I wasn't making quite enough money between the two jobs and as I got older, I started building my IT career. When I was younger I was always good at computer games etc., and at one point somebody taught me how to hack phone cards. I did it in a friendly way; I never stole any money or anything like that, but one day the FBI showed up in my living room with my computer sitting on the floor unplugged and taped up. This was back in high school, and at that time the laws were different; you were able to break into company websites and snoop, but the laws today are much stricter. You’re not even allowed to break in. Anyway, I didn't get into trouble; they just wanted to talk to me, but at that time, the FBI guy told me something very important. He asked me, “Why don’t you use your skills to help companies close up their loopholes, rather than sneaking through them?” His words made a huge impact on me, and I remembered that incident when I was working in the kitchen at the Italian restaurant.
As I was getting closer to the age of 21, I had some skills under my belt, and so I decided to pursue an IT career. Initially, I applied to the ARMY ROTC program, but through their testing, even though I was extremely smart and skilled, they wanted me as a front line soldier. I asked why, and they had told me I had a rare eye blindness, that allowed me to see through camouflage. This was due to the fact that I had stared at the sun a bit when I was younger, which burned my color filters, and actually had raised all my other senses. I decided to pass on being a front line soldier, and went into the private sector becoming the owner of a very successful IT company for about 10 years. I can’t help but think, had I not burned my filters, would I be dead? A few months after that ROTC recruit, the US had gone to war in the Middle East.
How does this tie into following your heart? Well, back in high school, when I was learning computers, I had a crush on a girl in my freshman year. She took a typing class, so I took the same typing class, just to follow her. Much like I followed Amy later on. I was one of only 3 guys in the classroom. Our typing teacher liked me and he pushed me which really helped because I excelled in that class. When I got up to 60 or 70 words per minute, the teacher recommended that I take a second year.
It turned out that the girl I had followed was sleeping with the whole football team and that kind of turned me off. But in the class there was another girl, who was kind of shy and very pretty. We took the second year of typing class together and bonded for a long time. In that second year, I got up to about 85 words per minute, but it was very embarrassing because I was the only guy in the class. There were about 6 girls, all of whom are secretaries or paralegals today.
There really wasn't any need for me to take a second year of typing, however, reflecting back now, if I hadn't taken that second year, I wouldn't have aced all my papers in my last year of high school and in college. And I certainly wouldn't be able to type as fast I can when I blog, email, multitask, etc., as I do today. In my IT career, I definitely needed to have those fast typing skills for typing code, etc.
Following my heart gave me those essential skills. Looking back, I often think, “Damn! If I didn't follow the girls I had crushes on way back when, I never would have learned how to cook, or how to talk, or how to type.”
I also followed my heart as far as computers go. My parents were pushing me to be an engineer or a lawyer, but I didn't want to be either of those. I loved computers and technology and still do today. This has been a key part of my success in business, as I am my own IT department in many of my ventures, and that allows me to care for my subs and the women in my life. So things really do happen for a reason, if you follow your heart, even though it may not become apparent at the time.
Coming back around full circle, I ran into Amy, the girl I had a crush on in high school, when I was about 27 and she was 30. I was now very successful in my IT career, but this was before I got married. We were in a famous club in town and she was with her sister. Her sister had a crush on me, but was a total bitch; in the ten 10 years that I had known them, she hadn't changed one bit. Amy, however, was awesome; she was a total sweetheart.
We had kept in touch sporadically throughout those years; from the time I knew her at the pizzeria when I had my real estate license all the way through my IT career. I always stopped by and said hello. At 27, she knew that I had dated a few people already and I was moving on. At the time, I had a girlfriend that I was pretty serious with. I kind of regret it now, because that girlfriend ended up dumping me on my 28th birthday. I didn't know that at the time though, and that day in the club, Amy pulled me aside and asked me, “Why have you never asked me out? We get along so well!”
I felt like I flashed back to high school; I remember thinking, “Damn, what do I do now; all those female friends that had signed my yearbook, asking the same question.” Little did they know how submissive I was due to the prejudices that existed in town, mainly from the adults. So, I simply told her that I was with somebody at the time.
Sadly, I knew that the person I was with wasn't with me in her heart. I should have dumped her and told Amy, “You know, you’re right. What are you doing for dinner next Friday?” or something along those lines. That would probably have changed my life, but I didn't do that. I was very faithful, and I’m still very faithful today with my word. When the opportunity is there, go with your heart and follow where it leads. You might not even realize until much later what the importance of that meeting or opportunity was.”
Jakes eyes were flashing. Kelli was about to ask more about what he meant by that, but he rushed on before she could interrupt.
“So, there was the racism, the attempt to burn me alive, and the canings from a deranged nun. And then came the day, in early high school, when my best friend at the time, who was older than me, took my virginity, without my consent.”
Kelli’s jaw had plummeted and she was appalled at what he seemed to be saying. “Are you…are you saying that you were raped, Jake?”
Jake shook his head, slowly. “Well, no. Not exactly. I probably wouldn’t use that word. It’s not like I was completely unwilling, and I’d be lying if I said that there was no pleasure involved on my end. Let’s just put it this way, she was older, and she didn’t really give me much say in the matter. It was definitely a situation where she exerted her dominance over me, and I took it.”
Kelli was relieved, and relaxed a little. She hadn’t even noticed, but her whole body had been tensed as Jake recounted his experiences. The idea of him sleeping with a woman, almost being forced, aroused her and troubled her at the same time.
She asked, “So, how did it happen, exactly? What was the forced situation that caused you to lose your virginity?”
Jake gazed at her and leaned in closer. “Huh uh. I’ll tell you, but only after you tell me. You go first.”
Normally Kelli would never share such personal information with a client, but Jake was different. She decided to tell him.
She said: “Growing up, my family situation was not ideal. My father was an alcoholic, and was emotionally neglectful. He never laid a hand on me, or my mother, but he would work long hours, only to come home drunk and pass out on the couch. We barely spoke.
To escape from my home life, I put all my attention into my schoolwork. I was always a good student; that is...at least until high school. That’s when I met Nina, who had moved to my town from California.
Nina was a true wild child. The whole reason her family had moved was because Nina was showing “behavioral problems” in her hometown. She started sneaking drinks at the age of 12, and at the age of 13, she was caught in a compromising sexual position with an older teenage boy. Her parents were very conservative and were humiliated by her actions, so they moved her across the country. It didn't do much good though, Nina was just as wild here as she’d been at home.
For me though, Nina was like a breath of fresh air. She freed me from the suffocating atmosphere of my dysfunctional family. From the first day we met, we were best friends, and I loved her adventurous spirit. However, she also got me into
all kinds of trouble too. For one thing, when we were sophomores, she convinced me to join the cheerleading squad for the football team. This led to all kinds of wild house parties.
Nina was the most flirtatious girl I’d ever seen, and also one of the most aggressively seductive. If she spotted a guy on the football team that she liked, she would seduce him within a week. She was gorgeous, with sexy curves and long dark curls, so none of the guys ever turned down her advances. After she made a new sexual conquest, she would tell me all about it. I loved hearing all the juicy details and soaked them up, but I was actually pretty shy myself. I did fool around with a couple of guys once or twice, but because of my dad, I didn't drink that much. As a result, I never let things go all the way sexually with anyone.
That’s not to say that I didn't look and fantasize. I was always attracted to very strong, fit men. There were plenty of guys on the football team who caught my eye and quite a few of them pursued me too. With my long red tresses, sky-high legs and tight butt, I was definitely a catch. However, I was also very mature for my age, and even back then, I knew that I wanted more than just a quick fling. I lusted after the football guys but I secretly knew that they were too immature and fickle for me. So I kept myself separated and hoarded my virginity. My classmates knew that I didn't sleep around and I was well respected for it.
Everything changed in the spring of my senior year when a new guy transferred to our school. His name was Paul. He quickly became one of the most popular students in school. At that time, he was stocky and hyper-masculine, with broad shoulders, tousled brown hair and piercing ice-blue eyes. From the moment I saw him, I knew I wanted to date him. He was very outgoing and a fantastic football player; he soon became captain of the team.
He was actually the first guy who ever turned down Nina. She tried her best, but he had eyes for someone else: ME! He would often come up to me at the games, flirting and joking around, picking me up in the air or slipping his arm around my waist. Once he even slapped my ass as I walked by. I pretended to be shocked and offended, but secretly I was flattered.
Prom time rolled around, and one day Paul approached me as I was leaving school.
“Hey, Kells,” he said leaning against a locker. I could smell his cologne; it was something musky.
“Hi there, Paul.”
He didn't waste any time. “So, do you have a date to the prom?” Paul was always like that. Direct. Straight to the point.
“Uh, no. Why?”
“Because I’m going to take you.” He grinned, almost suggestively.
I was a little bit flustered. “Um, OK!” I smiled up at him. He tipped my chin up and brought his face close to mine. Just for a few seconds. Then he turned and walked away without a word.
I was thrilled. I was headed to the prom with the football captain! Little did I know that would change my life forever…
Prom night finally arrived. I had never felt more beautiful or excited as I left the house. My dress was a shimmery, blue, off-the-shoulder number, and I had pinned matching flowers in my auburn ringlets. I paid more attention to my make-up than ever before, smoothing on shimmery blue shadow and pink lip gloss.
When Paul picked me up, he gave me a quick look over, and then waved me into his car. Before we had even gone a block, he handed me an open beer.
“Paul…I…won’t we get in trouble?”
“Don’t worry about it, hun. Tonight we’re gonna party!”
I don’t remember all that much about the actual dance. I know that Paul and I did dance together, but what I remember most is the number of drinks that he brought me. There were chaperons, but Paul had a big plastic bottle full of vodka that he had snuck in, and he kept adding it to the punch. I had never really been drunk before so it really snuck up on me. Before I could slow down, the room was spinning and I could only remember portions of the conversations I had with people.
Before I knew it the night was over. I wasn't really aware of what was going on, but I remember that Paul came up to me and grabbed me around the waist from behind, nuzzling my neck.
“C’mon, babe…let’s go out to the car.”
The memory of what followed is blurry even to this day. That night, while I was almost too drunk to stand, Paul took my virginity in the back of his Thunderbird. I remember a sharp stabbing pain and that he was rough with me. I know now that his roughness was due to his own level of inexperience, not because of any malice. It was almost date rape, but not quite, because I do remember petting heavily with Paul in the car and then him asking me, “Wanna do it?”
I answered, “Yes.” Although in retrospect I didn't really know what I was doing, I did know that I genuinely liked Paul. He was handsome, popular, strong…all the qualities that appealed to me. I do remember the sex being somewhat mechanical, very robotic. I thought it was me, just being drunk and silly, but throughout our marriage, he as always that way.
Afterwards, Paul drove me home, gave me a kiss goodnight and left.
We “went steady” after that. Sex with Paul was a huge disappointment to me, though, and it didn't improve much after the first time. He would thrust into me a few times, roughly, then cum within a few minutes. It was very, very mechanical. All the dreams I’d had as a young girl about romance and tenderness began to disappear.
I would have broken things off with Paul sooner, but a few weeks after prom I realized that I had missed my period and a test revealed that I was pregnant. When I told Paul he was white-faced with fury, but to his credit, he told me that he would support me and the baby if I decided to keep it. I did want to keep the baby, but our parents put a lot of pressure on both of us to NOT get married, but to seek an abortion instead. We talked about it, and decided to keep the baby as my parents were very strict religiously, but Paul's parents disowned him and me. So six months after prom, we tied the knot in a little ceremony in front of the justice of the peace. Three months later, our first beautiful daughter, Kaitlyn, was born.
Those early years were rough; Paul and I both had to delay college in order to seek out a living. Paul worked nights as janitor and days as a line cook, while we continued to try and save money. My parents helped me watch the baby, and helped pay my way through college, as it was obvious I would be the bread winner in our marriage. Eventually things did get better, but I’m not sure that he ever really forgave me for getting pregnant.
And the sex? Nothing much ever changed there. Paul and I had rushed through the wedding due to my pregnancy; I remember it like it was yesterday. A woman’s wedding day is supposed to feel special and exciting, but there was none of that for me.
Paul was also beginning to show his true colors; he spoke harshly to me many times throughout the wedding-planning process and seemed to have no interest whatsoever in anything that I suggested. I was devastated. Deep down, I knew that this was the real him. Being so young, though, I didn't feel that I had any other option but to marry him, especially with the pressure coming from our parents.
In any case, the wedding day itself passed in a blur. I remember walking up the aisle to Paul and instead of feeling happiness, feeling a heavy knot in the pit of my stomach. I remember my family members looking at me condescendingly and staring at my stomach. It was not a day of joy; it was a day of faint humiliation.
However, my family had grouped together and decided that we needed to have a honeymoon. They decided to send us on a week-long cruise to Antigua, in the Caribbean. I felt like the time together would bring Paul and me closer; how could it not? We were going to have a family together, after all.
The night before the cruise started we spent our wedding night in a hotel. Even though we had a shotgun wedding prior, I still wanted the experience to be special. So I bought some beautiful white lingerie and set up candles all around the room along with a bottle of wine for us.
Like much of what would follow in our marriage, it was a huge disappointment. We arrived at the room late in the evening, and both of us were exhausted. But I gathered up my strength
and asked Paul to take a shower. My plan was to set up the room while he was there.
Paul agreed. He went into the bathroom and shut the door. However, as he walked in, I noticed that he was carrying something. It looked like a magazine. He was holding it in a strange way, almost as if he were hiding it from me. After he closed the door to the bathroom, I heard the water start running.
My head was spinning. What the fuck did he take to the bathroom with him? I had a crazy, nagging suspicion that I knew, but I couldn’t accept it.
The water continued to run, a steady uninterrupted stream. I intuited that he hadn't even gotten into the shower yet. Finally, I couldn't take the curiosity and suspicion anymore.
“Paul, honey? Sorry, but I need to grab something quickly.” Before he had a chance to answer I opened the bathroom door quickly.
There was my husband of just a few hours, sitting on the toilet. He was holding his swollen dick in his hand, stroking it rapidly. The strained, flushed expression on his face made it obvious that he was only a short time away from cumming. In his other hand was a porn magazine. My new husband wasn't getting ready for our wedding night; he was jerking off to porn!
The Spice of Life (The Transformation #1) Page 9