Adulting 101

by Lisa Henry

  “I’m not breaking up with you, Nick.”

  “Okay.” Nick frowns. “Why not?”

  “Because I like you,” Jai says. “I like hanging out with you. I like making out with you. I even like it when I have something important to say and you totally manage to derail me. And what do you even mean that you’re ‘not very good at sex’?”

  Nick flushes. “Um, because I can’t last very long?”

  “You’re lasting a lot longer than you did the first time,” Jai tells him.

  “Really?”

  “Yes. How can you not know that?”

  “It’s really hard to keep count of the minutes when we’re fucking, Jai!” Nick counters, his voice rising. “I’m very easily distracted by your perfect ass and your incredible dick!”

  Someone downstairs drops something breakable.

  “Please tell me your dad doesn’t have a shotgun,” Jai whispers in the sudden, terrible silence.

  Nick snorts. “Sorry. I’ve been told I have no indoor voice.”

  “Nick, I like sex with you, okay? And it’s got nothing to do with how long you last. I like being with you. I think we’ve got something there, right?”

  “Right,” Nick echoes, wide-eyed.

  “Good.” Jai shakes his head and smiles at him. “Can I start this conversation again?”

  Nick waves his hand and clears his throat. “Please.”

  “Okay, so.” Jai reaches for the laptop and ignores the fact it’s open at . . . Is that a cartoon boy being ravaged by something with tentacles? Well, he seems to be enjoying it at least. Jai goes to Amazon. “So this is the backpack I ordered the other week.”

  Nick looks at the screen. “It’s nice?”

  “It is,” Jai tells him. “It arrived a few days ago. Thing is, I already have a backpack. So I thought you might want this one.”

  Nick’s eyes grow as large as the unfortunate manga boy’s. “Um . . .”

  “It takes three weeks to get a passport,” Jai says. “And I know you have college money, right? Because, I promise, the biggest outlay is your airfare. Once that’s done, we can get by on about sixty-five bucks a day each. A lot less if we pick up work as we go.”

  “Jai?” Nick’s voice sounds tremulous. He drops his sub onto his sketch pad. “Are you asking me to come traveling with you?”

  “Yes,” Jai says. “There’s a whole world out there, and I think you’d really love it.”

  “You . . . you want me to come to Argentina with you?”

  “About that,” Jai says, and opens a new tab in Nick’s browser. “Not exactly.”

  Nick says yes.

  Of course he does. He’s the most impulsive person Jai has ever met.

  It’s a little harder to convince his parents. They’ve already written out the check to OSU, and they’re not ready to tear it up straightaway. But better to tear it up now rather than wait until Nick begins classes. They won’t see that money again if Nick starts school, makes it through a few weeks, and then crashes and burns.

  “I don’t want to make it like a threat,” Nick tells them. “I really don’t, but this is me. I mean, you guys, this is me.” He looks suddenly horrified at the thought of his parents losing thousands and thousands of dollars on him, as though he’s never before considered the depth of their investment in him.

  And that investment, Jai sees, isn’t just financial. Nick may think it is, but Nick doesn’t notice the way his parents glance at one another, echoing back their worry.

  “It’s not something I can do right now,” Nick tells them, swallowing. “I just can’t.”

  “But you can travel to a completely different hemisphere?” Chris asks, a slight, wry twist to his mouth that Nick inherited.

  Nick wrinkles his nose. “Maybe?”

  Chris sighs, but the fight is leaving him.

  And it’s not a magical solution. It won’t make Nick’s anxiety vanish, but Jai really thinks that he’ll thrive out in the world, as long as he’s got Jai to make sure he doesn’t walk into traffic or fall down a hole or whatever. And it gives him time to think about college some more. Maybe he’ll want to go next year. Maybe he won’t.

  Maybe he and Jai will still be boyfriends, and maybe they won’t.

  But in a year, Nick will know himself more. Jai is certain of that.

  The following afternoon, he turns up at Nick’s house again and gives Nick the backpack.

  “A backpack for ants!” Nick exclaims, delighted, and spends ages trying to figure out all the straps and clips and compartments. “Holy shit! Holy shit!”

  His hands are shaking and his heartbeat, when Jai puts a palm over his chest, is rapid. But this isn’t anxiety, exactly, even if his body processes it the same. This is excitement.

  Jai and Nick sit down with Chris and Marnie.

  Jai has detailed budgets. More detailed than they need to be, probably, but Chris Stahlnecker is a stickler for detail.

  “My mom works in a bank,” Jai tells him. “Ever since I got stuck once in Australia without any money, she’s made me carry an emergency credit card linked to her account. That was three years ago, and I’ve never used it.”

  “Not even for emergency pizza?” Nick asks, astonished.

  “Not even then.”

  Chris looks grudgingly impressed.

  “I don’t know,” Marnie says faintly. “Nicky . . . this isn’t what we planned.”

  “I know, Mom,” Nick says. “But maybe I want to try this first?”

  He sounds as nervous about it as she does, and Jai reaches out and laces their fingers together.

  “I do,” Nick says, more firmly this time. “I do want to try this.”

  Nick: I’ve changed my mind. This is a disaster.

  Jai: It’s not. It’ll be fine.

  Nick: NO! IT’S A DISASTER OF EPIC PROPORTIONS!

  Jai: Will a blowjob calm you down?

  Nick: I don’t know. Can we try it and see?

  The basement door slams open.

  Nick squeaks and pulls his pants up.

  “Oh, fuck you, Ronny!” Jai wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. “Again? Seriously?”

  Ronny shows his palms. “Just thought you guys would want to know that Nick’s parents are here.”

  Nick groans.

  “Nice to see you again, Nick.” Ronny grins.

  “H-hey, Mr. Green. You too?”

  “You can call him Ronny,” Jai says.

  “Because I’m eighteen and I’ve graduated, or because he’s seen my dick?” Nick buttons his jeans. “Twice.”

  Jai climbs to his feet. “All of those things, probably.”

  “Jai!” Nick flails. “My parents cannot meet your family. It’s like matter meeting antimatter. It will be terrible.”

  “It’ll be fine.”

  “Jai! It could destroy the entire universe!”

  “That’s . . .” Jai leans down and kisses him. “That’s probably not going to happen. You know that, right?”

  “Yes!” Nick scowls at him. “Maybe? I mean, it might!”

  Jai takes him by the hand and starts to lead him upstairs. “But it probably won’t.”

  Nick sighs and squeezes his hand. “Okay, it probably won’t.”

  Jai’s counting that as a win.

  The following night, Jai goes to watch a movie at Nick’s place. Marnie lets him in, and tells him not to leave without the cookies she’s made for his family. Chris wants to go through the budget again, but it turns out that what he really wants is an assurance that Jai’s not going to dump Nick on his own on the other side of the world.

  “No,” Jai says in a low voice. “Whatever happens, even if we break up, I would never do that. I’ll bring him home safe, I promise.”

  Chris nods, clearing his throat, and Jai realizes he just wants Nick to be okay. Jai misses his own dad suddenly, acutely, but then the sound of Nick’s laughter from the kitchen takes away most of that sting.

  So it takes a while to get around to actua
lly watching the movie, and then Nick falls asleep before it’s over.

  Nick is adorable when he’s sleeping.

  So is Devon, who invited himself to movie night.

  It’s disturbing.

  Jai takes his phone out, snaps a picture of them cuddled up like little snuffling puppies, and then lies down beside Nick.

  If he can’t beat them, well, what choice does he have?

  Ebony: OMG. They’re ridiculous!

  Jai: I know. How can we compete with that?

  Ebony: I hear you.

  Jai: You all packed for college?

  Ebony: Yeah. My dad’s driving me up tomorrow. Devon’s not going until Friday.

  Jai: You guys trying the long-distance thing?

  Ebony: He keeps calling it that. I keep telling him 60 miles is not long distance. Not like halfway around the world! You’re killing their bromance, you know.

  Jai: I know.

  Ebony: Are you smiling smugly when you type that?

  Jai: Maybe a little.

  Ebony: Are you guys all packed?

  Jai: Nick has packed five times already. He’s going to be in for a rude shock when I take out half the shit he doesn’t need.

  Ebony: Aw, you guys are going to have so much fun together.

  Jai: We are. :)

  Ebony: I already miss you guys, and I can’t wait for next summer. Those pizzas won’t make themselves!

  Jai: Did Pauly ever get the olives out of the light fixture?

  Ebony: Who knows? Anyway, you know Pauly.

  Jai: Yeah, Pauly doesn’t care.

  Ebony: Good night, Jai :D

  Jai: Good night. :)

  Three weeks later.

  “Omigod,” Nick whispers, and his breath hangs in the air like mist before it dissipates.

  The path curves a little as it climbs the hill. On the left, where the hill drops away, he can see a lake, and a large tree, and clusters of crooked chimneys. It’s beautiful. In summer it must be a riot of color—he knows that it is—but it’s still beautiful now.

  It’s cold. It’s ball-numbingly cold. Last night Nick was complaining about it, and using it as a blatant excuse to snuggle with Jai for warmth, but right now he doesn’t care. Right now he can’t even feel it.

  Because holy fuck.

  He’s not going to cry.

  No. No, he is definitely not.

  Jai grins and slides his arm around Nick’s waist as they round the bend to discover the carved steps leading up to the round green door.

  Nick stops, and two little girls run in front, giggling. Their parents are still leisurely dawdling up the hill behind them.

  “Jai,” Nick whispers. “Jai. It’s Bag End!”

  It’s only a movie set. Nick knows that. He knows that it’s not real, that it’s just a foyer dug into a hill and that there’s no actual dwelling behind that half-open door. But here he is, standing in front of Bilbo’s house, on a cold New Zealand morning, and it’s perfect. Everything is perfect.

  Jai hugs him.

  He doesn’t say anything, and neither does Nick again.

  He needs a while to process this, probably.

  Like maybe thirty or forty years. That would do it.

  It’s not just Bag End.

  It’s Jai.

  It’s the way he suggested they go to New Zealand because he knew what being here would mean to Nick. And not because Nick’s a hopeless fanboy. Not just because of that. But because Jai knows how important dreams are, and he wanted to show Nick that it is possible to chase them. It’s the way Jai shrugged and said that Argentina would still be there next year, like it was no big deal to put Nick’s dreams before his own.

  Jai is incredible.

  Also, they’ve been traveling for two weeks so far, and they haven’t even had a single argument. That has to be some sort of record for people, right? It’s probably because Nick is so mature and stuff now. Like, yesterday he saw this awesome plush tuatara that was as big as his head, and it was so impractical he actually thought twice about buying it.

  He did buy it, but that’s not the point.

  Adulting. Nick is doing it right.

  They take a lot of photographs, and Jai listens to Nick talk way more than is socially acceptable about Hobbiton, and then they head for the Green Dragon Inn for lunch.

  In the afternoon, Nick falls asleep with his head on Jai’s shoulder on the tour bus and doesn’t wake up again until they’re back in Rotorua.

  “Thanks,” he mumbles as Jai helps him not face-plant as he gets off the bus.

  “For what?” Jai asks with a smile.

  Nick kisses him. “Jai, for everything.”

  Dear Devon & Ebony Devony Debony Devebony,

  New Zealand is AWESOME and I really wish you guys were here. How is college?

  Today Jai and I went to Hobbiton and I might have cried it was so good. Tomorrow we are going to a brewery for lunch, because FUCK YES the drinking age is 18! I may have to move here. Don’t tell my mom I said that though.

  I really miss you guys. Whenever I see something cool I want to tell you all about it, but you aren’t here. So far I have only almost got run over once. I also had a cheese and pineapple sandwich. Like WTF is that about?

  Miss you, and love you, and see you next summer!

  Nick :)

  Dear Reader,

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  Thanks to Amelia, for making me write it, and to J.A., Emma, and Sofia, my awesome betas.

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  Lisa likes to tell stories, mostly with hot guys and happily ever afters.

  Lisa lives in tropical North Queensland, Australia. She doesn't know why, because she hates the heat, but she suspects she's too lazy to move. She spends half her time slaving away as a government minion, and the other half plotting her escape.

  She attended university at sixteen, not because she was a child prodigy or anything, but because of a mix-up between international school systems early in life. She studied History and English, neither of them
very thoroughly.

  She shares her house with too many cats, a green tree frog that swims in the toilet, and as many possums as can break in every night. This is not how she imagined life as a grown-up.

  You can email me at lisahenryonline@gmail.com. Or check out my website at lisahenryonline.com.

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