Wall of Silence

by Buchanan, Tracy

  Debbie looked out into the forest, eyes going glassy. ‘I wondered if this day would come. I think I almost wanted it to.’

  Melissa’s heartbeat started racing. ‘What are you trying to say, Debbie?’

  Debbie took in a deep breath then stood up, taking the seat next to Melissa and clasping her two hands in between her own. ‘The day Joel died, I received a panicked phone call from Rosemary.’

  ‘Yes, she called you to come and check on him?’

  ‘That’s right. When I arrived, Bill and Patrick were locked away in Bill’s study. I could hear Patrick crying and Bill talking to him in a low voice. I knew right away something had gone horribly wrong. The twins – they were three, nearly four at the time?’ Melissa nodded, hands starting to tremble beneath Debbie’s touch. ‘They were sitting in the living room like meek little mice, all big, fearful eyes, and strangely quiet. Rosemary was in a bit of a state. I tried to ask her what was going on, but she wouldn’t tell me, just led me upstairs.’ Debbie closed her eyes as though seeing it happen all over again. ‘Joel was lying in bed,’ she said, eyes still closed, ‘and I knew right away he was gone.’

  Melissa let out a sob and Debbie grasped her hands tighter as she looked right into her eyes.

  ‘Rosemary wanted me to check his pulse, just to be sure,’ Debbie continued. ‘So I did and, my God, he was freezing to the touch, even with a big duvet over him. It wasn’t right.’

  Cold, so cold.

  ‘So . . . he’d been dead a while?’ Melissa asked.

  ‘No,’ Debbie said, shaking her head. ‘It wasn’t that. It was freezing cold that day, so they had the heating on full blast, all of us did. No, it was like – like he’d been outside for hours.’

  Melissa almost stopped breathing. ‘Outside? But I thought Patrick found him in bed like that in the morning? How could he have been outside?’

  ‘I know, it seemed like a ridiculous notion at the time, so I dismissed it. But deep down, I knew something was off.’

  Melissa jumped up and started pacing the room, a million theories running through her mind.

  ‘What, did you think they were covering something up?’ Melissa asked. ‘Something about Joel’s death?’

  Debbie started trembling, tears flooding her eyes. ‘Yes. I should have said something at the time, I’ve lived with the regret ever since. I – I just hoped something would come up in the autopsy report, but they just ruled it was heart failure, which of course it would be if—’

  ‘If what?’ Melissa asked.

  ‘If it was hypothermia.’

  Melissa froze. ‘But why would Joel have died of hypothermia?’

  ‘I don’t know, I really don’t know, Melissa! I should have questioned them more at the time.’

  She put her hand to her mouth and let out a sob, but Melissa didn’t go to comfort her. Instead, she got up and walked out.

  It was time to see Patrick and his parents.

  Chapter Fifty-Eight

  Friday 3rd May, 2019

  1.45 p.m.

  Melissa walked down the hospital corridor towards Patrick’s room, her whole body trembling with anger. She could hear laughter, even music. When she got to the small room, it was crowded. Rosemary and Bill were there, Lewis too, sitting on a chair as he looked miserably out into the forest.

  ‘You’re here!’ Rosemary said, giving Melissa a hug. Melissa stayed stiff in her arms and Rosemary frowned slightly.

  ‘What’s all this about?’ Melissa asked, looking around her.

  ‘The votes have been counted, and we’ve just had it confirmed that Patrick has been voted in as Forest Grove’s next parish councillor!’ Bill said, going to hand Melissa a glass of champagne. She shoved it away from him, the drink spilling over Bill’s shirt.

  He looked at her in surprise as she walked to Patrick’s bed.

  ‘Good news, isn’t it?’ Patrick asked her when she got to him, oblivious to how angry she was, his brown eyes alight as he took her hand in his. ‘Finally, something to celebrate.’

  Melissa noticed he’d conveniently forgotten he couldn’t speak. It made her even more angry. ‘Celebrate?’ she said in a shaky voice. ‘How can we celebrate when Grace is in that place?’

  Patrick’s face darkened as Bill and Rosemary exchanged looks.

  ‘Seriously,’ Melissa said, looking at the three of them, ‘I can’t be the only one who thinks all this is inappropriate?’

  ‘Mum’s right,’ Lewis said. ‘It’s wrong. It’s all so fucking wrong!’

  ‘Lewis . . .’ Bill said in a warning voice, squeezing his grandson’s shoulder.

  ‘Let him talk,’ Melissa commanded.

  ‘This is ridiculous, Melissa,’ Rosemary said. ‘Patrick has just received some wonderful news after all the tragedy of the past two weeks and—’

  ‘Shut up, Rosemary!’ Melissa said, her gaze not leaving Lewis’s. ‘Lilly left a suicide note, Lewis. She admitted to me it was her who stabbed Dad.’

  Rosemary gasped, but Bill remained strangely quiet. Patrick just blinked, his face going pale.

  ‘It’s time to tell me, darling,’ Melissa said. ‘No more silence. It’s time to tell the truth.’

  Lewis’s face crumpled. ‘It was Lilly who did it.’

  ‘He’s lying,’ Patrick said. ‘Why are you lying, Lewis?’

  ‘No,’ Melissa said, walking over to her husband. ‘You are lying. You’re always fucking lying.’

  ‘Melissa!’ Rosemary exclaimed.

  ‘Don’t deny it,’ Melissa said to Patrick. ‘You lied about Grace, you lied about all the women you slept with.’ She got Lilly’s letter out, waving it about. ‘Why did Lilly feel the need to protect Grace from you? Tell me that, Patrick?’

  Patrick swallowed as Bill stared at the letter in Melissa’s hand. Rosemary looked confused.

  ‘It was because of Joel,’ a voice said from behind them all.

  They all turned to see Lilly in the doorway. She looked fragile, pale, but she was standing, her hand on the door frame.

  Melissa went to her, pulling her into her arms. ‘Oh, darling.’ She explored her face. ‘What are you doing here?’

  ‘I wanted to find Lewis so I slipped out when a nurse wasn’t looking.’ She turned to her father, her eyes darkening.

  ‘Tell me what happened,’ Melissa said.

  ‘Don’t, Lilly,’ Bill warned his granddaughter. ‘Remember what I said? This won’t be good for your mum.’

  ‘You’re wrong, Grandad,’ Lilly said. ‘Mum can deal with the truth, can’t you, Mum?’

  Melissa nodded. ‘I can.’ And as she said that, she realised she could handle anything . . . even the truth. The final, horrible truth.

  ‘Okay, then here’s the truth,’ Lilly said in a trembling voice. ‘The truth about how Joel died.’

  Melissa’s breath became laboured. She held on to her daughter for support.

  Patrick struggled to get up. ‘Lilly, no!’

  Lilly turned to him, eyes sparking with anger. ‘Shut up, Dad.’ He sank against his pillow and Lilly took a deep, calming breath before turning back to her mother. ‘We went for a walk that morning, the day Joel died. I remember Dad said it might snow so I was proper excited.’

  ‘For God’s sake, you were only three at the time, how could you remember?’ Bill said.

  Melissa gave him a sharp look. ‘You’d be surprised how much kids remember, Bill. And it was certainly a day that would stick in the mind, wasn’t it?’ she said, her voice catching.

  Bill didn’t reply.

  ‘I remember, when we got there, Joel freaked out about something,’ Lilly continued.

  Lewis nodded, rising from his chair and going to his mother and sister. ‘Yeah, Joel would do that sometimes. I think he just got so frustrated with being in that chair all day, especially when he saw me and Lils running around having fun.’ He smiled sadly at Melissa. ‘You always knew how to handle it, though, Mum, didn’t you?’

  ‘Yeah, you’d just hold him tight,’ Lil
ly said as she squeezed Melissa’s hand, ‘telling Joel you loved him. He’d soon calm down.’ Her face clouded over. ‘But Dad, he couldn’t handle it. He’d get all flustered, sometimes even tell Joel to “shut up, you’re embarrassing me!” Remember that, Dad?’

  Patrick put his head in his hands as Bill slumped on to a nearby chair, Rosemary beginning to sob quietly.

  ‘Dad really couldn’t handle it that day,’ Lewis said, fists clenching and unclenching. ‘I don’t remember as much as Lils, but what I do remember is him shouting at Joel. It just made Joel worse, so Dad must’ve had enough. He left Joel there.’

  Melissa glared at Patrick, her whole body trembling with rage. ‘What the fuck is wrong with you?’

  Lilly sighed. ‘Dad told us Joel was going to be a big boy and stay out on his own, just like Grandma Quail did. I heard Joel crying out Dad’s name,’ she continued. ‘He couldn’t follow us, you see. He could try, but his poor legs . . .’ She put her hand to her face as she started sobbing.

  ‘I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking right,’ Patrick whispered.

  ‘Wasn’t thinking right? Wasn’t thinking right?’ She ran up to him, but Bill held her back, wrapping his large arms around her chest. ‘How could you?’ she screamed at him, tears running down her face. ‘He was our boy, our Joel. How could you?’

  ‘I didn’t mean it!’ Patrick said.

  Lewis shook his head. ‘Don’t lie, Dad. Do you remember what you said when we questioned where Joel was later that night?’ Lewis asked. ‘I do. It’s always stuck in my mind ’cos I couldn’t figure out what you meant. You said: “Joel’s dead wood and he needed cutting out.”’

  ‘Jesus Christ,’ Melissa sobbed, collapsing against Bill.

  ‘You said the same thing to Grace two weeks ago, after she broke your watch,’ Lilly said. ‘Remember? You called Grace dead wood and I knew I had to protect her from you like I’d never been able to protect Joel. So that’s when I got the knife,’ she said, her whole body beginning to tremble as she hugged herself. ‘I never really meant to hurt you. It was so you wouldn’t hurt Grace, but then you ran at me and – and it just happened.’

  ‘Look what you did,’ Melissa said, managing to get away from Bill. She marched up to Patrick and started pummelling his chest. ‘You killed Joel, you fucking killed him, and then knowing that scared Lilly so much she stabbed you in case you did the same to Grace!’

  Rosemary tried to protect Patrick. ‘You’re just as guilty,’ she hissed at her. ‘Both of you are. You covered for your precious son and yet, all along, he was the dead wood! You at least owe me – us – the decency of telling us what happened to Joel.’

  ‘We panicked,’ Rosemary said. ‘Wh— when Patrick got back without Joel, I knew something was wrong. Bill went out to find Joel, but he was already gone.’

  ‘So you wheeled him back?’ Melissa said to Bill. ‘You wheeled his dead body back and pretended he was just sleeping? Made the twins lie?’

  ‘I was protecting my son,’ Bill said. ‘Just like I’ve been trying to protect Lilly,’ he added, going to take his granddaughter’s hand. But she shoved him away, shaking her head.

  Melissa frowned. ‘You knew Lilly did it from the start?’

  Rosemary looked just as shocked as Melissa. ‘You knew, Bill?’

  He didn’t say anything, but Lilly nodded. ‘We told Grandad that night when he got back from the hospital. He made us promise not to say anything. He said if we did, you would need to know why I stabbed Dad. Then all the stuff about Joel would come out and you might try to kill yourself again. That’s when he told us you tried to commit suicide, Mum.’

  Melissa shook her head in amazement. Bill had been so deceitful.

  ‘But how did you know about that?’ Melissa asked Bill and Rosemary.

  ‘I saw you, that day in the forest,’ Rosemary admitted. ‘I came looking for you. I’d had enough of your little disappearing act, and I saw you,’ she went on, voice trembling. ‘I saw you tie that rope around your neck.’

  ‘But you didn’t help me,’ Melissa said.

  Rosemary put her hand to her mouth, sobbing as she shook her head.

  ‘Like you didn’t help Joel,’ Lewis said. ‘And I didn’t help Grace. After Dad blamed Grace, Grandad convinced me it was the right thing to do. That I had to choose between Grace or Lilly, and as Grace is only my half-sister . . .’ He let out a sob.

  ‘Oh, my poor, poor boy,’ Melissa said. ‘You thought she was Ryan’s too?’

  He nodded. ‘Why did I listen?’ he wailed.

  Melissa went to him, wrapping her arms around him. Then she reached for Lilly.

  ‘Sorry,’ she said to them, over and over. ‘Sorry, sorry, sorry.’

  Then she heard Patrick’s voice. ‘No, I’m sorry.’ And Melissa could see it in his eyes.

  It was over. It was all over.

  Chapter Fifty-Nine

  Forest Grove Facebook Chit Chat Group

  Saturday 18th April, 2020

  4.05 p.m.

  Belinda Bell

  A year to the day of the incident and I see the Byatts’ house finally has a sold sign outside it.

  Ellie Mileham

  Hopefully Melissa and the kids can put the money from the sale to good use down in Sussex.

  Andrew Blake

  Won’t Patrick get any money? Why’s it always the bloody women who come out with the money in these situations?

  Rebecca Feine

  Jesus, Andrew, the man killed his son and accused the wrong daughter of stabbing him. Plus, I’m not sure what use he can make of any money at HMP Ashbridge.

  Pauline Sharpe

  I still think he should’ve got murder for what he did to poor Joel, not manslaughter. And twelve years? A disgrace. Should’ve been life for the life he took away from that boy. And the way he did it too: leaving him in the woods like that, making the poor boy die in the same way his grandmother had.

  Rebecca Feine

  I know, isn’t it just awful? I still shudder when I think of what the prosecution said about Patrick being inspired by how his mother-in-law had died all those years back. And yet they still ruled manslaughter, when it’s clear to anyone he knew exactly what he was doing, leaving that boy out in the cold like that.

  Charlie Cane

  Well, Patrick has always been a tricksy one, hasn’t he? Managed to squirm his way out of that murder sentence by saying he didn’t mean to kill his son!

  Rebecca Feine

  Haven’t you changed your tune, Charlie Cane!

  Charlie Cane

  Of course I have, after everything that’s come to light. I donated money to his campaign, you know, and then I find out he spent it on buying a Mercedes.

  Belinda Bell

  His party found out too. If all the stuff about Joel hadn’t come out and got him suspended, then the misuse of election funds would have. He got his just desserts. At least we can rest easy, knowing it’s all over now.

  Kitty Fletcher

  It’s not all over, Belinda. It will have repercussions for those poor children.

  Pauline Sharpe

  Not to mention Rosemary and Bill. They might have got let off for their role in covering Joel’s murder, but you’ve seen them around town. They’ll never be the same again. And Debbie too, I don’t think she’ll ever get over the guilt of not saying something about her suspicions. I was so shocked when I read she was involved.

  Rebecca Feine

  Oh, I think Debbie will be just fine. I spoke to her last week. She’s settling in really well at her new home in Richmond, though I could hear her grandchildren in the background making a racket.

  Graham Cane

  Speaking of deserters, did you hear Daphne’s moving back to London too? Good riddance, I say.

  Daphne Peterson

  Why, thank you, Graham. You’ve always been such a charmer.

  Rebecca Feine

  I can see your red face from here, Graham!

  Graham Cane

  No red
face here. Your loss, not ours, Daphne. You won’t find another place like Forest Grove.

  Belinda Bell

  I agree. I bet poor Melissa is missing it here, it’s a shame she had to move.

  Daphne Peterson

  Well, of course she bloody had to. As for missing Forest Grove, God help the next family who moves in.

  Belinda Bell

  Andrea, can we ban Daphne from the group now, seeing as she’s leaving soon?

  Andrew Blake

  Sorry to hijack this thread, but has anyone seen the graffiti at the park near Birch Road? I guarantee it’ll be kids from Ashbridge coming in and doing it.

  Kitty Fletcher

  Sad to say, I have to agree. I tried to drop off some leaflets about my books at the factory there but was told to leave with a few choice words! Clearly the factory workers let their children sit on iPads all day long.

  Daphne Peterson

  Jesus, Kitty, you do talk a lot of crap.

  Graham Cane

  Rebecca Feine

  So do you, Graham. Actually, I know who did that graffiti. Carter Cooper. Isn’t he one of your poster boys, Kitty?

  Andrea Cooper

  Right, that’s it, this thread is DELETED!

  Chapter Sixty

  Saturday 18th April, 2020

  4.05 p.m.

  I’m getting used to the smell of the sea. Mum says Grandma Quail told her the sea heals because of the salt. I think it’s more than that, though. I also think it’s the fact it’s so open and transparent and there aren’t any trees to hide behind.

  I miss Forest Grove. I miss my friends, I miss Maddy. I even miss Dad, despite all the bad things he did. I suppose he redeemed himself in the end, lying and telling the police he stabbed himself. I think he hoped that would make Mum not tell the police about what he did to Joel, but no chance. That was the first time I ever saw Detective Powell properly smile, when we all told her what had happened. All along, I thought she was hoping it would be one of us who hurt Dad, but the truth was, she just knew there was more to it than met the eye.

  There’s laughter in the distance. I look up, see Lewis chasing Grace down the beach as Sandy bounds after them. Mum is sitting on a picnic blanket and she catches my eye, waving at me. She’s different now. Harder, like the wood of a helm oak. But that’s good. She says she needed to harden up anyway. She seems happy here. I think she misses the trees, the feel of the bark beneath her palms. But as I watch her in the morning, kneeling down and waving her fingers in the sea, I think she’ll get used to it here one day.