Too Much to Lose

by Holt, Samantha

  The phone on my desk rings and I snatch it, silently hoping it might be the gravelly lilt of Hunter—even though he’s only just stepped out of the building.

  “Hello. Jessica Callahan.”

  Silence.

  “Hello?” I swallow. This isn’t the first silent call I’ve had since starting work at the bank. I’d put it down to a fault or pocket dial if you didn’t have to go through reception or have my direct number which only customers get. Like Hunter.

  Must stop thinking about that man. He’s too gruff and intimidating.

  And sexy.

  I listen for a few more moments, try to decide if that’s really heavy breathing I can hear. Who does that, seriously? Shaking my head, I hang up and suppress a shudder. I’m being paranoid. No one has recognized me since I moved to London and it’s been years. My ex might have uncovered the video of me, but that was only shortly after I quit the business.

  Still, I need to play it cautiously. That means no friends and definitely no dating, or I’ll have to move and start all over again. An elderly lady approaches and I paste on a smile, realizing it’s my next appointment. Definitely no dating, and no Hunter, I vow silently. I can’t afford for anyone to find out I was once a porn star.

  Chapter Two

  Hunter

  I swirl the beer around the bottom of the bottle and eye it. It’s a Friday night and the bar is packed. Laughter and conversation mingles with the clatter of glasses and the low thumping music. I’ve been lucky enough to grab a seat by the bar but Murphy’s is packed, customers jostling for space. A few regulars are crouched over the bar like me. Except they’re old and worn. I probably look out of place propping up the bar. Though I feel worn and jaded.

  Jess pauses in front of me. I’ve watched her for almost two hours now. Always guarded, she keeps a careful smile on her face. Men try to talk to her—who wouldn’t?—but she remains reserved. She works hard and I’ve barely had a moment to say anything to her.

  Maybe I shouldn’t have become one of the dozens of guys vying for her attention tonight. My Irish charm failed me the moment I first met her and I’ve been playing catch up ever since, coming into the bar every night in the hopes of getting closer to her. If I’d have known this damned job was going to be so much hassle, I’d have told Jess Callahan’s uncle to shove it. Tracking down a lost little rich girl is not my idea of fun.

  I crick my neck and shake my head. Too bad I need the money. With my investigation business badly in the red, what other choice do I have? Somehow I need to find out what Jess has done with the fifty thousand she stole from her uncle, Carl, but I never counted on running into her at the bank and my plan to carefully approach her and maybe ask her out flew out the window. Even in a prim little suit, she managed to fuck with my head. Which is not good. I don’t want to ask her out for a good time. I want to ask her out so I can close this case.

  Her lips curve upward in the first genuine smile I’ve seen in ages when she stops to chat with the older guy behind the bar. Something twists inside me. That smile makes her appear even younger. Underneath that thick black eye make-up and red lipstick, there’s a sweet innocent thing begging to be unleashed. I recall how she looked in the school picture I have on file—all blonde hair and healthy glowing skin. She’s gorgeous now but I’m willing to bet she would be stunning as a blonde with no make-up too. Even from her old picture, it was clear she would grow up to be a heart-breaker.

  I flick on what I hope is a charming smile as she approaches. Her smile wavers. It’s been so long since I’ve done the whole seduction thing. I went through plenty of women a few years ago but one too many of them made a good attempt at breaking my heart so once the business started going under, I gave up on dating. Once I’ve got things under control, I’ll consider the dating scene again. In the meantime, the odd one night stand will do for me.

  “Can I get you another beer?” Even over the din of the pub, her voice is breathy. I can sympathize. I feel the same in her presence. A little like she’s sucked the air from the room. Almost lightheaded. It’s fucking inconvenient. I’m meant to be trying to find a way into her life so I can hunt down the money, not be considering how damned hot she is.

  Her eyes seem enormous under the bar lights. It adds to her whole mystique and teases the curious side of me. With chocolate brown hair, golden skin, a ton of dark eye make-up and a Celtic tattoo around one arm, she looks like a bad girl. And I know she is. Good girls don’t steal fifty k and run away from home. But the innocence in those eyes—which are a greeny hazel in this light I think—is throwing me off my game.

  Just my luck she happens to be my bank advisor too. What kind of joke is that? The bank worker who has stolen thousands. Maybe she’s planning to rob the place or something. I warm to the idea. That makes sense. Steal some bank details and go on the run. My hunch she was hanging around to make some more money might be right. The only problem is that means she’s a smart criminal and that will make my job much harder.

  I study the arch of her neck and follow it down to the curves under her black Murphy’s tee. The bar hides her legs but I’ve watched her go back and forth enough times to have caught sight of her endless legs, clad in fishnet tights. Her rear encased in tight denim shorts will remain forever emblazoned in my mind.

  “Hunter?”

  I snap my gaze up and force myself to focus on her eyes. “Yeah, sure. Get yourself a drink too.”

  She shakes her head. “I’m good, thanks.”

  Jess turns and bends to grab a beer from the fridge. I curl my fist and press it to my mouth. Desire wraps itself tightly around my insides and pulls them tight. When she turns back to me and hands over the chilled bottle, I take a quick drink and fight the urge to press the bottle to my head. Or my crotch. Which is where all the heat is taking residence right now.

  “Are you going to let me get you a drink when you finish?” I pass over a note and wave off the change.

  “I don’t really drink.”

  “A coke then?”

  “I don’t think that’s a good idea.” She glances around the bar, her silver earrings swinging against her neck, making me want to lick a path up it. “I’ve got to get back to work.”

  Lifting my beer to her, I nod. “I’ll be here.”

  She rewards me with a returning nod and an uncertain smile as she tucks her hair behind her ear and serves the waiting customers. I try not to watch but it’s hard not to. Every moment is like a fucking drug to me. The way she moves her hips, how she leans across the bar. I can’t quite figure out when I became so obsessed with just watching her. Perhaps at the bank when I saw her in that cute little suit, her hair all prim, or when she leant across slightly to reveal a hint of cleavage that had my mouth watering. Maybe she did more damage than I realized when she swung the door at me.

  I grip my beer. Shit, what an idiot. This is a job. I’m going to have to keep repeating that to myself. Find the money. That’s my goal. It is not to fall for whatever game Jess has going on. Whatever it is, it’s a smart one. All the wide-eyed looks and tight reserve. If it wasn’t for her shady past, I’d believe her to be totally innocent.

  Everything about her—her sweet voice, stammered words and blushing cheeks—goes against her hot rocker look. This has definitely piqued my interest. In a professional way, of course. As a P.I. I look beneath the surface, see things that others don’t. I see something in Jess. I’m just not sure what it is.

  My phone vibrates in my pocket and my stomach sinks. I pull it out and release a breath when I see who it is. Mitch

  “Yeah?”

  “Where are you?”

  “On a job,” I say tightly.

  “That mystery job?”

  “Yeah, that’s the one.” I press my finger to my ear as peal of feminine laughter rings out behind me. Truth is, I should have been done with this job long ago and I need this big payday. It was meant to be simple. Track down the money she stole, hand over the details to the client and get paid. That was the
idea.

  Problem is, all other paths have come to a dead end. I need to go to the source.

  Jess Callahan.

  “Doesn’t sound like you’re working. Connor is gonna be pissed you blew us off for a woman.”

  I hear laughter in Mitch’s voice. I was meant to be shooting pool with them. “I haven’t blown you off for a woman.” My gaze drifts to Jess. “It’s just a job.”

  She goes on tiptoes to grab a glass from the top shelf behind the bar, affording me a peek at that tight ass and I grit my teeth. Just a job, just a job, just a job.

  “Can’t take one night off?” Mitch asks.

  “You know I can’t, buddy.”

  “Yeah, yeah, I know.”

  Mitch knows all about the crap my ex-partner, Richie, put me through. We’ve been friends since we both trained to be bodyguards and we don’t have secrets. Not many at least. But while Mitch thrived on the routine, I itched for something more. So I went on to train as a P.I. and met Richie. We shadowed the same guy for a while—my mentor, Franklin—until we decided to go into business together. What a mistake that was.

  “The cops will catch up with him soon,” Mitch says.

  I snort. “Doubt that. He’s probably on some tropical island enjoying spending my money.”

  “You’ll find him if the cops don’t. You’re the best investigator I know.”

  I snort again. I can’t even find this client’s money and the suspect is right in front of me. I’ve been off my game since Richie did a runner with the business savings. Which was pretty much every penny I have.

  Mitch says something else but I can barely hear him over the woman behind me laughing. That, and Jess comes around from behind the bar and I get distracted. She glances my way and a cautious smile teases her lips. She’s warming to me. Seeing her all coy and sweet doesn’t seem to do anything to calm my need for her. In fact, it increases it. Is it just because she’s mysterious and shit? God knows I love a mystery. Maybe that’s it.

  Yeah, I’m just curious. I just wish my cock understood that. I fight the need to adjust my jeans and instead I throw back the rest of my beer in a bid to distract myself from those endless legs. Endless legs that I would kill to have wrapped around my hips.

  I slap a palm to the bar. Godammit.

  Rowdy male voices pierce the din of the room, drawing my attention back to Jess. She’s serving a table of five guys, all drunk and eyeing her like she’s a bit of meat and they’re starving dogs. I clench my jaw and curl my hand into a fist. I don’t care that I’ve just been looking at her the same way. They have no right, they don’t even know her. Not that I do, but still….

  That’s another puzzle. Why is a thief working at a pub for crappy tips and putting up with this shit? I can only figure she’s got something big planned. Why else would she be hanging around in London with her uncle’s money?

  One of the men makes a grab for her and I nearly jump off the bar stool but she sidesteps him and says something. I grin at his affronted face as his friends laugh. Clearly Jess is more than a coy smile and hot body. She’s got balls too.

  But as she turns away, the guy lunges for her. He’s big—bordering on overweight—and he hauls her back easily by her wrist. I don’t wait around. I’m on my feet and at her side by the time he’s tugged her into him. He has his hands wrapped around her, pinning her arms to her side as he tries to turn her around to face him. Jess fights him but she’s no match for his thick arms. I don’t even think about it. My skin is warm, my heart pounding. I want to tear the guy’s face off. Each breath comes hot and heavy. I grab Jess’s shoulder at the same time as I plough a fist into the man’s face. Something crunches and pain jars through my knuckles.

  Jess stumbles into me and I shove her back as the guy reels from my punch. Clutching a bloody nose, he rights himself and his friends are on their feet, vying for a fight.

  Before they get the chance, several bouncers step in. The guy with the mashed nose says something about Jess being a whore and rage pounds through me again.

  Jess tries to tug me away. “Leave it. Please!”

  I can’t help it. I shove through the two men blocking my way and lunge for the blond guy again, shoving him to the ground and knocking over a bar chair. Wood crunches and glass smashes. Blondie struggles against me and probably gets in a few hits, but I don’t notice them. I smash a fist into his cheek, then his gut until someone much larger than me pulls me off and drags me away.

  I fight the security guard but the sight of the blond guy curled up on the floor cools my anger a little and I let the bouncer drag me outside. He releases me and shoves me back from the bar door.

  “Stay out, do you hear?” he says, eyeing me to see if I’ll make a move.

  “Sure.” I put a hand to my head and feel stickiness, telling me I’ve cut myself somehow. “Just let me—”

  Jess shoves past the bouncer. Her eyes are wide and she props her hands on her hips. “What the hell did you think you were doing?”

  Well this is unexpected. I thought she’d be grateful to me, not pissed. “Saving your backside I thought.”

  “I don’t need you to save my backside. I definitely don’t need you to start beating up customers!”

  I shake my head and turn away. Screw this. This woman is messing with my head too much. I do not need this shit. I don’t get angry often. Rarely, in fact, and I don’t fight. The job means I have to stay fit but as exciting as being an investigator sounds, I don’t get myself into trouble.

  “Fuck’s sake, Hunter, are you trying to make me lose my job?”

  I whirl around, heart pounding. “How can you just let those guys behave like that?”

  Her jaw tenses. “I don’t enjoy it, but it happens. It’s just part of the job.”

  “It’s fucking sexual harassment, that’s what it is. Don’t you have any respect for yourself?”

  Jess’s expression shutters and her eyes go suddenly cold. She folds her arms across her chest. “I have plenty of respect for myself, thank you very much. I don’t enjoy the attention, if that’s what you think.”

  “I could damn well tell you weren’t en—”

  “But this is my job and you are… you’re no one. What gives you the right to come barrelling in, behaving like a Neanderthal?”

  She’s right. I am no one to her. What right do I have to get angry over some guy touching her? I curl my hand into a fist. Just because I’m trying to find a way into her life, it doesn’t give me any rights over her. In my mind, I see that asshole’s hands everywhere. Stroking her beautiful skin, her thighs, her breasts.

  I’ve been following her for too long, that’s it. She’s fucking with my head. I’ve spent so long just watching her that I feel like I have some kind of say in her life. Damn, I need to get out of here. I debate her, noting the rapid rise and fall of her chest and the lifted chin. My body tenses. There’s something about her all fired up and angry that is a hell of a turn on.

  I inhale slowly. “I have no right. I know that. Doesn’t mean I liked seeing it though,” I say tersely.

  “You don’t have to like it.” Jess props her hands on hips. “No one else in the bar cared. You didn’t see them threatening to break someone’s neck over a harmless grope.”

  “Harmless? Jess, you may think you’re not worth anything, but I’m not going to stand by and watch a woman be treated that way.”

  “Yeah, well you’re the only one.”

  “I won’t apologize for behaving like a gentleman,” I snap.

  Both brows rise and she crosses her arms across her chest. “Is that what that was? Behaving like a gentleman? Because it looked to me like you were acting like… like…”

  “Say it.”

  “Like a fucking jilted lover.”

  Godammit. Now I’ve got visions of all the things I would do to her if I really were her lover. I can just imagine peeling off that tight t-shirt, taking down those little shorts. Tearing into her tights. Feeling that warm skin against mine. Tasti
ng it. I hold back a groan and focus on her blazing eyes. And not on the way the street lights highlight her slightly golden skin, or brings out tiny blonde streaks in her hair.

  “You know what, it’s too much. Just back off, please.”

  I stiffen. What the hell?

  “Just because I’m handling your account and you come to the bar a lot doesn’t mean we’re friends. And just because I—”

  “Hit me in the head with a door?”

  “I said I was sorry! Look, I think you should find somewhere else to drink from now on. The regulars won’t welcome you back.”

  Christ, if I’d been thinking with my head instead of my cock, I would have played this whole thing better. I am better than this. Problem is, if I’m not following her or spending time with her, she’s all I think about. I have been acting crazy. And I’m just about to screw up the best paying case of my life. I need to salvage this. Fast.

  “I’m not going anywhere.” I take a step forward and see the flutter of panic in her eyes. “I like you.

  “Hunter—” Her hands land on my chest as I come closer. If I glance down will I see smoke rising? As it feels as though her palms must be singeing a hole in my shirt. I don’t even want to think about how hot and hard my cock is.

  “I don’t know why, Jess, but I can’t stop thinking about you…”

  At some point I’ve stopped lying. Shit, what is it about this woman that makes me lose control of my mouth?

  “Well, I don’t like you,” Jess declares.

  ”Sure about that?” I murmur as I lower my head.

  She looks up at me, the whole deer caught in the headlights expression on her face, and I feel gratified she’s as lost as I am. If I don’t get to taste those lips, I’m going to go insane. I need to know.

  “Just one taste,” I whisper against her lips.

  She nods. I think. Well, she doesn’t move. Jess seems to be frozen but her fingers dig into my chest and I take that as the go ahead. I skim my lips over hers and dart my tongue out to sample the seam of her lips. She tastes so good. My body is on fire with need. Hands landing on her hips, I hold her close and pin her forcefully against me. She gasps, giving me the opportunity to take her mouth in a deep, desperate kiss. Her tongue meets mine and I close my eyes so I can concentrate on the sensation.