Surrender to Me

by Alexis Noelle

  When Becca looks back she puts two and two together. She looks up at me and I can see that she’s hurt, pissed, or maybe a little bit of both. She breaks free of my hold and starts to walk toward the exit. Shit, I fucked up.

  I run up next to her and pull her into my dressing room as we’re passing it. Thank God it’s empty. “Becca, wait…please.”

  “What do you need, Luke? I don’t know what you want, but I refuse to be a pawn in your game.” She reaches for the doorknob but I stop her.

  “Listen, Becca, I know I was an asshole and I’m sorry. You aren’t a pawn and I’m not playing a game. I guess I just wanted Jackson to know that you’re off limits; he and I do not have a good relationship. I don’t want him to think that you’re available.”

  She looks up at me and seems confused. “You know, he asked me if we were involved and I really didn’t know what to say. I told him that we were hanging out and I deflected any advances he made. The thing is, though, that I don’t know where we stand. I mean, we went out to dinner tonight and I had a great time, but like I said before, how far can it really go?”

  I knew that asshole was going to try and make a move on her as soon as I saw him next to her. She was right, though; would we be able to make anything work? “I know that if we choose to try this thing out it won’t be easy, Becca. I’m willing to try, though, because there’s just something about you that I can’t stay away from. I want to be able to call you mine and have assholes like Jackson know it. I want you at all my shows, and I want to be able to look forward to going home with you afterward. What do you think? Do you want to give it a try?”

  I can see her processing everything I just said, and I was holding my breath waiting for her answer. “Yes.” She opens her mouth to say more but I don’t give her the chance. I crush my mouth to hers and press her against the door. Her fingers dig into my hips and I know she is just as into this as I am.

  “Stay with me tonight?”

  “I still don’t think that’s a good idea, Luke.”

  “Why not?” I hope she doesn’t think this is just a one-night stand. I mean, I asked her to be with me but that doesn’t mean I want her in my bed any less, either.

  Moving away from me she goes to sit on the couch. She looks nervous and I have no idea why. I go over and sit next to her but don’t touch her. “I’m not like the girls that you’re used to.”

  “I know that, Becca, I knew it yesterday. That’s one of the things that makes me want to have something more with you, I can tell you’re different.” She didn’t throw herself at me like most girls do, and she also doesn’t kiss my ass.

  “That’s not what I mean. I just need you to understand that…I know you have a lot of experience. I’m not one of those girls, Luke. As much as I’m attracted to you I’m not going to sleep with you right away, either. If I stay with you tonight I know that you’re going to have expectations and I’m not ready to meet them.”

  I expected the fact that she was turning me down to make me mad or at least disappoint me, because I know a lot of girls like to play hard to get. I’m surprised that the reason she’s saying no is because she doesn’t want to just be another number. The truth is that it only makes me want and like her more. I like the fact that she isn’t easy and it gives me peace of mind that there haven’t been a lot of other guys before me. She’s looking at me and it’s then that I realize I haven’t responded to her yet. “I would never pressure you into something you aren’t ready for, Becca. I respect the fact that you don’t want to be ‘just another girl’, and if it eases your mind at all, I don’t see you like that. I would still like to hang out with you tonight, but if you’re uncomfortable with it, I understand.”

  When she looks at me I can see uncertainty in her eyes, but I’m silently praying she’ll say yes. “Okay, but I’ll need to stop by the house and grab some clothes.”

  “No problem, I need to shower anyway. Do you want to call your sister while I’m getting ready?”

  She nods her head and pulls out her phone. I bend down to give her a kiss and smile at the fact that now she’s mine.

  Rebecca

  Why the hell did I say yes? There is no way that he’s going to be okay with just kissing, and there is absolutely no way I’m ready to do anything else with him. I’m such an idiot, but when he’s so close to me it’s like my head gets all cloudy. I can barely form a coherent thought much less actually make important decisions. I need to call Jen either way because I’ve already stupidly agreed to this.

  “Hey girl! How’s the night with the rock star going?”

  “Ugh, you have no idea. Listen, I need a favor. I told Luke that I would stay with him tonight but I need clothes and he thinks I live at your house. Can I borrow a change of clothes for the night?”

  “You’re staying with him tonight?! Holy Lord, you’re gonna lose it to Lucas Masterson!”

  “Jen, shut the hell up. I am not losing anything tonight and I made that perfectly clear to him.”

  “Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever you say. I’m actually on my way out but I’ll pack you a bag and leave it by the door, okay?”

  “Thanks so much, Jen, you’re a lifesaver”

  “You’re very welcome, hoe bag, but don’t think you’re getting out of telling me all the nitty gritty details.”

  “I wouldn’t dream of it.” Just then the bathroom door opens and Lucas steps out dressed in a fresh t-shirt and jeans. His hair is still wet and I want to lick the droplets of water running down his neck. What the hell? Where did that come from? See, this is exactly why this boy is not good for me—one day with him and I start sounding like a sex-crazed maniac. “Thanks Jen, I’ll talk to you later.” I hang up before I hear her response and try to avert my gaze from Luke until I can gain control of myself.

  “Did your sister say yes?”

  Sister? Oh right, Jen. I feel horrible about keeping up with this lie right now but I really don’t want to tell him it’s not true. He’ll probably be pissed that I lied in the first place and he might even want to meet my mom. That would be a horrible thing considering she’s a shell of a person who only knows how to drink, do drugs, and push buttons on the TV remote. Besides, I’m only lying about my last name, it’s not really that important, right? “Yeah, she said she’s going to leave a bag by the door for me.”

  He smiles at me and I get goose bumps all over again. How the hell am I going to have a relationship with him if I can’t even look at him? “Ready?”

  “As I’ll ever be.”

  Before he opens the door he grabs a baseball hat and puts it on my head. I look up at him as if to ask him what he’s doing. “While your hair looks very nice tonight, there’s a good chance there will be paparazzi outside. I figure you aren’t ready to make your debut, yet.” When we walk out to the car, the parking lot is mostly empty, except for about four or five photographers waiting around. Once they see us they run over and the flashes start going off. I squeeze Luke’s hand tighter and he tells me to just keep my head down and he will lead me to the car.

  They’re shouting questions at us; some are inappropriate while others are completely normal. I know they want me to look up so they can get a shot of my face but that isn’t going to happen. I guess if I do commit to this life with Luke it’s something I’m going to have to get used to. Once we get to the car, I jump in quickly and continue to keep my head down, waiting anxiously for when we are finally away from them. Luke dives into the car and starts driving as soon as he can get the car in gear. Once we’re away from the stadium and he realizes there isn’t anyone following us he relaxes a little bit.

  I still have the hat on; unsure of whether I should even bother taking it off. Before I can ask, Luke reaches over and takes it off for me. We’re at a stoplight and I look over at him. “So, how are you after that?”

  I can see the apprehension in his face and hear it in his voice. It’s almost as if he’s expecting me to say I can’t deal with it and that I’m done. If I was smart that’
s probably what I would’ve said, but I’m not and it isn’t. “I’m not going to lie to you and say that I liked it. I’m dealing with it, though, and I imagine it probably gets easier.”

  “Um…not really. I still haven’t gotten used to it; I’m a very private person, which is not consistent with what I chose to do with my life. The thing is, I love what I do. Music is something that’s been inside my soul since I can remember, and this unfortunately comes along with it. There are a lot of things in my life that go on that I can’t stand, but the one thing that always makes it worth it is the music and the fans. I’ve had so many people in the business try to use me and take advantage of me, which is why I can be apprehensive at times. I’ve been burned a lot and I’m very aware of not going down that road again.”

  We pull up in front of Jen’s house and I turn to him. “So then why were you so quick to trust me?”

  “I told you earlier that there is just something about you, Becca. It’s like I’m pulled to you, and I could tell from the beginning that you didn’t care at all about who I am or what I can do for you.”

  I smile because what he just said couldn’t be more true. I walk up to the house, open the door, and see Jen’s cheetah print duffel bag sitting there. Thank God for her. I pick up the bag, thinking it’s a little heavy for an overnight bag, but Jen always believes that a girl needs choices.

  When I get back to Luke’s car he smiles at me. “How much do you need for overnight?”

  I laugh. “My sister is much more high maintenance than me; these are probably just the necessities for her.”

  When we get to the Four Seasons, Luke has to swipe his room card just to be able to get to the floor where his suite is. That’s how you know someone has money—when the normal people aren’t even allowed access to the floor. He’s in the Liberty Suite and when we walk in my mouth drops to the floor. It’s like a house! There’s a black leather couch and two matching chairs set up like living room, a dining room with a full sized table with four chairs and a little desk area that could be like an office. I’ve never been in any hotel room like this. Right away, I become extremely aware of Luke’s presence behind me. My whole body breaks out in goose bumps again from the feel of his breath on my neck. He leans down to whisper in my ear, “You know, eventually you’ll have to walk all the way in.”

  Shit, I’m still standing here gawking like some dumb idiot! I walk forward but find myself almost tip-toeing, not wanting to mess up the pristine carpet. Luke walks in front of me and disappears around a corner. I follow him, wondering what the heck the rest of the place looks like. When I turn the corner, I find myself in the bedroom and see that Luke is sitting on the bed taking off his boots. The bedroom is pretty simple, except it has probably the biggest bed I’ve ever seen. You could probably fit an entire four-person family in it and still be comfortable.

  I see that he put my bag down on the end table and walk over to it. “I’m going to get changed.”

  He looks up at me. “Okay, the bathroom’s right there.”

  When I walk into the bathroom I see it’s just as gorgeous as the rest of the room. Everything is marble with a huge tub, big glass shower and big counter with two sinks. I can’t imagine living like this every day; doesn’t it get overwhelming? I put my bag down on the counter, unzip it and immediately want to scream. I start looking through the bag praying that these aren’t the only pajamas that Jen packed for me. I’m going to strangle her.

  The bag is filled with more than enough clothes for a week, and all of the pajamas are Jen’s silk nighties—no shirts or shorts—just nighties that will make me look like I really do want to sleep with him tonight. I pull out my phone to text her.

  Me: What the hell is up with all the clothes, and where are all the pajamas?

  Jen: You said he was in town for a week, girl, so that’s how long I packed you for. All of the pajamas that you’ll need are in there.

  Me: He never asked me to stay for the whole week! And these are not pajamas, they’re nighties that could almost pass for lingerie!

  Jen: I know he hasn’t asked you to stay for the whole week, yet. Once he sees you in your “pajamas” though I bet he will! I’m on a date now and even though he isn’t as scrumptious as yours I need to get back to him. I would say be good, but I really don’t want you to be! Love you hoe! Hopefully I won’t see you for a week!

  Kill. Me. Now.

  Chapter Four

  Lucas

  I’m sitting on the bed waiting for Becca to come out, trying to figure out what’s taking her so long. I know that girls take a while to get ready some times, but she doesn’t strike me as one of those girls. When she walks out of the bathroom she takes my breath away. She has on a little dress thing that’s pink with thin little straps and it seems to cup her breasts and make them look even better. It stops about mid-thigh, and I can already feel myself getting hard. She told me earlier that she didn’t want to have sex tonight, but her outfit seems to say something different.

  When I look back at her face I can see that she’s blushing. “Sorry I took so long; my sister didn’t pack me any normal pajamas. This must be her idea of a cruel joke.”

  Or a fucking present. I stand up and walk over to her, placing my hands on her hips and loving the feel of the silk beneath my hands. I slowly circle my thumbs, massaging her hips and trying to contain the urge to throw her onto the bed. “I think you look fucking gorgeous.” Her eyes snap up to mine and I lower my head, capturing her mouth before she can reply. I love how soft her lips are and she always tastes so good.

  I hear her bag drop to the ground as her hands find their way around my neck. If she really doesn’t want to have sex tonight I need to try to stop now, because I’m pretty sure that if this goes any further I won’t be able to back things up. I pull back and rest my forehead against hers, both of us breathing heavy. Running my hand up her side, I feel her shiver beneath my touch. When I reach her face, I brush her hair back behind her ear and give her lips one more soft kiss.

  “Listen, Luke, I know I told you that I didn’t want anything to happen tonight, and this outfit doesn’t really go along with that. I don’t want you to feel like I’m trying to mess with you or anything, but I really have nothing else to sleep in.”

  “If you want a t-shirt and shorts you can always borrow something of mine.” I only offer because I can tell how uncomfortable she is and I know I won’t be able to keep my hands—or other things—off of her. “Don’t get me wrong, I think you look amazing, but I don’t want you to be self conscious all night.”

  “Um, that might actually be a good idea.” I walk over to my suitcase, grab one of my shirts and a pair of boxer shorts and toss them her way. “Thanks.”

  She disappears back into the bathroom and comes out a few minutes later wearing my clothes. I would love to say that her changing helped my hard on, but it would be a lie. Now she’s walking around the room in my clothes, and I feel like I have almost, in a way, staked my claim.

  “So are you tired from the show tonight?”

  I look over at her sitting Indian-style on the bed. “No, not really. It usually takes me a couple hours to wind down after a show. Do you want to watch a movie or something?” I can think of a lot more things I’d like to do with her than watch a movie, but I’m trying my best to be good.

  “Sure.” She crawls up to the head of the bed and sits next to me. I turn to look at her and all I can think about is kissing her again. I want to constantly be touching her; I feel like whenever I do, things are just better. I scoot closer to her and put my arm around her shoulders while simultaneously pulling her down so her head is resting on my chest. I flip through the channels aimlessly but nothing catches my eye so I just turn it off. When I do, Becca looks up at me with a question in her eyes.

  “If I’m being honest, I have no interest in TV right now.” She smiles at me but still appears to be uncomfortable. “I’m actually a little hungry, how about you?”

  “Yeah, a little bit
. Do you want me to go grab something?”

  “No, I was just going to order from room service. That okay?”

  She nods and I get up to find the menu. We decide on getting dessert; it’s so nice to be with a girl who actually eats. We order cake and ice cream and it makes me laugh because I feel like such a kid right now.

  My phone starts to ring and I see that it’s my mom. I figure I might as well answer or she’ll keep calling until I do. We talk for a few minutes, but the food soon arrives and I have to end the call. We decide to eat in bed, even though there’s a huge table in the other room. Once we’re settled I decide I want to know more about her. “So, tell me your story, Becca Carmichael.”

  Rebecca

  He wants to know about me and I really have no idea what to say. I overheard part of his conversation with his mom; he was talking to her about an old friend of his. I don’t really know the story, but I did hear him say to his mom that there was no way he would ever be close to him again because he despises liars.

  In my defense, I really didn’t lie on purpose. Luke assumed my last name was Carmichael and that Jen is my sister. Granted, I never told him it wasn’t true but what was I supposed to do now? I have two choices: I can either come clean and risk him kicking me out of his room and never get the chance to know him, or I can go along with the story and hope for the best. It’s not like we’re going to be together forever.

  I opt for the latter decision. “My life is actually pretty boring and normal.” I wish. “My mom is a lawyer and my dad is a surgeon. You’ve met Jen and she’s just as crazy as she seems. I love kids, which is why I decided to go into education. Oh, and apparently I need to pay more attention to pop culture, that way the next time a famous singer asks me to help him jump his car I won’t treat him like a creeper.”