‘So I’m no longer the tangy mess I once was?’
‘’Course you’re not, silly lad,’ she said, feeling relieved that he did look much better. She’d never wished to be seen going out with him when he was a gangly youth with messy skin. ‘You have greatly improved if not as handsome as some of those GIs.’
‘Ah, am I the wrong man for you then, not being that fellow you desperately wanted?’
Joanne felt a waft of embarrassment. Had she said entirely the wrong thing by mentioning those Yanks? ‘Are you asking me to confess that I’m in love with one of them? Oh, dear, would that make you jealous?’ she remarked teasingly.
‘Why would I not be?’ Then, pulling her closer, he gave her cheek a gentle kiss. Instantly Joanne pushed him away, her heart hammering with fury at how he dared do such a thing, and marched back to their table at the side of the ballroom. Steadfastly avoiding meeting his shrewd gaze as he settled beside her, she felt alarmed when he continued to question her.
‘Does that GI still fancy you and do you believe he’ll send word for you to join him in America? Please tell me, as I do feel the need to know.’ He asked the question quietly, a kindness very evident in his grey eyes.
‘I very much doubt it,’ she responded sternly. A part of her felt as if she wished to weep. How could she confess her need for Teddy because of the problem she was suffering, having missed three monthly periods? She couldn’t risk losing hope of him sending for her, not after all the time they’d spent together, let alone how she desperately wanted him to accept her as his adoring wife after what he’d done to her. Feeling far too locked up in anguish to think of a suitable response and wishing to escape this issue, she quickly changed the subject. ‘Tell me what you were involved in during the war, not having been called up.’
He gave a grin. ‘I was enrolled as a fourteen-year-old by the Home Guard, trained and provided with a dispatch rider’s Army trade badge. I constantly cycled around delivering important messages as instructed. We were at first a bit short of weapons but were trained to march and drill with a form of dummy rifles. Eventually we did have proper firearms supplied, and a special khaki uniform complete with an LDV armband. I was happy to be a local defence volunteer, happy to do my bit to help the various troops and protect our area. Keeping a watch for the possible invasion of the enemy over the sea was also an important part of our day.’
‘How brave of you. So what do you plan to do with your life now this war is over? Will you take up sailing and fishing? And have you found anyone who fancies you?’
‘What a question!’ Remaining silent for some moments, he sat sipping his half-pint of beer. Joanne suspected that she’d asked the wrong question, never having seen or heard him going off on a date with any other girl. Did that make him feel unwanted and lonely, which may account for why he kept asking her out as well as these personal questions? Perhaps he felt the need to find himself someone to care for him, having lost his parents. Then his next comment completely stunned her.
‘I don’t have a girlfriend but am quite fond of you, and concerned over what you suffered. The truth is, Joanne, I saw what that GI did to you down on the beach that day. I suspect he may have left you in a sorry state, in which case if you’re in need of saving your reputation by finding yourself a respectable man to marry and protect you, may I apply for that position?’
Evie was up like a lark first thing every single morning. On the first Monday in this job she’d spent the entire day attempting to locate all the addresses on the list, having walked for hours around parts of Castlefield and Salford. Now, knowing where she had to call, she’d knock on doors then politely ask for the payments due. Some folk would readily or sulkily provide the money; others slammed the door in her face or made all manner of excuses.
‘Can’t pay at the moment. Maybe next week if I win summat. I’ll let you know,’ was a frequently typical remark.
And so it went on, day after day, week after week. Evie felt wracked with nerves every time she approached sour-looking men who viewed her with diffidence and disdain. Others proved reluctant to commit themselves, despite being impressed with her good manners. After gritting her teeth and promising to call again, she would smile and move on to the next house. As darkness fell and very often it began to rain, soaking her through, she would deliver the money she’d received to Mullins each evening, as instructed. Generally, Evie would politely point out how she’d failed to collect as much as was owed, something she was apologizing for right now.
‘I’ve done the best I can and succeeded in persuading some clients to pay up, but others don’t even answer the door or else firmly state they don’t possess the necessary funds.’
‘I assume you tell ’em when you’ll call again and that’s why they hide?’ he snapped.
Taking a breath, realizing she never said anything of the sort, Evie gave a weary smile. ‘I reckon it takes days or weeks before some can find the amount they need.’
‘You ain’t doing too well then. You should call twice a week at different times so they never know exactly when you’re coming. Try a bit harder to get the money off ’em that’s due.’
‘I doubt that will work, or that I’m very good at this job.’ Evie felt she was working hard, yet Mullins didn’t seem prepared to give her the slightest praise for her efforts, or be very helpful. But then, as he had clearly explained to her, she was required to do as he ordered. And he was most rude by constantly complaining that she fell short of his impossibly high standards. Giving him a polite smile, she went on to say, ‘You clearly have a low opinion of my worth. Night after night you complain. I can see this must be a problem for you but I feel worn out by working hard in this so-called part-time job, and failing to achieve whatever you demand. Pestering people too often doesn’t seem to work. You should probably have employed a young man, not me.’
Harold’s face darkened. ‘I’m not in favour of chaps. Much prefer a woman to work for me. I reckon you’ll improve if you do as I say.’
‘Whether or not you’ll admit it, you’re losing money hand over fist. Same as Mr Eccles is, the mill being outdated so ’appen if you’d listened to the suggestions I made, I might have kept that job and helped him to improve it. Please let me have it back, I’d much prefer that job to this one, as many other women would, since we love working in a textile factory. I’d be much better at that.’
His face was purple as he glowered at her, a blue line around his lips, and for a moment she was fearful he might actually be about to hit her. But taking a huge indrawn breath and showing a great effort of will, he brought his temper under control. ‘I’m damned if I’ll allow you to tell me how to run things at t’mill, or in this business of mine. I’ve no financial problems, am doing fine, but need to earn more as I too could ultimately lose my job if the mill closes down. Tha’ll have to mek sure tha does better, or you’ll lose yer flamin’ house as well as this job.’
He slammed his door shut in her face and Evie turned on her heel and stamped away. What a difficult man he was. It came to her that renting this house off Harold Mullins meant she was completely under his control. But no alternative properties were available, and she’d failed to find other work. Dreading to think how much worse this job could become she made a vow to keep searching for more suitable employment as well as a better house. Meanwhile, she had to accept reality and keep on working for this man to earn money to care for her family, once they all arrived. Oh, hopefully they would come home soon.
Joanne felt as if she was drenched in confusion, having unbelievably heard Bernie’s offer. The idea he’d seen what happened that day on the beach when Teddy had made love to her before dashing away, left her frozen with anguish. Why on earth would he offer to marry her simply because of a difficult situation he suspected she was in. No doubt that was because being a local defence volunteer in the Home Guard, bravely doing his bit during the war when he was young, he still felt the necessity to protect people.
It was Teddy, the man
she loved, whom she wished to marry, certainly not their aunts’ nephew. He couldn’t provide her with any sort of future that would appeal or make her happy, save for a form of protection and security. Being a mixed-up lad with no well-paid job, why would she care about him? The only thing she could find in his favour was his improved appearance. He was better looking now he was older, for all he was still a bit lean and obsessed with doing his duty. But how could he truly prove to be in love with her?
Now, as she walked alone by the shore feeling a benign coolness with the promise of autumn in the air, her eyes scanned the silvered water and golden sand, as if expecting Teddy to appear at any moment. Whenever she thought of him, the ache in her heart became increasingly painful. Would that beloved man call and confess how he missed and needed her, not having realized until now how much he truly loved her? He might then decide to find a job here in Blackpool and work hard to build a future for them together.
‘Give me the chance, that’s all I ask. I do love you, darling,’ he might say. Oh, how she longed to hear that.
Pressing her stomach, it felt fairly flat and slightly painful, so when would it swell and prove her condition? Surely quite soon, a problem she struggled to block out of her mind.
She gave a sigh, wishing her dream of Teddy’s return to beg her to marry him would become a reality. If the days were difficult, her nights were even worse. She was haunted by the memory of the smiles he gave her, the touch of his lips, the caress of his hands, as if he was here beside her. She dreamed of Teddy all night long, and each morning when she woke, Joanne would remember that he was nowhere around. Turning her face into her pillow, she would cry silent tears of despair, all too aware of her problem.
Being so wrapped up in these dreams she had no serious belief in Bernie’s apparent fondness for her. ‘How can you make such a ridiculous offer? I think you must be teasing me,’ she’d gently scolded him, feeling a desire to give him a dismissive giggle but had cautiously avoided doing that.
‘I believe you’re in need of serious care and assistance,’ he’d firmly informed her. ‘I’m fully aware of your sense of independence and difficult situation but you are a sweet and lovely girl and I’m – well – as I said, most fond of you. Please consider my offer as I’m sure your affection for me will grow too. My intentions are entirely honourable.’
‘No doubt as a sense of duty, which I’ve no intention of accepting,’ she’d stated firmly.
When he’d fallen silent she’d made a firm decision to look after herself. For Bernie to imagine she would come round to growing fond of him, he must be living in cloud cuckoo land.
Now, Joanne stood staring out to sea in abject misery. A chill washed through her, rippling down her spine and making her shiver with cold, as she desperately searched for a shred of hope. Her life was proving to be heart-rending and desperately lonely, having lost the man she loved, and also members of her family. Somehow she must learn to summon up the ability to find a way of coping with her sense of loss, and deal with this worse problem she had. Being pregnant with no hope of finding a husband could be a total disaster to her life. Not at all a pleasant prospect. The only way to cope was to meet reality head on and make a sensible decision. Should she give up all expectation of finding happiness and respectability, snatch at the fondness Bernie allegedly felt for her and accept his offer to protect her? Could he be the answer to her prayers? Life could be a vale of tears, not a bed of roses.
Chapter Nine
September 1945
‘I can’t believe this dratted war is finally over, after all these years,’ Evie said, giving a huge sigh of relief as she sat enjoying a coffee in Campfield Market with her niece whom she hadn’t seen for ages, being so busy. ‘The atomic bomb in Japan sounded like an absolute tragedy but it’s such a relief to hear they’ve surrendered and it’s finally over, a situation we’ve all longed for.’
‘It’s wonderful and we’ll soon be celebrating VJ Day, even more of a treat than VE Day back in May,’ Cathie told her, giving a warm smile. ‘The authorities are saying they will no longer feel nervous about allowing children to return home now feeling assured they’ll be safe, and plan to start sending them over the next few weeks. When do you reckon yours will come?’
‘I’ve been informed that Danny will be arriving soon. I can hardly wait for that day.’
‘What about your lovely girls, will they return home too?’
With a wrinkle of concern, Evie gave a small shrug. ‘No idea. I’m now off to speak to the billeting officer again and can but hope he’s managed to find them. Of course I write regularly to Danny and am so looking forward to welcoming all my family home, particularly now that I’m renting a proper house instead of a one-roomed flat.’
Cathie blinked in surprise. ‘Really, how did that come about?’
Evie briskly informed her niece of her new address and how she was renting it from Harold Mullins who’d provided her with a much-needed job, even though it was not one she much enjoyed doing.
Cathie met this information with a slight frown. ‘From what I remember, my mother having known him in the past when she worked at the mill, he’s not an easy man to deal with. He can be very arrogant and, of course, Mam has something of an insatiable sexual appetite, which he found quite accommodating, if you catch my drift. She sensibly evaded the attention he offered and turned him down, so do take care, Aunty.’
‘I’ll definitely never allow him to attach himself to me,’ Evie firmly remarked. ‘I agree he is a bit bossy and this job he’s granted me isn’t easy, taking into account what he instructs me about demanding payments. Anyroad, I have to bear in mind the benefit of this house he’s let to me. It’s some distance from the wharfs where I first lived, let alone the mill where I used to work, but I’m settled in and have done a lot of work to clean and tidy it, gratefully assisted by Davie who did some decorating for me, bless him. You’re welcome to come and see it any time, love. Right now, I can hardly wait for the moment Danny will arrive. Then hopefully my girls and Donald will come soon too.’
Evie called to see the billeting officer, eagerly hoping he’d found her daughters. ‘My family is surely due home and I’ve managed to find a house to rent that can accommodate them and my invalid husband. Do you know when that might happen and where they all are? I’m fully aware of where my son lives but how do I find my daughters, who I’ve sadly lost contact with?’
‘Sometimes accommodation is only temporary,’ he delicately confessed. ‘Billeting officers had to dash around begging people to offer foster care for evacuees, doing their best to find appropriate billets in cottages, farms or grand houses, but it didn’t always work out as well as we expected. Some folk would happily agree; some felt they were being forced into accepting these children; others would do it just because they liked being paid good money. They would often complain if evacuees objected to what little they did for them and many children would find themselves frequently moved on. That could be because some youngsters wet beds, suffered from eczema or other problems.’
‘I remember hearing that my girls had been badly treated through no fault of theirs,’ Evie stoutly responded. ‘I fetched ’em home, but when the bombs came they were naturally re-evacuated. Where the hecky thump were they sent?’
He gave a cough and an apologetic little sigh. ‘I’d like to tell you that evacuation was organized most efficiently, but sadly it wasn’t that simple. Keeping track of evacuees’ movements has not been easy. They were generally ordered to send a postcard from wherever they’d been billeted and notices would be stuck up on the house or school stating where they were being held. But this plan did sometimes go wrong, posters and cards often getting lost.’
‘Or restrained by selfish people.’
‘True, and, as I said, children were frequently moved on. I’ll make more enquiries, so far having received no details. We can but hope your family will turn up one day in Manchester and find you, Mrs Talbert. Thankfully the war in the East is now ove
r so it could only be a little while before they’re allowed home. I’ll let you know if and when I find out anything about them, dear lady.’
Evie thanked him and walked away, doing nothing to wipe the tears that fell from her eyes. If only she had a clue how and where to search for them. At least aware of Danny’s address, she quickly wrote her son a warm letter saying how much she longed to see him and that she would be waiting for him at Victoria Station whenever his local billeting officer sent him home. Oh, but how she ached to see her daughters. And of course her darling husband.
Aunt Annie surprised Joanne one day by asking if she and Bernie were becoming something of a match. ‘Are you falling in love with our nephew, Joanne?’
Startled by this question, she shook her head. Was he the kind of man she could look upon as possibly good husband material? Would these ladies approve if she did accept his offer, even though she didn’t love him? ‘I swear I have no strong feeling for Bernie, and I suspect that accepting his offer of marriage would be entirely wrong for me, Aunt.’
‘Ah, so he has proposed to you?’ Annie said, giving her a sparkling smile.
‘Oh, I assumed he’d told you that,’ Joanne said, furious with herself for having stupidly mentioned this possibility that so occupied her brain. She kept wondering whether the comfort she felt whenever he took her for a walk or kissed her cheek would ever result in her growing fond of him. Should she explain how she’d lost the man she truly loved and may be carrying his baby, therefore this offer of marriage could be ideal? Deciding against that, she politely said, ‘Bernie is most caring and fun. He does claim that he adores me and wishes to build us a happy future together. I’m still quite young and with a situation I need to sort out, not least finding my family.’
Peace In My Heart Page 7