Broken Glass

by Pavan Kaur

  I hold onto the countertop for support. I need her to talk to me; I need her to let me help her. Wiping my hand with a towel as the blood starts escaping from my cut; I make my way to the dining table.

  I see Hope plating her food then taking a seat. I look at the two plates placed on the table, mine is full and hers empty with her fork ready to take that one mouthful. I place my hands on the table and close my eyes. If I go hard on her now, she could run, but I can’t help it. I need to focus on something else for a moment, or could the toughness work?

  I’m holding my hand when I feel something cold on my knuckles. I open my eyes as Hope wipes my hand when more blood appears. She takes something out of the first aid box. I don’t see what as I keep my eyes on her. I might not be able to see her full face, but I can see her right side. I take every little detail. I watch her eye wrinkle on the side as she focuses on my hand. I look down at my hand as she walks away from me, backing up to put the box away. Then she sits down and I push my plate away.

  “If that’s all you’re eating, then that’s all I’m eating,” I tell her. I know that I might act like the big bad wolf and bite what needs to be bitten, but not with her, not with Hope.

  I get up and take her plate to the kitchen, I place more food on it, then take it back and place it in front of her again and she just stares. I put the fork to her mouth and she opens for me and takes the first one without fighting. I bring the second forkful and nothing.

  I bring my head down a little to try and see her face. "I would like you to eat." I stop when I feel her hand on mine.

  “Can I leave the table please?”

  There are so many answers I could give to that question, but I know there is only one she wants to hear. “Yes,” I whisper. She gets up and leaves; I hear her footsteps above me, as she walks to her bedroom.

  Throwing the fork on her plate, I lean back and take today as a loss. There has to be someone that can give me some answers about her. I tap my fingers on the table as I think and that’s when it hits me.

  I take my phone out. “Jackson, be here at six, don’t be late,” I tell him. I have a feeling I’m going to need my lawyer because there’s a very big chance I’ll break the law.

  “And do I get to know why?”

  “No.” I end the call, collect the plates, walk into the kitchen and place them in the sink. I turn and walk to the stairs heading for my room, but stop in my tracks and go back to the sink. If she had a shower in cold water, does that mean she’s washing the dishes in cold water? I decide I’m going to wash them and that will help keep her hands warm, I hope.

  ***

  Leaning on the door frame, I watch Hope sleeping, again on the floor. I hear the front door opening and lean back to see Jackson walking up the stairs toward me.

  “What’s so important that I needed to get here at this hour?”

  “Shhh.” I point to Hope sleeping.

  “Seriously, this is how she sleeps?”

  "We're going to have a chat with her doctor today. Someone gave her the medication, and I want to know what else they know about her." Pushing myself off the door frame, I walk over to Hope and kneel in front of her. This seems like the only time she lets her guard down, but even when she's asleep, there's still that tension flicking through her eyes. She's dreaming and fighting something. I take a blanket from the bed and place it over her to keep her warm.

  I leave the room and go down to the kitchen to make us both some coffee.

  “Are you sure you want to do it this way…”

  “Jackson, she had a shower in cold water. I need to know what happened to her.” I hand him a mug of coffee. He locks his eyes with me and stares into them. Whatever he’s looking for, he’s looking very hard for it, but even I know that Jackson can’t read me.

  "Let me start up my laptop and see if I can find where the doctor is." Jackson turns to go sit down in the sitting room but stops when we both see Hope running towards us where we are in the kitchen.

  She stops dead in her tracks and puts her head down. "I'm sorry," she says quietly, and I look over at Jackson who's frowning as if to ask why she is saying sorry, and I mouth the words "I have no idea."

  She walks over to the cooker. “I…can bake…”

  “Hope, we don’t need anything to…” I stop when I see her hands are shaking. “But I think Jackson might be hungry.” I peer over at him looking for his support in this. There’s something programmed into her, a need to make me happy or a need to do work around the house and that is what I have to break.

  Jackson walks over to the counter and sits on the stool. "I would love something to eat." Hope walks over to the fridge, and she gets things out.

  Walking closer to her I ask, "Would you like some help?" I stop at arm's length and I take the milk from her. "Did you take your medication?" I can see her hands getting weaker, or they're getting more painful and if she doesn't talk to me I don't know which one it is.

  She places everything on the counter and I ask Jackson to go get her medication for me. While he's gone for a few minutes, I get her a glass of water. She starts mixing eggs and milk together. Jackson walks back in and I take the meds from him. I pass the bag to Hope, and she takes out what she needs before putting the bag back onto the counter.

  "I can stand here all day, so you might as well take them," I tell her, and I see her hand reach out. Her skin has been cracking up again and I think that she needs stronger medication.

  She takes them and I walk over to Jackson as he starts his laptop up. Hope gets back to making whatever she’s making.

  "Are we still on for tonight?" I ask him, and tonight I'm planning on taking my time. I want to enjoy it; I want to see the fear in his eyes.

  “Yeah, seven. I’ll text you the place.”

  I look up at Hope walking around the kitchen, again not once looking up from the floor or the stove. I wonder what her face looks like when she smiles, or how she sounds when she laughs.

  "I can serve this. Your wrists are hurting." I get off the stool and help her put everything on the plate. I take out a third plate for her. I need to start getting her to eat.

  “What we got planned for the weekend?” Jackson asks, as I sit back down and point to the stool for Hope to sit.

  “Well, I thought you were booked up with someone in your bed,” I say in a whisper, as I peer over at Jackson laughing. “More than one I take it.” Turning back over to Hope, I watch her playing with her food; I can see Jackson taking a small glance over at her again.

  "This is really good Hope. I might have to come over more for breakfast," Jackson tells her, and I see her body tense up a little. She takes a forkful of her food then pushes it to the side.

  “May I leave?” I think that’s what I hear from her, as I could barely hear her. Nodding my head, I watch her walk away to the stairs and toward her room.

  “What are you waiting for? Why don’t you just put your foot down with her?” Jackson shouts at me. Never thought I would see him get this worked up about something.

  Dropping my head, I stare at my food. “I don’t want to scare her. I thought I would see how she is, what habits I need to break, so I can make her feel like she can live again,” I say and look up as I hear footsteps. “What the fuck is she doing now?” I ask myself, as I see her walking with some clothes in her hands.

  Pushing my plate away, I stand up. This is the first time I do lose my shit with her. “No!” I shout and Hope jumps and walks to the corner of the room. “I can’t sit here and watch you acting like a servant when that’s not why you’re here." I take her clothes out of the sink, which are in fucking cold water and I throw them in the washing machine. "Some of these still have the tags on them, why?" I glance over to her, and I can see her shaking. Shit, I've messed up.

  “I need to wash…” I see her scratching her wrist and then it hits me, her skin is getting very sensitive.

  “Okay, wash them in the machine,” I tell her. I start putting the powder in, but I stop
when I see her flinch and I lock my eyes with hers, hoping that she answers the question I want to ask.

  "I can't...I need to … sensitive wash," she whispers and looks at the floor, and I look at the bottle.

  "I'll pick some up today, until then you aren't washing this by hand." I walk back out and sit next to Jackson as she walks around looking at the floor, and I observe her and smile as she doesn't bump into anything.

  "Right, we have to leave for this meeting." Jackson packs everything up. "See you later Hope." Jackson leaves the house, and I go to grab my jacket, but Hope is already standing there holding it for me.

  Today I plan on getting a lot more information about her. I want to know where she was before coming here.

  Chapter 9

  Hope

  "You've learned everything that I can teach you, get your things," Uncle Jack shouts, and I look over at the little box to the side and grab it. This is the only thing that I need and the only thing that I care about. "Now when we go meet your new owner, you know the rules."

  Giving him a nod I follow him out of the room and I can feel them here. I can feel them watching me.

  “She looks beautiful.” I hear tapping. “The payment has gone through,” I hear and my body tenses up. I feel like I’ve just lost a lot more than I thought I would. I’ve lost my whole life.

  "Good, then she's all yours." Uncle Jack grabs my arm, and I look at his grip, then back to the floor. "Enjoy," he adds and pushes me over, I bump into the man that now owns me and the cold touch of his hands makes me feel sick.

  "Oh, I will."

  We walk out of Uncle Jack's house, and I wish that I'm already back there in my little cell—at least I knew what to expect there. Who is this man? What is this monster going to do to me?

  "I'm talking to you. I won't tell you again, get in the fucking car before I spank you," he says. I bring myself out of my thoughts and without thinking I look at him only for a second but he sees, and I drop my head instantly as fear grips me. He stares back at me. I can feel his eyes boring into me. I move to the open door of the car and get in. He closes the door and walks around to the other side and once in he tells the driver to take the long way home. I sit frozen to the seat. I can hear mumbling. My mind is all over the place. I need to find a happy haven and fast.

  "Do you always do this, go off to someplace, daydream?" he asks. "Hello, you in there?" I don't speak. "I can see we are going to have fun and lots of it especially if you don't talk." He starts laughing. I thought I knew what the devil sounded like when he laughed, but he seems worse.

  Oh, God what am I going to do? I have to get away and fast.

  Chapter 10

  Leo

  Getting out of the car, I stare at the place Jackson has brought me to. I thought this was meant to be the doctors. This place doesn't appear like a doctor's surgery. The old building looks like it’s meant to be some sort of homeless shelter or something, I say to myself as I walk through the door. If I didn’t want to know about Hope, I wouldn’t be in here for a second.

  I don’t care what Hope says, or in her case doesn’t say, the moment I get home she’s going to see my doctor.

  "I know you want to say something." Jackson looks over at me as we stop by the doctor's door. He knew what this place was before we even got here. He told me he looked into the doctor as well. She is a retired doctor, trying to build a charity to help people that can't afford healthcare.

  “I think I need to work on a charity plan,” I reply, knocking on the door. I enter as I hear the doctor welcoming us in. I take a look around her office, to see the diploma’s she has hanging on the wall. I hear her introducing herself to Jackson I have my back to her.

  "We aren't here to know about what you do here. I want to know about Hope Matthews," I say turning around to face her and the doctor runs her eyes up and down me. "And before you say you can't tell me anything because of patient confidentiality shit, I don't care. I'm trying to help her, and I need to know everything about her or I can't do that."

  She walks back around her table and takes a seat. “And who are you to her?”

  I already knew this question was coming and I'm no one to her. "That is not your concern. I'm a man that can see she's more lost than anyone I've ever met and I want to bring her back. I don't know anything about her, and I'm not family to her, but—"

  "There's something about her that has pulled you in." The doctor finishes my sentence for me, and she has hit the spot with that answer. Hope has pulled me in, and I don't want her to push me out. "I do think that she needs help, but I'm surprised that—"

  “So, you’ve noticed that whole won’t look at a man thing?" Jackson interrupts her, and I glance around the office again, wanting to get a better feel for her.

  “Not just men, anyone. She won’t look at anyone in the face. The floor is the only place she looks.” She stops and starts tapping on the keyboard, then looks me straight in the eyes, holding my gaze. I have no idea what she’s looking for, but she won’t find anything. No one ever finds anything.

  There’s silence for a moment, Jackson stays quiet. He didn’t have to come. I brought him with me to make sure that I ask questions that stay within the law and I don’t take a step out of it. For some reason and at the moment I don’t know why, but when it comes to Hope, I don’t care what law I have to break to find out things about her.

  The doctor eventually says, "You have darkness around you, but I have a feeling that maybe you will be able to help her if she lets you in.”

  I hold the smile that I have, my dad always says that I have a way of finding things out. I have this look about me, a look that no woman is able to say no to and a charm that can get me out of trouble. I agree I have no idea why, but women always like a man with some mystery around them, and when I have to, I can bring on a charm that would have anyone liking me.

  “What do you know about her?” Jackson asks. He knows that if something happens to go wrong, it can’t come back to me because I never asked the questions, he did.

  "She came here nearly a year ago now, and I've never seen a person look so alone or lost before. She came to me, and her hands looked so sore, the skin was peeling off in places." She shakes her head. I can see this doctor wanted to help Hope. "I found out she had Lupus and I've been treating her since. I haven't seen her in a while, and if she wasn't coming to pick up her prescription every month, I would think something bad had happened to her."

  After a year and she still doesn’t trust the doctor. How the hell am I meant to get her to trust me?

  “Why do you think something bad would happen to her?” Jackson asks.

  "Once I did a test on her, I asked her if she liked the city, trying to get her to talk and open up to me. She sat there for a while just staring into space, then out of nowhere she turned around and told me that someone hurt her when she first got here, and I don't think she wanted to tell me anything. It felt more like she just wanted to tell someone, to get it out of her system. So, I thought that person was still after her." The doctor leans back in her chair, and her eyes come back over to me and ignoring Jackson.

  "What else can you tell me about her?" I ask this is not new information to me. I already knew someone hurt her and when I find out who that is, I'll take pleasure in watching them die in front of me.

  “She could never come to see me on a Saturday; she said that was a no as she had to visit someone important, never told me a name.”

  Now that's something that I can work with. Tomorrow is Saturday, and I'm going to tell her that she has to go see this person. If they're important to her, then she needs to keep them important. Maybe they can give me something, or I can hear something that she tells this person.

  “Thank you.” Standing up, I button my jacket. “Before we go… her treatment, is there anything else that we can do?”

  “I’d like to give her something stronger for the pain and if you can give it to her daily rather than monthly—”

  I cut her
off. “Why is it monthly now?” Why isn’t she taking her medication weekly if that’s better for her?

  “Her medication is due weekly, which has her daily dose, but she can’t afford to buy it every week, that’s why she collects monthly. I mean it’s not cheap, so she tries to go a month with a week’s worth.”

  “She’ll have them weekly. I’ll pay for them and if you can put them in my name somehow so that I can get them for her,” I tell her. No wonder Hope’s wrists are always hurting her so much. She never has enough medication in her to help her body heal.

  Jackson hands the doctor his business card. “This is the number you can contact me on if you have any questions about Hope and if you want to know anything more about Mr. Masters.” He tells her that all notes and prescriptions will come to the office from now on.

  “There is one more thing that has been bugging me,” I turn to her, “her pills only have her first name, how was she getting them without a surname on there?”

  “That was one thing she said, begged me. She said they would find her, and the fear that I could see in her eyes, I never said anything about it. I was scared for her, and I wanted to help any way I could.” She answer and I stand there for a moment thinking who she is this scared off.

  Leaving the office, I get in the car and look over at Jackson. He says, "Before you say anything, I already know. I'll see what I can find, but I have a feeling the only person that will say anything about being physically and mentally abused is Hope herself." He's right, but I can't just ask her straight, can I?

  "Are we set for tonight? I need a good night." Never have I needed to let off some steam as much as I do today. I need someone that I can torture; someone that has done so much evil in his life that I plan on bleeding it out of him.

  “Yeah, I get a feeling that this is going to be a long one. So, I’ll set it up and just let me know when you’re finished,” Jackson looks at his phone as it beeps.