“Finally,” he muttered, almost under his breath but not quite. My eyes shot to his as pain laced through me. He held my gaze without any remorse at all and I spun around, unsteady as I rushed down the hall. I pushed and pushed the button for the elevator, as footsteps sounded behind me.
“Bailey, your mom wants you to go back to the room for a minute,” Abbi muttered in a bored tone and I ignored her, feeling a full-on panic attack coming on. I pushed and pushed on the call button, but nothing was happening.
After another few seconds, a nurse passed by, and seeing the panic on my face, she spoke gently to me.
“Honey, these elevators aren’t working. It’s the ones at the other end of the hall that you need to use.” I nodded at her, completely focused on escaping and as she walked away from me a shove at my back sent me flying across the floor. Abbi stepped over me, making sure to step on my fingers as she did.
I broke. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t see. My vision was blurry from paint and tears. My breath came in gasps and my chest hurt. I struggled to get up and even with all the help of the nurses and some orderlies who were passing, I couldn’t calm my breathing down. Everything was a mess. It was all my fault. What had I done? He hated me now. He should hate me now. It was my fault. All my fault.
The thoughts went round and round in my mind and my breathing became shallower until darkness descended, and I blacked out. I came toin Cooper’s room on a chair with my leg propped up. The doctors spoke over me and I began to hyperventilate again. Zane came over to me and took my hand. He spoke into my ear, trying to calm me but his words sounded like bees buzzing. I couldn’t make them out. In my panic, I was locked in my head and completely freaking out.
A nurse approached me with a paper bag and as she sat down the doctors all moved away from me. I caught a glimpse of Coop and he looked as though he was going to vomit. I spoke and the nurse just stared at me in concern, as the words “my fault, all my fault” came out of my mouth over and over. I didn’t respond to questions and the doctors spoke about me being in delayed shock. My mom looked at me and for the first time in the longest time, I could see the concern in her expression.
Eventually, I came out of it. They gave me a paper bag and made me breathe into the bag and watch it expand and then contract. I began to focus on that motion instead of the panic and began to calm down.
After a few minutes the doctors all left, my mom did too because she’d gotten a call and she really had to answer it, like always. As the door swung closed it was only Zane, Abbi, Cooper, and myself left in the room. I couldn’t bring myself to look at anyone, so I stared at Zane’s hand in my own. He had chipped nails and rough fingers and it made me wonder what he did all day. The tension rose again as we all sat in silence and my breathing started to speed. I tried counting backward in my head, but I couldn’t remember the numbers. I tried to say the alphabet, but after c my memory was gone.
After a few more minutes, I whispered to Zane, “Take me home, please. I can’t be here anymore.” I didn’t look at Cooper, but I knew my words had affected him because he called Zane over to him in a dead-sounding voice, whispering in his ear. Zane nodded and glanced back at me, where I was rocking backward and forwards trying to focus on the movement to keep me calm.
Zane moved towards me and leaned over me.
“I’ll just be a minute. I’m going to speak to your mom. Abbi, can you help me find Henrietta? I need to know what clothes Coop is wanting and I need you to call your parents to ask if you can stay here with him tonight.” My eyes tightened and my rocking got harder as they left the room. I didn’t want to be there alone, especially alone with Coop. Not when he was being so nasty and vicious to me. He’d finally broken me.
The next few minutes passed in silence as I continued to rock with my hands around my waist holding the pain inside as I ignored Coop and his occasional glances.
“Bailey,” Cooper’s soft voice called out to me and my stomach erupted in butterflies, but I couldn’t look at him anymore. I couldn’t bear to see the blame on his face aimed at me again. It burned me and as I thought about how he’d looked at me, my breathing began to elevate again. “Bailey, please?” His hoarse voice pleaded with me and tears stung my eyes.
I shook my head to let him know I couldn’t look at him. I couldn’t face him. He’d hurt me so badly and I didn’t know how to let it go. “I…I’m…” he stuttered, and I could hear the tears in his voice. “I’m so sorry, Bailey. I know I shouldn’t have put it all on you…” The tears in my eyes rolled down my face and I rubbed at them with shaking fingers. “Please, Bails, just let me know you’re okay.”
I shook my head again and muttered, “Not okay.” It was all I could manage as I grabbed my crutches, opening the door, and hobbling my way into the hall. I glanced back as I left the room and his face was broken. Tears streamed down his cheeks, and he lifted his hand, holding it out to me. I paused in the doorway, leaning my crutches against my chest as I reached up and undid the necklace he’d given me.
Slowly and carefully, I made my way back into the room and dropped it on the bed next to his hand. “Bailey,” he whispered brokenly and I shook my head, turning away from him and heading for the doorway. “I love you,” he whispered as I closed the door on him and my whole body shook at hearing the words I’d dreamed of being spoken by him, but it was only words. And the way he’d acted proved to me that he didn’t love me, hell, he didn’t even like me.
Zane arrived back a moment later as I leaned on the door outside.
“Are you okay?” he asked me with concern, and I shook my head.
“Not really, can we leave?” He nodded and spoke softly to me.
“Just a minute, I need to see if Coop needs anything before we go.” I shrugged as he walked into the room and heard him shout in surprise. “Cooper, what the hell are you doing?” I peered around the door to see what was happening.
“I’m. Getting. Out. Of. Here.” Every word sounded like effort and agony, but he was determined and soon he’d pulled the drip out of his arm, covering the bed and Zane in blood. “Get. My. Doctor. I need to. Go. Home.” Zane walked out and glared at me, somehow thinking this was my fault.
“What the fuck happened? He asked to speak to you and now he’s refusing to stay in the hospital. What did you say to him?”
I shook my head and squared my shoulders. I’d done nothing wrong, so I refused to be intimidated by Zane.
“Nothing,” I hissed out. “I didn’t say a word to him.” Zane walked away and I heard a cry of pain from inside the room. I knew I had to go back in; I had to stop Cooper from leaving the hospital, but I didn’t think he’d listen to a word I said.
I moved into the doorframe and his gaze shifted towards me, his face lightening in relief.
“Bails,” he whispered breathlessly, “don’t leave me. Please. Don’t l-l-l-leave…” His eyes filled with tears and I stared at him through the numbness that had overtaken me.
“Get back into bed.” He nodded and followed my directions without argument. “You need to stay until the doctors think you are well enough to leave.”
His eyes stayed trained on mine, but I stood, straight-backed and proud, refusing to give anything away. I was completely destroyed by him. He didn’t need to know that he’d caused it. I didn’t want to speak to him, mollycoddle him in any way. I just wanted away from him.
“Bailey?” he asked me panting, as he leaned against his pillows. “Talk to me. I know I was a dick to you…” I shrugged and his face fell. The door opened and Abbi stepped back into the room. She looked between us and her eyes turned glacial.
“Get out of here, Bailey, or so help me I’ma swing for you, crutches or no crutches.”
I nodded without saying anything and turned for the door, ignoring them both as I closed the door behind me. Zane arrived and poked his head into the room as the doctor walked in to speak to Cooper, closing the door behind him. One second later, Abbi walked out, and Zane was called in. The door
closed and Abbi stood on one side of the hall and I stood on the other. Stirrings of panic fluttered in my stomach again, and my mom arrived back with Cate relieving my panic.
Cate looked at me and opened her arms. Her six-month bump was adorable, and I clip-clopped over to her and sank into her arms.
“Oh, sweetie, you’re okay. It’s okay.” The door to the room opened again and Zane walked out.
“Henrietta, he’s being discharged home today. He told the doctor he can’t relax here, and he just wants to be at home in his own bed. The doctor has said he was only being kept in for observation, so as long as he can be checked on at home, they are happy for…” He broke off as the doctor walked out and asked my mom for a word.
Cate peeked in and waved as Abbi marched over to Cooper and sat holding his hand. He saw me watching from beside Cate and his features paled. I turned away from him, speaking loudly to Cate over a cacophony of voices, which all went quiet as soon as I spoke.
“Can we leave yet?”
My mom gasped in surprise and Zane stopped kicking at the ground with his toe. Cate leaned down and whispered to me.
“Bailey, what’s going on? This isn’t like you.” I shrugged, thinking damn right it wasn’t like me, but I didn’t want to be here anymore. I took a breath and whispered, “I just don’t want any more blame being put on me. Can you just take me home, please?” My eyes filled with tears and Cate just glanced at me helplessly.
“Sure, honey,” she spoke after a second as Zane came over to stand at my side.
“I’ll take her outside now. She just needs some air”
My mom spoke from behind me, “Bailey, you need to calm down. Cooper will be ready for discharge in a few minutes. The doctor is just getting his medication together and then I’ll take you both home.”
My face paled and my teeth chattered. The tightness was building in my chest again at the thought of being in the car with him. Zane moved beside me and put his arm around me.
“I’ll take Bailey outside now. Call me when you get downstairs.” My mom nodded and we left. As soon as the elevator doors closed my breathing eased. “Bailey, I know how Coop feels about you. He didn’t mean to blame you, but you were an easy target and even though he loves you, he couldn’t help it.”
I nodded at him, barely listening to his words. “Just get me home, please, Zane. I can’t be in that car with him.” He smiled sadly at me.
“I can’t, Bailey, I’m already taking Cate and Abbi back.” My shoulders slumped as I took in his words slowly.
“Hey, it’s okay. You’ll be okay; your mom’ll be there. Coop won’t say anything in front of her.” He led the way to the cars, and I leaned against my mom’s panting for breath due to the exertion and due in part to the thought of having to sit in the car with Cooper, with my skin itching as I stood waiting for my mom. “Here they come,” he said softly as he stood beside me watching for them. I took in a deep breath and glanced up, first meeting my mom’s eyes, and then Cate’s. Beside them stood a nurse pushing a wheelchair with Coop in it as Abbi walked beside them.
As the sensor clicked to unlock the car, I dived into the car as quickly as I could, choosing the back seat because it was roomier, and I could sit with my leg on the seat. My leg was throbbing painfully, and I was trying to think back to when I’d last taken my painkillers, but I couldn’t remember. As the party around Coop dissipated, the back door of the car opened, and my mom poked her head in.
She looked at me and then at my left leg for a moment before she spoke.
“Bailey, move your leg. Put it in the space between the seats so Cooper can sit back here. The back seat’s better for his chest.” I moved my leg and turned to look out the window as Coop climbed into the car. He was panting hard and I could see in the reflection on the window that he had tears in his eyes.
“Bailey?” he spoke softly, and I turned to look at him, trying so hard to feel numb, but feeling something else entirely. I met his eyes and the green was more pronounced as he looked at me with his good eye. His other eye was still bloodshot and swollen.
“Can you clip this for me?” he asked me, holding the seat belt in his hand and I nodded. I hadn’t even noticed he’d been holding something and as my hand touched his, fire raced through me. He must have felt it too because his eyes widened as his fingers contracted around mine for a moment. “Thanks,” he muttered as he let me go and turned away from me. I clicked the belt in place just as my mom hopped back in the car.
She made idle chit chat all the way back, but neither of us responded and the atmosphere between us was tense, to say the least. We were the first to arrive back and my mom spoke to us before she shot out from the car. “Kids, I’ve had you both set up in the downstairs guest rooms, which means you’ll have to share a bathroom. Let me just run inside and make sure it’s all set up. Bailey,” she spoke to me as I unclipped my belt and shuffled backward. There wasn’t enough room to move and I had to get out of this car.
“Stay here until I get back, okay?” she continued, oblivious to my growing anxiety. As she turned and walked up the stairs, I prayed for Zane to come home, for anyone to arrive and get me out of this car.
“Bailey,” Cooper softly whispered. I ignored him, closing my eyes and trying to focus on anything other than the fact I was stuck in a small metal box with him. His fingers touched my hand, and he ran a finger over my palm. I pulled my hand away and stared at him in horror shaking my head at him.
“Bailey, please? I’m sorry, okay? I shouldn’t have taken what happened out on you. I know it wasn’t your fault.” His hurried whispers meant nothing, even though my heart leaped at his words. I had to be strong and stay away from him. I moved closer to the door and glanced over at him.
“It’s only words, easy to say,” I whispered, and then his door opened, and Zane was there to help him out. Abbi on the other side of him.
He turned his head towards mine and muttered, “This isn’t over,” so only I could hear. One second later he was out of the car and I swung myself around, shuffling across the seat to climb out the car when the door slammed shut on my foot. There was no way for me to control the scream of pain that left me, and my eyes watered as agony shot through my leg.
Dizziness overwhelmed me and nausea made my stomach roll. I leaned back against the other door and waited for either sensation to pass. Neither did and after a few more seconds the door opened, and Cate was standing there with a look of fury on her sweet face.
“What the hell was that?” she asked and her usually sweet voice was hard as flint. I must have looked surprised because she leaned closer. “That little witch hit the door on your foot on purpose. I’m sending her home right now.” She was shaking with anger and I moved towards her. She held her hand towards me and handed me my crutches. “What’s her problem anyway?”
I shrugged, and she gazed at me with a look I’d never seen before in her eyes. It was almost suspicious. “Has something happened between you and Cooper?” My head shot round to find her eyes appraising me, and she nodded. “He couldn’t keep his eyes off you, even the first time you met him in the dress shop. His eyes followed you everywhere.” I shook my head at her as tears filled my eyes.
“He hates me,” I managed to mutter as we reached the stairs and one of my tears fell. The lump in my throat made it difficult for me to swallow, to breathe.
“Honey, sometimes it’s easy to confuse love and hate.” I shook my head at her, cutting her off.
“I’m not confused, he blames me for what happened yesterday, and so does Abbi. That’s what her problem with me is. He hates me, and she does too, but it wasn’t my fault. I swear.” The tears came thick and fast and I couldn’t stop them.
Cate held me and patted my back as we stood in the entryway of the house. After a few minutes, my leg really started to ache and I turned to face the inside of the house, drying my face on my sweatshirt. My vision was still blurred with tears, but my eyes were instantly drawn to the figure of someone sitting ha
lfway down the hall, head in hands and shoulders shaking.
Without having to look closer I knew it was Coop, and I knew without a shadow of a doubt that he’d heard my breakdown. Cate glanced at me and nodded towards him, whispering in my ear, “He needs you, sweetie. Go speak to him.” The last thing I wanted to do was speak to him, but I knew she was right, he did need me.
As I moved slowly towards him, my crutches clunking with each step on the marble floor, he looked up at me and I was almost knocked onto my ass by the pain I saw cross his features. He was sitting on the chair and his eyes never left mine as I moved slowly towards him.
I reached him and for a moment he just looked at me, then he shook his head and turned to look at the door. Abbi walked through and walked towards where we were standing. She moved to shove me, but I reacted first, and I whacked the back of her leg with my crutch.
“Oops, sorry,” I muttered before I turned and went down the hall.
I wanted to talk to Coop. I needed to talk to him, but he didn’t want me to. If he had, he wouldn’t have looked away. His words were obviously just that, words. He wanted me to be in love with him because then he could control me, well, no more. I wasn’t a toy, something he could pick up and throw away whenever he felt like it. His actions hurt me, and I needed to tell him that whatever we’d had was over.
The next few days Coop and I didn’t get the opportunity to talk and when his dad got home, I stayed closed up in my room. Cate came in to sit with me, and we talked about everything but the elephant in the room. As Tuesday hit, my mom and Shawn went back to work. Shawn had a board meeting to attend and I heard my mom and Cate discussing it the night before. He was pretty nervous about it but was confident that he’d be okay.
According to Cate, it had gone as well as it could with the board happy to keep him as CEO as long as he attended regular drug testing, providing them with the results. Cate told me he’d been in to apologize to Cooper and had spoken to Zane, but so far he hadn’t come near me; though, Cate said my mom had spoken to him and told him to keep his distance from me which made me feel a little better, but not much.
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