Loved Up

by A. A. Albright

  Angela’s eyes widened with excitement. ‘Oh, Patrick! Now I know why I like you so much. And I really did want to use the Ire on someone. Come here.’ She pulled his tie, drawing him down for another kiss. ‘Let’s fool around for a while before we write the note.’

  Okay, so that was about as much as I could take. I reached to my belt, and clicked a disempowerment device. Good goddess, I loved Peacemaker gadgets. That done, I inwardly incanted, undoing my invisibility spell in a flash.

  ‘I think I’ll take charge of that,’ I said as I reappeared, snatching the vial of Ire.

  Angela pulled the blankets over herself, grabbing onto Patrick’s shirtsleeve. ‘What is she ... why is she ...what in Hecate’s name is going on Patrick?’

  Patrick didn’t seem to have the answer, so I spoke again. ‘What’s going on is that you’re both under arrest,’ I said, extending a finger and performing a quick binding spell. Seeing Angela trussed up in golden rope while she was wearing so little was slightly disturbing though, so I threw her a robe. ‘On second thoughts, put that on before I bind you.’

  Her mouth opened and closed a few times while she shrugged her robe on. Patrick wasn’t much better with words, poor thing. Eventually he managed to spit out, ‘We didn’t murder anyone. You can’t arrest us.’

  ‘Oh can’t I?’ I smiled sweetly. ‘It really does baffle me why you people have a say in who gets to be Minister. I can arrest you both actually. For conspiracy to murder.’ I held up my phone. ‘Proof of which is on this nifty little recording device. And if that doesn’t get you put away for long enough, then there’s also that pesky little matter of the Ire. It’s an illegal substance. Just being in possession of this stuff is enough to put you both away for life.’

  Angela nodded furiously at Patrick. ‘It was him! It was all his idea.’

  Patrick gasped. ‘No it wasn’t, you harridan. It was all your idea!’

  I smiled sweetly again. ‘Ah. Isn’t love wonderful? Anyway, much as I’d like to stand here and watch the two of you turn on each other, I’ve got better things to do today.’ I extended a finger, and redid the binding spell. As the golden rope wrapped them together, I grabbed onto them and snapped my fingers.

  And when I got to the Wyrd Court, well ... I might have left them tied up together for a little while longer before I processed them. They say misery loves company? Turns out, those two most definitely did not.

  12. A Wayfair By Any Other Name ...

  With Angela and Patrick processed, I was feeling even more eager to get on with my plan to take the ex-Minister out of her comfort zone. After all, I was now even surer that no one on the College Board had been behind Nancy’s murder. They would have been, if the actual murderer hadn’t gotten there first. But there was another killer – or a whole team of killers out there – and I was certain that Justine Plimpton could lead me to them. Annoying Justine would have to wait a while longer, though, because Agatha’s big announcement was about to take place.

  The sun was shining as I stood on the steps of the Wyrd Court, lined up with two dozen other members of the new police force. The whole of Warren Lane was packed, with supernaturals from all over Ireland turning up to hear what Agatha had to say.

  There were plenty of officers out in the crowd, too, in case things went badly. I was even holding a truncheon.

  Like Finn and most of the current Peacemakers, I had no magical use for one of these truncheons. Their original intention had been to disguise the fact that the ex-Minister was hiring staff so weak in magic that they needed a wand to direct their power. Hell, the truncheons even had wizard-tech built in, to enhance that remedial magic even further. But with Finn and my mother having been in charge of all recent hires, we now had a staff who had easily enough magic – and control of their magic – to handle most situations.

  So why was I holding a truncheon? Well, that was because I was wearing my brand spanking new uniform. And it did include a truncheon, because if were to take on all comers, then they would need them. The one I was holding was an old Peacemaker truncheon, but a new one would soon be designed, suitable for all supernaturals. Right now, we were just about advertising the possibilities.

  Gabriel was at the Wyrd Court, too, but he wasn’t wearing a new uniform. Instead, he was wearing one of his TV suits – a particularly shiny one that made me cringe. His show, Wyrd News in the Afternoon, would be doing a segment on the announcement, and he was scheduled to interview Agatha afterwards. I stood in line watching him as he interacted with his TV buddies, wishing to the goddess that I knew where my head was at.

  Despite his Wyrd News get-up, he looked just as handsome as ever. And when he kissed me shortly before I joined the line-up, my knees had turned to jelly. Whenever I was near him, all I wanted to do was stay near him for as long as possible, so I could sniff in that delicious scent of his.

  But as soon as we parted, and I took my place on the steps, he went clean out of my mind. Thoughts of Gabriel were quickly replaced by thoughts of Max. Max and me, laughing and messing about on the beach with Wolfie. Max and me, curled up on the couch and watching scary movies with Dizzy.

  A while ago, Gabriel admitted to me that the reason he was having problems with Max was because he was suffering from a case of the green-eyed monster. At the time I’d thought it was ridiculous. But now? Now I didn’t know what to think. Had I been harbouring secret feelings for Max all this time? Feelings so secret that I didn’t even know about them myself?

  Thankfully, Agatha stepped forward, and I shook my confusion away. She beamed out at the crowd and tapped the microphone. ‘Hello, and thank you all for coming!’ she bellowed. ‘I must say an extra-special thanks to my new boyfriend, and the love of my life, Ralph Murray.’

  Say what now?

  My eyes drifted to the man Agatha was beaming at. Ralph had a head full of wild grey curls, rheumy eyes, and puffy red cheeks. A walking stick sat by his chair. I vaguely recognised him. I’d seen him in Magical History and Tall Tales books, proudly displaying the artefacts he curated for the museum. So he was the guy she rushed off to meet on Imbolc? And he was her boyfriend already?

  Hmm. Maybe Agatha ought to have apprised Ralph of the change in their relationship status before she went and announced it to the world, because the poor old guy looked like he was hearing it for the first time. He gave Agatha an uncomfortable smile, and looked like he wanted to disappear into his seat.

  ‘Ralph has given my life meaning,’ Agatha went on. ‘And he’s supported me every step of the way on the announcement I’m about to make today.’

  I glanced at the others, wondering if they knew any more about this whole Ralph situation. Ronnie was standing next to me, but for some reason she was far more interested in what was on the screen of her phone, rather than on the odd turn that Agatha’s announcement was taking.

  ‘Did you hear that?’ I asked her. ‘I thought Agatha only got together with Ralph the other night. And I mean ... well, shouldn’t she be talking about the new police force rather than her new relationship right now?’

  Ronnie barely glanced up from her screen. ‘What? Yeah. That sounds nice. Listen, just give me a minute. I’ve been trying to call Arthur, but he’s not answering his phone.’

  ‘I think that might be because he’s teaching a Tall Tales class right now,’ I muttered. ‘I also think we should pay attention to the crowd, Ronnie. When Agatha finally stops gushing about Ralph and starts talking about the changes to the force, things might go a bit pear-shaped.’

  She smiled absentmindedly. ‘Sure. Coffee would be great,’ she said, pressing a button on her phone. I could hear the dial-tone, and the sound of Arthur’s voice telling her to leave a message. ‘Arthur!’ Ronnie hissed. ‘I don’t know why you’re not answering, but call me back! I haven’t seen you for two hours, and I miss you!’

  I glanced along the line, hoping that everyone else was at least pretending to pay attention to the proceedings. Most of them seemed to be acting normally. But my mothe
r and Christine had idiotic smiles on their faces, and were waving into the audience, to where my dad and Kevin Caulfield were sitting side by side.

  I turned around to Melissa. She wasn’t here as a member of the new force, but she was clerking for the lawyer who had been giving Agatha legal advice. ‘Do you see this?’ I whispered urgently. ‘It’s like first year at school here. What is with our coven right now?’

  ‘I know,’ Melissa whispered back, looking just as worried as I was. ‘I’ve had a word with my mother, and told her she needs to pay more attention to the job instead of mooning over Kevin all the time. It must be this moon we’ve just gone through. I think it’s still having an effect.’ Her own eyes drifted out to the audience. ‘I ... em ... I thought Max might be here.’

  I felt my jaw go tense enough to shatter my teeth. ‘He’s working,’ I said. ‘He told me he’ll be watching it in the Water Bowl.’

  Unable to miss Melissa’s little moan of disappointment, I turned my attention back to Agatha’s speech. She’d finally finished thanking her boyfriend, and had moved onto the real reason why we were here today.

  ‘You might all remember, some time ago, when the previous Minister declared a state of national emergency. Justine Plimpton did so in order to enact the Leadership Clause, the only way for her to do what she could not have done otherwise – dissolve the force known as the Wayfairs.’

  There were some murmurs in the crowd. Our popularity with the public (if not with certain people within the government) was still high, and there was a shout or two that suggested certain actions the former Minister could take. I think you can figure out what sorts of things they were suggesting she might do.

  ‘Justine Plimpton had to make changes in an underhanded manner, because as we all know, the existence of the Wayfairs is ingrained within our Magical Law. We cannot dissolve the Wayfairs – not unless they agree. And today I’m here to tell you that the leader of the Wayfair coven, Beatrice Wayfair, has given her agreement. As of today, the police force known as the Wayfairs no longer exists.’

  There was a loud cry of outrage from some in the crowd. Agatha held her hands up. ‘Hear me out. Beatrice Wayfair is still in charge of our police force, even more so than ever before. Because today, Beatrice is taking charge of a new police force.’ She turned to smile at my mother. ‘Come on, Beatrice. Come up here and explain.’

  My mother joined Agatha on the stage. ‘First of all,’ she said. ‘I’d like to thank my husband, Aengus Wayfair. He has been my rock and my inspiration throughout this process.’ She gave him a wave. ‘What Agatha has just told you might come as a shock. The Wayfairs have been around for generations. Since the very first Wayfarer, the woman known as Wanda, my daughter’s namesake, and an inspiration to us all. And Wanda’s inspiration is exactly why we’re starting this new force. We don’t want one coven, the Wayfairs, to have a say over the law of the land. We want an inclusive, new police force, one that is there to serve the people, and one which anyone can join. Coven will not matter. What manner of supernatural you are will not matter. This is a new force. A force that serves the people. And because we have drawn inspiration from the original Wayfarer, we’ve decided – after much deliberation – to name the new force after her. Today is the beginning. Today, anyone can be a Wayfarer. Any one of you can be a part of what the original Wayfarer set out to achieve.’

  She spoke for a while more, explaining exactly how this new force would be laid out – how she would be Commissioner, overseeing everything in our new headquarters. Finn would be heading up Major Crimes (making me and the other detectives his underlings – he was going to like that way too much), Christine would be in charge of the new Crime Prevention division, hiring as many psychics and empaths as she could get her hands on. I somehow doubted Gabriel Godbody the Twentieth would be applying.

  At first, the reaction to the news was better than I expected. There were cheers and shouts of excitement and congratulations. There were people asking how they could join. But normality could only reign for so long.

  From somewhere in the centre of the crowd, a tall man shouted, ‘Wait – are you saying that even a stinking wizard can be a Wayfarer?’

  ‘Or a weredog?’ asked someone else.

  Agatha smiled. ‘That is exactly what we’re saying. Beatrice will be looking for new members, new blood and new perspectives, so that the Wayfarers can help bring an end to the divisiveness that undermines our supernatural communities.’

  Aaaaand cue the kick-off.

  Finn looked at me, brows raised, as some of the crowd began to surge towards the stage, shouting, screaming and kicking things. It was a very small number of the crowd, sure. But they were going to have an almighty domino effect.

  ‘Ready to rumble?’

  I sighed. ‘Ready to stop the rumble, hopefully. But y’know ... semantics?’

  I glanced at Ronnie, thinking that – surely – she would have noticed what was going on. No such luck. Ronnie was still staring at the screen of her phone, mumbling, ‘Come on, Arthur. Call me back.’

  I rolled my eyes, left her to it, and ran into the melee.

  13. Destiny

  As the dust settled and the worst of the offenders were finally dealt with, I sat on the steps of the Wyrd Court, sipping from a bottle of orange juice and chewing on a sandwich.

  ‘It wasn’t that bad in the end,’ said Gretel, taking a seat next to me. She looked amazing in the new uniform. The helmets were gone, so the faces of all officers would be on full view. Seeing as we were supernaturals, those old Peacemaker helmets had never really been about protecting the officers from harm – more like protecting them from recognition or reprisal while they were bullying whatever person happened to take their fancy that day.

  We still had magic-deflecting breastplates, but now the breastplates were silver instead of grey and black, and the design was far softer looking. The outfit underneath was black, and there was a belt around the waist that made it look almost like a jumpsuit, but it was actually two pieces. Because who needs to deal with a jumpsuit when they’ve got to pee? I didn’t care whether I was a detective or not. I was going to wear this thing as often as I could.

  Finn grunted his agreement, taking a slug from a bottle of cola. ‘Where’s your mam? I thought she’d want to stick around for Agatha’s big TV interview.’

  I glanced at the other side of the steps, where Agatha’s interview with Gabriel was coming to a close. I knew exactly where my mother was. And my father. I just didn’t want to think about it. ‘Oh, I think something urgent came up,’ I lied.

  ‘Huh. Christine must have had something urgent to do, too,’ said Gretel. ‘She disappeared as soon as we got the last troublemaker in bonds. And I think Ronnie might have left even before then. Still, I guess there’s no need for them, now that it’s all over.’

  The cameras had stopped rolling, and Agatha was rushing away from Gabriel, talking into her phone. ‘Ralph, why did you leave so soon?’ she was saying, a tad high-pitched. ‘I thought we’d have dinner together. I miss you!’

  Speaking of people behaving weirdly, I looked around for Melissa, but couldn’t see her anywhere. Probably gone off to make herself even more beautiful for when Max got home. I sighed and tossed what was left of my sandwich to a nearby pigeon.

  ‘Hey, are you sure you want to do this tonight?’ Finn said. ‘I thought you and Max had a night in planned.’

  I fixed a smile on my face. ‘That’s okay. He has Melissa for company now. Listen, I’ll be back in a minute. I told Gabriel I’d go talk to him when the show was over.’

  The news crew had set up a few tents around the Wyrd Court for the production. I guessed that most of them were using a bigger on the inside spell, because I’d seen how much equipment they had, and it was not going to fit into a three foot square space. I looked for the one with Gabriel’s name, but although his clothes and things were laid out inside, he was nowhere to be seen.

  I wandered around, but couldn’t find him anywhe
re. Just as I was about to give up and try his phone, I heard his voice coming from a tent marked: Executive Producer.

  ‘Are you sure it was the right recipe?’ Gabriel was asking.

  A female voice sent a sigh into the air. ‘I’ve told you a hundred times, Gabe, it was the right recipe. Maybe we need to up it again.’

  I knew that voice. It was the horse-faced woman. I knew she worked at the TV station, but I had no idea what it was she did there. Every time I met her, I overheard her making sarcastic remarks about me to someone or other. On one occasion, she’d remarked that my bum was big enough to quash out Ireland’s crime problems all by itself.

  Lovely woman – I couldn’t think why I didn’t spend more time with her.

  ‘Up it?’ Gabriel said. ‘We’ve already increased it a hundred fold since we started making the stuff. Upping it any more could end in death!’

  I debated for a moment – I was already spying on Gabriel’s father, so would spying on him, too, make any difference? And if I decided to go ahead and spy anyway, would I be doing so out of professional curiosity, or plain old nosiness?

  I shrugged my shoulders, and whispered an incantation: ‘Unheard and unseen to everyone’s eyes, until this spell I do revise.’

  I stood in front of a cameraman and waved my arms and shouted out. He kept right on scratching his rear. Happy that my spell had worked, I walked into the tent. I was right. It was the horse-faced woman. Gabriel once told me her name was Lindsey Berry.

  ‘Listen, Lindsey,’ he said, ‘you have a job to do here. We all do. I need you to get onto our new guy and have that last batch tested, because it’s not working. Not the way we hoped.’

  Lindsey began to play with a thick bracelet on her wrist. It was gold, with an enormous love heart charm. ‘I suppose I can go see him after I visit the love of my life tonight.’