When Dreams Tremble

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When Dreams Tremble Page 10

by Radclyffe


  Natalie laughed. “We’ll attract something, I suppose. Yes, let’s get more

  comfortable.”

  Once inside, Dev went to the tiny kitchen and reached into the cabinet over the

  sink for the brandy she’d stored there. Natalie’s arms came around her from

  behind and she felt the Þ rm press of Natalie’s breasts against her back. For just

  a second, she was back on the motorcycle with Leslie behind her. The

  memories were coming so hard and so fast in the last few days; she couldn’t

  seem to stop them from streaming through her mind. Things she hadn’t thought

  of in years felt as if they’d happened yesterday. She shivered.

  “Dev?” Natalie stepped back and waited for Dev to turn. She regarded Dev

  quizzically. “You just went somewhere, didn’t you?”

  “How did you know?”

  “I felt it.”

  “Sorry.”

  • 84 •

  WHEN DREAMS TREMBLE

  “Like I said. Dinner. And after that we’ll see.” Natalie held out her hand for the

  brandy. “Let’s go outside and toast the moon.”

  “Yeah,” Dev said. “Let’s do that.”

  “I probably should’ve asked this before now,” Natalie said as they sat side by

  side on the top step of Dev’s porch, “but are you involved with someone?”

  “No.”

  “On the serious rebound?”

  Dev laughed. “Not that either. I don’t get…seriously involved.”

  Natalie shifted sideways to look at Dev’s face. “Never?”

  “Nope. Just not my thing, I guess. I probably should’ve told you that before

  now.”

  “I don’t see why,” Natalie said, laughing. “We just had dinner.

  That’s not exactly grounds for posting the banns.”

  “Still, you should know.”

  “What I know,” Natalie said, setting her glass aside, “is that I like you and I like

  kissing you. That’s quite a lot for a week.”

  “I suppose it is,” Dev murmured as Natalie moved closer. Part of Dev’s mind

  yielded to the pull of the moon, and the warm fragrant breeze, and Natalie’s

  sweet, hot kisses. But deep inside, she remained remote and untouched. And it

  was that part of her that Þ nally pulled away. “You’re hard to resist.”

  “Do you want to?” Natalie’s voice was breathy and low.

  “Yeah. I think I better.”

  “I can think of a million arguments against that,” Natalie said, caressing the back

  of Dev’s neck. “Some of them, you might even buy. But”—she kissed Dev’s

  cheek—“it’s a long summer. Wanna walk me back to my car, or should I have

  another brandy and sleep on the couch?”

  “Is that a trick question?”

  Natalie laughed.

  v

  Leslie knew she should go inside. It was chilling fast, and even the blanket she’d

  pulled around herself when she curled up in the porch chair wasn’t keeping her

  warm. After parting with Dev in the parking lot that morning, she’d used the

  wireless connection at the lodge to download work from the ofÞ ce, and she’d

  kept busy for the rest of

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  RADCLY fFE

  the day and evening. She’d worked straight through dinner and Þ nally relaxed

  with a bottle of wine out on her porch. Dev’s cabin had been dark until after

  eleven, when the lights came on. A few minutes later she caught the murmur of

  conversation, although she couldn’t hear any words. However, she could make

  out the unmistakable sound of feminine laughter.

  She told herself that she was glad Dev had company and that she was feeling

  better. She meant it, too, at least part of it. When she heard the quiet thump of a

  door closing and the voices disappeared, she Þ nally dragged herself inside in

  search of sleep. Lying alone in the dark, images that she’d thought long ago

  expunged returned to haunt her.

  Half dragging Mike back to the boathouse while he raged and accused and she

  denied and pleaded. The ß eeting glimpse of Dev staggering to her bike and

  careening from the parking lot. The look of broken despair on Dev’s face.

  Leslie closed her eyes tightly as the frantic ß uttering in her chest stole what

  remained of her breath. Grief and guilt felt so much the same, she could no

  longer tell them apart.

  • 86 •

  WHEN DREAMS TREMBLE

  CHAPTER TEN

  Natalie was a light sleeper and the quiet movements across the room woke her.

  She turned on her side beneath the cotton blanket and watched Dev making

  coffee. She could have told her she was awake, but she was enjoying the

  opportunity to observe her. Dev wore a T-shirt that had seen better days—hell,

  better years—and a pair of faded plaid boxers. She was barefoot, and muscles

  rippled in her arms and thighs as she stretched and reached into cabinets. Her

  hair was wet from the shower and a shade darker than usual, slicked back

  behind her ears and curling in small tendrils over the back of her neck. Those

  delicate strands gave Dev an unexpectedly vulnerable look, and Natalie felt a

  dangerous stirring in her heart. The stirring in her loins that the sight of Dev

  always elicited didn’t bother her. Lust was a familiar and not unwelcome

  sensation. It assured her that her heart was beating and that all systems were

  functioning. If she’d looked at Devon Weber and felt nothing, she’d have been

  worried.

  However, what she did not want was to look at Dev and feel that little twisty

  sensation in the pit of her stomach and the tightening in the center of her chest

  that spoke not of lust, but longing. Especially not with the signals that Dev had

  been sending, which were not so much mixed as cloudy. Natalie sensed Dev’s

  attraction and her desire, but something held her back. Something that she was

  willing to bet Dev wanted very much but couldn’t, or wouldn’t, admit.

  I don’t get seriously involved, Dev had said.

  Maybe not now, but once she had. Natalie was certain of that.

  Somewhere, sometime, there had been a woman who had mattered.

  And whoever she had been, she’d left indelible marks.

  • 87 •

  RADCLY fFE

  There were other marks too. Ones she hadn’t expected. A series of scars

  crisscrossed Dev’s right thigh below her boxers, twisting as far down as her

  knee. The pale white rivulets were faded reminders of some distant injury, and

  Natalie ached to think of what might have caused them. She caught back a

  murmur of sympathy.

  Dev turned and smiled. “Hey. Good morning. Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake

  you.”

  Smiling back, Natalie consigned whatever history lay beneath those scars to the

  past. Dev was here now and looking very sexy.

  Natalie extended her arms over her head, arched her back, and stretched

  beneath the blanket with a contented purr. She was naked, and she could tell

  from the ß icker of Dev’s eyes down the length of her body and quickly back up

  to her face that the thin covering didn’t do a whole lot to camouß age her shape.

  “No problem. You’re a nice sight to wake up to.”

  “Can I tempt you with coffee?”

  “You can tempt me with just about anything.”

  Dev laughed. “I trust the couch and the
brandy left no ill effects?”

  “Not a one.” Natalie swiveled around to sit up, holding one corner of the

  blanket between her breasts. “I feel great.”

  Dev thought she looked great too. Her eyes and mouth were soft in the early

  morning light, her dark hair framing her face like an invitation.

  She was beautiful and warm and Dev wondered why she didn’t cross the room

  to her and lift the blanket away and accept what Natalie was offering.

  Tenderness and shared pleasure. Natalie had asked for no promises, made no

  demands.

  Maybe it was because Dev liked her, really liked her in a way that she rarely

  experienced because she seldom made close friends, that she didn’t. Shouldn’t

  she have something to offer too? Shouldn’t there be something more than

  desire?

  As if reading her mind, Natalie said quietly, “Sometimes things are enough just

  as they are, Dev.”

  Dev poured coffee into two white ceramic mugs with I ♥ Lake George on the

  side. “Black, right?”

  Natalie nodded.

  “Just in case you thought otherwise,” Dev said, setting Natalie’s coffee on the

  maple Americana end table beside the couch, “it’s not

  • 88 •

  WHEN DREAMS TREMBLE

  about you.” She leaned down and softly kissed Natalie. “I’m a little turned

  around these days. Sorry.”

  “Thanks for the coffee.” Natalie didn’t reach for her because she had a feeling if

  she pushed just a little harder than she had been, Dev would relent. And it

  wasn’t about having her. Not entirely. She wanted her, but not like that. Not

  when she knew something inside Dev would end up hurting more. “I understand,

  by the way. If you want a sounding board sometime, anytime, I’m available.”

  “Thanks, but it’s something that talking won’t change. Just some old stuff that

  needs to stay in the past, where it belongs.” She retrieved her own coffee and

  sipped. “I know the minute you drive away, I’ll feel like an idiot.”

  “Good. You should.” Natalie wrapped the blanket around herself and stood.

  “I’m going to take a shower. Do you have time to wait?”

  “Sure. They make a good breakfast at the lodge. How about it?”

  “I’ll be ready in Þ ve.”

  v

  Leslie awakened just before six, relieved to see the morning. The night had been

  Þ lled with fragmented dreams and disturbingly erotic half-formed images of

  making love with Rachel who became Dev who became Mike who became

  Leslie herself in an endless loop of increasingly frantic and unrequited desire.

  More distressing still, her body thrummed heavily with lingering arousal.

  Surprised, she traced her Þ ngers between her legs and discovered that she was

  wet. The ER

  doctor had clearly been right when he’d said hormones might be at the root of

  her heart and blood pressure problems, because something was deÞ nitely

  amiss with her body.

  While she enjoyed sex, it wasn’t something she ordinarily paid much attention

  to. Certainly thoughts of making love never occupied her conscious mind or

  disturbed her concentration. She couldn’t ever remember feeling as if she

  needed sex. When it occurred, it was a pleasurable interlude. Even on the

  infrequent occasions when she and Rachel spent the entire night together, she

  couldn’t recall waking aroused, not even with Rachel’s body against hers.

  Rachel particularly enjoyed sex in the morning, so they made love then, but

  Rachel always initiated it. Leslie apparently was a good partner, as Rachel

  always

  • 89 •

  RADCLY fFE

  seemed satisÞ ed. As for herself, Leslie found being intimate with Rachel

  pleasant, and she almost always achieved orgasm. And then it was over and she

  was free to focus on the things that did occupy her mind.

  She never woke up with the urge to be touched. Not like she had right now.

  “What I have,” Leslie muttered as she abolished the remaining pieces of the

  dream and headed for the shower, “is way too much time on my hands.”

  No wonder she never took vacations. She was mentally and physically

  completely out of sync. As she twisted on the shower knobs, she spoke aloud

  as if that would ensure results. “All that’s about to change. What I need is a trip

  to the ofÞ ce.”

  By 6:30 a.m., she was dressed in casual business attire—slacks and blouse and

  low heels. Briefcase in hand, she started along the path to the lodge, intent on

  regaining control of her life. When she ran into Dev and her overnight guest, she

  realized that her plan might turn out to be a bit more challenging than she

  anticipated. Dev’s companion had her arm loosely around Dev’s waist, and she

  looked relaxed and comfortable. ConÞ dent.

  Leslie greeted them both politely, surprised when Dev blushed.

  Natalie reintroduced herself, although Leslie remembered her name quite well.

  “Going to work?” Dev asked.

  “Yes,” Leslie said as they moved on as a group. She could have walked ahead,

  but why give the impression that anything about the situation bothered her? Dev

  had every right to entertain women in her cabin. Why should she care who

  Devon Weber slept with?

  “A working vacation?” Natalie asked pleasantly.

  “More like a working visit.” Hoping to divert attention from herself, Leslie

  asked, “How is the season going for you?”

  “It’s gotten off to a better start than most,” Natalie said, shooting a quick smile

  in Dev’s direction. “With the economy the way it’s been recently, we expect

  more people to opt for less expensive vacations. It’s getting busy and should

  stay that way all summer.”

  “Do you have time to join us for breakfast, Les?” Dev asked, slowing as they

  climbed the steps to the lodge.

  Leslie opened the door and held it while Natalie stepped inside.

  She glanced up at Dev, who hesitated in the doorway by her side. “No,

  • 90 •

  WHEN DREAMS TREMBLE

  thanks. I’m just going to grab some coffee and see if I can borrow my mother’s

  car. Hopefully, my father’s revived it.”

  “If not, you can take my truck.”

  “Thanks, I appreciate it, but I can always rent a car.”

  “The offer’s open anytime.” Dev glanced after Natalie, who had settled at a

  table on the far side of the room. “What about the other?”

  “The other?” Leslie frowned, then realized Dev was asking about her health and

  the yet-to-be-scheduled tests. “Oh. That. Just as soon as I check in with the ofÞ

  ce up here. I’m not really sure how long I’ll be staying, so if I don’t see you

  again, have a good summer.”

  “I got the impression you were going to be here a few weeks.”

  “The peace and quiet are starting to get to me.”

  “Leslie, if it’s me—”

  “It’s not you, Dev,” Leslie said sharply. How many more times could she let

  Dev accept the responsibility for the pain they couldn’t seem to stop causing one

  another? “Really. I need to get on the road before trafÞ c gets heavy.” She

  gestured toward Natalie with a slight tip of her chin. “Your friend is waiting.”

&n
bsp; Dev grabbed Leslie’s hand before she could move away. “Your mother has my

  cell phone number. Call me if you need my truck. Or anything.”

  Leslie closed her eyes and sighed. “Dev. You always were way too nice.”

  “Don’t worry. I’ve grown out of that.”

  “I don’t think so.” Gently, Leslie drew her hand away. “Take care, Dev.”

  Dev followed Leslie with her eyes as Leslie disappeared into the kitchen. After

  pouring a cup of coffee from the large urn on the sideboard, she joined Natalie.

  “Ready to hit the buffet?”

  “DeÞ nitely.” As they waited for the few people ahead of them to Þ ll their

  plates, Natalie said, “Looks like you and Leslie have history.”

  “We went to high school together. How did you know?”

  “You can always tell. The way you look at each other, the shorthand sentences.

  You know the sort of thing.”

  Actually, Dev didn’t. She hadn’t had any friends other than Leslie in high school,

  and since then, the people whose acquaintances she’d made were just that.

  Acquaintances. But she didn’t comment. She was thinking that Leslie looked

  even more run down and pale than she had

  • 91 •

  RADCLY fFE

  when she’d Þ rst arrived. And she was willing to bet money that Leslie wouldn’t

  schedule the tests that she was supposed to get.

  Just then, Leslie came out of the kitchen, travel mug in hand, and strode briskly

  through the dining room and out the front door. Dev wanted to go after her.

  Leslie had said she might be leaving soon. That thought left Dev feeling hollow,

  until she reminded herself she was being ridiculous. In fact, Leslie leaving was

  the best thing that could possibly happen. Then they could both get on with their

  lives without constantly reminding one another of something that had happened

  long ago, but that still apparently had the power to hurt them both. Leslie was

  doing the right thing. Making the correct choice. Dev took a deep breath,

  absorbing that simple realization and enjoying the peace that went with it.

  “Do you happen to have my permits for camping on the island?”

  Dev asked.

  Natalie looked startled at the abrupt change in subject, but nodded.

  “That and the gear you’ll need to stay for four or Þ ve days. Everything should

  be set for you by tomorrow.”

  “Good. Then I’ll head out the day after tomorrow.” Getting away from

  Lakeview and the memories that had sprung to life around her was just what she

 

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