The Amateurs

by Sara Shepard

  Seneca decided to join in after all. ‘I guess he’s the guy version.’ Seneca pointed at a built, chiseled guy on a bench near a T-shirt stand. He wore tight hipster jeans and complicated high-tops, had a blue streak in his hair, and kept checking a huge iPhone.

  Maddox looked surprised. ‘That’s Chase Howard, from my school. His parents have houses in five countries. I would have said he was something complex that a lot of people don’t know about. Like Japanese candy that tastes like green tea.’

  Seneca watched as the kid glanced shiftily in all directions. It was like he was making sure people were checking him out. ‘I don’t see him as a deep soul.’

  Maddox chuckled. ‘And here I was going to set you guys up. He seemed like your type.’

  Seneca flinched. Was it weird to talk about dating? Or was she just thinking that because Maddox was a guy and kind of told her, earlier, that he thought she was pretty? Then again, maybe she shouldn’t read too much into that. It was probably just the heels-and-dress thing that he was into.

  She jutted her chin in the air. ‘You don’t have a clue who my type is.’

  ‘Then enlighten me.’ The corners of Maddox’s mouth pulled into a teasing smile. ‘I already know it’s not someone who likes football.’

  Seneca felt her cheeks redden. She couldn’t believe he remembered that conversation. ‘Sorry if I want someone to pay attention to me instead of what’s on TV,’ she snapped.

  ‘Yeah, but wasn’t that Super Bowl weekend?’ Maddox asked.

  ‘So?’

  ‘See, that’s what you don’t understand about guys.’ Maddox made a clucking sound with his tongue. ‘It’s the Super Bowl. Of course his eyes were going to be glued to the screen. You should be flattered he agreed to even leave the house.’ He cuffed her shoulder. ‘It’s comforting that a college girl still doesn’t get it. But don’t worry. Girls are tough to figure out, too.’

  Seneca wanted to snort. As if Maddox ever had trouble with girls! ‘I bet I’d have better luck finding your type than you’d have finding mine.’

  Maddox put his hands on his hips. ‘Go on. Try.’

  ‘Okay, then.’ Seneca peered through the crowd. A girl with long, straight blonde hair, huge brown eyes, a skimpy pink tee, and frayed white denim shorts walked in a line with three other, less pretty girls dressed just like her. ‘Her. The blonde in the middle.’

  Maddox sucked in his breath. ‘Oh. That’s Tara.’

  The name resonated in Seneca’s mind. ‘Hot-booty Tara? The runner?’

  ‘You don’t have to scream it,’ he muttered.

  ‘Why?’ A smile crept onto Seneca’s lips. ‘Do you like her?’

  Before he could answer, Tara’s head swiveled toward them. She waggled her fingers at Maddox, then hurried over gracefully. She was probably the type of girl who never tripped in heels, Seneca thought with a mixture of disdain and envy. ‘Maddy!’ Tara said when she got close. ‘I didn’t know you were coming tonight.’

  Maddox shrugged. ‘Decided at the last minute.’ He gestured at Seneca. ‘This is my friend Seneca.’

  Tara’s eyes narrowed at Seneca’s dress and heels, but then her gaze snapped back to Maddox. She touched the cotton candy still on his stick. ‘Did you actually eat this? I thought your body was a temple.’ She tittered girlishly, edging closer to him. Maddox moved slightly but pointedly away. Only Seneca caught the pained look on his face … and the enamored look on Tara’s. And that’s when she got it: this beautiful girl was crazy about him.

  She tried to see Maddox as Tara might. He was certainly nice and tall. His green eyes kind of shone in the diffused light of the fair, and his hair was especially wavy in the humid air. The blinking carnival lights showed off the edges of his jaw and cheekbones, and his shoulders were broad, even if he wasn’t quite so built as Brett. Even the soft gray Giants T-shirt he’d changed into looked sexy suddenly, when before Seneca had just thought it seemed sort of blah and predictable. She blinked furiously, trying to get her old vision of Maddox back, but it was as though Tara’s presence had transformed him – now all she could see was Cute Guy.

  Tara touched his forearm again, saying something about a 5K race. Maddox pulled away once more. He still had the polite smile, but he kept rubbing his thumb and middle finger together, a tense tic Seneca had noticed before. She found an appropriate pause and edged in closer. ‘Uh, Maddox? I think I’ve smoked too much weed. Can you take me home?’

  Maddox gave Seneca a brief, confused look, but then seemed to get it. ‘Of course.’ He nodded to the girl. ‘See you later. Have fun tonight.’

  ‘Call me!’ Tara cried after them.

  Seneca yanked his arm around a series of booths and finally came to a stop behind a cart that sold strudel. Maddox leaned against a trash can and breathed out. ‘Good save. You’re an awesome wingman.’

  Seneca bit her lip. She felt kind of annoyed being called a wingman, especially after being in the presence of such a pretty girl. ‘Yeah, well, I was getting sick of your big-man-on-campus act,’ she muttered.

  He crossed his arms over his chest. ‘You mean you weren’t impressed?’

  ‘No,’ she snapped. ‘I’m not into big egos.’

  Seneca knew her tone was snooty and superior, but she hadn’t expected the wounded look on Maddox’s face. ‘Right,’ he said. ‘I guess for a college girl like you, I’m a total jackass.’

  Seneca lowered her eyes. She didn’t know why she’d said that. She hadn’t meant to hurt him. ‘Actually, I’d have to be enrolled in college for you to call me a college girl.’

  Maddox stared at her in puzzlement. ‘Wait, what? Did you drop out?’

  Seneca studied some ants devouring a watermelon rind. ‘Not really. But forget it.’

  Maddox frowned. ‘Come on, Seneca. You can tell me. You used to tell me everything.’

  She glanced at him. Used to. Yeah, online. When she’d thought he was someone completely different. But suddenly, she did want to tell him. She needed to tell someone. And after their encounter with Kevin, she didn’t want to pretend she was something she wasn’t.

  ‘So you know how I told you I was struggling in school?’ She sighed. ‘I’m kind of … beyond struggling. Failing everything is more like it. My advisor pulled me aside before spring break and said I should take a little break from school, regroup, and come back next year.’

  Maddox chewed on his lip. ‘Shit. Did you tell your family?’

  ‘Hell no. I put my stuff in storage because I didn’t want to move home over spring break and tell my dad.’ She tried to chuckle, like this was all just a silly misunderstanding that could be easily straightened out, but the laugh caught in her throat. ‘U of M is his alma mater. He was so excited when I got in – especially when I got a scholarship. After everything I’ve been through … it seemed like this huge victory.’

  Maddox’s throat bobbed. He looked like he wanted to ask all kinds of questions, but Seneca was happy he didn’t give in to the temptation. ‘So what do you want to do?’

  ‘I don’t know.’ She fiddled with her necklace. ‘I went to college because it seemed so healthy and wholesome. It’s what he wanted for me. What everyone wanted for me.’ She was the success story after all. The girl who’d been through so much but had also managed to get a 4.0 GPA, an almost perfect score on her SATs, and a full ride to Maryland’s state school. Her hands trembled as she smoothed down her dress. ‘But college doesn’t feel right at all.’

  Maddox looked bowled over. ‘Maybe you’re at the wrong college.’

  Seneca wished it were that easy. She wished there was some ideal place for her where everything just felt … right. And then, she realized: being here, in Dexby, questioning Kevin – this felt right. The hot feeling in her chest that usually never left had subsided tonight, she noticed for the first time. But it wasn’t like she could do this with her life, be some kind of professional Veronica Mars-style PI or something. Life wasn’t a TV show.

  When she looked up again, Maddox
was staring at her sympathetically, his eyes crinkling at the corners. It looked like he was going to say something nice – maybe something achingly nice. She wasn’t sure if she deserved that right now.

  A figure emerged at the corner of her eye and she leapt up, glad for the distraction. ‘Tara at ten o’clock!’ she cried, dragging Maddox to his feet. ‘And she’s coming our way!’

  ‘I’m outta here.’ Maddox turned and scampered in the other direction. Giggling, Seneca chased after him toward the bounce house. Zigging and zagging, they raced around the Time Machine ride, which featured antiquated drawings of flying cars. Seneca gasped for air as she tried to keep up with him, sprinting by a photo booth that said Visit Your Past! where people were dressed up in turn-of-the-century petticoats, wide-brimmed bonnets, and pants with suspenders.

  She stopped to catch her breath, suppressing a laugh. She’d just literally run past the future and the past. It was like some benevolent God was trying to teach Seneca a lesson, tell her that she needed to deal with her issues. Well, maybe she would, eventually. But right now, staying in the present was feeling pretty good.

  CHAPTER 17

  Wednesday morning, Maddox heard breakfast sounds in the kitchen and started down the stairs. Seneca was seated next to Madison at the kitchen table, dressed in a heather-gray T-shirt and pale blue polka-dotted pajama pants. She had her hair pulled up, and the leaping dolphin temporary tattoo she’d gotten at the carnival was still affixed to the back of her neck. In a fit of silliness, they’d picked ironic tattoos for one another. Maddox’s was a peeing Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes on his bicep.

  Madison, who had on pink skinny jeans and a filmy black top that already smelled like weed, was doing her usual ask-fifty-thousand-questions-all-at-the-same-time routine, grilling Seneca about an after-school job and what her favorite bands were. When she asked Seneca if she liked college, Maddox caught her eye and raised his eyebrows.

  Seneca pointed at him warningly. Don’t say a word, she mouthed over Madison’s shoulder.

  Maddox held up his hands in surrender. Then he held up the coffee carafe. ‘Want some more?’

  Seneca held out her mug. ‘Yes, please. You people make it so weak it’s practically decaf.’ She looked discouragingly at the bag of grounds. ‘And it’s not Fairtrade.’

  Maddox scoffed. ‘You think the funnel cake you ate last night was Fairtrade?’

  ‘I needed something to refuel from burning off a zillion calories running away from your girlfriend.’ Seneca rolled her eyes at Madison.

  ‘Don’t listen to her.’ Maddox snagged a donut from the box on the counter.

  Madison remained at the table, smiling sagely. ‘You know, you two are super-cute.’

  ‘Why, thank you!’ Seneca said.

  Maddox rolled his eyes. ‘She means us, Seneca. Together.’

  Seneca snorted out a laugh. ‘Please.’

  But when Maddox and Seneca both looked back at Madison, she was staring at both of them with a dreamy half-smile. ‘You’ve got it all wrong,’ Seneca said as she headed for the powder room in the hall. ‘Maddox likes someone with a hot booty.’

  ‘Lies, all lies,’ Maddox shouted after her.

  When the bathroom door shut, Maddox pointed at his stepsister. ‘Don’t try to be Cupid, okay? Things started out weird enough between us. I’m only finally feeling like our friendship is getting back to normal.’

  Madison blinked innocently. ‘I didn’t say anything.’

  ‘I know what you’re thinking.’ Maddox had had fun with Seneca last night. More fun than he’d had in a while. Because they were so different, the whole situation felt … safe. Cool. The last thing he needed was for Madison to screw that up. He wasn’t sure he’d ever had a girl as a friend.

  ‘So then you don’t find her cute at all?’ Madison cried.

  Maddox glared at the closed bathroom door. Madison wasn’t even trying to be quiet. ‘Of course she’s cute,’ he whispered. ‘But she wouldn’t be into me anyway. We’re too different.’

  Madison crossed her arms over her chest. ‘Why’d you tell her you were into your coach?’

  Maddox frowned, then realized why Madison had assumed Seneca had been talking about Catherine when she said Maddox likes someone with a hot booty. He started to correct her that it was Tara Sykes he’d run from, but then Seneca emerged from the bathroom, and the conversation didn’t feel appropriate.

  Catherine. Actually, he had a coaching session in a half-hour; he couldn’t cancel again. How should he play this? He’d never been in a predicament where a girl had rejected him – and, okay, maybe it was sort of bothering him, the incident playing over and over in his mind like a crappy refrain. But whatever – Catherine wouldn’t bring it up again. They’d just forget about it, and soon enough they’d be comfortably coach and student again, the universe back on its axis.

  He had nothing to worry about.

  Twenty minutes later, Maddox pulled into the parking lot at the rec center, checked his reflection in the rearview mirror, and got out of the Jeep. It was freezing outside, and he hadn’t brought a warmer layer over his tee. The smell of the pines assaulted him, fragrant and strong.

  Catherine instantly appeared from behind the bleachers like she’d been lying in wait. ‘Let’s go inside, shall we?’ she said in a neutral tone he’d never heard before, gesturing to the entrance to the indoor track. ‘We need to talk.’

  Maddox stiffened. Talk?

  Catherine had a sober look on her face as she walked. All sorts of scenarios wound through Maddox’s mind. What if what he did got him in trouble? Maybe Catherine was so weirded out she didn’t want to work with him anymore. Would his college future be in jeopardy? Catherine had been hugely influential in convincing the Oregon coach to give him a scholarship – her family had connections at the school, which she’d used to persuade the Oregon coach to review his times and watch a video of his best races.

  The indoor track was empty, and their footsteps echoed on the bouncy red floor. Catherine, who also worked as an athletic director here, led him all the way into her office, a small room tucked into the girls’ locker area. It was filled with schedules of the summer track team she coached. At the back was a small desk littered with papers, and there were a few medals piled on a dusty shelf. The air smelled musty and astringent, like Ajax.

  Catherine perched on her desk and looked at him. ‘You missed practice yesterday.’

  Maddox blinked, surprised. ‘Sorry. I’ll make up for it. Run double today.’

  She waved her hand. ‘It’s fine. I just wanted to make sure you were … okay.’

  There was a sensitive but possibly patronizing look on her face, but Maddox grinned confidently like he hadn’t noticed. ‘I’m awesome. I missed yesterday because I had plans. I should’ve explained.’

  ‘Kevin Larssen’s engagement party, right?’

  He raised his eyebrows, surprised. ‘Yeah. How did you know?’

  ‘Because I belong to that country club, too. My family knows the Larssen family.’ She smiled. ‘It was a nice party, huh?’

  Maddox rolled his jaw. Had Catherine been there? ‘I didn’t see you,’ he said slowly.

  Catherine’s smile didn’t waver. ‘I came late. I saw you in the parking lot – I think you were leaving. Did you have fun?’

  He shrugged. ‘Sure.’

  ‘Were you there with friends?’

  ‘Uh-huh. And my stepsister.’

  ‘And that Seneca girl? The one you were worried about?’

  ‘Yeah …’

  ‘Is she the half-black girl? With you in the parking lot? You guys went off together.’

  A warm sensation washed over his skin. She’d been watching him? What, was she jealous now?

  ‘She’s really pretty.’ Catherine’s smile quirked. ‘I thought you had a thing for older women, though. Authority figures.’

  She fluttered her eyelashes. Maddox struggled to shift gears. Had she changed her mind about being with him?

&nbs
p; ‘I was scared when I pushed you away the other day,’ Catherine said softly, her breath warm on his cheek. ‘But I can’t stop thinking about you. I can’t stop thinking that I made the wrong decision and that I let what could be an amazing thing go.’

  Maddox took stock of her gaze. There wasn’t any playfulness there. Her eyes were intense and smoldering. ‘Um,’ he said, finally finding his voice. ‘Okay …’

  A small, ethical part of him wanted to ask her if she was sure, but he’d dreamed about this for years – how could he pass up the opportunity if she wanted him, too? So he leaned closer. Touched her shoulders. Pulled her toward him, closing the space between them, sliding his hands down her slender back and then just under the hem of her shirt, feeling her arch into him. Finally, he pressed his lips to hers.

  He tasted the ChapStick on her lips, felt her shift and moan softly against him. She deepened the kiss quickly. Was he doing this right? He’d never made out with an older girl before. Of course he was doing it fine. She wasn’t stopping, was she? Why couldn’t he just turn his brain off and enjoy this?

  As they broke apart, breathing deeply, Catherine shot him a sexy smile, and he pulled her right back in. He’d been overthinking things for way too long. He needed to break the habit.

  Nothing a little practice wouldn’t fix.

  CHAPTER 18

  Later on Wednesday, Aerin clonked down all three tiers of her patio and padded several paces into the yard. That was as far as she went, though. Even five years later, Helena’s ghost ruled the property. Aerin could almost see her by the deck, rolling an imaginary snowball. Or near the sleek, orb-shaped bird feeder, telling Aerin that Cap’n Crunch was a good puppy name. Aerin envisioned the red leather gloves she’d found at the edge of the woods. Had Mystery Dude ripped them off her and thrown them into the snow? Didn’t he know they’d cost 300 bucks at Bergdorf’s?