by E. L. Todd
When I came home, he was in the kitchen—by chance. He made a sandwich at the counter with a shadow on his face that was turning into a beard. Things had been tense with us since our last conversation, but it was getting better as time passed. I was angry at him for asking to go after Pepper, but I couldn’t be that angry when he asked me first. He didn’t go behind my back and do it anyway like a sleazebag. I had to give him credit for that. “I got my old apartment back.”
He twisted off the cap of his beer and took a drink. “When do you leave?”
“Next week.”
He picked up his sandwich and took a bite.
“Everything alright?” If he was still mad at me about Pepper, he was being dramatic. I was the one who had the right to be angry, but I’d already dropped it. He didn’t have an excuse.
“Yeah.” He kept eating, ignoring me.
“It seems like you’re avoiding me.”
“I don’t avoid anyone.” He set his sandwich down and looked at me.
“You’re in your room a lot…”
“I just want to be alone right now. It’s my house. I can do whatever the fuck I want.” Anger was the undertone to every single word he uttered. His eyes were full of emptiness, and his gaze was full of bitterness.
“I’ve never seen you not shave before.”
“How about you stop worrying about my hygiene and worry about yours?” He only ate half the sandwich before he threw the rest away. He snatched the beer off the counter and began the walk to his bedroom.
I didn’t understand Finn’s venom, and maybe I never would. “We’re going out tonight to celebrate if you want to come.”
He stopped in his tracks then turned back to me. “To celebrate what?”
“Getting my old apartment back. You want to come?”
“Why would you even want me to come?” he asked, his eyes narrowed.
“I don’t hate you, Finn. You’re my brother…you’ll always be my brother. I was mad about Pepper in the beginning, but we talked about it and moved on. I’m prepared to drop it if you are.”
He drank his beer then looked at the ground.
“We’re meeting at eight if you want to join us.” I didn’t waste any more time on him. I headed to the kitchen to make something to eat. Instead of waiting for scraps, Soldier stayed at Finn’s side.
Finn looked at me for another moment before he turned up the stairs.
I watched him go, understanding my brother even less than when he first came to live with me.
“Wow, you look great.” I looked Pepper up and down when she walked inside.
“Super-hot,” Zach said. “If I didn’t have a lady, I would be buying you a drink.”
“Thanks,” Pepper said. “You guys are sweet.”
“We aren’t sweet,” I argued. “We’re being serious.”
She smiled then walked to the bar to get a drink.
Finn returned from the bathroom, his jaw clean because he’d shaved before he left the house. He’d styled his hair and put on a shirt that wasn’t wrinkly. The second he joined us, he reached for his scotch like it was a crutch.
“You should see how hot Pepper looks when she comes back,” Zach said to my brother. “She’s wearing this teal dress—”
“Zach.” I shut up him just using his name, not wanting to make things awkward with Finn.
Finn wore the same stoic expression, like those words meant nothing to him.
Pepper returned a moment later, her short dress making her green eyes stand out. Her hair was done, and she’d applied her makeup in a slightly different way. She approached the standing table then looked at Finn.
He looked back at her.
She opened her mouth to say something, but nothing came out.
Finn led the conversation. “The guys were just telling me how beautiful you looked. They were right.” He took a long drink of his glass until it was empty. “Excuse me, I need another drink.” He left the table and headed to the bar.
Pepper watched him go before she turned back to us, her skin noticeably pale. The smile she’d been wearing a moment ago disappeared, and when she looked sad, she wasn’t nearly as pretty. She looked down at her vodka cranberry, her mind traveling to a faraway place.
“When are the girls getting here?” I asked Zach.
“Stella had a late class,” he explained. “And I think Tatum had a date.”
Pepper kept her wide eyes focused on her glass, not even blinking.
“Pepper?”
Her eyes flicked up to mine. “Yeah?”
“Are you alright?” I asked. “You seem…distracted.”
She cleared her throat. “Just thinking about work…you know. There’s so much stuff I forgot to do at the shop today.”
“I’m so glad I don’t own a business,” Zach said. “Too much work and stress.”
“Yeah, it can be hectic,” she said quietly.
Zach looked at the bar then nudged me in the side. “Guess who Finn’s talking to.”
My eyes landed on Layla, the tattooed doctor he worked with in the ER. The beautiful woman stole everyone’s attention because she was sexy and exotic, having all those colorful tattoos everywhere. “Yeah, you’re right.”
Pepper didn’t turn around to look.
“If I didn’t have a lady…” Zach shook his head and took a drink.
“Yeah, right,” I said. “You wouldn’t hit on her in a million years.”
“Hell yes, I would,” Zach said. “I’m a good-looking guy.”
“But you’re intimidated by her,” I argued. “You’re telling me you would waste your time with her when she’s squeezing Finn’s bicep like that?”
Pepper took a long drink.
“I would try.” Zach kept watching her. “What’s the worst thing that could happen? She says no?”
“She will say no.” I watched her get close to Finn, sharing a few laughs with him while they drank at the bar.
“You don’t think I’m hot or what?” Zach rounded on me, genuinely offended.
“What?” I asked, disgusted by the question. “Of course I don’t.”
“What’s wrong with me? You don’t think I’m sexy?”
“Do you want me to think you’re sexy?” I asked incredulously.
“Well, I don’t want you to think I’m ugly.” Zach forgot about Layla and just focused on me.
Pepper kept drinking.
“I don’t think you’re sexy,” I said. “But I don’t think you’re ugly either. Alright?”
Zach still looked disappointed. “I guess I’ll take it…”
I watched Finn pay for their drinks, and then they walked out together. His arm circled her waist, and he escorted through the bar and out the main door. “Looks like you missed your chance. Finn’s taking her home tonight.”
Zach shook his head. “Lucky bastard.”
Pepper turned her head and watched them go, her eyes wide with terror. Her fingers loosened on her glass, and her skin turned the color of milk. When they were gone, her eyes fell down once more.
Pepper had been weird all week, and now I wondered if her mood had anything to do with Finn. “Pepper? You alright?”
She didn’t seem to hear me. “Excuse me, I need to use the restroom…” She left the table abruptly and walked away.
“What’s that about?” Zach asked. “For one, the bathroom is way over there…”
I turned around and watched her go, seeing her step out the front doors and directly into the pouring rain. All this time, I thought I saw something between Pepper and Finn, but I was sure it was just paranoia. But now, I saw her storm outside like she had nowhere else to run, like seeing Finn with Layla hurt her so deeply she didn’t know what else to do.
How had I not seen it before? “I’ll be back.”
“Where are you going?”
I left Zach’s side and jogged through the bar to catch up with Pepper. I pushed through the doors and made it outside, getting hit with hard drops of rain ri
ght away. My eyes scanned the sidewalk and found her walking in her heels, the dress already soaked and revealing the contours of her flesh underneath.
I jogged to her side and stripped off my jacket. “Pepper.”
She stopped in her tracks and turned to me, her makeup smeared from her tears, not the rain. Her mascara ran in rivers down her cheeks and to the corners of her mouth. With eyes red and puffy, she looked like she’d been sobbing rather shedding a few tears.
I pulled my jacket around her and zipped up the front, not wanting the world to see her wet tits in the thin material. “Pepper, talk to me.” Now my clothes were soaking wet, but the cold didn’t distract me. The agony on her face was like a thousand knives in my stomach. It was just like the night we signed our divorce papers, when she sobbed for the end of our marriage. I was being transported back in time.
She wiped the smeared mascara away, but more tears just kept coming. “I’m in love with Finn.” The water fell hard on the sidewalk around us, making a loud cacophony of sound that diminished the sound of her voice. But her words still made it to my ears perfectly. “I’m so stupidly in love with him, and it fucking hurts. You’re the person I tell everything to, and it’s been killing me to keep this to myself. But now I’m at rock bottom, and I just don’t care anymore…” She crossed her arms over her chest, clearly cold but unwilling to get out of the rain.
My ex-wife just told me she was in love with my brother, and I could barely process that reality. When she dated Jax, all she wanted to do was keep him at a distance. But now she said she’d fallen in love with someone… It was so unexpected. It took me a minute to accept what she said. “How? How is that possible?” They’d spent some time together, but not enough to warrant such strong feelings. How could Pepper fall in love with my brother? A man whose last name she shared?
“I don’t know.” She kept talking through her sobs. “I don’t even know when it happened. It just hit me when he left. We’ve been seeing each other for the last few months, and instead of it just being a fling, it turned into something more…at least for me.”
I felt like she’d punched me in the stomach.
When she realized what she’d admitted, she looked apologetic. “I’m sorry, Colton. I didn’t mean for you to find out like this. I never meant to tell you. But you’re my best friend, and I need you right now. I’m heartbroken, and I don’t know what to do. Watching him walk out with Layla nearly killed me…”
The sting of their betrayal hurt my heart. Now I felt stupid for not noticing sooner, for being naïve around both of them. I always thought I detected the chemistry, but I stupidly believed they would never fool around behind my back. But my anger didn’t seem important when I looked at Pepper in that moment, seeing the heartbreak streaking down her cheeks. She was standing in the pouring rain, more distressed than I’d ever seen her in my life.
My feelings didn’t matter.
She stared at me as she waited for a reaction, wiping her fingers underneath her eyes even though more rain hit her skin.
“It’s okay.”
She took a deep breath, and her eyes softened.
My arms circled her waist, and I held her close to me, letting her cry against my shoulder.
She squeezed me hard and released a shaking breath, clinging to me like that was exactly what she needed.
I was the reason Finn left with Layla that night. I was the reason Pepper was sobbing her heart out. I was the reason they weren’t together—and I couldn’t let that happen. I was hurt by the betrayal and I was uncomfortable by the relationship, but I wouldn’t stand in their way. If this was what Pepper wanted, the woman I loved, then she could have it. “Then be with him.”
She pulled away. “I can’t. He ended things last week.”
“Did he say why?” It was obvious that Pepper had no idea Finn and I had talked about this. If she did, she would have confronted me sooner.
She sniffed. “Just said he didn’t see it going anywhere…”
He did see it going somewhere. He said he wouldn’t have asked for my permission unless he did. I was the obstacle standing in their way, the only thing keeping them apart. And Finn took the fall…to protect me.
After I dropped off Pepper at her apartment and put her to bed, I returned home.
I hoped Finn was there—and not in bed with Layla.
I was greeted by Soldier when I walked inside, but I ignored him and headed into the kitchen.
Finn was there, drinking a glass of water at the counter with a bottle of Aleve beside him.
“Is Layla here?” I blurted, afraid she was upstairs and naked in his bed.
“No.” He took another drink before setting the glass on the counter. “I told you I don’t fuck colleagues.”
“But you left with her.”
“She was drunk and needed a ride home.” He gripped the edge of the counter and sighed.
Now I understood his behavior for the last week. He’d been moping around the house because he broke up with Pepper and let her believe he didn’t want her anymore. He stopped shaving, stopped working out, and barely left the house unless it was for work. “You should tell Pepper that, because she assumed the worst.”
His gaze shifted to my face.
I stepped closer to the counter. “She was upset when you left with Layla. I comforted her, and she told me everything.”
He was still, holding his breath as he waited for my reaction.
“I’m not going to stand in the way if you want to be together. I want Pepper to be happy, and if you’re the thing that makes her happy…my feelings shouldn’t matter. I still think it’s a terrible idea, but do what you want.”
He straightened and dropped his hands from the counter. “Really?”
I nodded. “I love her more than anything in this world. It kills me to watch her cry.”
He closed his eyes for a moment, as if that revelation hurt him.
“If you make her happy, keep making her happy.”
He crossed his arms over his chest and breathed a sigh of relief. “I’m glad to hear you say that. I’ve been miserable without her.”
“She’s been miserable without you.”
“Well…thank you.”
I nodded.
“Are we okay, then?” he asked, gesturing between us. “Can we put this behind us?”
I wouldn’t let my feelings get in the way of their relationship, but I couldn’t pretend the betrayal didn’t make me bleed to death. “You have my permission to be with her. But no, we aren’t okay.”
His eyes fell in sadness.
“I was mad when you asked for my permission to date her, but I got over it in a couple of days. It wasn’t that big of a deal. But knowing you’ve been sneaking around behind my back and screwing my ex-wife…” I shook my head. “I can’t forgive you for that.”
He bowed his head.
“You lied when you asked for my permission. You don’t need permission if you’re already fucking.”
“Colton—”
“Any other woman on the planet would have been fine, but you went after the woman I love, the woman I was married to, my best friend. She was the one person on this planet who was off-limits, but you did it anyway. I thought I saw the signs there was something going on between you two, but I always brushed it off because I knew you wouldn’t betray me like that. We’re brothers. But I was wrong…you made me into a fool.”
“That’s not how it was—”
“I’m moving in with Zach tomorrow. I’ll stay there until my apartment opens up.”
“Colton—”
“You made your decision.” I turned away. “Now I’ve made mine.”
Also by E. L. Todd
Against all odds, Finn and I have managed to be together.
Colton continues to warn me, says that Finn will never change.
But he already has.
I don't know what the future holds...but I think Finn fits in somewhere.
Order Now
/>