Danger In The Shadows

by Dee Henderson

  The sound of horses behind them interrupted the conversation.

  “It looks like you two are not getting very far very fast,” Dave commented.

  Sara blushed as she pulled her hand free. “We were just waiting for you two.”

  “I could see that.” Dave nudged his horse into the lead, Linda beside him.

  Sara didn’t say anything as they rode the rest of the way to the river, and Adam didn’t try to pull her from her thoughts.

  She was right. He wanted to be much more than friends.

  Adam eased his horse around a fallen tree.

  He could choose not to renew the commercial contracts. It wasn’t the first time he had considered making that decision. But he was not naive enough to believe it would change the equation much. The last fifteen years of his public life existed. That was the bottom line, and that was the threat to Sara. It would take years for his name and face to fade from public knowledge.

  The sound of the water reached them before the river became visible. Sara shifted in her seat, nudging Ruby ahead. Adam saw the change in her posture and expression, and when he rounded the bend in the trail he understood why. The sight was gorgeous. Flowers of all varieties grew naturally along the banks of the pool, and water came flowing over the top of the beaver dam back into the riverbed proper. At this time of year, the sparkling water had to be less than two feet deep.

  Dave halted his horse beside Sara and leaned over to say something. She looked at him, startled, glanced at Linda, then nodded her agreement.

  Adam watched Linda and Dave move downstream. “Want to cross and pick a bouquet?” Sara asked, drawing his attention back to her.

  “Where are they going?”

  “There are some natural caves down the river a ways that Linda asked to see.”

  Caves. Dark. Not her favorite subject. Adam avoided it.

  They picked their way across the stream.

  “I never did tell you how much I enjoyed those basketball game tickets.”

  She laughed. “Who did you take?”

  “Jordan. I can’t afford to have my lawyer and brother-in-law on my bad side.”

  Sara dismounted with a graceful move. Adam watched her look around at the flowers and choose just a few. She was selecting the colors and styles that fit both the beauty of the creation around them and her own preference for brilliant colors.

  Adam slipped from his horse and moved to lean against one of the large outcrops of rocks on the riverbank.

  She joined him after collecting her bouquet, and he offered a handkerchief to use as a tie around the base of the stems.

  “Aren’t they beautiful?”

  “Very. Sara, why do flowers mean so much to you? They touch your office, your studio, your home.”

  “I need the reminder that God loves to make detailed and beautiful things, and that act of creation is itself a sufficient reason to make them. These flowers will live and die here, the majority of them never seen, even though a busy road is less than a mile away.”

  Adam gently touched her hair, stroking it behind her ear. He could add his own reason. Sara used flowers to counter the pain her world had dealt her. At times her past must feel like a prison, but a prison didn’t have flowers.

  He could pretend she was who he wanted her to be, or he could start learning to honestly accept who she really was. A woman who was petrified of the dark, threatened by an unfinished past, who struggled to cope with the limitations imposed upon her, who struggled to live life despite the constant fear.

  “Would you like to collect a second bouquet to take to your office?” Adam asked, watching her face as she looked down and touched the bouquet in her hands.

  “I don’t think so.”

  “Sara.”

  She looked up at him.

  “You don’t have anything to worry about, you know. I like you. There is nothing about your past that will ever change that.”

  “There’s a lot I haven’t told you.”

  “I imagine there is.” He watched her eyes go black, reflecting her distress. “It won’t change anything.”

  “It will. It always does.”

  “Try me.”

  Suddenly there were tears in her eyes, and she turned away to reach for the bridle of her horse.

  “Sara, I’m sorry.”

  She shrugged away his hand as she brushed away the tears. “Let’s go back, Adam.”

  “Dave and Linda?”

  “He’ll know.”

  Adam moved back to his mount, feeling miserable for ruining what was a beautiful day.

  The climb up the embankment was not nearly as difficult for the horses as coming down. Sara led the way and Adam followed her in silence.

  Okay, God, I blew it royally. I’m asking for help. I don’t want Sara to end the day feeling miserable. If it will help her talk about the memories, then let’s talk. If she needs the opposite, help me also to understand that.

  They moved up the trail back toward the meadow. Sara pulled to a stop.

  “What is it?”

  She slipped off her horse. “I think Ruby picked up a stone.”

  In the narrow trail, Adam could do little but watch as she lifted the left foreleg of her horse and confirmed her suspicion. “Sorry, Adam. I can’t dislodge it. It looks like we’re walking back.”

  Adam slipped off Cobalt. “How serious is it?”

  “Not very, but to dislodge the stone I need a couple tools I don’t have.” Sara patted Ruby’s neck and got a nudge back from her muzzle.

  Adam knew that kind of mutual affection with a horse was not born overnight. Sara obviously spent a lot of time here, in a place she felt safe, a place where she could find some freedom in a carefree ride.

  She slipped the reins forward and led her horse up the trail. Adam followed. In less than two minutes they stepped from the trail into the open meadow.

  Feeling a great deal of uncertainty, Adam reached over and took Sara’s hand. She squeezed it. They walked in the sunshine, sharing the warmth. “Would you be willing to tell me why you fear the dark?”

  She sighed. “It’s the only thing that makes the past suddenly feel like the present. My mind reverts back in time. I’m suddenly six again, in a pitch-black place, and so petrified I can’t breathe. Part of that terror was real; the gag really was choking me. Despite all the therapy and the counseling and, for a brief time, medication, the fear has only been managed not cured.”

  “Do you think it will ever be overcome?”

  “No. I have a feeling I will carry it to my death. God has given me the courage to face it, but He has not taken it away. I’ve accepted that.”

  Adam thought about that answer for some time. “I’ll pray for you, Sara. God may still take away the fear.” He was thinking about the verse that said perfect love casts out fear but didn’t want to say it, for the words would sound like a simplistic answer. He knew she was well beyond the simplistic side of who God was and what He would do. She seemed to understand his words were a genuine desire to help, for she accepted them as such with a soft thank-you.

  Adam liked walking with Sara. Her hand was warm in his and she had relaxed her pace. The horses occasionally nuzzled her shoulder, and she reached back to affectionately rub a muzzle.

  “What are you afraid of, Adam?”

  He had to grin. “Nothing like getting a tough question in return. When I was playing professional football, it would have been an easy answer—it was the guy rushing at me ready to knock me to the ground and give me a concussion in the process. Now,” he thought for a moment, “I guess I would say making a bad decision I couldn’t reverse.”

  Sara smiled. “Tactical answer. It could apply to anything. Quit being evasive.”

  “Making my sister mad.”

  Sara laughed, so his honesty had been worth it.

  Adam rubbed his thumb across the back of her hand. “Can I pry a little more?”

  “As long as you accept the fact I might not answer.”


  Adam took a deep breath. “Why didn’t you speak for so many years after the kidnapping?”

  She was not going to answer. Adam released her hand and draped his arm around her shoulders, intending to offer a reassuring hold, only to find her literally shuddering. He stopped and pulled her close, pressing her head against his shoulder, holding her tight. “You don’t have to answer, Sara.”

  She pulled away. “I was too afraid to speak. The second kidnapper threatened to kill me if I whispered even one word once I was found. I believed him.”

  “Was it Frank who finally helped you speak again?”

  She tried to smile but it didn’t reach her eyes. “Yes. He was the only one who wasn’t constantly trying to coax me to speak. Except for Dave. He never pushed either; Dave just held my hand. I was seven when I first met Frank, bone skinny and spooked by people’s movements. The ranch was large and he was a hard-working, hands-on, quiet man.

  “For days and weeks on end, he would take me with him as he moved cattle, fixed fences, and rounded up horses. He seemed to understand that I felt safer in the wide-open spaces where you could see for miles. About eight months after we moved to the ranch, I asked if I could go out to see a newborn foal. They were the first words I had spoken since the kidnapping.”

  Adam didn’t know what to say. “Thank you for telling me.”

  Sara looked away as she nodded.

  They were halfway across the meadow. Adam didn’t want the walk to end anytime soon. He debated whether he dared risk another question while they walked together in silence.

  The sound of riders approaching had them both turning. Dave and Linda rode up to join them.

  “Problems?” Dave asked, already scanning the area.

  “Ruby picked up a rock I can’t dislodge.”

  “Want to double up? We can ride back at a slow pace and lead Ruby.”

  “Thanks, but we don’t mind the walk.” Adam didn’t move his arm from around Sara’s shoulders. He met Dave’s assessing look that moved from Sara back to him.

  Dave gave his horse a gentle nudge. “Then we’ll see you at the stable.”

  “You do realize the speculation you’ve just raised.” Sara sounded slightly piqued.

  “Of course.” He had been frank with Dave the day after dinner with Sara. He went down to the FBI office and told Dave flat out that he intended to get to know Sara better. Dave listened without saying much, then finally commented, “I suggest you wait a few weeks.”

  Adam thought he was being warned off until he looked at Dave and saw, instead of the protection of a brother and an FBI agent, the man who knew Sara better than anyone in the world. “Two weeks,” Adam had agreed.

  Dave gave him a half smile. “She’s going to say no.”

  “Not if you arrange it.”

  Adam looked at Sara now, trying to decide if she was offended or not.

  “I will say this for you, Adam Black, you are an ambitious man.”

  He laughed and gently squeezed her shoulder. “Good. So allow me to be extremely ambitious with a request.”

  “What?”

  “Come to my place for coffee and a movie after we leave here. I’ll even let you pick out the video from my collection.”

  “I don’t know…”

  “Ask Dave. If he’s agreeable, then come.”

  She thought about it. “I’ll ask him.”

  “Thank you.” If the next several hours went smoothly, he might finally have this friendship on a firmer ground. If they didn’t find that stability soon, he risked losing her for good.

  CHAPTER 7

  Sara struggled with her wardrobe, trying to find a combination that was elegant and informal at the same time. She had enough practice that she knew how to pull it off. But not for a date. It changed the equation completely.

  Dave was due back soon. He had dropped Linda off first, Sara second, then left to take Adam home and have a look at the security in his building.

  I can’t believe I said yes to a real date….

  She finally settled on a comfortable mix of clothes—a ruby red, baby-soft sweater, jeans to keep it informal, a thin fourteen-carat gold necklace and earrings. Around one wrist, she placed her wide-band watch, around the other, a white wristband.

  “Sara, are you ready to go?”

  Dave was back already? Sara hurriedly sprayed some of her favorite perfume. “I’m ready.”

  Dave was in the dining room. “I’ve got new batteries for your cellular phone. How much cash are you carrying?” He tucked his second gun out of sight behind his back.

  Sara replaced the batteries in her phone. She placed a call to their own home to confirm it was working, then checked her cash. “Eighty dollars.”

  “Put forty in your pocket, the rest in your purse.”

  There was a map on the table. “Here’s the building where Adam lives. The security is good inside. His condo is on the third floor. There are two main elevators, a freight elevator, and stairway exits here, here, and here if you need them. If we get separated, there’s a department store at the corner of Lemont and Harris where it should be easy to get lost in the crowd. The police station is here.”

  Sara memorized what she was seeing. “The police station phone number?” As Dave told her the numbers, Sara punched them into her phone as the ninth speed dial number. “Got it.”

  Dave rubbed her tense shoulders. “Relax, Sara. This is routine; you do it every time for every new place.”

  “I can’t help feeling like I’m going to be under a microscope. Where will you be?”

  “I’ll make sure you are comfortable in Adam’s place, then disappear. There is a central security room that monitors the lobby, the elevators, all the halls, and the fire exits. Their camera security is quite good. I’ll be there for the rest of the evening. Ben has offered to be an extra presence in the building lobby.”

  “It has to be two people?”

  “Even at home there are at least two people. Don’t worry about it. It’s part of the job. Besides, Ben offered to swap me the time for Thursday afternoon so he could see the White Sox game.”

  “Buy the tickets for him.”

  “I already have.” Dave smiled. “I would be outside the apartment door and put Ben in the security room, but having met Adam’s husky, I think you’ll have pretty good security between that dog and Adam.”

  “What’s the dog’s name?”

  “King Henry. Henry for short. The dog must weigh seventy pounds at least. It nearly knocked me over saying hello.”

  The car ride to Adam’s home was made in silence.

  How much did she risk telling Adam? Did she keep the evening totally casual and entirely avoid the subject of her past, or did she tell him more of it? She hadn’t told him about Kim or about the H. Q. Victor books. Or about the ranch. So many untold facts were piling up.

  She had been a coward not to tell him about Kim. He had to know. About how Kim died. About how the second kidnapper came back after her death. Adam had to understand her past and what that experience had done to her inside.

  What if he walked away once he knew? He might. They weren’t pleasant memories to deal with. They still came all too often to the surface.

  What should I say?

  Dave pulled up to the condominium complex, and her time to decide was over.

  Adam opened the door to meet them. His husky pushed around him, eager to greet the company.

  “Henry, behave yourself.”

  Sara laughed and took hold of the massive paws that were resting on her chest. A gentle nudge convinced the dog not to stand nose to nose with her. The husky was a beautiful animal. Sara relished the affection as the animal leaned against her.

  The condo smelled of freshly brewed coffee. On the dining room table was a cheesecake that Adam managed to have delivered from somewhere for dessert.

  “Thanks for coming.”

  She was trying not to blush at his appraisal. “It’s my pleasure.”

  “Please,
come on in, have a seat.” Adam gestured toward the living room.

  It was obvious why companies kept coming back to him year after year for commercial endorsements. He had changed into jeans and a black shirt. It was hard to look away.

  His condo was not what she had expected. It was spacious and well decorated. Rather than highlight his career in football, it showcased his attachment to family and friends in pictures and sketches done by very young artists.

  “Can I show you around?”

  Sara realized to her relief that he was nervous as well. “Please.”

  If the newspapers, magazines, and stacked biographies were any indication, Adam spent most of his time relaxing in his den. His packed bookshelves were impressive. She would have liked to linger.

  She saw her H. Q. Victor books on the bottom shelf, easy to spot, for the hardback covers were black, each with one single word written in blood red on the spine. Shawn. Tara. Benjamin. Scott. Jennifer.

  Sara glanced at Adam who now rested his hand at the small of her back, guiding her. Would he understand if he knew that the author who wrote such award-winning children’s books and the author who wrote such international bestsellers about murdered children were one and the same? They were two different parts of who she was: one a grownup expression of the innocence and talent of who she was before the kidnapping, the other an expression of the anger and rage of who she was after the kidnapping.

  They were both her. She had learned how to let the two sides of her personality coexist, accepting each, denying neither. But could Adam? Could he understand that at thirty-one, each reflected the totality of who she really was?

  It had taken two decades for God to help ease her pain and anger and grief into a safe expression. When she wrote she could step back from the tragedy that was her life. She could look at it, taste it, feel it. It was something that could be examined and analyzed. The past no longer made her bleed, even if it still bound her freedom.