Shattered Treasure

by Cindy Patterson

  Overwhelmed with emotion, she heaved air into her lungs as she curled onto her side in the middle of her bed and stared at the walls of a bedroom that no longer belonged to her. She was haunted by the fact that she belonged nowhere. Not with her mama, not living here with her aunt, not in Jacksonville in a rented house hiding her pregnancy from the world.

  But what troubled her most of all, she didn’t want her baby to ever feel alone and unwanted, or that she didn’t belong. Addison imagined all the ways she could give this baby a wonderful life. Be the kind of mother that would make her daughter feel secure and loved. She would be nothing like her mama had been for her.

  There was only one thing her and her mama had in common, her mama carrying another man’s baby because of her infidelity. And Addison carrying Philip’s baby, even though it wasn’t the easiest choice.

  With an image of Charlotte’s baby girl merging with the baby living inside her, Addison drifted into a restless sleep.

  Logan had called Nathan as soon as he reached his truck. “I need to talk to you now. I’m coming to Raleigh.”

  “Did you want me to meet you at Mom’s?”

  “No, the ride will do me good. I’m on the way.” He pressed end, not giving Nathan a chance to object.

  Two hours later, Logan dropped his coat in the corner of the room and stood across from his brother. “I saw her. Today.”

  Nathan’s eyes brightened. “Addison? Where? Did you talk to her?”

  “No, I didn’t talk to her. What am I supposed to say to her? 'Wow, you’re pregnant’?” Nathan’s expression showed no hint of surprise. “You knew?”

  Nathan wandered across the room toward him. “It wasn’t my place to tell you.”

  “Is it yours?”

  Nathan’s face twisted in anguish. “Logan, how could you even say that? After all we’ve been through.”

  “I don’t know what to think.” Logan shook his head and sat on the sofa. “Why didn’t she just tell me the truth?”

  “The truth?” Nathan walked toward him. “What would you have said to her? Would you have stood by her?”

  “I don’t know. I don’t know anything. I’m so confused.”

  Nathan sat in the space next to him. “She doesn’t think she deserves you.”

  Logan buried his face in his hands, staring blankly at his fingertips.

  “Talk to her, Logan. She needs your friendship.”

  “She doesn’t want my friendship. She wanted yours. She came here to you, instead of me.”

  “Quit being so stubborn. She had nothing to lose with me. With you, she faced losing everything.”

  “She didn’t lose me; she tossed me out like I was nothing to her. Twice.”

  “You don’t understand.”

  Logan clenched his fists. “And I suppose you do? Of course, you do. She confided in you. I knew she still had feelings for Philip and was having a hard time getting over him, but I would’ve never thought she would—”

  “Look at you.” There was a steely edge to Nathan’s voice. “You always jump to conclusions and react before hearing the whole story. I saw her here in Raleigh … at the mall. She was crying and I knew something had happened. She’d come to see her mom, but her mom already had plans and didn’t have time for her. I just happened to be in the right place at the right time for Addison during a very vulnerable time.”

  Logan fell back against the sofa, staring down at his hands. “I knew she was dating Philip, but she told me it was over between them. She was still seeing him behind my back.” Logan stood and scuffled his feet. “Why do I even care?”

  “Because you love her.”

  “Well, apparently my love wasn’t enough for her. She wanted that jerk instead.”

  “You’re wrong. It wasn’t like that.”

  “She was still with Philip while we were supposed to be dating.”

  Nathan threw his hands up in the air. “Do you really believe she would do that to you? Are you so self-absorbed in your pity over what Carrie did to you that you can’t trust anyone? After all these years you fall for the most beautiful, caring, girl you will ever have the opportunity to love and you are throwing it all away because of your jealousy.”

  “I’m not jealous. She’s pregnant, with Philip’s baby. Are you telling me she got pregnant before we started dating? No, you can’t. I’ve done the math a hundred different ways. And it all ends up with the same sum. She got pregnant while we were together. Unless I’m way off with my calculations from how pregnant she looks.”

  Nathan closed his eyes. “The baby’s due in March.”

  Logan counted the months on his fingers and flinched. He turned to leave. He knew it. There was nothing else to say.

  “Where are you going?”

  Logan crossed the room and grabbed his jacket. “I’m leaving.”

  “Are you going to talk to her?”

  Logan pressed his lip into a thin line fighting to gain control. “You can’t be serious. What am I supposed to say, congratulations? I hope you and Philip will be happy together.”

  “She isn’t with Philip.”

  “Is that supposed to make me feel better? Nothing you’ve said changes anything.”

  Nathan clutched the edge of the table and leaned forward. “Then why did you come here? If it bothers you so much that she’s pregnant, why are you here? Because you wanted to make sure it isn’t mine.”

  “Are you trying to push me?”

  “I’m trying to help you understand that you can’t jump to conclusions and act on them. You should talk to her. Don’t let her go, Logan. Fight for her.”

  “I tried. She didn’t give me a choice. But none of that matters now.”

  Nathan rubbed his jaw, studying him with weary eyes. “So, I guess she did the right thing not talking to you. It would have devastated her if you’d said any of this to her.”

  “It doesn’t matter what I would’ve said to her.”

  Nathan slammed his fist against the coffee table. The gesture reminded him of Dad. “It matters more than you think, because it would have driven her even deeper into despair if she’d told you the truth.”

  “What truth? That she cheated on me, or that she’s sorry she got caught?”

  “No,” his voice lowered in defeat, “that Philip raped her.”

  42

  Addison spent the rest of the weekend unable to remove the image of Logan’s face, the sorrow in his eyes. She’d tossed and turned every night, dreaming of Logan standing in the rain staring at her, begging her to stop. She had hoped he would call and demand an explanation, but even as she drove back to Jacksonville Sunday night he still hadn’t.

  And she knew he never would.

  Logan was a part of her past and that was where he would stay. As bad as she wanted to go to him and beg his forgiveness, what good would it do? Nothing would change the fact that she was carrying Philip’s baby, a baby that wasn’t conceived out of love.

  Early the next morning, she reached for her phone and called in for a sub to take her place. She couldn’t face anyone. Not today.

  Settled on her decision and relieved to have a few more hours to herself, she climbed under the covers and buried her head in the pillow and cried until her head ached.

  At noon, she shuffled to the kitchen to the coffee maker. Maybe a strong cup of coffee would make her feel better. The cold winter air filled the house and she snuggled on the couch with her coffee and blanket.

  After several hours of watching reruns, she turned off the television. The cold wind howled outside, and she stared through the front window as a school bus stopped just up the block. Children bundled up in coats and scarves wobbled toward their homes. Fresh tears blurred her vision as she thought of the child she carried inside.

  It’s not fair, God. She spoke through the windowpane, her hot breath fogging it instantly. With her sweatshirt, she made a circle, erasing the evidence. A gray Silverado crept by her house, the tinted windows exactly as those of Logan’s tru
ck. She leaned back but quickly changed her mind, wanting to see the truck so similar to his. But when she looked again, the truck was gone.

  It couldn’t have been him, he was working in Wilmington, but her heart pounded for an hour after seeing the familiar truck. She wanted to climb in her car and drive back to Wilmington, to go straight to Logan and confess her undying love. But she couldn’t.

  She would leave Logan and his family alone. She’d caused them enough pain. Mrs. Tant, Ami, and Nathan, even Mr. Tant, had all been so wonderful to her, accepted her as part of their family. And she wanted her memories of their time together to remain untainted by the ugliness hovering over her.

  Addison returned to school on Tuesday glad for the normal routine.

  “We missed you yesterday.”

  Addison glanced up to see McKenzie walking toward her. “I wasn’t feeling good. Did anything exciting happen in my absence?”

  He took a seat in one of the student’s chairs facing her. “No, but I’m glad you’re feeling better.”

  “Yeah, me too. So how far behind am I?”

  “You’re not behind at all. I took your papers home last night and graded them for you and I’ve got some ideas for the party tomorrow. See what you think.” He pulled a piece of paper from a manila envelope and handed it across the desk to her.

  “Wow, you did all this?”

  “Actually, Mrs. Thompson let me look at her list of games and I jotted down what I thought would work for us.”

  “This looks good to me. Let me make a copy for tomorrow.”

  “That one is yours to keep.” He walked around the desk, closing the distance between them. “Were you feeling unwell because of your pregnancy?”

  Addison blushed at his bluntness. “Not exactly. It was probably just a bug.”

  “If there’s anything I can do, let me know.” He turned and winked.

  “Thanks, I will.” She hoped she didn’t seem rude, but his question stirred unwanted feelings. Feelings she couldn’t deal with right now.

  She stood against the brick building as her class ran toward the playground. Keeping her eyes on the small girls climbing the monkey bars, she set her things on the bench and rubbed her arms. The last of the snow had melted, but the icy air remained.

  Addison glanced at her assistant, Mrs. Baker. “We won’t be out here long.”

  “I now it’s freezing. I thought it would have warmed up by now. It was supposed to reach the mid-fifties by noon. Are you feeling better?”

  “Yes, thank you.”

  A soft voice caught her attention. “Miss Morgan?”

  “Yes, Amelia?”

  “My nose is burning.”

  Addison laughed. “It’s a little too cool to be out here today. Why don’t you stand here while I call the others and we’ll go in and play a game instead?”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  After her class formed a single-file line, they headed inside and she worked to get the excited children, full of energy, to settle down.

  “Okay, class. It’s a little too cold to play outside, so Amelia,” she said glancing at the blue-eyed girl, “and I have decided to play a game inside.”

  The boys and girls formed a circle on the carpet for their game and Addison pointed to David, who sat quietly. “We’re going to play basketball with our sight words. David, you will go first. When you name a word correctly, you get to shoot this ball to the basket. If you make it, you go again. Ready?”

  The game continued through their thirty-minute recess break and she smiled at each child as they took a turn.

  “Okay class, let’s return to our seats and take out your readers.”

  Mrs. Baker returned from the teacher’s lounge and handed Addison a chocolate éclair one of the teachers had made.“Oh no, you don’t. You know I’m trying to watch what I eat.”

  Mrs. Baker smirked. “Really, Addison. You look fabulous. That baby’s hungry too, sugar.”

  A pang of regret filled her. “This isn’t exactly healthy food for the baby.”

  “Is anything ever really healthy? Come on, you look so sad. I thought this would cheer you up.”

  Addison took the wrapped glazed dough drizzled with chocolate. “Thank you. It was very sweet of you.”

  Mrs. Baker slipped her arm through Addison’s. “You know, if you ever need to talk, I’m a really good listener.”

  She smiled and took a small bite, washing it down with her bottled water. “I know you are. Hey, this is really good.”

  “I know.”

  Mrs. Baker turned her attention back to the class as Addison called for Derek to come to the front to read.

  While leading the rest of the children through their reading time, Addison pulled apart the valentines she’d bought for the children and signed her name on each one. After dropping a few pieces of candy in each bag, she tied them and placed them in a basket to pass out during the party scheduled for tomorrow. She should’ve done this yesterday, but after seeing Logan Friday standing in the rain, she couldn’t bring herself to look at the little cards containing words of friendship—words of love.

  After giving homework instructions, she read a valentine’s story to her class, ignoring the smoldering ache of her heart.

  43

  Logan pulled into the school parking lot and sat there for ten minutes before he climbed from his truck. He had taken all weekend to think through every detail of how he wanted to handle this.

  It had taken all his strength to keep from finding Philip and beating him to a pulp for what he had done to Addison. Instead, he had made a decision. He would fight for Addison Morgan.

  There was no better day than Valentine’s Day to start his quest. He loved her with all his heart and would stick by her no matter what. And he was ready to show her just how much he meant that.

  After signing in, Logan got directions to Addison’s room from one of the ladies working in the office. “They’re scheduled to be in the auditorium, but you may catch her before she takes her class.” She wrote down the directions to the auditorium just in case. “Are you a parent?”

  “No, a good friend. Thank you so much.”

  Minutes later, Logan stood across from Addison’s classroom as she read a story to her class from a wooden stool. She propped the book over her protruding belly and the sight took him by surprise.

  Logan took a step back into an alcove, hiding as children exited from a classroom across the hall. Kids talked and snickered among themselves as they made a formal line on the other side of Addison’s doorway.

  The teacher, a tall young man not much older than him, walked to Addison’s door and stood there silently watching her. After a moment, he approached her and she smiled, her eyes embarrassed. It wasn’t until the teacher walked from the room that he recognized him from the grocery store parking lot on Friday afternoon.

  What was he doing in Wilmington, if he worked here?

  Logan pulled the vase filled with daisies closer against his chest. Logan hoped Addison waited until her class filed from the room and would follow behind them, but that wasn’t what happened. She walked side by side with the other teacher in between both classes. They talked and laughed, and he carried her things.

  Hot anger ripped a jagged hole through his chest. He thought of Nathan’s words of advice.

  Don’t jump to conclusions. Don’t act on what you think you see. Wait for an explanation.

  That all sounded good, but right now watching the two of them walking side by side, talking in hushed whispers, that advice didn’t make him feel better. Calm down. They work together, that’s all. He wasn’t going to give up that easily.

  He followed a safe distance behind and waited until everyone had entered the auditorium before he slipped in through the side door. He searched every corner for Addison but didn’t see her. Anywhere.

  “May I help you?”

  Logan turned to find the teacher from across the hall, looking down on him. Of course, he was taller. Regaining his composure
, he straightened. It didn’t matter if the simple act didn’t increase his height, it made him feel better. “I’m here to see Addison. Addison Morgan.”

  “Logan?” The sound of her soft voice from behind him calmed every jealous emotion in one instant.

  He turned slowly, taking in her blue-violet eyes, mesmerized by the warm glow in her cheeks.

  She turned to the other teacher. “I’ll be right back.” She took Logan’s arm, and he obliged. Her soft grip could have pulled him anywhere at that moment. They reached the hall before she stopped and faced him. “What are you doing here?”

  He cleared his dry throat and handed her the vase. “Happy Valentine’s Day.”

  Her head tilted to one side. She kept her gaze locked on the flowers, and he immediately regretted not going after her, for giving up so easy.

  “You came all the way here.”

  “I wanted to see you.” He couldn’t say the words he wanted to say out loud, and the silence was deafening. “I would’ve called, but I was scared you wouldn’t talk to me.”

  “You were scared I wouldn’t talk to you?” Her gaze fell to the flowers again and her frown deepened.

  “Not after I saw you that day at the grocery store.”

  “I’m sorry, I should’ve stopped. I—” He brushed his fingers against her cheek, encouraging her to look at him. A sheen of moisture filled her eyes as she looked from him to the flowers. “I’ve hated myself that I left you standing there every minute since.”

  From the moment Nathan had told him the truth, he’d wanted to hold her. She was standing here in front of him and he couldn’t resist. He wrapped her into his free arm, relishing the feel of her body leaning into his. “It’s so good to see you. Happy Valentine’s Day.” They stood there in the darkened hallway, holding to each other.

  Reluctantly, he let her go and, though each step hurt, he backed away. “I should let you get back to your class.”

  “Thank you, Logan.” The underlying tone in her voice told him all he needed to know. She was glad he’d come.