Promises

by Cathryn Hein

  Sophie watched Aaron as he finished fastening the bridle, then checked the tiny saddle and tightened its girth another notch. He was so much more interesting than her male competitors on the eventing circuit. The expense of the sport had led to a concentration of rich hobbyists, with slick looks to match their sleek mounts and equipment. Those who were off properties were married or had been around forever, and she knew far too much about them. Any appeal they may have once possessed had long faded, and with her days occupied on the farm tending cattle and horses, or maintaining the lush pastures, equipment and amenities, opportunities to meet other men were limited.

  Despite Aaron having been her neighbour all her life, Sophie didn’t know him very well. Her father and aunt’s indoctrination about those ‘rotten to the core’ Laidlaws and local whispers about the deep enmity between the two families, the cause of which people either refused to reveal or passed off with a weak excuse, had made her wary. She held vague childhood memories of Aaron and her mother chatting comfortably when they all met out on rides, but her family’s hostility toward the Laidlaws made her question if those memories were real. For years now Sophie and Aaron’s interactions had been pretty much limited to discussions about escaping cattle, but she had noticed how quickly his moods could alter. One minute he’d be teasing her good-naturedly and then she’d say something and he’d shut her out with terse answers and a wary expression. It always left her feeling vaguely hurt, as though he’d somehow found her wanting.

  ‘Are you right?’ he said, interrupting her thoughts.

  She nodded, letting her hand trail over Rowdy’s silky, soft coat as Aaron led him from the stall. He handed her the reins at the warm-up ring.

  ‘He’s nervous. Try to keep him calm,’ he said.

  Rowdy jogged beside her, champing on his bit and tossing his head. ‘Don’t worry, I know.’ She placed her hand on his neck, and felt the sweat already rising on his skin. The punters wouldn’t like that. Sweating up was considered a bad omen.

  She expected Aaron to walk away, but he stood watching her, his hands in his pockets.

  A little self-conscious under his gaze, she led a twitching, jog-trotting Rowdy onto the sandy track that was the extent of Harrington Racecourse’s warm-up area, and started on the first of many circuits.

  Eventually Rowdy calmed and resigned himself to being led round and round like a show pony. His ears twitched as he listened to Sophie talk about Vanaheim and eventing, and her other horses, Prince Charles and Bucephalus – or Chuck and Buck, as they were known in the yard.

  ‘You’ve done a good job,’ Aaron said, coming forward to take Rowdy’s reins. ‘He’s usually sweating like a pig by now.’

  They made their way to the mounting ring. Sophie walked at the other side of Rowdy’s head, her fingers digging into the horse’s mane. This was make or break time. For both of them.

  ‘He’s probably bored rigid. I’ve just told him my life story.’

  ‘I doubt it’s boring, Soph.’

  Sophie felt a jolt of surprise and pleasure. It was the first time Aaron had ever called her that. She normally loathed having her name shortened, but from him, it sounded good, like he just touched her with the warm hand of friendship. She looked at him over the top of Rowdy’s head, but he was staring expressionlessly straight ahead. ‘Do you think he’ll win?’

  ‘He’s got a chance. He romped home in his trials. Danny reckons he was just getting wound up when he crossed the line, but the track was good on those days.’ He looked up at the sky and frowned. ‘I don’t know in these conditions.’

  Suddenly, Sophie felt frightened. ‘I don’t care if he wins or loses, I just want him to get round safely.’

  ‘He’ll be fine. I told you, he’s a cunning bugger. Rogue Explorer knows how to get himself out of trouble.’ He stopped just inside the mounting ring and passed her the reins. ‘Here, you take him, but don’t let Danny give you any of his rubbish. He’s just trying to pull your chain.’

  As he spoke, nine brightly coloured, bow-legged jockeys walked out from their room, cracking jokes and sledging each other, each trying to gain a psychological advantage. They separated as owners and trainers took them aside to give them last-minute instructions. Rowdy started up his nervous jog-trot again.

  ‘The going’s absolute shite,’ said Danny, coming over to Sophie and pulling down the stirrups. ‘There’s bound to be a fall.’

  ‘It’s lucky you’re on such a clever horse then, isn’t it?’

  ‘Just goes to show your ignorance. If a runner turns over in front of you, even the cleverest horse won’t be able to save himself. That’s why the knackery buyers love jumps racing. There’s always plenty of horsemeat going cheap. Isn’t that right, Todd?’ he yelled to a passing jockey.

  Todd turned his prune-like face to Sophie and grinned evilly. ‘Knacker-fest,’ he said, winking at Danny.

  ‘Told you.’

  ‘Bugger off, Danny. You’re full of it.’ But fear uncoiled itself in Sophie’s stomach like a snake.

  ‘You’ve got your instructions, make sure you follow them.' It was Aaron, behind her. Sophie felt him touch her lightly on the back as he took Rowdy’s reins.

  ‘Ten grand would go a long way toward keeping you in a job,’ he said to Danny. ‘Don’t screw it up.’

  Danny touched his hand to his helmet. ‘Yes, boss.’ He stood beside Rowdy with his hands on the saddle and one leg cocked, waiting for a leg-up. Sophie obliged, wanting to lift him hard so he fell over the other side, but Danny was awake to her and sprang easily into the saddle, winking at her as he settled.

  ‘Keep him back until the four hundred,’ Aaron said.

  ‘Yeah, yeah. You told me.’

  ‘Don’t be an idiot. I mean it.’ He dropped his voice, but Sophie could still hear him. ‘You screw this up, and you’re out, you hear?’

  The smart expression slid from Danny’s face. ‘Yeah, I hear.’ He turned Rowdy toward the gate. The horse broke into a tight, bouncy canter, his nostrils flaring and blowing steam like a benign dragon.

  ‘Go safely, Rowdy,’ whispered Sophie as she watched him canter up the track toward the barrier, fighting for his head and trying to unseat Danny with an occasional pigroot. ‘Oh, God, I hope he’ll be all right.’

  Aaron squeezed her shoulder. ‘He’ll be fine.’

  They took up a place on the fence close to the finishing post. Aaron had a pair of binoculars slung around his neck. She wanted to snatch them from him so she could watch the race in close-up, but as owner and trainer, Aaron needed them more.

  As if reading her mind, he held them out to her.

  She shook her head. ‘Thanks, but I don’t know if I could bear to watch. You can tell me what’s happening.’

  ‘Right, they’re all at the barrier. Rowdy – I like that name by the way, it suits him – went in no worries, but number three’s playing up. Nope, he’s in now. There goes number six, Ballroomblitz, that’s the favourite. Danny needs to watch him. Todd Markham’s on board and he’s won a few jumps races in his time. Mind you, he’s been suspended a few times too. They’re all in. Light’s on.’

  Sophie held her breath, waiting for the words. Aaron’s came at the same time as the tannoy squawked into life. She jumped at the sudden noise.

  ‘They’re racing. Rowdy got away well. Steady, Danny, steady. Keep him in hand like I told you… Approaching the first … Over clean.’ He pulled the glasses away and smiled at her. ‘He’s in fourth. That’s good.’

  She nodded, feeling sick.

  ‘Okay, he’s clean over the second and he’s dropped back to fifth. That’s where I wanted him. It’ll give him a chance to settle into a rhythm.’

  Sophie was only half listening. She stared up at the leaden black cloud hovering over the course. A fat drop fell on her cheek. She swiped it away, but it was replaced with another. Within seconds, the pelting rain had drowned out the racecaller’s voice and cut visibility across the course to almost nothing.

  Aa
ron pulled the hood of his coat over his head, but didn’t move away from the rail. He glanced at Sophie. ‘Why don’t you go under the stand? There’s no need for both of us to get wet.’

  Sophie pulled up the hood of her own coat. ‘No way. I’m staying. That’s my horse out there.’

  ‘Not yet, he’s not.’ Aaron lifted the binoculars back to his face but then dropped them. ‘I can’t see a thing.’

  They squinted into the distance, trying to make out the field, but the rain was too heavy. They waited, shivering by the finish, water cascading off their coats and pooling at their feet. Snatches of the call came over the tannoy, but judging from its uncharacteristic vagueness, the racecaller’s high vantage point offered no respite from the downpour. Then, just as suddenly as it started, the rain stopped. They strained their ears in the silence, listening for the sound of the field until a pounding, like the slow rumble of thunder, broke the quiet.

  Bold Safari in the lead, followed by Ballroomblitz, then Zanic. Bringing up fourth is Favours the Brave a half head to Rogue Explorer. Coming up to the last jump before the straight …

  Sophie clapped her hands together and held them to her mouth as though she was praying. Rowdy was still safe.

  Aaron glanced at his watch. ‘They should be hitting the bend any second.’ As he spoke, glimpses of colour broke the gloom. The heads of mud-splattered horses and jockeys bobbed in unison as they galloped toward the line. Sophie felt a surge of hope. Rowdy would be all right.

  Ballroomblitz in the lead, a half-length to Bold Safari with Rogue Explorer only two lengths behind and making ground …

  ‘He’s in third,’ said Aaron, grabbing her arm and bending toward her. ‘He’ll win it now.’ He turned back to the field, now approaching the penultimate fence – a straightforward brush.

  Sophie was torn between wanting Rowdy to win for Aaron’s sake, and wanting him to run last for her own.

  Approaching the second last with five hundred to go and Ballroomblitz still in front with Bold Safari, a length and a half to Rogue Explorer, followed by Zanic who’s tiring fast …

  Ballroomblitz took off, but Sophie could see he had made the leap too early. Taking its cue from the leading horse, Bold Safari followed suit, while behind them, Rowdy gathered himself to do the same. As if in slow motion, Sophie watched Ballroomblitz hit the fence and fall forward with its neck outstretched. Its jockey stood in the stirrups trying desperately to keep the horse up, but even without the inevitable sharp crack of breaking bone, Sophie knew the fall was fatal.

  Bold Safari tried to swivel in the air to avoid a collision, but his early takeoff meant he hit the fence full on the chest. The horse tilted to one side, flinging the jockey out of the saddle and onto the sodden turf, before crashing to the ground.

  Rowdy instinctively shifted across, but he was too close and travelling too fast to avoid the carnage in front.

  ‘Sophie, don’t look!’

  There was panic in Aaron’s voice, but as much as she wanted to, Sophie couldn’t turn away. She watched in horror as Danny gave Rowdy a hard whack across the rump with his whip, as if that would give the horse wings to fly over the flailing animals below. Rowdy jumped, his muscles straining with the effort of leaping the danger in front.

  Rogue Explorer’s made the jump …

  For a blissful moment, as Rowdy hung gracefully in the air, Sophie thought he had made it, but as Rowdy’s legs stretched toward the ground, she saw the prone jockey and her heart lurched.

  Rowdy saw him too. Like a cat, he twisted his body to the side, shifting his legs so that they hit the turf centimetres from the jockey’s head. But as his full weight came forward, his legs collapsed underneath him and he slammed into the ground, catapulting Danny out of the saddle.

  Horse and rider lay still on the mud-soaked track.

  Through the appalling silence, the only thing Sophie could hear was the sound of her own choked sobs.

  Two

  Over the tannoy came the call for the course veterinarian. From the stands rumbled the slow murmur of shocked spectators, and the sound of tearing betting slips and crumpling paper. The punters turned away, washing their hands of the human and animal cost of their wagers, while old timers tsk-tsked and shook their heads at the waste of it all.

  Sophie buried her face into the comforting bulk of Aaron’s chest. She couldn’t remember him grabbing her, but she was grateful for it all the same.

  ‘I’m sorry, Soph,’ he said.

  She let out a shuddery sigh as she pulled away from him. ‘Me too.’

  The fall seemed like it had happened in a dream. She needed to see if it was true. Aaron tried to shield her, but she brushed past him, grabbed at the fence rail and leaned over it, her knuckles as white as the flaking paint. He touched her shoulder and then backed off.

  Ballroomblitz lay motionless on the track. As Sophie watched, his jockey staggered to his feet, reaching out his hands as though seeking purchase in the heavy air, then reeling and collapsing onto his knees. Bold Safari was up, but stood quivering on three legs, his head lowered and his sides heaving. Sophie felt her stomach turn over at the sight. She put a hand to her mouth, but the spasm passed, although revulsion kept a tight hold of her insides. At the agonised horse’s feet, the jockey remained motionless, his left leg bent at a sickeningly unnatural angle. Blood smeared his face as though he’d been draped in a scarlet shroud. Sophie looked for Danny. His blue and gold mud-splattered silks caught and flapped in the wind, but Danny didn’t move.

  Sophie’s breath caught when she saw Rowdy. She stared at him, praying, hoping he’d feel the force of her will and lift his head. Never fall in love with a racehorse. That was the golden rule, and now she was paying the price. She stared at the sodden ground and let tears chill and numb her already frigid cheeks.

  ‘I hate this stupid sport,’ she said quietly.

  ‘Sophie.’ Urgency coloured Aaron’s voice. She looked up. Despite everything, he was smiling at her. He pointed at the track.

  Rowdy was sitting up, his forelegs stretched out sphinx-like in front of him. With a final heave, he stood upright and shook himself like a labrador after a swim. He turned his head from side to side, surveying the scene, then cantered off down the straight, squealing and pigrooting, swerving around the clerk of the course’s grey gelding to avoid capture.

  ‘Oh my God.’ Sophie grabbed Aaron’s arm, jumping up and down on the spot in excitement and grinning idiotically. ‘He’s okay! He’s okay!’

  ‘Yeah,’ said Aaron, smiling at her. ‘I told you he knew how to get himself out of trouble.’ He turned back to the track and frowned. Sophie followed his gaze. Paramedics were leaning over Danny. It looked serious.

  ‘Come on,’ said Aaron. ‘You go and sort out Rowdy. I’ll see if there’s anything I can do for Danny.’

  Sophie nodded and jogged off to the mounting ring. The red-faced clerk had caught Rowdy and was leading the still whinnying animal back along the track. His placid grey calmly trotted alongside as though he’d seen it all before and didn’t know what the fuss was about.

  ‘Noisy bugger, isnt he?’ the clerk said as he handed Rowdy over to Sophie.

  ‘Yeah. He never shuts up, but at least you know he’s alive.’

  ‘Which is more than can be said for those two,’ said the clerk, staring down the straight. A portable sightscreen was being erected in front of the horses. He looked back at Rowdy. ‘I’d get him checked over if I were you. He took a pretty big tumble.’

  ‘Don’t worry, I will.’ Rowdy let out one last high-pitched whinny as the clerk rode away before turning to Sophie, pressing his head against her chest and using her as a scratching post.

  ‘If you don’t mind,’ said Sophie when his bridle caught on her breasts, but she didn’t have the heart to stop him. She was too pleased to see him alive and in one piece. When he’d finished, she gave him a quick inspection, running her hands down his legs and checking to see if he flinched. Rowdy didn’t move.

&nb
sp; ‘Come on, then, miracle man. Let’s get you undressed and sorted.’

  Rowdy was rubbed down and rugged up by the time Aaron arrived, and alternating between blowing hot air on Sophie’s face and trying to nip the horse in the stall next to him.

  ‘How is he?’ Without waiting for a reply, Aaron ducked under the stall chain and started running his hands over Rowdy’s legs.

  ‘He seems fine. I can’t find anything wrong, but I suspect he’ll be a bit stiff tomorrow. How’s Danny?’

  ‘Not good, but at least he’s conscious. They’re taking him to hospital now. Suspected punctured lung. Bold Safari’s just been destroyed. Snapped cannon bone.’

  Sophie shivered. That could have been Rowdy’s fate. She reached out to stroke his nose. ‘So what now?’

  Aaron bent back under the chain and stood next to her, surveying Rowdy. ‘You can go home, I guess.’

  ‘But what about your horses? You won’t be able to look after them on your own.’

  ‘Sophie, I’ve been doing this a long time. I’m pretty sure I can manage. Anyway, don’t you have an event tomorrow?’

  ‘It’s just a pony club one-day event, and I’m only taking Buck. I can stay and help.’

  He looked at her with raised eyebrows. ‘Aren’t you a bit old for pony club?’

  Sophie experienced a prickle of embarrassment. At twenty-two, she felt too old for pony club, especially on the rare occasions she arrived at a rally and ended up knee-deep in fat woolly ponies. But her membership gave her extra events to compete in, plus occasional access to some of the country’s best instructors and riders, and she wasn’t about to give it up.

  ‘I can stay a member until I’m twenty-five,’ she said.

  ‘Really? I didn’t know. I never got the chance to go to pony club. I always wanted to though.’

  Sophie looked at him curiously. She’d never suspected he’d be interested. ‘So why didn’t you?’

  His features turned wary, as though she had stepped over an invisible line. She felt the sting of hurt that always affected her when he looked that way. She bit her lip, and wished she’d learn to keep her mouth shut.