Peace In My Heart

by Freda Lightfoot

  He sounded not at all polite and, aware of the problems he’d caused for Danny, this invitation was not at all welcome. However, as those two lads were now allegedly reformed friends and Willie was the son of her mother’s employer, it didn’t seem appropriate for her to refuse.

  He held her rather tightly in his arms, saying how pretty she was and most charming. Joanne was wearing the red satin frock Mam had bought her for Christmas. Very special. Megan was prettily attired in that pleated blue dress with the neat lace collar her mother had made for her. Making no response to this comment, she teasingly asked, ‘Have you come with a girlfriend to this party or simply your father?’

  ‘I came with my latest conquest, a young girl of seventeen I’ve recently been dating. I’ve chucked her now, having got bored with her.’

  Joanne felt a strong desire to giggle at this comment. What a self-opinionated young lad he was. No doubt that poor girl had become equally bored with him. He was quite smartly attired in a brown checked suit, white shirt and bright blue tie, his dark hair slicked very tight and short above his broad forehead. But there was something slightly discomforting about his cocky attitude. Nor was he very good at dancing, bearing a tension in his face as he stepped back and forth, swinging up and down and often treading on her toes. Joanne bit her lip, attempting not to say ‘ouch’ whenever that happened. His hold on her was growing tighter, pressing his hand hard upon the back of her waist, so that she endeavoured to create a safer distance between them.

  Looking around, she could see that her mother was now dancing with his father and met her weary gaze with a blink of sympathy in her own, neither of them apparently enjoying the experience. No doubt Harold’s request had sounded very like a summons, very much the last person on earth she’d wish to dance with. No wonder she badly missed her husband being present.

  When the dance thankfully ended, Joanne gave Willie a nod and turned to walk away, but he caught hold of her arm to prevent her leaving.

  ‘I’m not against us having another dance, or if yer fed up wi’ dancing we could we go for a walk instead, eh?’

  Giving him a glance of disbelief, Joanne firmly shook her head. ‘Don’t be ridiculous. It’s a cold winter’s evening and we’re here to enjoy this dance and party, so why would I agree to do that?’

  Swinging his eyebrows up and down and sliding his tongue around his lips, he playfully said, ‘I could give you a little pleasure and keep you warm if you did.’

  ‘No thank you,’ she tartly remarked.

  As the next music started, he pulled her close and gave her a kiss, pressing his sweaty mouth against hers. Utterly shocked, Joanne pushed him away and slapped his face. ‘How dare you! You’ve no right to do that to me.’

  He grinned cheekily at her. ‘I’m a man and you’re a woman, so why would I not have that right?’

  Joanne gave a snort of disapproval, all too aware of her determination not to allow any man to fondle her after what she’d suffered in the past. Strangely, she remembered the fun she’d enjoyed with Bernie at the Tower Ballroom and how he was much better at dancing than this stupid lad, and had never done anything rude or inappropriate to her. If only he was here instead of this idiot. Realizing what a conceited young lad this was, his tone of voice quite sharp and arrogant, she made the decision to be appropriately dismissive of him. ‘You’re a silly young lad, not a sensible grown man,’ she said and, giving him a dismissive laugh, marched away.

  When she reached her sister, Megan welcomed her with a wry grimace. ‘Hope you’re OK, sis. I saw what that lad did to you. I don’t like the look of him either.’

  Fortunately, Willie seemed to have found himself another girl to dance with and to her delight Joanne saw her mother dash over to the door, her father having arrived. That was so good to know. Evie slipped her arm in his, kissed his cheek and moved happily into his arms for the last waltz. What a delight it was to see them enjoying this dance and such a treat to find her entire family together at last. Even Megan looked happy watching them, as did Danny.

  The evening ended with the tune ‘Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas’, which had been sung by Judy Garland in the film Meet Me in St Louis back in 1944. The two sisters and Danny happily joined in the singing. What a fun evening it had been.

  Evie found it wonderful to have her entire family home for Christmas, making this very much a precious time. And her husband had made love to her following that dance. What a delight that was, a desire in him that had not appeared for such a long time. Not sleeping in the same bed didn’t help so she made a decision to look into changing that, and lived in hope that his emotional need for her would continue. Right now she must concentrate on preparing for Christmas.

  She’d baked a cake and a Christmas pudding, bought a reasonable size of goose for their Christmas dinner. She’d also purchased a small Christmas tree, pinned paper chains upon it and decorated everything with tinsel, even stitched a new lace frock for the small fairy she always stuck on the top of it. Joanne had helped her to hang strips of paper chains around the walls. It was not easy making this small, miserable house look attractive and there was even a slightly sour smell, no doubt because it was a bit cold. Being the only one she’d found available it was at least convenient, situated close to Deansgate and the city centre, so she sternly reminded herself not to worry as she’d done her best to decorate and improve it.

  On the day before Christmas – her birthday, and having been named after Christmas Eve – she rose early to prepare breakfast, planning to bake some mince pies. It was when Evie reached for a loaf and started hacking off chunks of bread for toast, the kitchen feeling damp and dark, that she attempted to turn on the light and found the electricity had stopped working. The taps had too, no water coming out of them. Perhaps that was because being December this house was freezing cold. It was then that she noticed rain running under the door soaking the kitchen rug and that a hole had burst open in the white painted kitchen wall, rain pouring down it. The black range, usually alive with bright fire, was also dead. It generally provided much-needed heating and cooking too was done on this coal-fired kitchen range. Now nothing seemed to be working at all. She felt baffled about why all these problems had come about and how to resolve them.

  ‘It’s flamin’ cold. Light this bloody fire, woman. You should keep us warm,’ Donald snapped, walking into the kitchen.

  ‘I’ll light the fire,’ Danny said quickly. ‘Oh, the coal scuttle is empty.’

  Picking it up, Evie rushed off down the backyard to refill it and was shocked to find their coal-place was empty, not a scrap of coal left. The coal rationing allowed them only two and a half tons in total per year and what she earned didn’t always provide her with sufficient to buy more than a small amount at a time. Evie would normally put just a few pieces of coal on the fire in the range on cold evenings, dampening it down at night and during the day when she was out. Now that her husband was in need of being kept warm in this freezing cold weather, running out of coal was not a good prospect for him, let alone losing the possibility of being able to cook the Christmas dinner.

  But why had all the coal disappeared when she’d recently bought sufficient for the holiday, and why had the electricity gone off too? Oh dear, had she not paid the necessary bills? Evie generally had to give the money to Harold as he was the owner. She must check that and somehow find more coal, otherwise Christmas could be a complete disaster.

  ‘We’ve no coal left,’ she announced sadly, shivering as she dropped the empty scuttle back by the range. ‘Where it has gone, I’ve no idea.’

  Danny gave a furious scowl. ‘Actually, I saw Harold Mullins in our yard yesterday, ’appen he’s taken it.’

  ‘Oh, my God, you could be right, Danny. He is a difficult, selfish man. I suspect he didn’t pay our electricity bill either, despite my handing him the necessary money due.’

  ‘Bloody ’ell, what a bastard he is,’ Donald snarled. ‘You should stop working for him, Evie.’

&
nbsp; ‘I wish I could. Right now we’ll just have to knuckle to, clean up the freezing rain spilling everywhere and do what we can to be festive, despite this mess,’ she stoutly remarked. ‘With no electricity we can light the odd candle, as we did during the war. Though how do we keep warm with no coal for the range and upon which I need to cook?’

  ‘I’ll go and find some coal or wood, Mam. I’ll scour the canal and railway sidings to pick up what bits I can find. Leave that to me,’ Danny said. He grabbed a sack from the shed and dashed off in search. Megan staunchly scurried out with him.

  ‘What a treasure he is,’ Evie said. ‘But poor Megan. She’s still missing all her friends and has been sent to a school that doesn’t seem to appeal to her, let alone having suffered a sense of neglect during the war. Now she’s facing another awful mess. This being our first Christmas together in years I’d hoped it would be the best. It could be Christmas from hell if I can’t cook a good dinner or keep us warm. Why does everything go wrong despite my best efforts?’ She found depression sliding over her and tears blocking her eyes.

  ‘Shall I go find that bleedin’ man and give him a belt to make the point we need him to pay what bills he should?’ Donald snarled, giving her a cuddle.

  ‘No, love, you can leave that to me, since I’m the one who works for him. Mind you, I shall look for another job in the New Year, and if I still don’t find one will mebbe try working for myself. Why not?’

  After grabbing her warmest coat and hat, Evie went out to call on Harold Mullins and check whether he was guilty of stealing their coal, as well as not paying the due electric bills. No answer came as she knocked on his door. Shivering with cold, she peeped through the window but could see no sign of him, so where the hell was he? Feeling the need to investigate his coal situation she hurried down the road then went round the back street up to his yard. Sadly, that door too was locked, which didn’t help at all.

  Filled with panic and resentment, Evie marched away in fury. It was as she reached home that she saw Danny carrying a sack well stacked with coal and Megan carrying a box of wood. They were both happily grinning and looking rightly pleased with their success. With relief, Evie did not dare ask how or where her son had managed to do this. No doubt he’d found bits of coal and wood lying around the canal or railway sidings, or else close to some mine.

  ‘What a star you are,’ she said, giving him a hug.

  Once the fire in the range was burning well, she slid the kettle on the centre of the hob to make them all a much-needed cup of tea. Evie spent the rest of the day cleaning, baking the mince pies and doing more cooking, assisted by Joanne when she arrived. She was delighted that her elder daughter would be staying with them over Christmas, Danny prepared to sleep on the sofa bed in the living-kitchen so that the two girls could occupy the spare room. When night came, Evie made sure the fire was properly dampened down to keep a slight warmth in the house overnight. And before going to bed she boiled water to fill a solid hot water bottle for each of them, and gave them all a goodnight kiss. With delight, her beloved husband was now back sleeping with her and they again made love. What a treat that was.

  Early on Christmas morning, Evie livened the fire up, stuffed the goose in a large pan and placed it in the small oven in the range to slowly cook. She spent the next few hours happily preparing and cooking roast potatoes, vegetables, sausage, stuffing and heating the fruit pudding. When they all sat down to savour the delicious Christmas dinner, she gave her family a warm, loving smile. ‘So wonderful to have you all here. Thank goodness this hasn’t proved to be a disaster, thanks to Danny. Then turning to Donald she said, ‘A glass of sherry, dear? Oh, and here’s a large box of Gold Flake ciggies for your Christmas pressie.’

  He chuckled. ‘Eeh, what a treat. Why not? Happy Christmas, love.’

  Christmas Day proved to be uproarious, exciting and uplifting, if slightly exhausting. They listened to the choir singing on the radio, then played at jigsaws, Monopoly, quizzes and charades. Joanne proved to be excellent at this game, lifting her fingers to give an idea of the number of words and performed wonderful gestures, miming words or phrases they had to guess. It proved to be great fun. At the end of the day as they sat together on the horsehair sofa with Megan cuddled up beside her, Evie ceased to worry over the dying fire or how they would find more coal or logs, the ruined decorating, or the still damp rugs. What a lovely day it had proved to be and how wonderful it was to have spent it with her darling family.

  Chapter Eighteen

  In the days following, Evie was delighted that Megan slowly came round to being a little more friendly towards her, perhaps as a result of this lovely Christmas and the jolly excursions she’d taken her on before that. It had not been an easy time in other respects, electricity and sufficient coal still not available. Evie would make sure her daughters, son and husband wore several layers of clothing as well as providing them each with a hot water bottle to warm their feet when they went to bed. But even those would go cold by the early hours, the worst part of a winter’s night. Now, as she called at clients’ houses to collect more debts owed to Harold Mullins, she struggled to decide how best to challenge him on these dreadful issues he might well have created for them. She very much feared it was not an easy decision to make, all too aware what a difficult man he could be. Maybe she should take the responsibility for paying domestic bills, and find a lock for their coal-place.

  As evening approached and the moment she had to deliver the debt payments, she hovered by his door still struggling to find the necessary courage. It was then that she saw her niece’s friend, Brenda, walking towards her. She was a young girl she’d got to know through Cathie and for whom she’d done much to help, having heard a little of what she’d suffered in France during the war. Just as she’d helped her niece cope with her problems too.

  Brenda gave her a cheerful smile and asked if she’d enjoyed a merry Christmas. ‘You look a bit irritated. Do you have a problem?’

  Giving a sigh, Evie swiftly explained how she believed Harold Mullins had messed things up for them by robbing them of electricity and water. ‘Mebbe he’ll put the blame on me since I work for him.’ Blushing, she hesitated, not wishing to explain exactly what this illegal job entailed, carefully slipping the list of clients into her pocket.

  ‘Don’t blame yourself, it should definitely be his responsibility as the owner of that house. I agree he’s not an easy man but you’re a most protective and caring lady so don’t lose faith in yourself.’

  ‘Thank you, dear. Actually, my son said he saw Harold in our yard and suspects he also nicked our coal, all of which had vanished. Sadly, I don’t have proof of that, so I’m striving to find the courage to tackle him on that subject too,’ she said, nibbling her thumb.

  ‘Ah, I live in a flat just a few doors away and saw him carrying a wheelbarrow loaded with coal the evening before Christmas Eve. I did wonder where he’d got that from.’

  ‘Oh, my goodness, is that true?’

  ‘It is indeed. Why would I not tell you what I saw?’ Brenda said. ‘You’ve been so helpful to me over the years, I’m happy to help you too, Evie. Stand up for what’s right. If you need my support on this point, just let me know.’

  ‘Thanks, dear girl, you’ve given me exactly the courage and proof I needed,’ she said, giving a nod of appreciation as she watched her walk away.

  When Evie knocked on the door this time it was swiftly opened and Harold stood frowning before her. ‘You look a bit irritated. Have you not collected enough money from debts to hand over?’

  Evie stoutly met his sour expression with one of her own. ‘I believe I have. The thing is, Mr Mullins, I’m not sure I should hand this money over, considering the problems you caused for us over Christmas.’ She then bravely stated that as the owner of the house they rented he was probably the one who’d failed to pay the bills, despite her having handed over what she’d believed to be the right sum of money. ‘And I reckon you also nicked the coal I’d bought. No
w I’m struggling to find the money to buy more.’

  There was a moment’s silence then he burst out laughing. ‘How can you prove that?’

  ‘My son saw you take it and a friend witnessed you bringing it home on the evening before Christmas Eve, which was when we lost all our coal. So unless you can convince me of your innocence, I shall retain the sum it cost me in payment for what you stole.’ Handing over only a portion of the debts she’d collected, Evie saw fury glare in his dark eyes.

  ‘Flamin’ rubbish! You can’t keep the rest of that money. It belongs entirely to me.’

  ‘Oh, yes she can,’ said Brenda, stepping up to slip her arm through Evie’s. ‘I was that witness, so don’t for a moment think you can demand every penny back from this lady. Nor can you challenge me either. Having dealt with drastic situations in France throughout the war, nothing you say or do will scare me for a moment. I’m an expert on survival and courage.’

  ‘Don’t think you can scare me either,’ Evie remarked bravely. ‘Just accept reality by paying what you owe me, being guilty of this theft and mess-up.’

  ‘You’ll bloody well regret making such a charge,’ he roared, and slammed the door shut in her face.

  Evie spent the rest of the week searching for a new job. She called again at all factories, mills, warehouses, shops and department stores, only receiving a shake of the manager’s head, or a grumble that the country was in a mess and near bankrupt. Austerity still being very evident, businesses too were in financial difficulty. There was a rise in prices despite rationing and still the problem of a housing shortage. She found that so many factories had been destroyed or closed there was very little work available for anyone, not even men.