by Pavan Kaur
"I walked into the restaurant, and I stopped in my tracks. I looked around to see what was happening because someone in that restaurant pulled me towards them. Then my eyes found you, and I have no idea what happened. Hope, something so strong was pulling me towards you, so strong that I couldn't stop looking at you."
I turn away from him for a moment as I wipe the tears away. His words are hitting me so hard that my emotions don’t know what to do. My heart is racing so fast that it’s scaring me; all I can think is why me? But I’m so glad he chose me even though I don’t know how to tell him.
"Hope, I don't know what happened that day at the restaurant. But I don't regret following you, I don't regret bringing you here." His finger rests under my chin, and he turns my face toward him. "I don't regret anything when it comes to you."
As much as I'm trying to hold it together, the emotions running through me come out like a silent uproar from my throat. Beads of water are falling one after the other. I've never had such a feeling of happiness before. My world has just turned into a blur. All I want to do is find a way to thank Leo for everything. I want to hug him, I want to kiss him, but my body is shutting down on me.
Pulling my sweater sleeves down, I wipe the tears away. "I don't regret staying here," I tell him. There is always the thought in my head that maybe I should leave, but my heart tells me to stay.
Leo moves closer to me. He puts his cigarette on the tray and cups my face. "I'm going to kiss you." I give a small nod, and then he's kissing me. I've gotten a taste of him now and I know I'm never going to have enough. His hand moves to the back of my neck, and he kisses me harder, deeper. It's like he needs me just as much as I need him.
He pulls away just a little, his hand moving from the back of my neck to my cheek. The softness makes my body shivers.
“If I carry on, I don’t think—”
"I want you to." Usually, the thought of a man touching me scares me, but not with Leo. His eyes meet mine. I don't see anything in them; don't know what he's thinking.
Leaning back into the chair, Leo puts out his hand, and I slowly place my hand in his. He wraps his fingers around mine and pulls me softly to him so that I'm straddling his lap. Sitting like this, so close to him feels right.
He continues to stare at me, and I don't know what I should be doing. I've always had to lie there, and that's it.
His hand strokes my thigh. "Are you okay?" His voice is quiet as his right-hand moves closer to my face. His finger softy strokes my cheekbone and my eyes close involuntarily at his touch.
“Yes... I just don’t know what—”
"Hope." I open my eyes “I won’t do anything to hurt you.”
Something in my expression must tell him that I know he won't hurt me. He places his hands under my bottom and stands up making me wrap my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist as he walks back into the house. He carries me into the sitting room, and lets go of me, and my feet hit the cold wood floor. My hands slowly move down his chest, and I can feel his muscles through the thin material of his t-shirt.
I feel Leo's hands moving to the hem of my sweater, his finger traces the skin of my stomach; his touch always feels like an electric shock and a feather at the same time, and I like it. He lifts my sweater up slowly, and I take in a sharp breath as it comes over my head, my breasts are free, but Leo's eyes are locked with mine, as his hands rest on my hips.
“You know you look beautiful," he whispers against my lips as he softly pushes me to sit down on the sofa. Kneeling in front of me Leo leans closer and kisses me, as his hands move to my PJ bottoms.
My body tenses up just a small amount, but he feels it and pulls away from me. "I won't—"
I pull him down to kiss me again. I don't want him to stop and if he asks if I'm sure then I'm going to keep thinking about the worst times and I don't want to. All I want to think about is Leo touching me.
Leo continues, his hands on my PJ bottoms pulling them, he starts kissing down my neck, as his hand rests on my stomach. I moan as I can feel his hand moving further down. It’s all so new and exciting. He moves his lips down my neck to my nipple and sucks on it, making me moan out loud and arch my back.
I tense as his mouth moves further down and I close my eyes. "I'll look after you," I hear Leo say and I feel his tongue teasing me slowly, softly, and I jolt as he blows on me. Leo's finger moves around my inner thigh, with the gentlest touch, moving closer, and a little flick on my clit makes me moan again. This is so new to me that I don't know what's happening, but I don't want it to stop either. The pleasure Leo is giving me is caring, perfect.
His right-hand rests on my breast as his fingers pinch my nipple. I bite my lower lip and a rush of adrenaline courses through my veins. He's teasing me again, moving faster then slower, not letting my body settle to the rhythm of his tongue, as his hands move down my waist. His tongue stops by my clit, and he starts circling. His hands rest on my hips to hold me down.
"Leo," his name leaves my mouth in a whisper and my hands grip on the blanket on the back of the sofa. I feel his fingertip on my entrance, and I gasp. I scream out his name this time as he slowly curls his finger inside me and hits a spot that gives pleasure beyond words.
He kisses my stomach as he enters another finger; his thumb is teasing my clit. Finding a rhythm with his hand, he kisses my neck as my hips move with him.
“Don’t hold back Hope,” he whispers as he moves a little faster and I place my hands on his shoulders, as I moan out his name, my body jolting as I cum.
Leo slowly removes his fingers and softly rubs my inner thigh as I float back down from the high he’s just taken me on. I hear him take in a deep breath, as he nuzzles my neck with little kisses.
Placing his hands on my hips he pulls away from me, and I gaze into his eyes to see what he’s going to do.
“ I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone as beautiful as you.” He lifts me off the couch wrapping my legs around him as he turns around and sits down, placing me on top of him.
I have no idea when Leo took his pants and boxers off, but I can feel him hard. I look down and slowly lick my lips as I look at his hard, long and thick cock. This is a new experience for me. I’ve never looked at a man’s body so closely before as I’ve always had to just lie there, but now I have the freedom to look. I enjoy taking in Leo’s physique.
Keeping his eyes on me and his hands firmly on my hips he tells me, “You can stop this whenever you want, but I’m hoping you don’t.” He pulls me closer to him so that he can kiss me.
Leo lifts me a little and brings me forward. Breaking away from the kiss, his eyes lock with mine as he slowly lowers me down. I place my hands on his shoulders, and my eyes drift closed.
"No, look at me, Hope." Opening my eyes again, I meet his. I moan as he starts to enter me. The deeper he gets, the more I moan. He's not hurting me, he's not rushing me, he's making everything perfect. The moment I feel all of him inside me, his hands take a tighter hold on my hips, and my hands hold firmly on his shoulders.
Leo begins to move my hips back and forth, up and down. Even though he's letting me be in control and stop when I want, he's in control of my pleasure. I know I can trust that I can stop this the moment I want to. But the truth is I don't want to stop. The way he's making me feel is that only he and I exist right now; only us. He sucks on my nipples, and an almost electric vibration runs through me. I move my hands into his hair not wanting him to let go of me.
"Cum again Hope," Leo says, breathing fast, "and look at me. I want to see you." I peer down at him as I can feel ready to explode again; my grip in his hair tightens.
"Leo," I moan as he begins to move me up and down faster and each thrust is getting harder. I want him to carry on, I want to feel him cum inside me, and I want him to hold me.
I feel my body begin to shake as my orgasm tears through me.
His grip tightens, and I know he's getting close. He throws his head back, and his nails dig into my skin. I close
my eyes as I hear my name leave his lips as he cums.
The moment he relaxes, I go to move, but Leo stops me and pulls me into his warm embrace. "How about we stay here for a moment?" He kisses my neck.
My hands rest on the sides of his stomach. How perfect he is for me, how he has saved me, but I think I'm saving him in a way too. Leo's head leans back on the couch again, and my fingers move through his hair. I smile as my touch is making him do the same. His eyes close, so I get to look at him freely, and I admire the view.
We sit here for a moment longer as Leo won’t let me get up. “I’m getting a little cold now,” I whisper. I don’t want to move from here, but I can feel the cold hitting me hard.
Leo opens his eyes, moves his hand behind him and wraps the blanket around me. “Time to get up then I suppose.” Then he leans over and kisses me. Slowly getting up, he grabs my hand. “I’ll join you once I get some clothes on.” Giving him a nod, I take my clothes off the floor and make my way to my bedroom. I turn back to Leo for a moment as he pulls another blanket over him and leans back on the couch again.
Once I’ve cleaned myself up, I get changed and sit by the window. As I look at my hands, I smile remembering how Leo was touching me and how it made me feel. I’m finally at a place where I can be happy again; I don’t want that to change.
Rubbing some lotion into my hands, I hear the door behind me. I look over and see Leo throwing two pillows on the floor and the blanket. “It’s starting to get cold, let’s try step two,” he tells me as he sits on the floor next to me and gives me a kiss on the cheek.
We sit there in silence as we look outside. I do like that we are both so comfortable with each other that we can sit together and not have to talk; just having him next to me is enough and all I need.
Chapter 24
Leo
Turning around my arm hits the cold floor. Slowly opening my eyes, I look around for Hope. I rub away the sleep and grab my phone to check the time. Eight? How did I oversleep? I never oversleep.
Last night took a lot out of me. Joseph was a piece of shit, and I enjoyed watching him burn. Even now I can still hear him screaming, begging. But I didn't care, there was only one reason I wanted him dead. Hope. She was the reason I wanted to kill him and to let her know that I would do anything to protect her. When I got home, and she sat in front of me, that was it; she controlled me, she had me.
Talking to her last night and letting her know that I don't regret bringing her here was the best thing I could have said to her because in that moment I knew she wanted to be here and even once all this is finished she'll still want to stay here.
Last night with Hope was… I don't have words to say how it was. I thought she would have pushed me away, told me that she couldn't do it, but she didn't. She let me in and as much as I wanted to bring her to my bed, I knew she wouldn't be ready for that yet; one day.
Everything she did last night I know was new to her. Now I know she has had sex—well she’s been raped and that’s not the same thing. It will never be the same thing. So, I knew everything I wanted to do. I wanted to make it perfect for her. I wanted her to know that sex can be amazing when it happens between two consenting adults who care for each other. Now I just have to hope she wants to do it again with me.
Making my way over to my room to have a shower, I hear Jackson downstairs. I love the man, but I wish he would fucking have breakfast at his own house once in a while. Walking into the bathroom, I look in the mirror, which is not something that I normally do. I've learned to live with the scars now, but that doesn't mean I like looking at them. Last night Hope was doing things to me that I like, things that make me want to smile every day.
Getting in the shower, I let the warm water run over my body. Closing my eyes, I replay everything about last night with Hope; the way she tasted, the way she smelled, the sound of my name leaving her lips. Just the thought about it happening again makes me hard.
I shake the thought out of my head; I need to take this slow with Hope. If I rush her, it could all go wrong. But I also need things to go slow for me. I can’t hurt her, I won’t hurt her. And until I find him, until that part of my past, until that darkness is finally gone, I don’t know if I can move to the next step.
Making my way to the kitchen, Jackson gives me a knowing look. I can tell he’s stifling a smile. “Morning,” I say as I walk over to get some coffee.
"She's in there," Jackson answers my silent question, and I look over to see what she's doing. "She's been in and out a lot."
“How long you been here?”
He chuckles to himself, “Long enough to have a nice breakfast. So you overslept—”
“Is she okay?” I cut him off. I know he knows what happened, but I don’t what to hear what he thinks about it.
“Well, you seem more relaxed this morning, so I’m going to say tha—”
I turn to face him as anger bubbles up inside of me. "Yes, I had sex with her. No, I don't regret it, and I hope to be doing it again. Anything else you want to say?"
He shrugs. “You seem happy, so I’m happy. Just don’t get in too far if you can’t promise her the world. Other than that, I have nothing to say. But her skin looks like it fucking hurts.” He nods his head for me to look behind me.
I turn to see Hope as she brings two bottles of laundry detergent out with her. I stare at her arms, they do look like they hurt, and they look burnt. “What happened?” I walk over to her as she puts the bottles on the counter.
Standing next to her I place my hand on her hip, but she moves away from me and turns her head a little to Jackson’s direction
“Hope, are you okay?” I ask again and glance over at Jackson. I don’t want him to leave as I want her to start talking more freely around him.
“Um, I think the detergent is doing this.” She turns the bottles around and starts reading them.
“I think we need to go to the doctors.”
“I’ve had an allergy pill so it’ll be fine in a little while,” she tells me but doesn’t make eye contact. She hasn’t looked at me since I’ve come downstairs.
Does she regret last night?
Leaning on the counter, I watch as she reads the two bottles. My eyes flick over to Jackson for a moment as he watches her too. His eyes meet mine, and we have the silent conversation about when to talk to Hope about him. How is she connected to him and why does he want her?
I give him a small nod to let him know that I’ll ask her today, soon as she finishes what she’s doing.
“Do you want some help?” I ask picking up one of the bottles to see what she’s looking at.
“Just looking to see if there’s anything different in this one to the one I used the other day.”
I take a look at the back, then pick up the other and read that one. “This one doesn’t have dye in it.” I put it back on the counter. “We won’t be using this one again.” I wink as she finally looks at me and there’s a small smile on her face. I can’t wait for that to be a full smile that she shows to the world.
Hope puts the bottles back in the laundry room. “Would you like some breakfast?” she asks walking over to the cooker, but I stop her and pull her closer to me. She knows I want a kiss which makes her look to the side; she wants to make sure that Jackson isn’t behind her.
"I'm going to kiss you now, and I'll kiss you again and again. If Jackson had breakfast, lunch, and dinner at his own fucking place, you wouldn't have to worry about him being here, but we both know he'll be here, so you might as well get used to me kissing you while he's here." I give her a smile as she looks up at me, shaking her head. "So, are you going to give me the kiss I want?" I ask.
Leaning closer to me quickly, she gives me a peck and walks away from me. The smile on my lips right now must be that of a fifteen-year-old boy because Hope has just made one big step by giving me a peck in front of Jackson.
“Would you like some breakfast?” she asks me again.
“Please.” I walk around to sit
next to Jackson. I don’t want to ask Hope about him, I don’t want to ruin her mood as she seems happy today. I watch her moving around the kitchen a lot more freely now. She still has her head down, but slightly higher than before. She could easily walk around this whole house with a blindfold on and not bump into anything.
"Hope, have you picked out the tiles for the floor?" I ask her. I know she has looked at the book and folded some of the pages she likes, but we haven't had a moment to sit and look through it together yet.
She's not talking to me, and that always worries me, as I don't know if it's because she's thinking about her past, her family, or something I said that reminded her of them.
"No not yet, but it's your house so you should see what you like." She puts my plate of food in front of Jackson and me puts a gift on the counter for her.
"Happy birthday Hope, I hope you like it." He pushes it closer to her, and she doesn't move.
I see her body tense up a little, and a small part of me is worried that something is flashing through her mind. Jackson taps my arm and nods letting me know that he's leaving the room for a moment. Walking around the counter, I stand next to her as I lean on it.
Taking her hand in mine, I say, "Talk to me." A flashback has just run through her head, and I might not want to know what it is, but I need to know what we just did wrong, so we don't do it again.
She takes in a long deep breath, closes her eyes then opens them as she lets the air out. “Are you going to let Jackson... Do I have to… Will Jackson—”
Oh my God, she thinks that I’m going to let Jackson sleep with her. That’s the last thing either of us want. “No, why would you think that?” I ask. Jackson has never made a move on her or said anything for her to think like that, and I've never mentioned anything like that to him.
“When I get gifts from other men, then—”
“Stop, Hope. You have to start believing me when I say that you will never have to live that life again. The life I want you to live is with me and me alone.” Softly pulling her over to me, her head falls on my chest. “Jackson got you that gift for your birthday as a friend and he’ll get you one for Christmas too.” I kiss the top of her head, wrapping my arms tighter around her.