Stepbrother

by Stacy McWilliams

  It was starting to worry me, but I kept my mouth shut because I couldn’t push him away or that mausoleum we called ‘home’ would become unbearable. It began raining and I jumped into my car. I twisted the key in the ignition, but nothing happened. I tried again and again, but nothing. I texted Lish and asked where she was, finding out she was out with David, and the rest of my group of friends, so they couldn’t help me. Desperately I tried Zane again, as the rain got heavier, but there was nothing.

  I sat for a few moments considering my options when a car pulled into the almost vacant lot. The headlights shone on me as the wind roared loudly and my heart hammered in my ears. The car pulled up beside me and I sighed in relief as Coop rolled his window down.

  “Need a lift?” he called over the wind, smiling as I nodded at him. I dived out of my car, grabbing my school bag and lifting it over my head as the rain became so heavy I could barely see his car. Just the outline of the shape was visible.

  My hands touched the cold metal and my fingers roamed along until I felt the shape of the handle under my fingers. I opened the door and jumped in, splashing him with water.

  “Jeez, Bails, you’re soaked.” I shivered and pulled my belt over me. He started the car, glancing over at me every few seconds. He was driving slower than normal, but it was raining so heavily and after a few minutes he pulled over.

  We sat there in uncomfortable silence as he waited for the rain to ease a little. We couldn’t drive the country roads in the dark and heavy rain. He tapped the steering wheel and stared out at the road. I glanced down at my fingers and nervously played with the strap of my bag as I waited for him to drive off.

  “Bailey,” he whispered, and I turned my head to face him almost without conscious thought. The variety of emotions in his eyes confused me. I saw anger, hatred, pain, regret, and love, but he closed his eyes and turned back to the road. He breathed in through his nose and out through his mouth, but didn’t speak at all. Eventually, the rain eased off a little, and he drove home a little faster.

  We finally made it onto the drive and as we pulled into the garage, I took my belt off, but before I opened the door he spoke.

  “It’s just you and me in there tonight. Zane’s out again, and our parents are out of town on business. I’ll take the downstairs guest room.” I jerked my head to show I’d heard him and clambered out of his car, running for the house.

  As I sprinted inside, a flash of lightning lit the yard, and all the lights in the house flickered. I tensed in surprise but forced myself to keep going. Once inside my room, I stripped off, leaving the door open. Coop wouldn’t come up anyway. He couldn’t be alone with me. I was standing at my dresser, pulling out warm pajamas when I heard a huff of surprise behind me.

  I spun around and Coop was standing there open-mouthed. He had my cell in his hand. I knew he’d seen me naked, but my body burned with heat as he stood watching me without moving. I held my pj’s over my chest and walked over, taking my cell from his hand. He didn’t move, but his face burned with lust as I approached him.

  I tried not to touch him, but my fingernails scraped his hand and his hand contracted.

  “Bailey,” he whispered as I stepped back, and my eyes went to his. He shook his head and turned for the door, hissing over his shoulder, “You did that on purpose.” I started in surprise and threw my teddy bear at his head. It was the closest thing to me, and I wouldn’t damage him, but I was furious with him.

  “No, I fucking didn’t.” I spat at him.

  I moved towards the door, slamming it in his face as he glared at me. His glare made my skin heat and I knew that it was just covering how much his gaze had set me on fire, but I needed to be angry. He’d walked into my room without knocking, but he’d told me he’d stay downstairs. I had no idea he’d break his own rules to bring me something I didn’t even know I didn’t have.

  I cranked the heat up in the shower and then turned it down to a mellow heat. I grabbed the showerhead and moved it up and down my body. As the water cascaded off of me, I felt the heat of Coop’s gaze burn into me. I ran my finger down and spread my folds, running my hand further down and I slipped my fingers inside, pressing against my spot as the water from the shower hit my clit.

  After a few minutes, my legs began to shake, and I came hard. As I turned the shower off, my mood lifted and I walked out into my room, finding a rose on my bed with a note curled around it.

  I’m so sorry.

  That was it. I lifted the rose and placed it on the bedside table before climbing under the warm covers. Just as I was drifting off to sleep, there was a knock at my door, and I walked out to see Coop standing there. He was shaking, but I glanced behind him and there was nothing there.

  “Bails,” he whispered, pulling me into his arms. I was feeling more than a little confused, but at the same time thrilled that he wanted me in his arms.

  I tried to rein in my emotions as I attempted to lead him back into my room, but he shook his head holding on to me as though I was going to disappear. His shoulders shook, and he sank to the floor.

  “Coop, what’s the matter? You’re scaring me.” He shook his head against my neck and more tears soaked into me.

  We sat in the hallway for a few hours and eventually he let me go.

  “Bails, I’m sorry.” He stood up and walked away from me.

  “Coop, what is it? Speak to me, please?” He shook his head and turned towards the stairs. “You’ll hate me forever and I can’t risk that.” His voice was low but fierce, and he walked down the stairs without looking back.

  The wind howled at my window and I sat doodling on my window seat as I watched the raindrops in distinct patterns down the window. Footsteps in my room made me turn, but there was no one there. My room door closed, and I shuddered, before going over and checking it out, but there was nothing there. I grabbed my cell; it was just after midnight.

  I hoped Coop was asleep because I was starving. I hurried from my room a little creeped out by the footsteps and closed the door softly at my back. I rushed towards the kitchen and ran in as the wind howled louder. I rushed into the pantry, trying to work out what to cook when my eyes landed on the box of mac ’n’ cheese on the shelf. I grabbed it and went to work.

  As it was ready, Coop walked into the kitchen and his eyes widened at the sight of me, dishing out my midnight snack.

  “There’s enough for you if you want some too,” I spoke softly to him, and he smiled, not quite meeting my eyes.

  “You wanna watch a movie with me, Bails?”

  “Okay,” I muttered in a soft voice and he motioned to the family room.

  I grabbed the plate of food and made my way into the family room setting it down on the coffee table as I pressed the remote at the TV. As it flared to life, Coop walked in and zipped up his hoodie, but it still rode up a little showing his toned abs as he leaned forwards to put down two cans of soda on the table and a few packets of chips and candy.

  My eyes roamed unapologetically, and his amused smile met my eyes when I raised my eyes to his. It didn’t quite meet his eyes though and the pain he was trying so hard to hide set my teeth on edge.

  He sat down and stared at the TV.

  “So, what are you in the mood for, Bails?” he asked, turning towards me and my heart stopped for a moment because his lips brushed mine. I’d leaned forwards to grab a soda, but it slipped from my grasp as our lips connected. He gasped and pulled back, shaking his head. He muttered, “Sorry,” before turning back to the TV.

  He picked some sort of dystopian action movie about a girl fighting for survival. The premise didn’t interest me, and I focused on eating and maintaining a distance with Coop. I was grateful it was Friday, but I knew I needed to get a ride back to school to get my car the following day. I wondered whether to ask Coop if he could take me, but I wasn’t sure how to broach the subject.

  His hand inched closer to me. The girl in the movie was hot. His finger was now touching my skin. Should I move my hand or just
leave it there?

  I thought as he caressed the skin gently and then stopped, laying his thumb on my open palm. He didn’t speak during the movie and eventually, I was sucked in by the storyline. He smiled at me as I shifted, unintentionally moving closer to him. As I tried to shift again, just at the end of the movie, my fingers grazed his hip, and he sucked in a sharp breath. He turned his gaze to me as I glanced over at him.

  The lust in his eyes was palpable and I almost moved closer to him, but his eyes widened, and I glanced over my shoulder, seeing Jan standing there. She lost it and color flooded her cheeks.

  “I tell you my parents are making me abort our baby and you are here getting cozy with your stepsister. Guess life is good for you.”

  Her words, laced with venom made me freeze as Coop shot over the back of the sofa and went to her.

  “It’s not what it looks like, she was helping me deal.”

  His voice was low and desperate, and I couldn’t listen to him plead with her any longer. I walked in a daze towards the stairs and climbed up to my room. She was pregnant! He’d slept with her and gotten her knocked up! My head swam around and around with that and it made my chest ache.

  I didn’t want to sleep in my bed, or my closet because that was next to him and my closet reminded me too much of him, so I decided to go to sleep in the downstairs guest room. I grabbed my cell and bear from my room, before heading downstairs.

  As I walked, I heard them arguing and I wanted to escape. I needed to get the hell out of the house. I couldn’t stand being there, but I had no car and nowhere to run to. I saw Coop’s keys sitting on the counter and I didn’t think. I grabbed some shoes and shoved my feet into them, and then scooped the keys from the counter running for the garage. It was still wild outside, but I couldn’t spend another minute in the house.

  I unlocked the car and climbed in, adjusting the seat before opening the garage. I drove down the road without a destination in mind and when I began to feel tired, I rooted around, coming up with a crisp twenty dollar bill, so I stopped at a gas station, picking up cans of Red Bull and putting fuel in the car. As I cranked the first one open my cell began ringing. I glanced over at it, saw it was Coop, and ended the call.

  I decided to drive to my old home, and maybe visit Leah and Alice, but then as I drove, I decided I wanted to go to visit Louis. I hadn’t been in a while and I’d never needed my big brother like I did then. I drove around for a while and when it finally hit six a.m., I drove into the cemetery. As I reached his grave, my heart sank. I didn’t even have flowers, but I wanted to see him.

  My granddad was there tending to Louis’s grave with a waterproof coat on.

  “Granddad,” I murmured, and he looked up with a sad smile on his face.

  “Bailey, my girl. How are you?” I smiled at him and moved towards him, wrapping my arm around his waist as I took in Louis’s grave.

  “I’m… I’m okay,” I spoke, but a jagged pain shot through me and my granddad looked down at me in concern.

  “You want to visit with this old man and your grandma? She’d love to see you.” I nodded feeling my face lift in a genuine smile. We walked over to Coop’s car, and my cell was going crazy. My granddad took in the name and handed it to me. “It’s your stepbrother, sweetie.”

  I knew I didn’t have a choice but to answer it, so I stepped out of the car, answering the call as the wind picked up causing the line to whistle.

  “Bailey, where are you? Where the fuck is my car?” His angry voice sounded oddly broken as the wind whistled.

  “Your car is fine, it’s with me and I’ll be back with it later.” I spoke to him coldly, and he went completely crazy.

  “Bailey, you can’t steal people’s cars. I have stuff I need to do today. Come back now,” he screamed at me.

  “No,” I hissed and ended the call. I sent him a text telling him I’d be back soon, but I wasn’t more specific than that. I pressed the button to turn off my cell and climbed into the car.

  As we headed towards their house, my granddad made idle chitchat, asking about school, the weather, and my summer plans. He also asked about Coop, Zane, and Shawn. He didn’t ask about Mom, but he wasn’t likely to since my dad was his son and they’d backed him to the hilt when my dad had left my mom. He didn’t mention my dad and I didn’t ask about him.

  When we reached their house, he directed me where to park and I parked behind his Buick. He told me as we parked up that he liked to walk to the cemetery to clear his head sometimes He led me into the house where my grandma squealed in delight at seeing me. She lamented how thin I was and promptly went into the kitchen to make food. My stepbrother and sister on my dad’s side took up most of the space on the walls. They looked so big and happy. I saw a photo of my dad and his wife with them and I stopped looking.

  “You miss your dad?” my granddad asked, and I shrugged.

  “Not really. I’m just upset I missed out on these two growing up I guess.” My granddad nodded and led me into the kitchen where I sat on the counter and watched him and my grandma dance around the kitchen. Their love was so easy, and they’d been married for over fifty years. It made my heart hurt to see how happy they were.

  I glanced at the table and when I looked back up, they were both looking at me in concern. My grandma set a plate on the table filled with bacon, eggs, cornbread, and fried bread. She also set a coffee mug and the pot beside me. As I poured myself a large coffee, she sat down beside me and my granddaddy sat on the other side of me. We sat in silence and ate for a while. The only sounds were the old grandfather clock in the kitchen and the creak of the wooden swing, just visible through the window over the sink.

  I glanced around as I finished eating, taking in the new pine cabinets and pale-yellow walls. There were sunny pictures over the walls and noticed that it was the same yellow and white checkered tablecloth that covered the small dining table we were sitting at. Even though the colors of the walls had changed, the place was warmly familiar to me. I sipped my coffee, thankful for the nectar of the gods because I was bone tired.

  “Bailey,” my grandma spoke, gently drawing my attention to her, “Is everything okay?” I nodded and stared at my plate, feeling as though my emotions had gone through the blender. I opened my mouth to speak, but as I tried to find the words to set my grandparents at ease, my tears broke free and I broke down sobbing. As they finally calmed me down, I told them some of what was bothering me, about being hated at school by Cooper and his friends, about my volatile relationship with Coop, and my mom refusing to admit that Louis had existed.

  My grandparents both stood in outrage at that and I leaned on the table tiredly as they spoke over my head. After a few minutes, my grandma shook my shoulder gently.

  “Bailey, we’ve set up the guest room for you to sleep in today. You can drive back later when you’re rested, okay, or you can stay here the night if you want and can go home tomorrow.”

  I crawled into the guest bed and completely relaxed, I fell asleep at nine and didn’t wake up for hours. My body was stiff as I woke up and I looked at my cell to see what time it was, but it was still off. I glanced around and saw the time on the clock on the dresser. I shot out of bed and knew that Coop was going to be furious when I got home.

  I shot into the guest washroom, cleaning my face, and using the facilities. Voices sounded from the sitting room and I walked out to see my dad standing stoically in front of the fireplace. His eyes widened as he looked at me, but other than that he gave no sign he knew who I was. “Mom, Dad?” he asked, his eyes darting between them both. I moved towards the kitchen but before the door swung shut, I heard him ask, with disgust coloring his tone, “What the hell is this?”

  My granddad went on the defensive and told my dad that I was still his daughter and that I needed my dad. Did he want what happened to Louis to happen to me? My dad began shouting at his parents that they needed to stay out of his business, and I knew I had to interject. My grandparents were good people, and they didn�
��t deserve to fall out with their son over me.

  “Grandma, Grampa, thank you so much for having me, but I really need to be getting home, please don’t argue on my account. My dad made his feelings about me clear in the letter he sent me six years ago.” Everyone’s eyes shot to me and my granddad’s face fell. I walked over and hugged him tightly. “I’ll come back and visit soon.” He nodded and glared at my dad over my shoulder. I walked to my grandma and hugged her tight too. “Would it be okay if I come to stay in a few weeks, for the weekend?”

  My grandma’s face lit up, and she smiled, delightedly. “Sure it would be okay. Ian,” she called to my grandpa. “Did you hear? Bailey wants to come here to stay, for the weekend?”

  My grandpa turned and smiled widely as I walked towards the door and my dad followed me out.

  “Drive safe,” he said as he shut the door behind me. I pressed the on button on my cell and it flooded with messages, mostly from Coop, but one from my mom which I answered and one from Zane which I also answered.

  I drove out of town and headed home with dread in the pit of my stomach.

  I arrived home at half-past nine. As soon as I was in the garage, my nerves kicked in, but the house seemed empty. I walked slowly into the kitchen as pangs of hunger hit me. I decided to make a sandwich to take upstairs with me.

  I set about making my sandwich and made an extra one for later, so I didn’t need to face Coop until the next day when our parents could act as buffers. A door slammed overhead, and I jumped like a marionette on a string. I needed to calm down, it wasn’t my fault I’d reacted as I had.

  I put all the ingredients away and made my way slowly upstairs, my head darting from side to side as I walked. My paranoia seemed to be taking me to a whole new level, but as I stepped onto our floor my eyes darted along the hall and I breathed out in relief. As I tiptoed along the hallway his door opened and I froze, trapped in his glare. He moved towards me and I swallowed, backing up a step.