the other end of the counter. “You going back to bed?”

  She shook her head. “No, I need to go into the bar and make sure we’re stocked up for tomorrow. Brady called this morning and said he’s coming to do a surprise performance on the Fourth before flying on to Phoenix.”

  That would be a huge moneymaker for the bar. Brady O’Neil had had four number one hits in the last two years singing Ava’s songs. His showing up would draw a much bigger crowd than their normal tourist Fourth of July drew. I wasn’t sure the tiny bar could handle it.

  “Let me shower; I’ll go with you. I can be your brawn while Eli is at work.”

  She put her head on her arms on the counter. “Thanks, Mac.”

  Her eyes were closed in a way that was so not Ava that I watched her with concern as I drank the water. She didn’t even open them when a door creaked down the hall, followed by Georgie appearing in the kitchen.

  Georgie’s hair was all mussed, and her eyes were still sleep-filled. She wore a tank top that showed more than it hid and a tiny pair of sleep shorts that showcased her long legs like her swimsuit had the day before. My entire body was more awake from the vision of her than it was from the run on the beach.

  She ruffled Ava’s hair, saying, “Morning.”

  Ava groaned at her, making my concern ratchet back up. Georgie seemed troubled as well, because she frowned slightly as she made her way to the Keurig.

  She’d gotten all the way to the coffee machine before she risked a glance at me.

  My body ached to kiss her again. To see if, this morning, she still tasted like the cherry blossoms blooming. Like my favorite season and my favorite fruit all in one. Her eyes drifted to my lips before she turned back to the coffeepot.

  Ava peeked out from her arms to eyeball us. “What gives?”

  “What?” Georgie and I both said at the same time.

  Ava sat up. “Please tell me you did not swag-and-bag one of my best friends, Mac.”

  “No!” Georgie and I both said again, which was not helping our case at all.

  The coffeepot started whirring, and the smell hit the air. Ava instantly put a hand to her nose, jumped down, and headed for the bathroom, passing Eli in the hall. He turned around and followed her.

  I stood, taking Georgie in from behind. Her shoulders were back, standing tall, as if she could take whatever life threw at her. Like she already had. I wanted to know more about all of that—every single bump in her road that had made her the elegant, confident woman she was now.

  “I’m going to shower,” I said instead, pulling myself away from her and the way her skin
was calling to me. Running didn’t seem like such a chickenshit thing anymore. Running felt right.

  I practically smacked into Eli as he came out of the master.

  “Ava said you were going to go to the bar with her?”

  I nodded.

  “Thanks, man. I need to put in an appearance at the office today before I take tomorrow off.”

  “What time is Truck getting here?”

  “I think his flight lands at around eleven. He should be here by two. I’ll let him know that if no one is home, go to the bar.”

  I nodded and headed for the bathroom so I could be sure to be ready when Ava was.

  ♫ ♫ ♫

  It was early afternoon by the time we were done taking stock at the bar and filling every possible crevice we could fill before tomorrow came. Ava had spent the day, white as a sheet, going back and forth between the storeroom and the office while she checked in on the stock and the extra staff and security needed with Brady showing up.

  Georgie had come with us, and she and I had done whatever Ava pointed at us to do. We brushed past each other without a word, but it felt like my body was building up enough electricity from the contact to be its own electrical storm. A storm that was waiting to be unleashed on something, anything, but especially her.

  Ava finally sat down, and I could see she was shaking.

  “Have you eaten anything?” Georgie asked, also noticing her friend’s condition.

  Ava shook her head. “Don’t say food. The smells in here are bad enough.”

  “Should I take you to the doctor?” Georgie asked.

  Ava shook her head again. “No, but I think I’m going to run to the drugstore and see if I can find something that will calm the waves down.”

  “’Kay. I’ll go with you,” Georgie said.

  Ava went and grabbed her purse from the back, and they headed for the door. “Don’t worry about me, ladies. I’ll be fine right here until Truck arrives.”

  They both turned as if they’d forgotten me. I knew for a damn fact that Georgie hadn’t. She’d been avoiding my gaze all day, just like I’d been avoiding hers. Just like she’d been avoiding me since I’d dropped her at the house yesterday after our sail and our kiss.