Arena Book 2

by Logan Jacobs

  I needed a plan. Fast.

  “Thing is…” I had let the Eradicator go, its sling tightened automatically, and it slammed back out of my reach on my left side. “… I keep telling people I’m too tough to eat, but no one believes me!” Then I managed to get twisted around and drew my SVA blades and slammed them into the flesh in front of me.

  Three things happened simultaneously. One, I was instantly covered in warm blood and gore, thankfully it was too dark to see what color. Two, while the laser honed blades of the SVAs sliced through its flesh just fine, the sparks that burst from the inside of the creature’s skin let me know I couldn’t cut through it. And three, the creature began to buck like mad.

  As the worm began to twist and writhe, I grabbed onto the axes for all I was worth and they continued to rend its flesh from the inside. Then, as my downward momentum slowed, I planted my feet against the worm’s slick muscle, pressed downward with my pinkie toes to trigger my boots built in crampons, and kicked off. My muscles weren’t quite used to parkour yet, but they still knew what they were supposed to do, so as I launched myself into the small, air shaft like space of the worm’s throat, I spun around and used my axes to plant myself against the opposite side of the worm’s neck.

  Then I repeated the maneuver while the worm screamed in pain. My SVAs had severed several of the worm’s esophageal muscles so it wasn’t able to swallow me anymore, and I was going to K2 my way out of this shit. That’s when I felt a rumble and massive gurgle beneath me. I had half a second to look down before I realized things were, in fact, about to get truly terrible.

  “Barf-O-Rama!” I yelled right before I sucked in a lung full of air and was swept upward in a wave of bile, blood, and vomit that smelled like a long night of cheap tequila shots and value menu Taco Bell. I almost lost my own lunch, but didn’t only because I was concentrating super hard to make damned sure my mouth was kept shut.

  Thankfully, and for the first time in my life, vomit did something awesome. It flung me up out of the creature’s throat, and as I saw a light on the other end, I almost smiled.

  As the floor of the arena came into view, I grabbed hold of my axes and lashed out like a fucking whirlwind barbarian from Diablo III. My SVAs dug into the soft, sponge like flesh on the roof of the creature’s mouth to arrest my fall.

  The creature squealed and howled as the rush of bile and blood went past me and splattered the sandy ground of the arena, but no one, and I mean no one, swallows Marc Caleb Havak fucking whole and gets to live. No one. Okay, well, that’s not entirely true, I could think of maybe three people, but you get the point.

  So, I did what anyone else would do.

  With my feet hanging out of the Tremors reject’s mouth like a leg shaped calamari fritti, I smashed my axes into the underside of the monster’s mouth until I cut myself a path up into its brain. It sounds cooler than it was since it only took three and a half swings or so. And, honestly, I’m not even sure if it was the creature’s brain because, well, space alien worm thing.

  All I knew is I felt it die, and as the creature started to topple, I leapt from its mouth with my axes gripped in my hands.

  “Leeeeeeeroy Jeeeeeenkins!” I cried as I burst forward from its mouth like an avenging god and hit the ground in a roll that brought me to my feet in a badass superhero landing.

  And what I saw around me was crazy.

  There were other sandworms everywhere. There were also people fighting everywhere. Basically mass hysteria everywhere.

  As I shook some space sandworm goo from my eyes, I realized that it looked like it was just champions fighting other champions at this point, you know, other than the half dozen or so sandworms that made life more interesting.

  The worm that had tried to swallow me crashed to the ground behind me and twitched because its body was just barely catching up to the fact that it was dead, so I swung my gaze around while trying to ignore the giant robotic pterodactyls soaring through the sky and shooting lasers from their eyes. What type of planet produces robot pterodactyls with freaking lasers for eyes?

  “Ah, balls,” I muttered as I caught sight of a giant, purple-haired gorilla with an eyepatch, a half chewed cigar, and old school bandolier around its mac truck sized chest, that stomped its way toward Aurora like it was about to go all sorts of generic Eighties’ action movie villain on her ass.

  Aurora looked barely able to stand. Had she expended that much juice already? From the look of the smoldering dead guy next to her, bits of dark energy still sparking on the charred surface, I guessed she had.

  “Now there, little girlie, we both know you’re out of juice. So, how’s about you be a good girl and take your beating like the woman you are,” the ape said as he reared back to smack the stuffing out of Aurora with his stupidly large staff that crackled with huge sparks of electricity.

  “Hey, grape-ape! That’s not how you treat a lady,” I called as I launched my axe through the air with everything I had. As the big mook turned toward me, the SVA cleaved through his disgusting cigar and caught him right in the face in a truly fantastic spray of blood and gore. “Welcome to charm school, I’ll be your teacher.”

  “Marc, you’re not dead!” Aurora cried out, and I could see tears in her eyes as she rushed toward me.

  “So, did you miss me?” I said as the big purple brute ape collapsed to the ground, head split like a casaba melon. “Because I’d miss me.”

  “Don’t ever get eaten by a sandworm again,” she practically squealed in a way that somehow managed to sound sultry and sexual as her arms wrapped around me, and then the next thing I knew she was kissing me. Her lips tasted like cherry cream, chocolate, and a hell of a great idea, and while I’d have loved to do nothing more than take her right there, she pulled away. “Oh, sugar, you taste like worm vomit.”

  “Hazard of the job, baby,” I winked and said as I turned to survey the battlefield. “Where’s Nova and PoLarr?”

  “Lost them in the scuffle,” Aurora said as she dropped down beside the ape and put her hand on its chest. It glowed softly and then winked out almost instantly. “I’m almost out of energy, Marc. I need to feed.”

  “My baby needs to eat, baby gonna get fed,” I said as I pulled my SVA from the ape’s face and shook the blood off. “Um, what’s going on by the way?” I gestured toward, well, everything.

  “I was busy sucking the troll dry when the ground erupted with sandworms. One got that troll that was after PoLarr. That’s when ugly and his friend came after me.” She nodded toward the dead silverback as we began heading toward the cover of one of the giant granite blocks. “I didn’t get a chance to see what happened to PoLarr and Nova but I’m assuming they got chased by the robodactyls.”

  “Did you seriously just say robodactyls?” I asked as I glanced up into the air. I mean, honestly, that’s what the things were, if pterodactyls had four wings made of shiny chrome, a giant spiked morningstar of a tail, huge freaking teeth, and shot lasers from their eyes.

  “I did.” She shrugged. “They reminded me of the creatures from that movie you showed us where they all escaped in that amusement arena, so I named them that.” She shivered. “My nanny on Starfall always said that things are scarier when they don’t have a name.”

  “That, I can agree with,” I said as we reached the block. I took a quick moment to check it out and make sure no one was hiding around the other side, and when it was clear, I beckoned Aurora forward.

  “What is your plan now, Marc?” Aurora asked as she sidled up next to me. Her eyes were sharp as she scanned the area for threats, but near as I could tell, we were relatively safe for the moment.

  “I’m not sure,” I said as I glanced skyward and looked at the roster that had been plastered across the top of the arena. There were now seven faces crossed out. The three trolls from earlier were dead as were two gorillas. There was also a giant squid creature, and something that looked like Cousin It from the Addams Family.

  Good. That meant PoLarr and Nova w
ere still alive.

  “Round one will end in two minutes,” Chi-Cheshire’s voice boomed from overhead. “The first round has really been something, but if you think that’s amazing, just wait until you see what challenges are in store for our remaining champions. So far, seven of them have failed to live, and with any luck, we’ll double that number soon.” There was a high pitched meow-giggle that made me hate the stupid announcer. “Because in round two, things get EXTREME!”

  As if to punctuate his point, the entire arena began to rumble as storm clouds suddenly manifested overhead. I could hear thunder crack and see lightning flash, and I knew things were about to get really bad because a dry, dusty arena mixed with rain was going to be ten kinds of not fucking fun.

  “I hope you’ve practiced your mud wrestling,” I said jokingly.

  “I have, but I don’t really enjoy doing it clothed,” she responded decidedly not joking.

  I shook my head as I sheathed one of the SVAs on my back and shouldered the Eradicator while I held the other axe. I didn’t know what was coming, but I wanted to be able to deal with both long range and close range threats, especially since Aurora seemed like she needed to eat before she could go all sorts of psychic vampire on our enemies. The rifle, while powerful and relatively lightweight for its size, was still unwieldy if I tried to hold it single handed. I was about to shift it back to rest on its sling when I noticed a small green light that blinked on the top near the round counter. It seemed like it wanted to be pressed so I did.

  The gun hummed in my hand and then chunks of it began to shift and move like a Michael Bay Transformer. It even made a quieter version of the Transformer transforming sound. When it finished, instead of an M4 sized assault rifle, I held a midsize sub-machine gun that resembled a future-teched out H&K MP7. Even the sling had changed. The bungie like cord had detached from over the left side of my chest and snapped into place under my arm near my right shoulder blade so that it could hang like a shoulder holster. For shits and giggles, I squeezed off a quick burst, and three tightly grouped holes appeared in the granite boulder across from us.

  “Oh, daddy like,” I whispered and smiled wide.

  “Please focus, sugar,” Aurora chastised. I could hear the fatigue in her voice.

  “I’m always focused,” I snickered as I realized I’d been staring at my awesome gun for probably ten seconds.

  “Maybe you should let me borrow some of your energy. Then I will be able to defend myself better.”

  “As enticing as it would be to have you devour my very tasty soul, having both of us at half strength isn’t going to help either of us. ” I pointed at the pulsar pistol on her hip. “I know it’s not your go to, sweetie, but that takes very little energy to use in a fight. Just point and pull the trigger.”

  She stared at me open-mouthed for a long moment before she nodded once. I could see the blue energy in her geometric tribal tattoos ebb and flow as the Shriike inside of her wanted to feed and feed now. Also, Aurora did not like being told no. I guess when you grow up as a princess you don’t hear it very often. “You are correct, Marc. It was short sighted and rather lazy of me to think I could get by on my powers alone.” She swallowed hard. “If you hadn’t come when you did, I might be dead now.”

  “I will always come when someone I care about is in trouble, Aurora,” I met her gaze before I moved to the edge of the block and peeked out. “And I didn’t mean to be a dick about it. I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t say you are sorry.” Aurora put her hand on my shoulder and pulled me back so I had to look at her. “You are correct, and I was being a foolish brat. Let us finish this match, Marc, and then you can be a dick about coming as much as you like.”

  “That’s the plan--” I started. “Okay, you did that on purpose.”

  I turned back to the edge of the block, and this time, I heard the grinding of gears. “Fuck!”

  I threw myself backward just as a robodactyl swooped in and raked its huge glinting eagle talons through the space I’d just occupied. Then, jet engines seemed to fire on its stomach because instead of continuing on its swoop, it just stopped in midair and hovered there.

  “Um… Marc, its eyes are glowing,” Aurora said right before she tackled me to the side. It was a good thing too because a second later laser beams melted the granite block where we’d been behind into molten slag.

  “Fucking pterodactyls with fucking laser beams in their eyes,” I snapped as I fired the freshly modified Eradicator one handed at the metal monstrosity. The first couple bullets pinged off its forehead, and while they didn’t do too much damage, it knocked the bird off balance, which was awesome because the hover jets on the creature flung it sideways into a large rock.

  As it crashed into the stone and collapsed to the ground I had the worst best idea ever.

  “Watch this!” I cried as I scrambled to my feet and sprinted toward the robotic death machine.

  “You’re running toward it, not away!” Aurora called as she caught up to me.

  “Yeah, shit is about to get awesome,” I said, and as the robodactyl picked itself up, I leapt on its back. “Or end in disaster.”

  As my arms wrapped around its neck, and I threw my leg over its body, the creature fell forward half a step as it tried to steady itself, which was perfect because I was able to jam my still crampon’d feet into the space behind its shoulder blades

  The creature bucked and squealed as it stumbled another step under my weight before doing exactly what I’d hoped it would do. Its boosters flared, and its big quad wings flapped as it leapt into the skies. Seconds later, I was soaring over the arena while it tried desperately to throw me off. Thankfully, the crampons had bit deep into its metal hide, and I was able to hold on with my legs.

  That’s when I activated the technology booster I’d gotten from Fallon. I had half a second to think about how clever the cat girl had been to give it to me and wonder if she had inside knowledge on what kind of robot baddies we’d face before I suddenly felt my mind techno-meld with the robodactyl.

  It was a strange thing to comprehend because I was both myself and the machine at the same time. I could “see” all the input the robot could, and when I thought left, well, we flew left.

  “Come with me if you want to live!” I said a moment later as I landed next to Aurora and reached out toward her with one hand.

  The space vampiress looked like she wanted to argue, but instead, she nodded once, took my hand, and leapt onto the robodactyl’s back.

  “How is this better?” Aurora cried as she wrapped her arms tightly around me while the robodactyl took flight once more. “If we fall, we’ll both die.”

  “I live my life a quarter mile at a time,” I quoted Vin Diesel as she buried her face against my back while the robot climbed higher. “Besides, it is me, and I am it, and it is we. Whew, okay, techno-melding is weird. See if you can find Nova and PoLarr because you should be able to see the whole arena from here.”

  “There’s PoLarr!” Aurora cried and pointed frantically to the right as I swooped through the air, triggered a blast from my, its, our laser eyes and burned down another robodactyl that didn’t realize what the hell hit it. “And Nova!”

  I turned my head to follow, and as I did, the robodactyl followed suit. Sure enough, the two girls were standing on a giant heap of corpses. What kind of corpses I had no idea. Some sort of spider creatures or many legged bugs by the look of them? Either way, they were about to be overrun by more of the things, even as they furiously fired into the wave of creepy many legged things coming toward them as they poured out of the cavern openings.

  “Leeeroy Jeeenkins!” I cried right before I strafed the shit out of the monsters with my robodactyl’s eye lasers to char a path of smoldering ruin through the creatures.

  They turned toward me and that’s when I realized they actually were spider bugs because their huge multi-faceted eyes fixed on me, and I shivered in disgust. Fucking spiders.

  “Are those spiders?�
� Aurora cried from behind me as she latched onto me even tighter. “Kill them, quick, Marc! I hate spiders!”

  “These eight-legged freaks clearly didn’t get the word that Marc Havak is here to exterminate their kind with extreme prejudice,” I said as I tipped my imaginary hat and did another massive strafing run. Aurora and I let loose with our guns as well. We were a flying fortress of fearsome spider death. We turned the creepy bastards into so much burnt toast while Nova and PoLarr blasted them from cover.

  A few moments later, there were no more spiders, and as I landed beside the two women on the ground, I flashed them a self-satisfied grin.

  “Someone order a save-the-girl pizza, hold the doomsday?”

  Chapter Nine

  “It’s about time you showed up,” Nova said, her voice filled with relief as she busily began to attach a fresh ammo drum to her smoking MG. “It was really hard keeping the Val’Keerye alive this whole time especially since the only loot box we found had a dagger in it.” She sighed. “What do they expect me to do with a dagger when I have a giant gun?”

  “That is an excellent point, Nova.” I smirked at her, and she flushed. “I’m sure PoLarr appreciates your help too.”

  “Why don’t you ask her,” Nova said, and as she spoke, PoLarr came up to me, and the sight of her very nearly stopped my heart.

  Even in the midst of battle she was beautiful. Her dark green uniform hugged the curves of her six foot plus body in a way that accentuated every last muscle on her chiseled physique. Her white-blonde hair was still cut into a spiked shark-fin design that ran down the center of her head, but she no longer had any of the ribbons that normally adorned her uniform.

  Instead, her skin and clothing was covered in swathes of gore which seemed to exemplify just how fucking dangerous she was, and while that normally would have terrified me, the way her violet eyes sparkled when she looked at me let me know I had exactly zero to fear from her. At least as long as we were on the same side, anyway.