Surrender to Me

by Alexis Noelle

  I don’t realize how tired I am until we get into the car, and at some point on the ride home I fall asleep. The next time I open my eyes, I’m in his arms and he’s walking us into the hotel room.

  I relax and let myself mold into his chest, realizing that I already never want to leave.

  Chapter Five

  Lucas

  When we’d pulled up to the Faire today, I had my doubts that it would ever be something I might be into, but I think this has been one of the best days I’ve had in a while. I know it has everything to do with a Becca; this girl is so different from anyone I have ever met before. She has a positive outlook on everything and tries to make the best of every situation.

  I couldn’t seem keep my hands off of her all day, either; I found myself just needing to be able to touch her in some way all the time. As I’m carrying her up to the hotel room, the only thoughts in my head are what I want to do to her when we go to bed. It’s going to be so hard for me to try and control myself, but I also don’t want to push her into something that she isn’t ready for. She starts to wake up and then settles back into me. I never intended to really fall for her; I was just intrigued by her. I know after today, though, that there is no way I’m going to let her go. I’m determined to make her mine in every way possible.

  I know that if I have any chance of convincing her to stay with me—maybe even come on tour for the rest of the summer with me—I can’t pressure her too much for anything. I walk into the bedroom and put her down on the bed. As she stretches, her sun dress moves up her thighs, slowly torturing me by revealing more of her perfect skin. She opens her eyes and smiles up at me. Before I jump on top of her I turn away and head over to my bag. Grabbing a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, I walk over and sit down on the bed. “I thought you might want something to sleep in again.”

  She sits up, looks at the clothes in my hand and smiles. “Okay, I’ll go get changed.” When she walks into the bathroom, I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding. How the hell am I going to sleep next to her all night and not touch her the way that I desperately want to? She walks back into the bedroom, dressed in my clothes, and it turns me on even more. I’m still sitting on the edge of the bed when she walks over to stand in front of me. “I just wanted to say thank you for today. I had such a wonderful time.”

  I place my hands on her hips and close the distance between us. I’m so much taller than her that even with me sitting on the bed I’m almost eye level with her. I want to say something to her, maybe even tell her how I’ve been feeling all day, but I can’t take my eyes off her lips. I lean in and crush my mouth to hers, needing her with every ounce of my being.

  She wraps her arms around my neck and pulls me closer to her. I move my mouth to her neck, needing to taste her the way that I’ve wanted to all day. I kiss and nip my way down her neck until I get to my shirt that she’s wearing. I want to lift it over her head, throw her on the bed and make her mine over and over again. I know that if I do that now I risk losing her, and there is no way in hell I’m willing to risk that right now.

  I pull back from her neck, give her another kiss on the lips and rest my forehead against hers. She opens her eyes and we just stay there, staring at each other. I can see the uncertainty in her eyes and it reinforces everything that just went through my head. “I’m going to go get ready for bed, okay?”

  She nods her head and slowly unwraps her arms from my neck. I get up and walk into the bathroom, hoping that a very cold shower will help me calm down a little bit, although that’s pretty doubtful.

  Rebecca

  I don’t know why this whole thing is so hard for me. I want Luke; every time he touches me it’s like my whole body is on fire. He was so amazing today and he makes me feel like he actually cares. There’s still something in the back of my mind that’s telling me not to jump into this.

  My mom developed quite a reputation after my dad left. She got into drugs and sex, which seemed to spread around the neighborhood pretty quickly. I had guys all through high school that constantly assumed I would be as easy as she was. Ever since then, I swore to myself that I would never let myself be used like she did. I know that Luke doesn’t want to just use me; I can see it in his eyes. Something just doesn’t feel right, though, and I’m not sure what it is. I’m not saying that I’m one of those girls who wants to hold out for marriage, but I’m just not ready yet. As crazy as this is, the fact that he’s okay with waiting for me is only making me want him more.

  His smell envelopes me as I climb under the sheets and close my eyes. I feel like I’m in a dream and will wake up at any moment. The bed dips and I look over to see Luke climbing in beside me. He stretches out his arm and smiles at me. I scoot over, lay my head on his chest and drape my arm around him. As I’m drifting off to sleep, I pray that something goes right—just once in my life—because I can really get used to having Luke next to me.

  *****

  This week with Luke has gone by so fast and the fact that he’s leaving today makes me want to cry. We spent every day together; we’ve gone hiking, fishing, out to dinners, and a bunch of other fun things. He makes me feel like I’m the only person in the world that matters and is constantly touching me in one way or another. I already know I’m starting to fall for him and the fact that he’s now going to be thousands of miles away is killing me.

  I hear the shower turn off and realize that our time together is just about up. Wiping my eyes, I try to put on the best “happy” face I can. I can’t make him feel bad for leaving; I knew all along that he was going to have to leave. I walk over to the window and look out at the city I grew up in, wishing to be anywhere else so that I don’t have to say goodbye to him.

  Luke comes up behind me, wraps his arms around my waist and rests his chin on my shoulder. I lean back against him and turn my head to give him a kiss. “You okay, babe?”

  Okay? No, I’m not okay. I won’t tell him, though; this is his job and he has to go. “Yeah.” I give him another kiss and he turns me around to face him. Lifting me up by my hips and placing me on the windowsill, he moves in between my legs. The sexual tension between us all week has been almost unbearable. Can I really handle doing this with him now just to say goodbye to him? I know I’ll regret it if I let him slip through my fingertips. The way that he’s kissing me right now makes me want to throw all my fears out the window and surrender myself to him. Just as I’m about to tell him I’m ready he pulls away and says the last thing I ever expected him to.

  “Come with me.” My mouth drops open and all I can do is stare at him. Is he really serious?! Can I leave town and go on tour with someone I’ve only known for a week? “Becca, before you say no, please just think about it. I know you’ve felt something between us this week…stay with me. Give us a chance and let’s see where this thing takes us. I swear that if you aren’t happy, I won’t make you stay and I’ll even help you get back home, as much as I know I won’t want to.” He grabs my face with both of his hands and crushes his mouth to mine. I can feel the desperation and need in his kiss.

  When he pulls back again, I look into his eyes. I’m lost. I know this is too fast, and that we barely know each other but I really don’t care. “Okay.”

  He grabs me and pulls me into his arms, and instinctively, I wrap my legs around his waist. “Are you sure?”

  I nod my head. “Yes, I’m sure.” He’s spinning me around in a circle, and when he bumps into the bed, we fall onto it. Now I’m sitting on top of him—straddling him—and wondering what I’ve just gotten myself into. Then something hit me, I never told him the truth about my family. I can’t leave with him without him knowing. He must have noticed the change in my expression, because now he looks concerned.

  “What’s wrong?”

  Can I really tell him about the mess of a life that I’ve been living? Will he want to meet my mom? I don’t want to tell him, but at the same time I can’t leave with him believing a lie. I climb off of him and sit on the bed. “Luke, I
need to tell you something and I don’t know if you’re going to want me to come with you I tell you.”

  He sits up and lifts my face so that I’m looking at him. “What’s going on?”

  I stand up, not wanting to be so close to him when I tell him that I lied about who I am. “My last name isn’t Carmichael and Jen isn’t my sister. We’re just really good friends and where you picked me up really isn’t my house. I didn’t plan on lying to you, but on our first date you called me Rebecca Carmichael, and if I’m being honest, I’ve always wished I was a part of Jen’s family. The truth is, my dad left my mom when I was younger, and he died in a car accident soon after he left. My mom hasn’t really been around much since then. At least not mentally. I didn’t want you to pick me up at my house because I was embarrassed and I wanted to pretend for that night that I was a different person.” I take a deep breath, realizing I just rushed through all of that without breathing. “I would’ve told you sooner, but I didn’t know how you would react. I know I shouldn’t have lied to you and I’m sorry.”

  I look back at him and he’s watching me with a look I never wanted from anyone…pity. He walks over to me, the whole time never taking his eyes off of me. “Why didn’t you just tell me that night?”

  “I’m not sure, I mean, as far as I knew you weren’t going to be staying in town and I guess I just wanted to pretend I was a part of a normal family for once.”

  “Is there anything else?”

  Just the fact that I think I’m falling in love with you and if you leave me now I’m not sure what I’ll do. I shake my head no, not trusting my voice.

  He grabs my hand and pulls me closer to him so I’m standing right in front of him. “I’m not going to say that I like that you lied, but I understand why you did it. I just need you to know, Becca, that if there is anything else you need to tell me, tell me now, because lying is just something that I can’t deal with. I’ve been burnt by it too many times in the past.”

  “That’s the only thing, Luke, I promise, and I really am so sorry. I just got lost in us all week and completely forgot about it until you asked me to leave with you. If you don’t want me to go with you anymore, I completely understand why.”

  I close my eyes, praying that he still wants me to stay with him. When I feel his lips touch mine, I relax and wrap my arms around him.

  “The flight leaves at two; how much time do you need?”

  The smile on my face is so big that I think my cheeks might crack. “Um, I’ll text Jen and see if she can start getting some stuff together for me.”

  Me: So Luke, asked me to go on tour with him…

  Jen: OMFG! I knew that boy was hooked! I can’t believe this shit right now!

  Me: Are you out? Is there any way you can stop by the house and grab some of my stuff?

  Jen: Of course! I’ll meet you at my house in like an hour, bitch!

  “Jen’s going to start putting some of my stuff together.”

  He looks up at me and smiles. “Okay, babe. I just got a text from Mike asking if I can Skype with him and my agent to go over a couple of things and I need to get some other things straightened out. Will you be okay just taking the car to get your stuff from Jen? I should be ready when you’re done. If you want me to go with you, though, I will.”

  “No, it’s fine; I’ll call Jen and see if she can pick me up.”

  “No.” He stands up and grabs his keys from the dresser. “Just take my car.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yeah, don’t worry about it. Now go and get your stuff so you can get back here.” He smacks my butt and leans down to kiss me.

  I take my phone out to text Jen as I’m walking down to the car.

  Me: Hey Luke let me borrow his car. I’m heading over to your house now.

  Jen: Kk I stopped by your house and got some clothes. BTW Wyatt is super creepy.

  Me: Ugh! He is still there?

  Jen: Yes! Ewe! See you soon mama!

  The whole drive to Jen’s I feel like I’m just waiting to wake up. I can’t believe that this is all really happening to me. When I get there and go up to her room I see two huge suitcases on her bed and she’s randomly throwing different things from her closets into them. “Hey, what are you doing? I don’t have nearly enough clothes to fit in those, and unless you’re planning on being a stowaway, I don’t need half of your room.”

  She starts laughing and then looks at me. “If you thought I was sending you on tour for the summer with that rock god in your goodwill wardrobe, you’re even crazier than I thought. I got anything that was presentable from your house, and I’m filling in the rest of the lines. Half of this stuff I don’t even wear so don’t start getting all humble and saying you can’t take it.”

  I walk over to her and give her a hug; I really don’t know what I would do without her sometimes. “Thank you.”

  “Thank the Lord that you are not fighting me on this; I was ready for a brawl! Now, while I’m packing the rest of this stuff, I want to know everything.”

  I sit down on the bed and start to tell her about the most amazing week I’ve ever had in my life.

  Lucas

  “Have you lost your fucking mind?!”

  I knew that Mike wasn’t going to like me deciding to pursue this thing with Becca, especially the part about me bringing her on tour with me, but I didn’t think one person’s eyes could bug out so much. “Yes, I’m serious Mike. Why don’t you take a breath before you hurt something?” I laugh but then immediately regret it.

  “Take a breath?! My biggest client just called me and told me that he fell for some random girl and has decided to parade her all over the US with him on his biggest tour ever. It’s okay, though, because he has a good feeling about her.”

  I rub my hands up and down my face. I hate that I feel like I need to justify myself to him. “Listen, you can be pissed all you want, but it’s not gonna change anything. This is my damn life, and if I want her in it then that’s what I want. I’m sick of letting you and everyone else that works for me tell me how to live my life.”

  “I’m just trying to protect you, Lucas.” No, he’s just trying to protect his money. I’m not delusional; I know that no one who works for me actually gives a shit what I want. That’s why, in the end, their opinion doesn’t mean shit to me.

  “I’ll be fine Mike; I’ll see you tomorrow when we leave.” I slam the computer shut, pull out my phone and call someone that I know won’t have any ulterior motives.

  “Hey, Lucas! How was the week off?”

  “Hey, Dad, are you busy? I kinda need some advice.” My dad is one of the few people that I trust completely. People tend to screw you over in my line of work, so I learned early on not to confide in many of them.

  “No, I’m not busy. Your mother is cooking dinner and I’m banned from the kitchen as usual. What’s going on?”

  “So, I don’t know if I told you but I stayed in Philadelphia for my vacation.” I take a deep breath and hope he isn’t going to think I’m as nuts as everyone else does. “I met this girl, and she’s unlike anyone I’ve ever known before. We have this chemistry that I can’t even explain and I wanted to get to know her better. When it was time for me to leave for the tour again today, I didn’t want to, at least not alone. I asked her to come with me so that we can give this a chance and see where it goes.”

  “Before I tell you what I think, let me ask you one question, Lucas. This chemistry you say you have, is it just about the sex?”

  Having your dad ask you about your sex life would probably freak most people out, but we talk about stuff like this all the time. “That’s just it, Dad, we haven’t had sex yet.”

  “Okay, well then, let me tell you that I knew from the first day that I saw your mother that she was the one. She couldn’t stand me at first but I knew that what I felt was different. If you really feel a connection with this girl, Lucas, then go for it and screw anyone who has a problem with it.”

  The door to the room op
ens and Becca walks in smiling. My dad’s right; I can’t listen to anyone else, this is my life. “Thanks for the advice, Dad, I needed it.”

  “No problem, Lucas. I expect to meet this girl when you come see us in a couple of weeks.”

  “Definitely.” I hang up the phone and walk over to Becca, pulling her close to me and pressing myself against her. I lean down and kiss her, knowing that what my dad said to me was right; I may not know if she’s ‘the one’ yet, but there is definitely something here.

  She pulls back to look at me. “Is everything okay?”

  “It is now. You get all of your stuff?” I still have her pressed against the wall but I’m not ready to move yet.

  She lifts her hands around my neck and laces her fingers through my hair. “Yeah, I think so.”

  “Good, we need to leave for the airport in a half hour. Is that okay?” I can still see the apprehension in her eyes; she’s scared to take this leap with me. I’m sure now she’s thinking I’m definitely expecting something to happen with us. While it’s something that I can’t fucking wait for, I’m going to have to wait and not pressure her into anything.

  “Yeah, I’m actually starting to get excited.”

  “That makes two of us.” I lean down to give her a kiss before walking back into the bedroom to finish packing my stuff.

  During the ride to the airport I can tell Becca is still nervous; she’s barely talking and keeps staring down at her hands clenched in her lap. The driver pulls up to the terminal and I put my hand on her leg. “Hey, are you okay?”

  “Yeah, I just…I’ve never been on a plane before, and I guess I’m just nervous for everything.”

  I put my hand on her cheek and give her a kiss. “Everything will be fine, I promise. It’ll be just like it was this last week, except I’ll be doing shows every couple of nights. Come on.” I hold my hand out to her and lead her through the airport. When we’re finally settled on the plane and about to take off I can see her starting to get nervous again. Once the plane begins to move and speed up for takeoff, I kiss her. She opens her mouth to me and I slip my tongue in, letting the taste of her consume me. When I feel the plane level out I pull back.