His Command

by Sophie H. Morgan

  “I’m sorry.” She just couldn’t. Especially now they were sleeping together. Murky didn’t cover it. Icky fit the bill. Like she was trading sex for favors.

  “I don’t understand. I’m not asking you to secure Jax’s agreement. Honestly, Hailey. If you can’t even secure a meeting with a client through somebody you know . . .” She trailed off with an expectant look while an ambulance siren blared in the background.

  The threat was clearer than if Erica had spelled it out in smoke letters like the caterpillar in Disney’s Alice in Wonderland.

  “Erica,” Hailey said with care, toes curling in her shoes as she fought for the right words. “I think I’ve proven how capable I am.”

  “You have. All I’m asking is for that something special. Something that will prove once and for all that I’m not wasting my time.” The cigarette smoke wound around her head like brimstone as she stubbed out her cigarette. Never had there been a more fitting image. “If I don’t have the meeting by the end of the month, we’ll need to talk again.”

  23.

  Ryder vanished the magazine he’d conjured and pushed to his feet as Hailey emerged from the hall that fed into reception. She was pale beneath the tan. “Hales? You okay?”

  “Hmm?” She glanced up, focused. Her smile wasn’t a smile. “I’m fine.”

  Bull. She hadn’t been since he’d looked up and seen her with the lemon sucker and the wuss ex.

  Ryder took Hailey’s hand and led her into the elevator, nodding at the receptionist as he went. She looked cheerier than when he’d come in, pink splashing her cheeks as she waved back.

  They didn’t say anything as Ryder led Hailey out of the building and into the fresh air. And it was fresh today, at least ten degrees cooler than the day before. His worn leather jacket appeared in his hands.

  She smiled wanly at him as he tucked it around her shoulders. “Thanks.”

  “You’ll make it up to me later.” He grinned, relieved to see an answering spark in those green eyes. They were sad again, and it made him crazy.

  He paused on the street. “You want to get coffee?”

  “Sure.”

  Instead of flashing, he walked them to a nearby Starbucks. He kept glancing at her preoccupied face on the way, his mouth pursed as he ignored the gawkers on the streets.

  She worried him.

  And he didn’t like it.

  Usually when he was with a woman for a few weeks, he started getting itchy feet. Usually by now he’d be able to see the faults, the things that clashed with his own personality, and he’d deliver the best damn it’s-not-you, it’s-me speech—because it was him. He just wasn’t cut out for commitment. Every woman he’d been with was still friendly when they bumped into him. Because they understood how it was.

  Hailey was different from the others. For starters, she was determined to keep everything free and easy, too. It was starting to grate sometimes, actually, the way she held back something he could tell she thought wasn’t “allowed” to say because of the rules. But he could deal because that was who she was, and she made up for the small annoyance in other, spectacular ways.

  She still made him laugh, made him crazy, even after a month. She’d cooked him star pancakes as a treat the other day. Who did stuff like that? Especially when the woman couldn’t make food worth a damn. She’d burned the batter and passed them off as Cajun.

  The memory made him smile.

  “Grab a table in back,” he told her from the line. The scent of roasted beans was overpowering, akin to the deafening noise of steam hissing, plates clinking. “You want a latte?”

  She nodded. “Thanks.”

  He watched her walk to a table. Her shoulders drooped, he noticed. They hadn’t when he’d left her in bed that morning, all warm and adorable in the sheets. It was that dick, Plaitt. That and her boss who’d treated her like shit in front of them all.

  Ryder picked up their order after signing a couple of napkins—apparently this neighborhood was big on Genie Gossip—and went to the table Hailey sat at. “I forgot to ask if you wanted something to eat,” he said as he placed the cups on the table.

  “No. Thanks. I’m not allowed.”

  “Huh?”

  “Erica.” Hailey pinched the white lid of the coffee and inhaled the steam. It made her cheeks flush. “She doesn’t like her employees gaining weight.”

  “That’s legal?”

  She shrugged. “It’s her company. She’s the boss at the end of the day.”

  “Remind me to feed you more Italian gelato at some point.” Ryder inwardly scoffed. Not allowed. What bull.

  Hailey’s smile was faint as she stared into her coffee.

  “All right.” Ryder picked up his americano and blew on it. “Out with it.”

  “With what?”

  “Whatever’s making you all . . .” He waved a hand. “Droopy drawers.”

  A genuine smile curved the mouth that drove him insane. “Droopy drawers?”

  “It’s apt.” He swallowed some coffee. “Come on. Tell Uncle Ryder.”

  “Considering what you did to me in bed last night, I’d prefer not to think of you as an uncle.”

  He grinned. The sass couldn’t be denied. “So?”

  “It’s nothing.”

  “It’s something. C’mon.” He picked up the hand that lay on the table and stroked his thumb along her palm. Her fingers curled in. “Tell me.” His expression turned mock serious. “It’s a command.”

  Something flickered in her gaze, amusement blending with shadows. Then she sighed. “It’s my ex.”

  A strange sharpness lodged in Ryder’s gut. “You’re still not over him.”

  “No. I mean, yes!” She made a face that would have looked ugly on anyone else. “God, yes.”

  He relaxed. “So then what?”

  Her teeth raked her lip. He could see the struggle between wanting to tell him and adhering to her rules. He held his breath until she shook her head and took a sip of her drink. “It’s ‘Girl in the Meadow.’”

  “What’s that bitch done now?”

  Ruefulness shone in her eyes as she lifted them to him. She squeezed his hand and tugged hers away to wrap around her coffee cup. “It’s the title of a poem.”

  Five seconds passed. “I feel like I’m dragging words through syrup,” he commented.

  “Sorry.” She passed a hand through her hair. “You sure you want to talk about this? It’s not really what we’re meant to be about.”

  Meaning it wasn’t in the rules.

  He raised his coffee to his mouth, sipped, stared with expectation.

  “All right.” The fingers of her other hand drilled the table before a grimace pulled at her mouth. “God, it’s so lame, but it was a poem Ethan wrote about me. Well, said he wrote about me, but I don’t know if I honestly believe that anymore.”

  Wussy poet.

  “It talks about the summer goddess inhabiting a simple girl, how the beauty of nature feeds into the girl and vice versa.”

  Ryder thought he might be sick, but only his eyebrows twitched.

  Still, Hailey caught it and sent him a look. “It’s actually one of his better poems. And it was . . . romantic to think I was his muse. I was younger,” she defended herself.

  “Okay, so he wrote this slushy poem.” Ryder swallowed the grimace. He’d never get poetry. “What’s that got to do with sad eyes making a comeback?”

  “He’s reading it at their rehearsal dinner.” Hailey sat back in her chair and stared at Ryder. Annoyance joined the party. “He told Serena he wrote it for her.”

  “Asshole.”

  Her smile made something funny happen to his insides.

  “That’s better. I prefer the smile.”

  “Me, too. I hate feeling sad.”

  Because there was still some sadness in her eyes, Ryder reached for the lighthearted.

  “I gotta say,” he said, settling back, lifting his chin as if to pose, “you traded up.”

  “Oh, re
ally?”

  “Absolutely.” He counted it on his fingers. “Magical, handsome, spontaneous, great lover. You did good, babe.”

  She rolled her eyes but a smile tugged on her mouth. “You’re ridiculous.”

  “Frankly, I don’t get what you saw in him. He’s like . . .” He searched for a word. “ . . . tofu.”

  She blinked. “Tofu?”

  “Tofu doesn’t have its own flavor. It only works when you put it with a stronger one.” He lifted a shoulder. “Using strong women makes him look—and probably feel—better.”

  She blew out a gusty breath. “Ryder, I was not a strong woman when I was with him.”

  “I find that hard to believe.”

  “Trust me.” A funny laugh spilled out. “I was meek. Always trying to match up to his expectations of what a good girlfriend should be.”

  “Like really excellent sex.”

  A glitter in her eyes replaced the memories. “No, I was always good at that.”

  He laughed.

  She stared into her cup, one shoulder lifting and then falling. “Ethan has this ability to make you feel . . .” She looked up. “You’re absolutely sure you want to hear this?”

  No, but he knew she needed to say it. “Forget about the damn rules for a second. I’m your friend, too. I want to know.”

  If she was taken aback by his snapping tone, she didn’t show it.

  “Well,” she said slowly, “Ethan is handsome and romantic, and he knows it. He’s every young woman’s dream: gentle, soft-spoken, committed. And he gets you so caught up in his web, you don’t even see what’s happening.”

  Jesus, if she said he’d abused her, Ryder was flashing back there and kicking the crap out of him. Better, he’d flash the ex to the North Pole, strip his clothes, and leave him on ice for a bit.

  Ignorant to his plotting, Hailey swirled the rest of her latte. “He’s a manipulator, a good one. Some suggestions here, an innocent remark there. It wasn’t long before my whole world revolved around him. And I worked like hell to make him happy. But I couldn’t—he made that clear right up until the bitter end.” She finished her latte in three gulps. “Anyway, he’s out of my life. You finished?”

  “Hang on.” He nudged her foot with his beneath the table. “What did he say to you when you broke up?”

  “It’s not important.”

  “Then why not tell me?”

  She grimaced. “It’s dumb.”

  “Hailey. Please?” he asked, barely audible above the clatter of dishes.

  She gazed at him, every thought reflected in those green eyes. Just when he thought she’d refuse, her shoulders dropped, waving the white flag.

  “No,” she admitted on a shaky inhale. “That’s what he said. We’d been together three years, talked about marriage and kids and a life together constantly, but when I proposed, he said no.” Instant crimson filled her cheeks. “Go on. Tell me how lame it is for the woman to propose.”

  “I wasn’t thinking that.” No, his thoughts ran more to conjuring a bat and going after Ethan’s legs. Add it to the list.

  “Three years of talking,” Hailey said. “Three years but no ring. No action. He said he loved me, wanted to raise a family, but he never actually did anything. Then one night, I was watching a movie with my friends—Quentin and Max?”

  Ryder nodded. He’d met them briefly the other night when he’d come over late to Hailey’s and found all three gossiping over wine. He’d liked the sassy, straight-talking Max and the protective, wry Quentin. They suited Hailey.

  “It was a movie called Leap Year. Basically about this woman going all the way to Dublin to propose to her boyfriend. Hijinks ensue. But all the way through I kept thinking, I could do this. Ethan always said he wanted me to be more impulsive, less of a planner—so why not propose?

  “I waited until the Saturday night, bought fancy wine and dinner from a restaurant, lit candles, wore my best dress. And I said let’s spend the rest of our lives together.”

  Ryder hated the vulnerability in her face, especially when he knew where this was going.

  That bat was looking more and more like the best option. Although he still liked his North Pole plan. Choices, choices.

  She shrugged. “He stared at me, stunned for a minute. Like it was some big surprise that I’d even thought of marriage. Then it came out. He wasn’t ready for marriage and even if he was it could never be with someone like me.”

  “Someone. Like. You?” Ryder ground out.

  “A workaholic. A person whose sole reason for living is her career. Who never thinks of anyone but herself. Who never supports her partner, listens to him, praises him. Loves him.” Hailey’s mouth flattened. “Who has to plan out her day starting from getting up to going to sleep and has to organize every outing to the last detail. Who could never be spontaneous because doing that would be letting go of control. And honestly,” she said, more to herself than him, “who will ever put up with a woman like that?”

  The best Ryder could manage was a growl. This asshole was begging for some pain. He’d recruit Leo. They’d make it look like an accident.

  You know, fell down the stairs, broke every bone in his body.

  “I know he’s a manipulator,” she said matter-of-factly. “I know it. But the worst part was that he was right. I do plan things out too much. I am too controlled, and I’m not impulsive—or I didn’t use to be.” The wondrous smile calmed him to a degree. “Work is my life. I mean, God, look at what I’m doing to get a promotion. I’m planning my ex’s wedding to a woman I can’t stand, and my boss wants me to—” She cut off and shook her head.

  Ryder breathed out. He needed to get a handle on himself before he stalked her ex later and went Genie on his ass.

  “Hailey,” he said, straight out, all honesty. “The guy’s a bastard.”

  “Yeah, but like I said, it doesn’t make his words any less true.”

  “Of course it fucking does. Sorry,” he added when she flinched. “But he’s an asshole. A weak-willed, manipulating asshole. When you proposed, you showed him how strong you really are. And I bet it scared the hell out of him. Men like that always prefer weaker women, and you, Hailey Lawson, are so strong I bet you could bend time and space to your will if you wanted.” He shook his head. “This is what’s got you tied up? I knew from the minute I met you you were one hell of a woman. The kind any man would want.”

  Her eyes were soft, melting. “Yeah?”

  “Sure. And you know what? Who cares if that stupid poem wasn’t written about you? Why would you want to be tied to that guy in any way?”

  “It’s not that,” she said with a small shake of her head. “It was like a smack in the jaw, yet another reminder that I was such a dumbass for believing anything he said. Or for hanging on to such a bad relationship for so long.”

  “And for hanging on to his bullshit words.” He snorted, disbelieving. “Thank God I came into your life.”

  Her eyebrow lifted, her familiar sass in the line.

  “Not only am I a better guy, I’d bet the family jewels I’m also a better lover.” He leaned in. “C’mon, admit it. He’s got a small dick, too, right?”

  Hailey’s lips twitched.

  He reached for her hand, threaded his fingers through hers so they were linked. Her skin was soft, and so were her eyes. “I’m pretty happy I came along, too,” he added on a grin. “I’m kind of enjoying this I-give-the-orders deal we’ve got going.”

  “Don’t get used to it.” Her warning was accompanied by a squeeze of her hand. When she sighed, it was more a puff of air as she traced the table with her gaze. “I won’t ever be that woman, Ryder. The one who can take off to Fiji on a moment’s notice or call in sick to go paragliding.”

  “Hey.” He nudged her with his foot beneath the table. “Look at what you’ve done in the last couple of weeks. Skydiving, karaoke. Hell, you rode a horse, the most vicious bastard this side of hell.”

  She gave him a squinty look.

 
“You can be impulsive, Hales. You just need the right partner in crime.” Hearing that as it left his mouth, he realized how permanent it sounded. “You’ve still got the wish to come,” he pointed out, chest a little tight. He cleared his throat and dropped her hand, sliding his back to his lap. “Want it early?”

  To his relief, she didn’t go all moony eyed and flutter her eyelashes at his slipup. “Hmm,” she said, stroking her chin like the best James Bond villain. “What evil plots could I concoct with my wish?”

  “Anything you want.”

  “Could you make Ethan’s hair fall out?” Her smile clung to sadness even as she attempted to move on.

  Damn it. Those eyes made him crazy.

  He made an impulsive choice. “Let me take you somewhere.”

  “Where now? Egypt to ride camels?” She pointed at him, horrified as she realized that could be where he was thinking. “No.”

  “Nowhere exotic. Just someplace I go that puts things in perspective.” He slid from his seat and held out a hand. “I guarantee it.”

  * * *

  He always made her feel good.

  That was the biggest difference between Ryder and Ethan, Hailey mused as she followed Ryder down the sidewalk, threading through pedestrians. It wasn’t his looks or the job.

  Ryder pushed her to explore her limits, made her have fun, never allowed her to take anything too seriously. He encouraged her without making her feel like a loser for needing encouragement. And he made her feel sexy and strong and every bit a powerful woman.

  His earlier words pushed at the knotted ball of feelings that had been sitting heavy in her stomach for seven months. Was he right? Was she assigning too much strength to Ethan’s words, just because they had a nugget of truth?

  Look at Ryder. He never had a problem with her lists and her notebooks and her preference to plan breakfast the night before—though he often changed the menu anyway and teased her out of any objections. He liked her. Of course they were only casual. No strings. No future.

  A small frown tugged at her forehead.