The Weight of Perfection: Grand Harbor - Book Three

by Randileigh Kennedy

  “So you’re expecting me to keep this from him?”

  “Yes.” He stared back at me, his hazel eyes begging me to agree.

  “I’m not good with secrets, Casey. Not even when they feel like the right thing to do. They eat me up. I feel like I’m always one second away from blurting them out. My brother told me to keep the money a secret, and look what happened? I did, just as he’d asked, and it still came back to bite me. I hate secrets. I can’t do it.”

  “I’m afraid you don’t have much of a choice,” he said with an ominous tone.

  “What does that mean? Are you threatening me?”

  “I’m not trying to be difficult here, I promise. I just don’t think you understand the severity of the situation. If you tell Luke that I was involved in this, in any way, there will be consequences.”

  “Yeah? Like what? What are you trying to tell me?”

  “Your brother, Lexi.”

  “What? What are you going to do to him?”

  “Those guys he hangs out with – they’re going to bury him. If Luke gets involved and blows this whole thing up, they’ll come straight for Cade. He’s an easy target. He doesn’t need any more trouble, right? Do you think he needs an angry mob after him?”

  “All Cade needs is an entirely new life, far away from here. He needs rehab. He needs to get away from all of you.”

  “So give him that opportunity, Lexi. Right now. You have the power to save him. Keep this secret, and he’ll stay safe.”

  I narrowed my eyes at him, not fully understanding exactly what he was saying.

  “Say it, Casey. What are you going to do?”

  He paused for a moment, as if he was trying to choose his words carefully. “If you tell Luke about any of this, Cade will be thrown into the lion’s den. I can’t tell you what will happen from there. It’s not entirely up to me, there are others involved. But I do know this: if you think you’re saving Luke by telling him everything, it will be at the expense of Cade. He’ll pay the price for it. Mark my words. If Luke finds out about any of this – your brother is done.”

  Chapter 22

  I mulled over Casey’s words. I wasn’t entirely sure what my brother was caught up in, but I did know if there truly was a good side and a bad side, he was likely caught up with the worst of them. That’s just how things went for my brother.

  “You’re asking a lot of me,” I stated, still standing with my arms crossed in front of me as I stared back at him. “You want me to keep all your transgressions from your brother, a guy I care deeply for, just so Cade has more time to screw up his life further by hanging around with people like you? What chance does he have after that at ever making a good life for himself? I feel like I get nothing but heartache out of this, either way, just to clear your conscious.”

  “You get it all, Lexi. Your brother is spared and you still end up with Luke. Don’t you think that’s what Luke would want?”

  “How would I know what he would do in this situation? How do I know you have his best interests at heart here? He would want to know about all of this.”

  “I’m sacrificing everything, Lexi,” he said with a frustrated tone. “If Luke finds out, he’ll interfere with all of this, and we’ll all get burned. All of us, Luke included. If I get caught, I lose everything. I have a family.”

  “I have a family too, Casey – the very person you’re threatening to hurt,” I sneered.

  “So take the opportunity to save him, Lexi. Haven’t you been trying to do that for years? Haven’t you always wanted to be the person in his life who truly made a difference? This is that chance. If Luke finds out, your brother is no longer safe. I promise you that. But if you can just move on, go back to Luke, pretend like all of this never happened – you can move on, and so can Cade, and everything can go back to normal. If you spill this though – Cade’s going to overdose and no one is going to call for help, Lexi. I think you understand that’s the only outcome waiting for him now. But you can change all that. Get him some help. Get him to rehab.”

  “How can you expect me to keep something this big from Luke?”

  “It’s the only way, Lexi. If he finds out about all of this, there’s no telling what he’ll do. You can’t walk away from him. He doesn’t deserve the heartbreak of losing you. He’s a good guy, and shouldn’t be caught up in any of this. Let all of this blow over, and everything can work out okay for once. Look, I’ve screwed up his life enough already, I know that. Did he tell you about Jen getting pregnant?”

  I nodded, assuming that was the ex-girlfriend high school cheerleader Luke mentioned to me previously.

  “Yeah, he should’ve murdered me for that,” Casey continued. “But he didn’t, because he’s better than that. He always sees the bigger picture, and that’s important. He’s saved my ass time and time again, knowing how little I deserve it, but that’s just the kind of guy he is – looking out for his own. He’s always in your corner, whether you deserve it or not, and that’s more than you can say about most people. I’m just trying to do right by him for once. If there are any of us Becketts who deserve a better life than the one we’ve been dealt, it’s him. He would do all of this for me – and for you. He would keep a secret if it meant saving someone he cared about.”

  “I hate that I’m hearing his opinion on all of this from you,” I said, still not fully trusting Casey as he unfolded all of this.

  “All I’m saying is, if he finds out about everything that’s happened – me being involved in the bank robbery, and breaking into your apartment and all that – there’s no telling what he’ll do. This will all come crashing down for everyone involved, and I promise you, if they go down, then he’s going down too. They’ll make sure of it, and they have plenty of proof to do that from the very first time he walked into your bank after agreeing to the terms before he knew what he had to lose.”

  “So keep your secret, you’ll leave my brother alone, and this all disappears? Is that what you’re telling me?”

  “You get your normal life back, yeah. You and Luke get to ride off into the sunset, I get to keep my family and Kyle is safe until he’s released from prison. And Cade? He’ll have the chance to get the help he so desperately needs before he ends up dead.”

  I hated how uncomfortable I felt during this conversation. Was it really that simple? If I told Luke everything, would they really hurt my brother? Could I risk that? These people were willing to pull off an armed robbery, so no doubt they wouldn’t have much consideration for a junkie who was in their way. Cade’s going to overdose and no one will call for help. Those words seared deep into my brain. I hated how true they felt. If they wanted revenge, it would be too easy for them. Maybe I had no choice but to keep this secret. Was it possible to really return to normal though after knowing what I knew? Luke still wasn’t exactly innocent in all of this from the beginning. Did he really scout out my bank? Would he have been part of the robbery if we’d never met before that day?

  “You can’t hurt my brother,” I said clearly, wanting him to be certain of my loyalty. “I will work on getting him help. But you have to promise me you’ll release him from all of this. He needs to not owe anything to anybody. He needs to be able to walk out of this unharmed, and you need to swear to me that nobody will let him back in this mess.”

  “Other than the harm he inflicts on himself, I can guarantee he walks out of this scot free if you’re willing to hold up your end of the deal.”

  I had a pit in my stomach. These last few days, I’d felt so let down to learn that Luke had been keeping a secret from me all this time. Now I was supposed to be the one with the secret? It would break us if he ever found out. Then again, weren’t we already so broken as it was? Were we repairable? I wanted him back, but at what cost? Losing my brother? I couldn’t risk it. I wondered now what I was doing to the relationship with his brother. Everything was a mess.

  “You won’t tell Luke I was in the bank that day?”

  “What if you’re the one tel
ling him?”

  I could see Luke’s truck heading toward us from Eighth Street, nearing the park.

  “What?” Casey was caught off guard by my response.

  “He’s right there,” I said, pointing toward the blue truck as it waited for cars to pass before he could turn onto the street in front of the park. I wondered if he could tell who I was talking to from inside the vehicle. He was just far enough away that he may not have realized it was his own brother with me in the park.

  “You told him to come here? Dammit!” He nervously bit his lip, trying to decide what to do. “Don’t mess this up for me!” He gritted his teeth. “Look, we can figure this out. Don’t do anything crazy. Give me some time and we’ll come up with a better plan. Just don’t tell Luke anything until we figure this out, and I’ll keep your brother safe. At least give me that.” His eyes plead with mine, but before I could say anything further, he bolted, running the opposite direction from where Luke was pulling into the lot for the park.

  He was long gone as I made my way over to where Luke had parked. I texted Olivia real quick, still uncertain as to where exactly they were hiding, but I didn’t want them to come out now. I needed more time to think through everything. Coast is clear. I’ll explain everything later. Not sure Luke needs to know about you guys hiding and waiting around for me while meeting his brother. I’m fine with him. Will text you in a bit. You are the best. I added a few emojis so she would know I was in my usual good spirits, even though I didn’t necessarily feel that way.

  Within a minute, Luke was opening up his driver’s side door as I neared the parking lot.

  “What’s going on? Why are you out of your car?” he stated, walking quickly up to meet me.

  “How’s my brother?”

  “He came to, but he’s in bad shape. It took me so long to get here because I was trying to get him to the hospital, but he refused, and the guys at the house weren’t too happy with the idea either. They gave him some shot, some Narcan or something, and he seemed better before I left. But Lexi, we need to do something. We need to get him out of that situation. It’s bad. He’s not safe there.”

  “I know,” I said with a heavy sigh, hating all of the things I had weighing on my heart at this moment.

  “Were you talking to someone? Who was here?”

  “Uh, yeah, this has been a weird day. I thought I was meeting my brother here, but then the phone call with you happened and I realized he wasn’t coming,” I rambled, trying to divert from his question. “There are people walking their dogs and stuff around the track.”

  “Are you okay? You’re shaking again. Why do I feel like this keeps happening?”

  Because of you. I hated that thought. I hated that all of these horrible feelings always centered around him.

  “It does keep happening. I want out. I want to run away,” I said quietly. It was merely a thought passing through my brain at the moment that I didn’t necessarily mean to utter, but it was so true. I wanted to disappear from all of this. I wanted to escape and be somewhere far, far away from all of these heavy decisions.

  “I’ll go with you,” he replied, pulling me into his arms. “Say the words. I’ll take you anywhere you want to go.”

  “You can’t. You have your grandfather to take care of. You have a new job to start soon…”

  “Forget all of that,” he said, touching my hair. “I’ll hire a nurse for a few days or however long you need to get away for. The job can wait, or if it can’t, I’ll get another one. None of that matters to me right now. All I care about is that you stop running. Whatever is bothering you, you can talk to me about it or you can keep it all in, either way, but you can’t run from me. Run with me. We can get in my truck right now and I swear I’ll take you anywhere you want to go, so long as we’re going together.”

  Of course Luke always had a way of making things more complicated. This was exactly the guy I’d been falling in love with. In an instant, he could make me feel like everything around us didn’t matter - like it was only him, me, and the sky above us. I’d never in my life felt like I needed so little. Us, together – that was enough. Luke Beckett was absolutely enough. I didn’t need anything else.

  “Take me somewhere beautiful and peaceful in the middle of nowhere,” I stated wistfully. “I just want to feel like everything’s going to be okay.”

  “Everything will be okay,” he said genuinely, still stroking my hair. He reached down for my hand. “I promise you. We’ve got this. Together.”

  It was mushy and sweet all at once, and the quicksand was again pulling me straight down. I didn’t know what to think about anything anymore. Maybe Luke wasn’t a great guy – but every part of me was falling for him anyway and I couldn’t stop it. Maybe he had more secrets – but I did too. His family was messy, but so was mine. Life was messy – but I was absolutely certain mine was still better with him in it. That’s all I could think about right now.

  He opened the passenger side door for me and helped me into the truck. He leaned in and kissed me, and the familiarity of his lips – the pull I felt toward him with his skin touching mine – I was certain this was exactly where I needed to be, in spite of everything that had just happened.

  He climbed in the truck and began backing out of the lot. “Do you want to stop by your apartment to grab anything, or…”

  “Nope,” I cut him off. “Just drive.”

  “I have an idea in mind. But it’s a couple hours from here.”

  “That sounds perfect.”

  Sure enough, Luke headed toward the highway and we drove out of Grand Harbor, which I was extremely grateful for. I wasn’t sure where he was taking me, but I didn’t care. Maybe I was a little reckless. I still had no idea if this guy was dangerous or if I was making a stupid choice, and I still had no idea what I was going to do about all of this, but I knew one thing: I couldn’t pull away from Luke. As naïve or stupid as it seemed, literally riding off into the sunset with someone I apparently knew so little about – it still didn’t seem wrong. I needed him, not because I couldn’t stand on my own two feet without him, or because I was ever dependent on another person – but because he made my heart feel like it was constantly going to burst out of my chest. My cheeks always hurt from smiling, my skin always tingled from the anticipation of his touch, and my brain couldn’t figure out a way to shut all of that off. Things seemed clearer with him sitting next to me, and I needed that now more than ever.

  “I imagine you aren’t going to tell me where we’re going?” I stared out the passenger window, wondering if we were even staying in Michigan.

  “Clover Lake,” he replied, smiling at me from the driver’s seat. He still held onto my hand while he was driving and I loved that. “My brothers and I used to fish there all the time growing up. It’s not a big lake. There were hardly any other people there, even on a Saturday afternoon or whatever – and definitely not a tourist spot or anything. It’s just outside of a small town called Glendale, you ever heard of it?”

  “Nope. We weren’t exactly fishing people growing up,” I explained, thinking back to how often my father worked on the weekends. It seemed like he was always at the office, so we didn’t get out much. We mostly stayed around Grand Harbor.

  “Well the town is pretty quaint, but I know there are a couple restaurants if you want some food. The lake though, I know you’re used to Lake Michigan in your back yard, and I’m not pretending this holds that same kind of beauty, but – I don’t know, there’s something about it. It’s peaceful. You can drive your truck right down to the water’s edge. I swear there are a million more stars out there without all those city lights around.”

  “That sounds amazing.” I was so much more tired than I’d realized. Sitting in Luke’s truck, staring out the window, apparently I fell asleep. My brain needed the rest.

  I woke up just before nine o’clock, before the sun was fully down, as we were pulling in to a small dirt lot where there was some kind of boat launch area.

&
nbsp; “Down here,” he pointed straight ahead, then around to the right side of the lake, “there’s a great spot. We used to park there all the time and spend the entire weekend fishing. There’s a dock to jump off of.”

  “This late at night?” I giggled, stretching out my arms after sleeping awkwardly upright.

  “I don’t know what you have in mind,” he said with a laugh. “You’re the one dragging me out here late on a weeknight. I never know what’s in that head of yours, so I’m just laying out our options. I just thought it might be a nice place to talk…and to reconnect and all of that. Things have been a little crazy lately.”

  “You’re telling me,” I mumbled quietly as he pulled down toward the water.

  He backed the truck up and we got out. I slipped off my sandals and the ground felt cool on my feet. He laced his fingers with mine, and we walked down the old wooden pier, sitting down on the end of it. We let our legs hang over the edge, but our feet still didn’t touch the water.

  “There hasn’t been much rain this summer so the water level is pretty low,” he explained. “Usually it’s a lot higher than this.”

  “When’s the last time you came out here?”

  “It’s been a few summers,” he said, pulling my hand into his lap. He traced around my skin with one of his fingers. “More than that I guess, probably back when I was still in high school. Life seemed to get a lot more complicated after that. I guess I haven’t really been out here in ages.” He grew quiet.

  We stared out at the horizon as the last few orange and purple streaks from the sunset were swallowed up by the night sky. The stars began to emerge overhead and Luke was right – they seemed brighter here than most other places I’d ever witnessed.