Red (Black #2)

by T. L Smith

  “Were you there for the birth?” I don’t know everything that has happened, they tell me what they remember when they remember. I don’t delve and ask, I don’t think I have that right.

  “I was, that’s the moment I think I fell for her. Despite everything, that woman knows how to crack you open to make room for her.”

  “She does.” Fuck does she know how.

  “I was going to ask her that day, to be with me. I left to grab a drink, and when I came back, she was on the bed with the baby in her arms. Crying, holding those stupid cards you used, and I knew then, she wouldn’t love me the way she loved you. She just experienced the most beautiful thing, and all she wanted was you.”

  I stay quiet for a while, not sure how to process it. The days have gone by, and I haven’t seen her, I have wanted to see her. I just know I can’t be with her yet. She doesn’t need what I have to offer. I enjoy doing what I do, it’s all I’ve known. Changing so completely will take time. Time that I don’t want to waste, time that she shouldn’t waste.

  “She is waiting for you to do what you have to.”

  “He needs to die.” Jake nods, understanding what I need. I can’t live if he’s still out there. I’m not wired that way.

  “This is how it’s going to go, Robbie,” Jake says, leaning down on the balls of his feet, so he’s eye level with him. Robbie is tied up, his hands dispensed above his head, his feet tied to the chair.

  “You’re going to give Black everything that he needs, then you and I will chat.” Robbie’s eyes flick to mine then back to Jake.

  “Don’t leave me with him,” he pleads with Jake. I smile, it’s not me he should be worried about.

  “You’re scared of Black?” Robbie tries to straighten his tied up shoulders, showing he isn’t scared, but I know he is.

  “It’s not me you should be afraid of.” His eyes flick to mine, then to Jake’s. “Now tell me, where is Grover?”

  He shakes his head. “I don’t know.”

  “I can’t shoot him?” I ask Jake, and Jake shakes his head. “Can I do other things?” Jake looks to a scared Robbie then back to me and nods his head. I take a step toward him, and he starts talking straight away.

  “He’s back at the compound, has been since the day you killed his men.”

  “Why?”

  “He’s burying them, and recruiting new men to take you down.” I nod my head, then turn back and sit in the spare seat in this hell hole. The one where it fucked up Jake. The same one I found her again in.

  “One more thing.” His eyes go wide. “Tell me why the murders weren’t connected to begin with to Gray.” I know the answer, I just want to hear it from him.

  “He paid me to cover it up. I covered your dirty jobs, you piece of shit.”

  “Those jobs were to link him to every murder.”

  He laughs at me.

  “I know.”

  “Did you love your daddy that much? That you wanted to protect him?” H is stare turns to anger.

  “No, I just wanted you dead.”

  “Me, dead?”

  “He didn’t want me, he had you and Jake. Why the need for another son? You were his golden boy, Jake was his second. There was no room for me, so when he said to hide your evidence of killings, I did. I knew then I could sneak my way back in. Then…” he shakes his head, “…you had to take her. You had to love her. It wasn’t just my family you wanted, it was her, too. So I fed him information, his loyalty only goes so far.”

  “Do you know what you started?” Jake asks, I don’t talk anymore. Robbie doesn’t realize everything he just said gave him a death notice. It wasn’t just me and Rose that got hurt in all this. Jake did, too. And to top it off by hurting us, they hurt him even more. He could heal, he knows this. He had to live without me for five years, to some that may not seem much. But to people like us, it’s a lifetime. He and I, it’s all we knew. We didn’t confide in anyone, him especially. To him, it was just me. He had his brothers, but they weren’t me. I know this. He has wanted to kill, leave them all multiple times in the past, he never did because of me.

  Robbie is throwing Jake a confused look. “It’s because of you that I was tortured by my men. It’s because of you that Black was shot. It’s because of you that little Liam grew up without a father. And Rose… she isn’t the same, you know it. She tries to act tough as she is. Except, I hear her cries at night and the nightmares that plague her. That’s all because of you.” His head shakes back and forth so fast it’s giving me a headache just watching him.

  “He didn’t want me, he wouldn’t even tell you about me.” He tries a softer tone, Jake doesn’t really have a softer side. He only has that for me, Rose, and the kids. No one else touches that side of him. He may fool you with his smart-ass mouth, or his smiles, but that’s exactly that, though, he’s fooling you.

  “I may let you live.” Robbie gives him a look of hope. “If she says you can live.”

  Jake reaches for his phone, I hear her voice rushed as she answers, asking him what’s going on. He waits patiently for her to finish. Then tells her to come here, alone. I hear her ask why, that she doesn’t want to come to this place, it holds too many bad memories for her.

  “Black is here,” he says turning to me, then I hear her agree. He hangs up the phone and places it in his pocket then turns to Robbie and throws a punch in his face that knocks his front teeth out.

  He starts to cry, his hands try to move. He wants to touch his face, but he can’t.

  “She won’t let you hurt me,” he says, his voice is low and broken. It’s sickening. Only a few slaps, one bullet, and he’s breaking.

  “You would think that wouldn’t you?” Jake says.

  “Do you want to know what they did to her because you told them about her? Just to get rid of Black?” His head’s hanging low, but he lifts it now to look at Jake. Jake leans in close.

  “They sliced her, bit her nipples so badly that you wouldn’t even be able to recognize them from all the blood.” His eyes go wide. “She almost died because of you. She almost lost her baby because of you. She lost Black because of you. Now tell me again, who’s more important… you or Black?” His head swings to me, he knows the answer. I know the answer. She will always choose me. The broken, despicable me.

  How did I get so lucky?

  Why must I fuck it up?

  Sax told me he’s coming with me as I was at his house. I told him what happened, he shook his head and welcomed the kids and me in like it was an ordinary day. That man knows too much. He wouldn’t tell me anything, I asked. He said it’s not his place to speak. I hate it when he does that to me. His bald head is like a secret keeper, as well as an I-know-too-much shit keeper. I don’t know how Casey does not find that frustrating. Then again, I’m with a man who doesn’t like to speak much, unless prompted.

  We arrive at the compound, and it’s quiet. I see Black’s car and know he’s here. Sax looks around like he’s on the job. Hell, he could be for all I know. We both climb out and walk the short distance to the broken and torn down house. I hear Jake’s voice first, it’s raised. Not friendly either. The door opens before we reach it. Liam stands there looking down at us, he looks to me then to Sax. Nods his head to him and reaches his hand out to me. I walk the short distance to him and place my hand in his. He turns and pulls me softly through the door. I stop on the spot, Sax running into my back, his hands go to my shoulders, holding me in place. I look to Liam, then Jake, then Robbie, tied up, bleeding.

  “Oh my God.” My hand pulls from Liam, covering my face. I go to walk to Robbie, but Sax keeps me in place and doesn’t let me move.

  “We need to talk, Rose,” Jake says, wiping his hands with the bottom of shirt exposing his stomach.

  “Talk?” I know my mouth is gaping because that doesn’t make any sense. I want to know why they have him here, tied up.

  “Yes, it seems Robbie has been living a lie, particularly to you.” Robbie’s eyes find mine. He attempts to shake
his head and stops from the pain it causes him.

  “You can’t do this, you said you stopped the bad, Jake.”

  “I do this, Rose, it has never stopped. I just try not to bring it back to you.” I watch as Liam walks to Jake, his face full of anger. Jake pulls his hands up. “I would never put them in danger.”

  “You promised me,” Liam says, and I’m lost again. It’s like a movie is playing out and I’m here to just watch.

  “I did, and I did protect her, I still am. Get off your high horse and come back to the now.” They turn to look at me. I turn to see where Sax is, who has not said a word at all. He’s watching me.

  “Do you want to leave?” he asks, as I turn back to Liam. He wouldn’t put me in danger. I don’t see Robbie as a danger. So I shake my head. He nods his head and turns back to look at the boys.

  “What do you know of Robbie’s family?” Jake asks me. I try to think, I’ve known him for over five years and never met any of them so I shake my head. “How do you think they found you, that night on the lake?” Jake asks me again.

  Robbie moans from where he is, his eyes going large, so I watch him with interest.

  “They followed us?” I say to Jake, but my eyes are on Robbie, his eyes are wide, he is worried, my mind is going back to that night, a night I don’t want to go back to.

  “They didn’t,” Liam says. He pulls me from it, he does those things to me. He stands with a bit of distance between us. I can still feel all of him there for me.

  “What do you mean?” I don’t fully understand what’s going on. Why won’t they just say it?

  “Robbie told them about you. You didn’t want him, you wanted Black,” Jake says, I feel sick like I might throw up any second now.

  “It’s not true, is it Robbie? You wouldn’t do that to my family and me?”

  A strangle cry comes from him, I watch his mouth when he tries to open it. His teeth are missing, his mouth’s full of blood. “That’s not the only reason, he’s also my brother. He didn’t like it that Pres favored Black, counting him as his son and not Robbie.” The anger has climbed, it’s like a snake, wrapping itself up me, starting from the bottom, crawling its way to the top.

  “That’s how Ru found us that night, Robbie told him where we were.” The snake is now in my hands, and those hands have reached for Liam’s gun. He doesn’t see it coming, he’s actually too slow to stop me. I grab the gun, pull the trigger, it's loud, deafening my ears. Robbie screams and Liam pulls me backward.

  “Drop the gun, Rose,” he whispers into my ear from my back. I open my eyes, Robbie’s head is hung over, my hands shake, the gun still tightly wrapped in my hands. I feel my finger still on the trigger, my hand frozen in fear. “Rose, come back to me.” His voice is sweet, I doubt that it’s him at first, it can’t be. He isn’t sweet, he’s anything but. But when I feel his lips and beard on my cheek, the gun drops from my hand. Sax picks it up straight away. Liam wraps me tightly, my whole body shaking. “You didn’t kill him, Rose, you didn’t.” I manage to open my eyes, Jake’s staring at us, with me wrapped in Liam’s arms.

  “I didn’t kill him?” I ask Jake, who stands near Robbie, and he shakes his head.

  “It skimmed his head, there’s a bit of blood and he passed out. He will live, for a bit,” he says lifting his head showing me the blood then dropping his head back down.

  Sax walks to the front, his form towers over me. His eyes squint as they look down at me, then he looks behind me to Liam, nods his head and bends down to lift me.

  “No!” I say shaking my head, pulling myself from the arms of him.

  “I think you need to rest,” Sax says, talking to me, looking at Liam.

  “You expect me to rest?” A laugh bubbles from my chest, Sax looks at me unexpectedly. “Really?” My hands are shaking and flying around my face. “I just shot a person, you bloody idiots.” Liam takes Sax place in front of me.

  “You did.”

  “I did,” I say nodding my head. My hands stop moving, my body going to shock, the picture on replay in my mind.

  “Welcome to the dark side,” Jake says, I completely forgot he was there, his voice penetrates my mind, and I lose it. My fist goes flying, in any direction to whoever is closest to me, I feel the hardness of Liam’s chest when I punch, he doesn’t move, but it hurts my hands. He stands there while I do it, letting me take it out on him.

  “I don’t want to be on your motherfucking dark side, you fucks!” I scream, my fists have stopped, my hands clenched to my sides. Turning to leave, I know he’s following behind me, so I turn fast once we are near my car.

  “Get away from me Liam Black, before I say some very hurtful things to you.”

  He goes to take a step forward, I raise my hand to signal him to stop and he does.

  “You’re angry?”

  “Ding dong, you’re fucking clever tonight aren’t you?”

  “At me? At us?”

  “Damn tootin’ I am, both you and Jake. Fuck you both and your fucked up lives. Stop bringing me down with you!” Opening my door, I hear his voice when I enter.

  “I didn’t want it for you, Rose.”

  “You didn’t give me much of a choice in the matter of loving you, did you? Your stupid eyes, stupid smile, stupid silent, stupid, stupid heart…” His head drops and I know I need to shut up, so I don’t look at him when I drive away, but it’s incredibly hard not to.

  Jake walks out, I haven’t been able to move. I have been staring at the space where her car was parked, trying to think. Trying to work out what is the best thing to do. He doesn’t say much, just stands next to me. Staring off as well.

  “He may say he’s my brother, but he isn’t my brother.” I turn to his words, they’re soft, unlike him. “You are that.” I nod my head, he is that for me. Has been since we were teenagers.

  “Are you going to kill him?” He said he would, but the reaction from Rose might have him back peddling.

  “I don’t know, she will hate me.”

  “She will,” I agree.

  “Maybe slice him up a bit more, then send him packing?” He nods his head. He takes a few steps then stands in front of me, his face mixed with emotions, but the main one I can see is determination.

  “I’m leaving, Black, I’m leaving tomorrow.” I knew it was coming. It’s what he wants, he doesn’t want to stay somewhere and watch what may or may not happen between Rose and me. I don’t even know what will happen.

  “I need some favors first.”

  His eyebrows raise in surprise. “Tell me.”

  “I need a steel coffin.”

  His mouth hangs open, then shuts. “You’re joking, right?”

  “No, and I need it by tonight.”

  “Where the fuck am I meant to find a coffin? Let alone a steel one?”

  “Your boys are good with steel, ring them and tell them I need it, now.”

  “They hate you.”

  He shakes his head in disbelief.

  “They don’t hate you.”

  He nods his head and goes back to staring out into nothing but gravel road and long grass.

  “You better go after her.” His arms are crossed, his lips are tight.

  “She needs time.”

  “She doesn’t. Go… now,” he says as he stops clenching his fists, then he turns and walks back to the house.

  The drive is quiet, I try to think of the best possible thing to say to her, I am not good with words, so I come up blank every time. I see her car parked in the driveway, and as I look closer, I see she is still in it, sitting there, doing nothing. She jumps when I open the door, her face red from anger or hurt, I am not sure which one.

  “Should we talk?” I give her the option, she sits there playing with her fingers.

  A moment of silence passes before her eyes seek mine and she speaks. “I think it may be best.”

  “What do you need from me?”

  “If you would have asked me that question a few months ago, the answer woul
d have been simple.”

  “It’s not as simple anymore?” she shakes her head. “It’s not.”

  “It’s who I am.”

  She rolls her eyes, her mouth goes tight. “It’s who you know, who you think you are, it’s not who you are.”

  “You think love changes things, Rose? Do you? Love is just a cover up, it’s not who you are.”

  “Don’t bullshit me, I can’t handle more shit today.” She steps from the car, her back against the door, her eyes dance from the floor up to me. I step closer, my hand moves up, the same time her hand comes up in defense, stopping me by touching my chest. The only hands I ever want to touch me there again. I lean in close, my mouth near her ear, her breathing becomes heavier.

  “You’ve hurt me, not put us first, even after you remembered. I need time, Liam, I need to work out what’s best for us, for our family. And right now, it can’t have you in it while I work it out.” A sob breaks free. “I can’t believe I just said those words to you, to you of all people. The person who I love that holds me so tightly that I find it hard to breathe.”

  “It’s okay to think of yourself, Rose, most people do. Think for yourself, I’ll be here. I will always be here, just maybe not in the manner in which you need me to be.”

  I kiss her cheek, she closes her eyes. I kiss her again, moving closer and closer to her lips with each kiss. My lips touch the edges of hers. She opens, giving me access to her and the kiss is beautiful, unlike our previous kisses. This one speaks of missed time, hello, as well as goodbye. I can feel her passion toward it, her hands are everywhere now, up and down my back, on my face, through my hair. I am exactly the same, trying with each beat to get her to me, to keep her locked to me.

  Then she pulls away, stepping away from me, gaining distance from us.

  “You should go.” She wipes at her lips, taking me off of her, any trace of me now gone.

  I reach up to touch her one last time, her face, her hand, anywhere. But she pulls away even more. My hand drops so I turn leaving her standing there, leaving a piece of me behind with her.