As Sick As Our Secrets

by Diane Ezzard

  Looking over on the sideboard, I noticed miniature replica lorries with the Darcy logo on the side. No wonder they could afford a house this size. That company is huge. Their vehicles could be seen the length and breadth of the country.

  “It’s been good speaking to you, Pauline. I am on your side. I’ll do what I can to help Charlie.” I didn’t tell her that I told Charlie I couldn’t do any more for him due to the threats I received.

  “I’ll leave you my number and I’ll let you know if I hear from Charlie again.”

  “Thanks, Sophie, It’s reassuring that he’s okay. I do worry about him though.” She ushered me out of the room.

  “He’s your son, of course, you’re going to worry. Any mother would.” We stood at the front door and I moved towards her intending to give her a hug but to my embarrassment, she held out a hand to shake mine. We said our goodbyes and Pauline closed the door. As I’d left my car on the road at the bottom of the walkway, I strolled back down the long drive, not knowing what to make of my encounter with Pauline.

  My intuition sensed that Trevor had something to hide and maybe Pauline too. I thought it might be an idea to monitor Trevor’s activities. When I arrived there were a red Porsche and a silver Mercedes parked outside the house. Now just the Mercedes stood there. If I followed him, I may have problems keeping up with a Porsche; I knew where both his hangouts were. I was glad now I hadn’t left my car outside. The Darcy’s didn’t know what car I drove which would help me stay incognito.

  My feet crunched as I walked along the gravel path. This had been an interesting meeting. I got to the big gates at the end of the drive and pressed the buzzer to leave. What a place? I wondered what it must have been like for Charlie living there, yet he moved out at a young age. I wouldn’t have moved anywhere living in a property like this one. Turning onto the pavement, I was just about to open my car door when I spotted another car pulling up. The electric gates opened to let the driver in.

  My breathing became accelerated. There was no mistaking who the driver was. What on earth was he doing here? Had he noticed me? I felt sure he had. I would definitely ask him about it next time I saw him. I was surprised but then I didn’t know much about Jack at all.

  Chapter 15

  SOPHIE

  I was getting too involved in things again but there was something in my nature that couldn’t help it. Call me inquisitive or just plain nosey, I found it hard not to meddle in other people’s business. At the moment, I had lots of unanswered questions. What was Charlie playing at? Did he like me? Did I have feelings for him? Did he kill Cassie? What was Jack doing at the Darcy home? Was Pauline Darcy hiding something? Then there was Trevor Darcy knowing Georgia. What was that about? No wonder I couldn’t sleep with all this going on in my head.

  Then there was Jack. That was another thing entirely. As much as I tried to deny it to myself, really fancied him and was intrigued what his connection was to the Darcy’s.

  Work had been in touch to see how I was. I let them know that I hoped to return at the end of my current sick note. I valued the time off. It allowed me to get a better perspective on my life. I knew now without any shadow of a doubt that I could no longer drink successfully. I enjoyed meeting up with Joyce to look at my behaviours and learn about the tools I needed to use to keep myself safe, away from alcohol. It wasn’t easy though.

  I thought I had learnt everything about myself from my time in rehab and also from taking my counselling degree course. Now I was learning a new way of living that in some respects was quite alien to me. I started on my own counselling sessions. It seemed strange to be sat on the other side of the therapy room.

  The meetings helped as well. When I talked about the resentments I had against my sister Steph, instead of people at the meeting supporting me and agreeing how awful she’d been with me, they told me to pray for her. They said if I couldn’t do that then to pray for the willingness to pray for her then keep praying for her every day until the resentment went. The funny thing was it worked. After a week of doing this, I realised she was no longer living rent-free in my head.

  By concerning myself with other people’s lives, it stopped me looking at how bad mine was. I decided I was going to investigate Trevor Darcy. Realising it would be best left until the evening; I made up my mind to follow him on his nocturnal outings. It wasn’t good for my stress levels. Then someone told me a certain amount of stress was good for you, so I justified doing it. Of course, I didn’t tell Joyce what I was doing. There was honesty and a hundred percent honesty. At the moment I felt she wouldn’t approve of my actions.

  I had been able to determine Trevor’s whereabouts for five nights a week. I drove up to the Con club and golf club each night and saw his car outside. His red Porsche was unmistakeable, so it wasn’t hard. He seemed to be a creature of habit going to the same place most nights. Twice a week to the golf club and three nights at the Con club but Pauline said he went out every night. So where was he the other two nights? I was going to have to follow him for those two nights.

  In the meantime, I had something of a surprise at my AA meeting this week. I was sat on the hard wooden chair that had been set out round in a circle in the church hall. I drank my tea. When I looked up, I saw Mia walking through the door. I was delighted to see her. I wasn’t sure if she would be embarrassed seeing me there. I deduced she was there for the same reason as I was, so I walked up to her to say hello.

  “Hi Mia, how are you?” I kissed her cheek.

  “Hello Sophie, I didn’t know you came here?”

  “Snap. I’ve been coming for a few weeks, how about you?”

  “I’ve been in and out for the last year. I’ve not been finding it easy. I’ve been sober now for two weeks.”

  “Well, it’s good to see you. Maybe we could meet up for coffee sometime?”

  “Yeah, that would be nice.” It was strange. Seeing her in this environment put a whole new slant on our relationship. Having something in common to talk about, made it easier to speak to her. She seemed more receptive to conversing with me. Jack hadn’t been at the meeting again this week. I hoped he was okay and wondered if he was working.

  My inquisitive nature got the better of me and the following Thursday, I left home just before seven and parked outside Trevor’s property in Whitefield. I had driven past once and been able to make out his red vehicle still parked up at the top of their driveway. I sat patiently for the next hour, waiting. I was glad I didn’t have to do this for a living. I was falling asleep when I heard the unmistakeable roar of his car engine approaching. I managed to duck down out of sight as he reached the gates to leave his residence.

  He set off along Ringley Road and I wondered if I was going to be able to keep up with his powerful machine, following in my tiny Fiat. Thankfully, it was a built-up area so traffic lights slowed him down. It started to rain. I was glad of this development as he was less likely to see me behind him. Going through Besses junction, he passed his two clubs, so wherever he was off to it wasn’t where his wife thought he was. Interesting!

  He came to the motorway junction, and I felt certain that had he turned onto the M60 I would have lost him but he continued up Bury New Road. He wasn’t driving fast, but he did weave in and out of traffic. We came to Hilton Road crossroads, and he jumped the lights. Damn. I couldn’t follow suit. I sat impatiently tapping the dashboard waiting for the lights to change.

  As the red light turned to amber, I put my foot down on the accelerator and motored forward. As I reached the bend going towards the Sedgley Park shops, I spotted the red coloured car just fading into the distance at the next bend. I tried to overtake the vehicle in front of me but he pulled out to block my path. I blasted my horn. I was in no mood for bad drivers.

  Trevor was getting away from me and there was nothing I could do about it. I continued up the main road through Salford towards Manchester, travelling as fast as I dared. I slowed my pace when I came to the speed cameras. I couldn’t afford a speeding fine o
r any more police involvement in my life at the moment. I couldn’t see him in front of me anymore. I hoped he hadn’t turned off anywhere.

  I knew this road well from my days travelling to Manchester to study, which meant knowing where all the speed cameras were. Travelling at speed heightened my awareness, and I still had to look out for any police vehicles parked up. I glanced at pedestrians as I sped by. Passing Strangeways Prison, the traffic built up, and I cocked my head out to the right as I contemplated whether to risk overtaking a bus. A car behind me sounded its horn as I weaved in and out, changing lanes. I got stuck behind a lorry and I impatiently tapped on the steering wheel.

  As I approached the city centre, I had to decide which direction to take. There was no sign of Trevor. I drove as far as Manchester Cathedral and realised I’d lost him. I turned up Chapel Street and onto Deansgate but my hopes faded as I got stuck in roadworks. I felt disheartened. I drove around Manchester for a while longer but I couldn’t see his car anywhere. This wasn’t as easy as it seemed on the films. Despondent, I had to resign myself to trying again on Sunday.

  A couple of days later I met up with Mia. Her earlier hostility towards me had disappeared. I asked her how Alfie was. Her mood was much lighter. She took out her phone and showed me pictures of him.

  “Oh isn’t he bonny?” I said. I tried to hide my surprise that he had dark skin.

  “If I’m not careful, I could lose him.”

  “What do you mean, Mia?”

  “Social services are investigating me. They think I’m an unfit mother. My mum has got a temporary order looking after him because of my drinking.”

  “Oh dear, Mia, what are you going to do?”

  “Easy, stop drinking.” I raised my eyebrows and tilted my head. I gave her a sad smile. We both knew it wasn’t going to be as easy as that.

  “Is Alfie’s dad not going for custody?” I asked. I watched Mia’s expression. It turned to one of sadness.

  “He’s not on the scene. I brought him up on my own.”

  “Oh, I see.” My palms were sweating.

  “But you know who the father is?”

  “There are a couple of guys it might be.”

  “I see. I’m sorry Mia. I’m not trying to pry.”

  “It’s okay. I don’t mind. I mean, it’s out in the open now what I was doing to earn money.”

  “The trouble is the two guys are worlds apart. One of them was a musical director and the other one you know.”

  “Oh?” I was curious. Mia nodded. “Yeah, it’s Randy.”

  “Randy,” I cried. We both looked around at my outburst but no one looked over at us. “Sorry, Mia, that shocked me.”

  “It shocked me too when I got pregnant. He has sex with most of the girls. Even though Georgia is his girlfriend, I suppose it’s a perk of the job. She doesn’t realise he’s both Randy by name and randy by nature.” I laughed and put my hand over my mouth.

  “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t laugh. So, does he know about Alfie?”

  “No, I left when I got pregnant and didn’t tell anyone. I managed to pay off my debts and thought I would be okay plus I don’t want him in my life on a permanent basis. He’s not the nicest of characters.”

  I thought about the pictures of Alfie I had seen and decided I could see a resemblance to Randy.

  “So, what are you going to do?”

  “I’ve spoken to them both recently and even though they are denying responsibility they’ve finally agreed to do a paternity test. Randy especially isn’t very pleased about it. He thinks I’m just after his money and he doesn’t believe me. He’s not an ideal father figure.”

  “But surely some of his money would help with Alfie’s upkeep?”

  “I’ll admit, I still struggle, financially. I’m not good with money and my drinking hasn’t helped but I don’t want to settle for dirty money.”

  We talked for some time. Mia had been honest with me so I trusted her. I told her what happened with Charlie.

  “You’re a dark horse. You kissed him!” She started laughing and put her hand over her mouth. Her eyes widened.

  “Shush, don’t tell everyone.” I smiled and scanned the cafe to make sure we weren’t being overheard.

  “So what are you planning to do about it?” she asked

  “Oh, I stopped it straight away. I don’t want it to go any further.” She viewed me suspiciously. Her eyes narrowed.

  “Honestly, I’m not getting involved with Charlie.” Mia smiled at me.

  “Yes, but he is a hunk.”

  “You seem to be overlooking the fact he’s still on the run accused of murder.” Mia’s expression became serious.

  “There’s something about Charlie I didn’t tell you before when we spoke.”

  “I’m all ears,” I said.

  “Cassie confided in me that she thought he was seeing someone else.”

  “Honestly?” My mouth gaped open like a large codfish.

  “Yes, she felt sure he was but hadn’t tackled him about it.”

  “And did she have any suspicions who he was seeing?”

  “No, she didn’t know that.”

  “So what do you think?”

  “It’s feasible.” The more that was revealed to me, the more I realised I didn’t know Cassie at all. She kept a lot from me. I folded my arms across my chest. It now seemed as though she had been playing me.

  “Well, that’s an interesting theory. He certainly hasn’t mentioned it to me.” The cogs were going round in my brain. “So if he was cheating on Cassie, it’s possible he’s still in touch with whoever it was.”

  Mia nodded. “Yeah, it’s possible.”

  “Interesting,” I nodded and took a sip of my hot drink.

  We chatted some more and when it was time to go, I promised to be in touch soon. We also committed to going to meetings together. It would be good if we both supported each other.

  Sunday came, and I’d been busying myself with housework, I nearly forgot the time and my decision to follow Trevor. I got to his home just before eight that evening, just in time to see him leaving his premises. He took the familiar route up Bury New Road. This time there were no traffic lights getting in the way of tailing him.

  We approached the centre of Manchester and I had a sneaking suspicion where he might be heading. I knew about the red light district up by Chorlton Street and that was where he was driving towards. As we approached Piccadilly, his indicator flicked on to turn into the NCP car park. I decided to stay in my car and hoped he came out the same way he went in.

  He did, and he walked along and opened the door to the brasserie on the corner by the Britannia Hotel. I had been driving along Portland Street watching him. I almost caused a crash myself as I took my eyes off the road. I’d just spotted someone else. Georgia was there to greet him at the entrance.

  As if that wasn’t enough surprise for one night, I turned the corner and spotted a car I recognised parked up. It was Jack’s. What was he doing here? As if I didn’t know although it did shock me. I hadn’t thought someone with his good looks would be seeking out call girls but then what did I know about his life.

  Chapter 16

  SOPHIE

  I went to my meeting the following night. Mia, Joyce and Jack were there. I felt uncomfortable around all three of them for different reasons. Mia, because I’d confided in her about what happened with Charlie, Joyce because I wasn’t being one hundred percent honest with her and Jack because I’d found out his dirty secret. Of the three, it was Jack I was most upset with. His behaviour disappointed me.

  I decided I wasn’t going to say much. I felt it was better for me just to listen. Generally, I felt better when I opened my mouth and spoke about what was on my mind but I didn’t feel able to today. I listened to Jack. He spoke about how much he had changed. He said that he used to treat women badly, but he was a completely different person now. He looked straight at me when he said this. I decided either he was just a bare-faced liar or he was so sick himsel
f that he was in complete denial about his behaviours.

  He came up to me at the end of the meeting.

  “Hi, Sophie. How are you doing?”

  “I’m okay.” I gave him a half smile and tried to turn away from him but he grabbed hold of my arm.

  “I saw you outside the Darcy’s house the other day. What were you doing there?” he whispered.

  “I could ask you the same question.” I was affronted by his tone.

  “Sophie, if you’re meddling in other people’s business then back off.” His voice was still soft. Mine was much louder.

  “Hark at the kettle calling the pot black.” At my raised voice, people turned their heads to look over at me. Joyce was one of them. She frowned. It made me wonder if I had done something wrong but I was angry with Jack. Joyce began to move towards me.

  “Is there something you want to talk about only I sense a certain amount of antagonism towards me?” Jack said with a pasted-on smile.

  “You should be so lucky. I wouldn’t even give you the time of day.” My voice was still raised. By now, Jack was frowning and looking perplexed and Joyce dragged me by the arm out of the door.

  “What’s got into you?” she asked.

  “Nothing.” I stood in silence with my arms folded.

  “Well when you want to talk about it, let me know.” Joyce walked off. That wasn’t what I’d expected. I thought she would be caring and considerate to my feelings not cold and aloof. I spotted Mia up by her car and I ran up to her.

  I needed to talk to someone and Mia seemed the type to be able to keep a secret. Joyce was too friendly with Jack so she wouldn’t believe me if I said anything bad about him. Plus, we weren’t on the best of terms now.

  Mia invited me round to her house for coffee. I was relieved to get the invitation. I followed behind her in my car and she pulled up outside a council flat on Hillock Estate in Whitefield. I noticed youths hanging around and I hoped my car would be safe outside. The corridor outside her door stank of stale urine and I almost heaved. We walked inside.