Crime & Passion

by Chantel Rhondeau

  Something felt funny. The sensation was wrong where her mom’s fingers touched. Madeline brushed Karen’s hand away and replaced it with her own. She felt the too-smooth skin that bulged slightly from her face. It extended from under her eye down to her mouth.

  “Give me a mirror,” she ordered.

  “Now, Maddie,” her dad started, sitting on the other side of her bed, “I don’t want you to worry about that right now. Everything’s fine.”

  Madeline looked past her parents at Donovan, who had moved to the foot of the bed. “I want to know what happened,” she told him. “I want to see my face.”

  Her dad leaned forward and gripped her hand in his. “Maddie, sweetie, no matter what, you are beautiful. The most beautiful woman ever.”

  Donovan nodded his agreement, and her mom let out a small sob.

  Must be bad.

  She stared into her dad’s brown eyes, so like her own. He looked utterly exhausted. She could only imagine how hard the last three weeks had been for her folks. She smiled at them. “You know I love you both, so much.”

  Her parents nodded.

  “It’s not that I don’t want to talk to you, but I need to speak with Donovan. Alone.”

  Her mom’s hand fluttered against Madeline’s hair gently. “Sweetheart, let’s just wait a little bit. When you start remembering then we can help you to the mirror and talk about things.” Her mom’s eyes darted to the side of Madeline’s face, seeming to trace whatever was wrong there as tears welled in her green eyes.

  She didn’t want to argue with her parents, and she didn’t want them worrying any more than they already had. However, she was anxious to see what happened. The more they tried to reassure her, the more nervous she became.

  “This has nothing to do with my face,” she lied. “Donovan and I had a big fight last night and—”

  “Three weeks ago, Maddie,” her dad cut in.

  Damn. That would take some getting used to. Yesterday it was late April and today it was almost June. She sighed and traced the mark on her face again with a gentle fingertip.

  She glanced at Donovan. “Three weeks ago, then. I need to talk to him about it.” She squeezed her parents’ hands tightly, trying to be calm and reassuring herself. “It sounds like you guys have been here constantly and you must be tired. Why don’t you get some rest now that we know I’m fine? It’ll give Donovan and me time to work things out.”

  ***

  Keith and Karen said a few more reassuring things to Madeline before standing from the bed.

  “We’ll be back in two hours to hear the test results,” Karen said.

  Madeline nodded. “That’s great, Mom. Take a nap, okay?”

  Keith gripped Donovan’s arm firmly. “Good luck, son,” he whispered, and then escorted his wife to the doorway.

  Donovan took a step forward as soon as the door closed. “I didn’t mean it, Maddie. You have to believe me.”

  “We can talk about that later. Mom and Dad mean well and I didn’t want to hurt their feelings, but them lying to me isn’t making me feel better.”

  “They aren’t lying. Keith just doesn’t want to overwhelm you.”

  “Not knowing is overwhelming me.” Madeline flung the sheet back, revealing her white hospital gown. “I need to see it.” She swung her legs down the side of the bed and stood up. Her entire body trembled and she clutched the bedrail to stay on her feet.

  Donovan stepped quickly around the bed, taking her into his arms. “You shouldn’t be moving around like this. You’re still weak. Let me see if the nurse has a hand mirror.”

  “I am a bit woozy.” She leaned into him, allowing him to support her weight. “But I’m sick of feeling like a freak without knowing what’s wrong. I don’t want to wait. Help me to the mirror.”

  Donovan knew she was frightened and probably a bit mad at him, but her body against his was the best feeling ever. The last three weeks had been hell. He held her tight, keeping his tears back through sheer determination. “I thought I might never have a chance to hold you again,” he said, kissing her cheek softly. “I was so afraid you’d die.”

  “It’s good to know that matters to you. When I left the jail I was so hurt. I wanted to hate you. And now this...” Her long lashes fluttered closed. “I’m still trying to figure everything out. It’s so confusing.”

  “I know it is.” Donovan took a deep breath. He didn’t blame her for questioning whether he truly cared about her. To her mind, it was only a few hours ago that he told her she was fat. She’d forgive him. She had to. He needed to give her more time though.

  Without another word, he helped her walk across to the small vanity on the left-hand side of the room.

  She turned and tightly gripped the edge of the counter to hold herself up, facing the towel her father put over the mirror. “Move that.”

  “Can I tell you something first?” he asked.

  She tilted her head to look at him, bringing the worst scar more into the light. Donovan tried not to stare at it, but he felt so damn guilty every time he looked at her. It was his fault Suzie attacked her—his fault Maddie would wear that scar the rest of her life.

  “I’m sorry about what I said.” He kissed her lips softly and she didn’t pull away, though she didn’t kiss him back either. “I was afraid you would put yourself in the poor house to get me out of jail, and I couldn’t let you do that.”

  Tears welled in her eyes and she shook her head softly. “That was my choice, Donovan. I wanted to help you.” A tear slipped over the edge, following the trail of her scar as it tracked down her face. “I do believe you didn’t mean it, but you promised not to hurt me. You broke that promise.”

  If she stabbed a knife through his heart, it might hurt less than seeing the pain he’d caused her. “I didn’t feel like I had a choice, Maddie. Can’t you see that?”

  She raised her eyebrows and widened her eyes. “So what, this is my fault?”

  “No! That’s not what I’m saying at all. I’m not any good at this stuff.”

  “I don’t know what to feel right now.” Madeline turned her head back toward the mirror. “Let’s get this over with.”

  He knew he couldn’t put this moment off any longer. He removed the towel.

  Madeline sucked in a sharp breath and her hands moved to her face, tracing the scars along each side. She lost her balance and fell into the counter around the sink, barely keeping her feet under her.

  Donovan stepped behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. Once he had her steady, Madeline’s fingers once again moved to her face to outline the scars.

  Her eyes met his in the mirror. “I remember,” she whispered. “She said you wouldn’t love me if I was ugly. I knocked her into the coffee table and the glass broke all over. She used that.” Madeline closed her eyes, leaning heavily against Donovan’s chest.

  “I’m so sorry, Madeline. I tried to get someone to help you in time. I prayed you wouldn’t let her in the house.”

  “I wanted to stay in bed. I wanted the world to leave me alone.” She looked into the mirror again and shook her head. “Suzie knew what she was doing. I am ugly now.” A sob ripped from her throat and her legs lost all strength.

  Donovan adjusted before she fell, sweeping her into his arms and carrying her back to the bed. He lay her down gently, crawling in next to her and taking her in his arms.

  “I’m sorry this happened to you, and I’m so sorry I hurt you.” He gripped her chin and forced her to look at him. “I told you this before, Maddie, and I meant it then and now. You are beautiful no matter what.”

  “That was when I was just fat, Donovan!” Her words were barely audible through her crying. “No wonder that little girl looked at me like I’m a monster. I am!”

  Donovan gripped her shoulders and shook her lightly. “Stop that right now. It’s not true.”

  She stared at him for a long time, wiping the tears from her face as her crying subsided. “I guess one good thing came from this.”


  “What’s that?” he asked.

  She snorted. “Apparently being on a feeding tube for three weeks is great.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “It’s the coma diet plan. I’ve lost those last pesky ten pounds.” She looked at him, not blinking. “Maybe my body will be as nice as hers now.”

  “Don't say things like that. You're body has always been perfect.” Donovan leaned in for a kiss, intending to reassure her, but Madeline turned her cheek to him. He kissed that instead, trying not to let his hurt show. She had every right to hurt him if she wanted to. He deserved it. “I never meant those words. You have to believe me, Maddie. You are the woman I want. Forget what I said at the jail. The truth was what I said in your apartment before that.”

  Madeline struggled to roll over, putting her back to him as she faced the wall. “I’m angry right now, and I don’t want to take it out on you,” she said softly. She stroked her hand across the scar on her cheek. “I need some time to take all this in. Please, just leave me alone.”

  Donovan squeezed her hand tightly and then climbed out of the bed. “You are the most important person in the world to me. I’ll wait however long it takes.”

  Her shoulders shook, and he knew she cried again. “Maybe you should do some thinking of your own,” she whispered. “I’m a freak now. Is my face really something you want to look at all the time?”

  “Yes. I don’t care about—”

  “No!” She rolled over and glared at him. Rage simmered just below the surface of her features. “You don’t get to hand me platitudes, Donovan. You are the man who dates every woman in the world. You really want me,” she gestured to her cheek, “with this?”

  Donovan nodded, though he didn’t open his mouth again. Madeline felt like she was no longer beautiful. He could understand that, even if it wasn’t true.

  “I’ll understand if you change your mind. Think things over.” She closed her eyes and shook her head. “But do it somewhere else.”

  He left the room without another word, respecting her wishes. He closed the door and leaned against the wall, sliding down to rest on the balls of his feet, hanging his head in his hands.

  Knowing that Suzie attacked Madeline’s face specifically because she thought it would change Donovan’s mind, he feared Maddie would never forgive him. She felt like a monster...and held him responsible.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Madeline rode in the back of her parents’ car a week later, heading to her apartment. The situation between her and Donovan hadn’t improved much, though he followed behind them. Between Madeline’s medical tests, light physical therapy, and a constant stream of visitors, they hadn’t found any time to be alone since she sent him away.

  Her face looked like an experiment from Doctor Frankenstein’s table. That was the reason for her continued anger, and she knew it wasn’t fair to take it out on Donovan. She had a hard time believing it didn’t bother him. It bothered the hell out of her.

  It was something she’d have to get used to. Insurance wouldn’t pay for cosmetic surgery, and she didn’t have that kind of money.

  She hoped the scars wouldn’t hurt her chances of getting the full-time teaching job at the grade school. The principal said he wanted to hire her when the new school year started. Hopefully that didn’t change now.

  Would the children be afraid of her? Then again, it might be a good lesson for them to see differences in appearance didn’t mean people were bad. She could teach them a lot with her new face.

  Her mom turned sideways in her chair to look at Madeline. “I’ve been wondering about something.”

  Madeline forced herself to smile and put thoughts of the teaching position in the back of her mind to ponder later. “What’s that?”

  “I don’t understand why you refused to ride with Donovan.”

  “Karen, leave it be,” her father said.

  She shook her head. “I can’t. I think Madeline needs to know what that man’s been through this past month. He’s a good guy.”

  Madeline turned to look out the back window at Donovan’s car, which followed closely behind them on the highway. He smiled and waved when he saw her looking. Madeline raised her hand briefly before turning around.

  “Okay, Mom. Tell me about it.”

  Her mom gripped the back of the seat to shift her body into better position. “First of all, he never left you longer than he had to unless it was to spend time with that nice man, Jeremy Rains. The poor boy hardly slept, always at your bedside, even when it wasn’t his turn to watch you.”

  Madeline snorted. “You do know that ‘poor boy’ is suspected of murder and is a womanizing jerk, right?” She could have slapped herself as the words left her mouth. She truly cared for Donovan and shouldn’t set him up for failure with her parents. She’d been grouchy since waking up from the coma. “I shouldn’t have said that.”

  “No. You shouldn’t have. It’s not fair to him.” Karen’s eyes tightened at the corners and she shook her head. “Donovan told us all about his past. Plus, worrying about those charges all month has been really hard on him. Everything’s at a standstill while they wait to question that woman who attacked you.”

  Madeline hated when her mom chastised her, especially when Karen was right. “I wasn’t thinking about the charges. He must be afraid. They talked about the death penalty.”

  “That’s not even been the worst part for him,” Keith said.

  “What could be worse than that?” Madeline asked.

  Keith’s eyes met Madeline’s in the rearview mirror. “He thought he was going to lose you.”

  “He told us he loves you.” Karen shrugged and rubbed Keith’s arm, a smile dancing across her face. “Your father and I really like him. He might be the one.”

  Madeline sighed and risked another glance over her shoulder. Donovan waved again, and this time she waved back with more enthusiasm. “I like him too,” she admitted, facing her mom. “And, for the record, he didn’t kill anyone.”

  Her mom waved that aside. “Of course he didn’t. On top of his devotion to you, he and Jeremy put in a lot of time and money to fix your apartment. They cleaned up the glass and floors, replaced your coffee table, and put new locks on the door.” She smiled and gave a happy sigh. “Isn’t that so sweet?”

  The guilt for shunning Donovan this past week bore down on Madeline a little harder. “That was nice of them.”

  “And,” her dad chimed in, “Donovan said you have a fully stocked shelf of tea now. He bought a lot of new things for the two of you to try.”

  “The two of us?” Madeline rubbed the scar on her cheek, wondering at that.

  Suzie had said Donovan’s main motivation was physical beauty, and she’d known Donovan longer than Madeline had. Madeline couldn’t help but worry she was right, and Donovan’s interest would fade now. He hadn’t yet told her his final decision about whether he wanted to stay with her.

  “He prefers coffee,” she said to her parents, instead of voicing her true concern.

  Her mom laughed. “Men change for the woman they love. Isn’t that right, honey?”

  Her dad joined in with her laughter. “We’re in trouble if we don’t.”

  ***

  They exited the elevator and approached the new door to her apartment. Madeline noted the two separate deadbolt locks.

  Donovan shifted the small bag of Madeline’s belongings to his left hand and reached into his pocket, pulling out a set of keys. “We got special permission from your landlord for two locks,” he said, handing her an unfamiliar keychain. “I also put in two new security latches.”

  Madeline raised an eyebrow. “That seems like a bit of overkill.” She took the keychain from his hand, noting a new miniature canister of pepper spray attached to it.

  Donovan shook his head. “I’m not taking any more chances with you. But you do have to stop letting people inside when you’re alone.”

  “I live alone.” She shrugged. “Do
es that mean I don’t ever get to have visitors again?”

  “Only if I’m with you.” Donovan stroked her chin with gentle fingers, staring deeply into her eyes.

  Madeline couldn’t help it—she shivered at his light touch. He seemed to be saying he did want to be with her, despite her face. She wondered how long it would be before her parents left to find a hotel. It was long overdue for her to spend some alone time with Donovan. They needed to work things out. And then she wanted to melt into his arms.

  Keith cleared his throat behind them. “Should we go inside?”

  Donovan dropped his hand from her face, blushing, and Madeline grinned at him before unlocking the door.

  She entered the apartment and walked down the small hallway, stepping into the living room.

  “Surprise!”

  Madeline jumped, looking around as her heart pounded. “You certainly did surprise me,” she said when her throat loosened enough to speak again.

  Brandon and Lindsey stood from the couch, turning to face her. Eric Sanders stood in the corner by the bay window, talking to Jeremy; all the people here who might count as her friends. A darker thought crossed Madeline’s mind as she looked at them. They were also people she and Donovan thought capable of murder. Well, except Jeremy.

  “Jeremy organized everything,” Lindsey said. “He thought it would be nice for us to get together.”

  “I brought Chinese food,” Brandon said. “I hope you like that.”

  At Madeline’s nod, he headed for the kitchen.

  Lindsey smiled brightly, her wrinkle-free face and blonde hair looking perfect as always. Madeline realized how easy it would be to hate pretty people now, if she allowed herself to become bitter.

  “I’m so happy to see all of you,” she said, returning Lindsey’s smile.

  Lindsey walked forward and slung her arm around Madeline’s shoulders. “You look fabulous, sweetie. No one will believe you spent a month in a coma. I’m so glad you’re back.” She led Madeline to the couch, pulling her down on the cushions. “I’m opening Woofy Cuts back up next week. Think you’ll be up to working?”

  Madeline was surprised the shop had been closed this long, but she nodded her agreement. “I’ll be ready for duty, boss.”