When Dreams Tremble

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When Dreams Tremble Page 11

by Radclyffe


  needed, especially if Leslie was leaving. With any luck, she could get back to

  work without constantly seeing Leslie’s face in her mind or hearing her voice or

  just…remembering.

  “Thursday. Hell,” Natalie said. “I have to be in meetings almost all day. But I

  can get someone else to run you out—”

  “No problem. I’m pretty sure Paul Harris will be able to do it.”

  Dev touched Natalie’s shoulder. “Believe me, you’ve been a huge help already.”

  “It’s no hardship.” Natalie reached under the table and brushed her Þ ngers

  along Dev’s thigh. “I told you that the Þ rst day. Remember?”

  “I do seem to recall something like that.”

  Natalie stopped her teasing caress just short of Dev’s crotch. She wasn’t usually

  so blatant in her seduction tactics, but Dev got to her in ways that other women

  didn’t. As much as Dev held back physically, she didn’t hide what she was

  feeling. Or maybe she couldn’t. Natalie had seen the way Dev looked at Leslie

  Harris, and watching Dev’s face when Leslie had disappeared out the front

  door, she’d Þ nally understood the phrase wearing your heart on your sleeve.

  Dev probably

  • 92 •

  WHEN DREAMS TREMBLE

  didn’t realize it, but when she looked at Leslie, her eyes were Þ lled with

  helpless longing.

  “Were you out in high school?” Natalie asked, suddenly getting the picture. But

  Dev couldn’t possibly be carrying a torch all these years, could she?

  “No,” Dev said, her voice hoarse. “I didn’t know anyone who was gay. I didn’t

  really understand myself, what I was feeling, not for sure until…” The night I

  kissed her.

  The pain in Dev’s face was so naked, Natalie ached. Obviously she’d been

  wrong about the importance of whatever Dev had felt back then. Impulsively,

  she covered Dev’s hand where it rested on the tablecloth. “Never mind. Water

  under the bridge, right?”

  “Absolutely,” Dev said, thinking that until a few days before, she’d believed that.

  She drained her coffee and pushed her uneaten plate of food away. “Thanks for

  last night. It was just what I needed.”

  Natalie held Dev’s eyes and let Dev see what was in hers. Her interest. Her

  desire. Last night had been great. What she might as well admit was that she

  wanted more than kisses. She wanted more than a night or two of pleasure with

  Dev’s great body. She wanted to be the one to erase the hurt in her eyes. And

  that was dangerous thinking. But then, anything worth having was worth the risk

  of a few bumps and bruises. “So let’s do it again soon and see what else you

  might need.

  Tonight? Tomorrow?”

  Shaking her head, Dev pushed her chair back, her legs stretched out in front of

  her. “I’ve got a couple of solid days’ work at the lab before I head out to the

  islands. How about another rain check?”

  Natalie let her eyes wander up and down Dev’s body, taking her time and not

  bothering to hide exactly what she was thinking. “I’ll pray for storms.”

  Laughing, Dev rose. “Don’t let the tourists hear you say that.”

  On the way out, Dev waved to Eileen Harris, who stood in the doorway

  between the kitchen and the dining room, watching them with a pensive

  expression.

  • 93 •

  • 94 •

  WHEN DREAMS TREMBLE

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  At just after 6 p.m., Dev turned down the driveway to Lakeview.

  She’d had a good day at the lab. Arno Rodriguez, her summer intern from

  Oswego State College, had shown up and proved to be eager, if more likely to

  be of use analyzing data than collecting it.

  Arno’s practical expertise left a bit to be desired, but his computer skills were

  excellent. Truthfully, she didn’t mind. She had always preferred to be out in the

  Þ eld, but in the last few years more and more of her time had been consumed

  by preparing reports for one government agency or another and presenting

  recommendations at state and federal budgetary meetings. And lately, she’d had

  another, even less pleasant job added to her résumé—testifying for the state as

  an expert witness at trials involving EPA violations.

  So this summer was almost like a sabbatical for her, and she welcomed the

  opportunity to do the Þ eldwork. She’d been so absorbed all day she hadn’t

  thought of anything personal until she’d reached the Lakeshore Road. Then she

  couldn’t help but think of Leslie and wonder if she had left to return to New

  York City. She told herself that was for the best, but it didn’t feel that way in the

  pit of her stomach.

  The heavy throbbing there felt almost as bad as losing her the Þ rst time.

  When she rounded a curve in the narrow road that wound through the trees and

  saw emergency vehicles with lights ß ashing parked haphazardly just below the

  lodge, her heart lurched. Leslie! She stomped down on the gas and rocketed

  into the parking lot, Þ shtailed to a stop, and jumped from the cab of the truck.

  As she ran toward a small

  • 95 •

  RADCLY fFE

  crowd at the verge of the long slope leading down to the boathouse, she

  scanned the back porch where half a dozen guests were gathered. There was no

  one there she recognized. Everyone appeared to be staring in the direction of

  the lake and the docks below. She started down, and that was when she saw

  EMTs guiding a stretcher up the grassy incline. She recognized Eileen Harris

  hurrying along beside the clump of medical personnel, and her stomach tightened

  into a cold knot.

  It had been so obvious that Leslie was ill. Why hadn’t anyone said anything—

  why hadn’t she? Because it wasn’t her place. Because Leslie’s prickly temper

  and aloof manner kept everyone at arm’s length. Because she didn’t want to

  risk Leslie shutting her out. When had she resorted to cowardice, or was that

  just the way she’d always been around Leslie?

  Racing downhill, half skidding on the damp grass, she called to Leslie’s mother.

  “What happened? Is it Leslie? Is she hurt?”

  “What?” Eileen, who looked confused and distracted, nevertheless seemed

  relieved when she recognized Dev. “Oh. No, no. It’s Paul.”

  Breathless, she grasped Dev’s arm and pulled her along. “One of the winches

  pulled loose and the boat slipped…and, oh God—”

  Devon grasped her hand. “Take your time. It’s okay. What did the EMTs say?”

  “It looks like his leg is broken. They’re not sure what else,” Eileen said in a

  calmer voice. “I can’t reach Leslie. I’ve called her, but I can’t reach her.”

  “Cell reception is spotty up here,” Dev said. “Where are they taking him?”

  “Glens Falls.”

  They’d reached the ambulance, and Eileen bent down to murmur something to

  her husband, whose face was covered with an oxygen mask. Dev couldn’t tell if

  he answered or not. As the EMTs loaded him into the van, Eileen wrapped her

  arms around her waist and shuddered.

  “I need to go to the hospital, but the guests…” Eileen murmured.

  “I should stay until Leslie—”

  “No, you go. I’ll keep an ey
e on things,” Dev said, extracting a card from her

  wallet. “Here’s my cell number. As soon as you’re settled, call me and tell me

  where you are. I’ll give the message to Leslie so

  • 96 •

  WHEN DREAMS TREMBLE

  she can meet you there. You can Þ ll me in on what to do here when you call.”

  Eileen shook her head. “You’re a guest. You shouldn’t be doing this.”

  “Hey, I used to be a neighbor. I’m not really a guest.”

  “You’re very kind,” Eileen said with a faint smile. She squeezed Dev’s arm.

  “Thank you. I have to go. I’ll call you. Leslie’s number—”

  “I’ve got it. Remember, you gave it to me the day I picked her up at the train

  station.”

  Dev watched as Eileen climbed into the back of the ambulance, immeasurably

  relieved that it wasn’t Leslie strapped to the gurney as the doors closed with a

  resounding thud. When the emergency vehicles disappeared from sight, she

  hurried off toward her cabin. She needed to shower, change, and get back to

  the lodge. She needed to reach Leslie.

  Twenty minutes later, after being routed directly to voicemail at least a dozen

  times, she reached her.

  “Les? It’s Dev.”

  “Dev? Hi, what’s going on?”

  “Where are you?”

  “About Þ fteen minutes away on the Northway. Why?”

  “Can you pull over for a minute so I don’t lose you?”

  “Hold on…okay, go ahead.”

  Leslie sounded composed, unrattled.

  “Your dad’s had an accident—it looks like a broken leg, at least.

  Your mother’s with him, and they’re on their way to Glens Falls Hospital right

  now.”

  “All right.” Leslie took a deep breath. “Is he in any danger?”

  “I don’t know, Les. I don’t think so, but I got here just as the EMTs were

  transporting him.”

  “I’m headed there now, then. Thanks, Dev.”

  “Call me if you need anything.” Dev heard the crackle of static.

  “Les? Les?”

  She disconnected, feeling impotent. Even though she knew Leslie didn’t need

  her, she wished she could join her. She shook her head, wondering at the

  strength of the ties that she’d once thought were irrevocably broken.

  v

  • 97 •

  RADCLY fFE

  Most of the lights were out in the lodge when Leslie pulled into the parking lot

  shortly after 11 p.m. She was so tired she felt numb.

  She contemplated going directly to her cabin, but she needed to make sure

  everything was all right with the guests. Thankfully, it wasn’t yet the height of the

  season and they weren’t full. She tossed her briefcase in the backseat of the

  Jeep, locked the door, and made her way inside.

  A single lamp burned on the walnut sideboard just inside the wide double doors.

  The great room and the dining room beyond were empty. Light shone beneath

  the swinging door from the kitchen and she headed that way. She stumbled to a

  stop as she shouldered the door open and stepped into the next room. Dev, in a

  navy T-shirt and blue jeans, stood at the long kitchen counter with a white

  butcher’s apron tied around her waist, covering platters of food with plastic

  wrap.

  “Dev?” Leslie said in surprise.

  Dev set aside the carving knife that she’d been using to slice ham.

  “Hi. How’s your dad?”

  “He’s sedated, but stable. What are you doing?”

  “Cleaning up after dinner.” Dev walked to the refrigerator and pulled out a

  bottle of Heineken. She held it up in Leslie’s direction.

  “Want one?”

  “God, yes.” Leslie slumped onto a stool at the central island.

  “They’re going to operate on him early tomorrow morning. My mother wanted

  to be close tonight and got a room at a motel across the street from the

  hospital.”

  Dev opened two bottles, handed one to Leslie, and pulled a chair around the

  table so she could sit facing her. “What did they say, exactly?”

  Leslie shrugged. “What do they ever say? His leg is shattered and there’s a

  hairline fracture of his pelvis. There might be some nerve damage.” Leslie’s

  voice cracked and she covered her eyes. Her Þ ngers trembled.

  “Hey,” Dev said gently, resting her hand on Leslie’s knee. “You look beat. Why

  don’t I walk you down to your cabin so you can turn in.”

  “No. I need to get some things together for my mother. I promised her I’d bring

  them Þ rst thing tomorrow.” She scanned the kitchen.

  • 98 •

  WHEN DREAMS TREMBLE

  “Besides, you need some help in here. God. You shouldn’t even be doing this.”

  “Why not?” Dev said, feigning affront. She pointed to a row of typed pages afÞ

  xed to the refrigerator with multicolored magnets shaped like Þ sh. “Your

  mother has the menu laid out for every meal, every day of the week, and she

  cooks ahead. It was easy enough to Þ nd everything and put it together.” She

  grinned. “At least, no one complained. Yet.”

  “There’s only, what, eight guests? In another week, there’ll be thirty. Are you

  planning to give up your day job?” Hearing the sharp edge to her voice, Leslie

  covered Dev’s hand and squeezed. “But thanks. If you hadn’t been here, my

  mother would have had to stay, and she’d be out of her mind with worry.”

  “It was no problem,” Dev said. “And I’m not volunteering for permanent KP.

  I’m only good until we run out of the semi-prepared stuff. But your mother’s not

  going to be able to manage by herself.”

  “I know. I’m going to have to get some temporary help in here for her right

  away.” Leslie set her beer aside and started to pace. “A cook, for sure. And

  someone to run the boats and look after maintenance, because my father’s not

  going to be able to do much for the rest of the season. And that damn truck has

  to go. I had to stop twice to let the engine cool off.”

  Dev sipped her beer and watched Leslie slide effortlessly from exhaustion and

  distress into sharply focused control. It was impressive.

  It was probably costly too, she imagined, physically and emotionally.

  She wasn’t surprised that Leslie had a blood pressure problem.

  “All that’s going to take more than a few days,” Dev pointed out.

  “I can stay another week or two,” Leslie said, her expression distant as she

  calculated what needed to be done and how she would manage that and the

  work she wanted to do. “I was planning on being up here a few weeks anyhow.

  If I need a little longer, I can keep working out of the local ofÞ ce while I get

  things squared away here.”

  “Uh,” Dev said carefully, “I sort of got the impression you were supposed to be

  taking it easy while you were here. Not taking on another job.”

  Leslie waved a hand impatiently. “I’m Þ ne. I haven’t had any problems since

  I’ve been here.”

  • 99 •

  RADCLY fFE

  “You did the day you arrived.”

  “I’d just gotten out of the hospital and hadn’t had any sleep at all.” Leslie Þ xed

  Dev with a pointed stare. “Not that it’s any of your business, Devon, but I

  arranged for the damn tests they wante
d me to have.”

  Dev grinned. “Good.”

  “Of course,” Leslie said, searching through the utility drawer for paper and a

  pen, “I’ll have to reschedule those now.”

  “Why?”

  Leslie started making a list. “Because I’m supposed to get most of them

  tomorrow afternoon, and that’s impossible.”

  “Why?”

  “You know, I don’t remember you being such a pain in the ass,”

  Leslie muttered.

  “Neither were you.”

  Leslie gave her a sidelong glare, but she smiled. “My father’s going to be

  operated on tomorrow and I’ll need to stay with my mother in the morning.

  Then I have to deal with this place.”

  “My schedule’s ß exible. I can keep an eye on things here.”

  “You must have your own work to do.”

  “I was going out to the islands the day after tomorrow, but I can postpone that a

  few days. I’ve got plenty of work to do around here.”

  Dev got up to Þ nish slicing the leftover ham. “At least until things are more

  settled with your dad. I don’t mind, really.”

  Leslie sighed. “It would help a lot.”

  “One stipulation.”

  “I don’t usually make deals.” Leslie folded her arms and regarded Dev

  appraisingly. “But I suppose you can try.”

  Dev leaned against the counter and met Leslie’s gaze steadily.

  Seeing the calculation and unmistakable power in Leslie’s eyes, Dev

  appreciated for the Þ rst time that this was not the woman of her memories.

  Like Dev, Leslie had changed. Every now and then Dev caught a glimpse of the

  girl she had known, when a little bit of humor broke through her steely control or

  when compassion softened her unyielding reserve. When they’d been young,

  Dev had been attracted to Leslie’s softness and her gentle innocence. Now she

  found her strength every bit as appealing, if quite a bit more irritating.

  “You get the tests tomorrow,” Dev said.

  • 100 •

  WHEN DREAMS TREMBLE

  “Dev—” Leslie started to protest, exasperated, then considered how much help

  Dev had been. And how much her concern touched her.

  “Okay, look. If I can, I will.”

  “Good enough.” Dev opened the refrigerator and slid the tray of sliced meat

  onto the bottom shelf. “I was thinking of scrambled eggs and the rest of this ham

  for breakfast. What do you think?”

 

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