With Every Breath

by Maya Banks

  through, often falling back asleep after only the first few had gotten to talk to her. Wade didn’t know how aware of them she had been or if she would even remember their presence.

  Carefully, Eliza shook her head. Then she pursed her lips and Wade leaned forward, knowing there was something she wanted to say. He pulled her hand to his lips and simply pressed it against his mouth as he gazed at her with so much love in his heart that it was a physical ache.

  “Thomas?” she rasped out.

  Wade’s expression tightened. “Dead.”

  Relief washed through her eyes and for a moment she closed them and he thought he’d lost her again to unconsciousness. But then she reopened them, tears turning the beautiful green glossy.

  “Good,” she whispered.

  “Not happy about you taking a bullet for me,” he said in a tense voice that still reflected his vivid memory of the event.

  She half-smiled. “Didn’t figure you would be.”

  God, she seemed stronger now. After several days of drifting in and out, not even speaking after her first whispered, “Hi,” she seemed more determined to remain awake this time.

  “Swear to me you’ll never do anything so stupid again,” he demanded, or rather he intended it to be a command. It came out as a fervent plea, him begging her to never frighten him the way she’d frightened him again.

  Her smile was crooked now and she squeezed the hand he’d never once let go. “Can’t promise that.”

  Her words were labored and raspy and she sounded as though she were in pain. He leaned forward in concern.

  “Do you need the nurse?” he asked again. “You’re hurting, baby.”

  “No,” she said. “Need you to talk to me. Don’t want to sleep anymore. I hate sleeping. I feel so alone. It’s so dark.”

  She shivered as she spoke, and it nearly undid him.

  “You aren’t alone, baby. Never again. Do you understand that? I’m here. I’ll always be here. I’m not going anywhere so don’t get any ideas of getting rid of me. I’ll give you the moon, and there isn’t a damn thing I won’t do to make you happy, but what I will not do is ever leave you.”

  A tear trickled down her cheek and he tenderly wiped it away.

  “I couldn’t let him take you away from me,” she said painfully. “When you burst in, the last thing I was thinking about was guarding against his mental intrusion. I was so terrified. I wouldn’t have survived losing you and he got in because I lost focus, because I panicked and allowed him to see what you meant to me. He wanted to punish me, hurt me, by killing you and I couldn’t let him do that.”

  “Do you think I would have been any happier if you had died?” Wade asked, his voice cracking with emotion. “Do you not have even a clue how much I love you? How much I need you? That I am and have nothing without you? You are the only person I have ever loved, Eliza. The only person who has ever loved me. That kind of beauty can’t be lost once experienced. You couldn’t expect me to survive losing you. I wouldn’t have survived it.”

  “And I couldn’t have survived losing you,” she whispered.

  He sighed. “Don’t we make a fine pair. Bitching about not taking bullets for the other when we’ve both done exactly that because we love one another and can’t even begin to fathom our lives without one another. That’s rare, Eliza. That’s rare and precious. Just like you.”

  Her eyes shimmered with emotion at hearing the words he’d given her what seemed a lifetime ago. Words he’d meant absolutely.

  “I guess what we have is pretty special,” she murmured.

  “Bet your ass it is,” he said around the knot in his throat. “What do you think we should do about it?”

  She went pensive, exhaustion creeping in to her features. He thought she might fade away but she seemed to rouse herself and once more directed her full focus on him.

  “Are you going to demand that I quit my job?” she asked after a hesitation.

  He softened all over with love for his badass, justice-minded woman.

  “Not unless you continue with these suicide missions.”

  The corner of her mouth turned upward and relief flickered in her eyes. He kissed her hand again and became utterly serious when he said his next words.

  “I once told you that you stood for what’s right. That’s who you are, Eliza. And I wouldn’t change one single damn thing about you. Will I worry about you and bitch over some of the missions you take? Hell yeah. But I’ll never stand in your way or demand that you choose between me and something that is one of the biggest reasons I love you so much. I will, however, expect you to allow me to help when I need to help.”

  Eliza’s eyes were warm as she gazed back at him. “We do make a pretty good team, don’t we?”

  “Bet your ass,” he said again. “And speaking of team, they’re all here. I don’t know how much you remember, or if you remember them being here at all, but they’ve been camped out in the waiting room ever since you were brought into surgery. Dane has been worried sick. He loves you, Eliza, and he feels guilty for not doing more to shut you down before you took off for Oregon.”

  Eliza sighed, pain replacing the warmth in her eyes. “I’d like to see him. I need to apologize. What I did wasn’t cool. It was selfish. I made a lot of people who care about me worry. I was too focused on my own pain, fear and vengeance to realize that I was the one hurting the people I love.”

  “You were protecting the people you loved,” he gently corrected. “And yes, he’s here. I expect he’ll be in at the top of the hour when they allow the next visitor back.”

  She swallowed nervously and he squeezed her hand, kissing her knuckles.

  “Baby, he isn’t angry with you. None of them are. They just want to know you’re going to be okay. That’s all any of them want, especially Dane. Well, and I think he’d very much like to have his partner back. As long as he understands that you are no longer exclusively his.”

  He smiled as he said the last and delighted in her returning smile.

  “I think he already gets that,” she said ruefully.

  “So, are you going to put me out of my misery and make an honest man out of me?”

  She stared inquiringly at him. “Was that a rhetorical question? Because I’m pretty sure this is the first time the subject has been mentioned, or at least an actual question has been asked.”

  Damn but that was his Eliza. Sassy and sharp-tongued. Never missing a beat or an opportunity to bait him.

  “You know damn well I want forever,” he said gruffly. “And that means you and me having a ceremony with everyone who means anything to us in attendance that will make me want to crawl out of my skin in discomfort but will suffer through because the end result is you. You being mine in every way possible. Forever.”

  “I want forever too,” she said, an ache to her voice. “I love you so much, Wade. I think I’ve loved you for a long time, but you scared me. I was scared to love you.”

  “Me too, baby. Me too. We can be scared together.”

  “And yeah, I’m going to make an honest man out of you. In more ways than one,” she said, her eyes narrowing. “Don’t think I don’t know about some of your ‘business practices.’ You’re about to clean up your act, Wade Sterling.”

  He threw back his head and laughed. God, it felt so damn good when he thought he’d never laugh again. Never have reason to be happy. When the most precious thing in the world to him had nearly been taken from him.

  When he stopped laughing, he leaned over and brushed his lips over hers, tasting her sweetness, inhaling it, absorbing it into every part of him. So she became the air he breathed.

  “As soon as you’re out of this place, I’m taking you home and we’re getting married. I don’t care if I have to carry you down the aisle. I’m not waiting.”

  She lifted one brow. “You in a hurry?”

  “Hell yes, I’m in a hurry. I don’t want to give you any time to change your mind and back out. The sooner I get my ring on your
finger the better I’ll feel.”

  “In that case, I guess I better set my mind to getting out of this damn hospital as fast as I can,” she said teasingly. “That way you don’t have time to get cold feet and change your mind.”

  “That will never happen,” he said fiercely. “You’re stuck with me forever. Every rotten, bad tempered, impatient part of me.”

  Her smile lit up the entire room and she slowly pulled his hand to her mouth so she could kiss his palm.

  “Guess it’s lucky for you that I’m wildly in love with rotten, bad tempered and impatient.”

  EPILOGUE

  ELIZA eased down in the comfortable chair, careful not to wrinkle her wedding gown. She still wasn’t fully recovered and had only been out of the hospital for four weeks, four weeks where Wade hovered and refused to allow her to lift so much as a finger. As adamant as he had been in the hospital that they marry the moment she was released, he’d done a complete one eighty and argued that they should wait until she was stronger.

  She was just as determined they marry as soon as possible. She belonged. She was loved. And she was deathly afraid that one morning she would wake up and it would have been just a dream.

  She gazed at her reflection in the mirror, stunned that the pretty, feminine face looking back at her was really her. She’d asked Gracie, Ari, Ramie and Tori to give her a moment alone. The women had overwhelmed her, sharing in the excitement and joy of the day. Gracie had teased her and said that only Eliza ever had a hope of taming Wade while Ari had dryly commented that only a man like Wade ever had a hope of taming Eliza.

  The preparations had exhausted her, though she’d never admit to it. Wade would have called off the wedding, or worse, he would have had her in bed and brought in a justice of the peace to marry them so Eliza wouldn’t overexert herself. This was her wedding day. A day she’d dreamed of since she was a little girl fantasizing about a fairy tale ceremony and marrying her knight in shining armor. There was no way she was forgoing something she’d resigned herself to never having.

  A soft knock sounded at the door and she called out a come in. She slowly turned, surprised to see Dane enter the bridal chamber. She swallowed hard. She and Dane hadn’t had the opportunity to really talk since she’d been shot a month ago. Wade had surrounded her, ensuring her every comfort and need and any visits from her coworkers were light and brief.

  She couldn’t bring herself to meet his gaze, guilt heavy in her heart.

  “You look beautiful, Lizzie,” Dane said quietly. “Just as a bride should.”

  She lifted her head, tears obscuring her vision. “I’m so sorry, Dane.”

  His expression immediately became one of concern. He crossed the distance and sat down in the chair across from her. He collected her hands in his, squeezing in a comforting manner.

  “Why are you sorry?”

  “For deceiving you. For lying to you. For not trusting you and coming to you from the start. For not being honest with you from the start. You are my dearest friend, but I haven’t been a friend to you.”

  “Lizzie,” he said gently.

  She refused to look at him.

  He cupped her chin and forced her to look at him. “Lizzie, look at me.”

  Reluctantly she once more met his gaze and her heart squeezed when she saw the camaraderie, the unconditional support, the friendship reflected in his eyes.

  “Do I wish you had come to me? Do I wish you had told me about your past when we started working together? Absolutely. But I understand. You need to know something, though. Never. Never have I thought less of you. You are one of the strongest persons I’ve ever met. And there is no one I’d rather have at my back than you and nothing will ever change that.”

  He leaned forward, gathering both her hands in his. “Know this, Lizzie. I will always have your back. If you ever need a friend, help or just a shoulder to cry on, I’ll always be there.”

  “Damn it, Dane, if you make me cry and ruin my makeup, I’ll kick your ass.”

  “Hate to tell you but you’re hardly in any condition to kick a toddler’s ass.”

  She glared at him and he scowled in response.

  “You should still be in bed recovering. Stubborn fool woman. No idea what you’re thinking getting married so soon after getting out of the hospital. You’ll be lucky if you make it down the aisle. Wade should have damn well handcuffed you to your sick bed.”

  “One overbearing alpha male is quite enough,” she muttered.

  “You aren’t walking down that aisle alone, Lizzie.”

  Her eyes widened in surprise. “What?”

  “I know you planned to walk the aisle by yourself because you don’t have a father to give you away. Not going to happen. I’m giving you away and it’s not open to negotiation.”

  A knot formed in Eliza’s throat and she tried in vain to swallow the obstruction. The tears she’d tried so hard to keep at bay trickled down her cheeks. Makeup be damned.

  “You truly are my dearest friend,” she whispered. “There’s no one I’d rather walk me down the aisle than you.”

  To Eliza’s shock, she saw a glimmer of moisture in Dane’s eyes. His hold on her hands tightened.

  “He’s a good man, Lizzie. I admit we had our differences but we have one thing in common. The most important thing. We both care very much for you. I know he’ll take care of you and protect you when I’m not doing it on the job.”

  Another knock on the door sounded and Tori peeked her head in. She flushed in embarrassment when she saw Dane was inside with Eliza.

  “I’m sorry to interrupt,” she said nervously. “But it’s time, Eliza. Gracie, Ari and Ramie are lined up and I have to hurry back so I don’t hold up the ceremony. You’ve got two minutes.”

  “Thank you, Tori,” Eliza said with a smile. “And thank you for standing up for me.”

  Tori smiled back. “You’re important to us all, Eliza. You’ve done so much for us all. How could we not be present on your big day?”

  With another quick glance at Dane, she hastily ducked from the doorway, shutting it behind her.

  Dane stood and then assisted Eliza to her feet. “You ready, Lizzie?”

  She smiled. “I’ve never been more ready in my life.”

  He walked her slowly out of the bridal chamber, the same room Gracie had waited in when she married Zack. Who would have thought that Eliza would follow suit? If someone would have told her she would be getting married so soon after Gracie she would have laughed herself silly.

  Eliza paced herself, hating the lingering weakness and how quickly she fatigued. It seemed to take forever to get into the vestibule and to the closed doors leading into the sanctuary.

  “Take your time,” Dane murmured. “Whether you want to admit it or not, you shouldn’t even be on your feet much less going through a ceremony and reception.”

  She bared her teeth, impatience gnawing at her. She wanted the doors to open so she could see Wade and assure herself he hadn’t changed his mind. Just as she was getting positively jittery, music swelled and reverberated through the church. The doors opened and she realized she’d been holding her breath. Her gaze immediately locked onto Wade and all the air escaped her lungs leaving her shaken.

  He was here. He loved her. He was marrying her.

  She paid no heed to the tears streaming down her cheeks as she made her first haltering step on Dane’s arm. She had eyes for no one but Wade.

  Wade stared, utterly transfixed by the vision of his bride slowly making her way toward him, Dane hovering close by to ensure she didn’t fall. Damn it but she hadn’t sufficiently healed enough to even be out of bed much less endure a wedding ceremony. Wait, the plan was for her to walk by herself down the aisle, a plan he’d been vehemently opposed to. Apparently Dane hadn’t been any fonder of the idea than Wade had been. He grudgingly gave the man credit for looking out for Eliza when she was being too stubborn for her own good. The fool woman was convinced that Wade would change his mind and no lon
ger want to marry her. As if!

  Good intentions or not, no way in hell another man was walking his bride down the aisle. Wade strode down the aisle, ignoring the sounds of surprise and laughter as he closed in on Dane and Eliza. He stopped in front of them, ignoring the confused look on Eliza’s face.

  “Thank you for seeing after Eliza,” Wade said to Dane. “But that is my duty, my honor and my pleasure.”

  Without another word, he swept the open-mouthed bride into his arms, ever mindful of her still-healing injury, and carried her the rest of the way to the floral arch where the pastor stood, trying—and failing—to suppress his amusement.

  “Wade,” Eliza hissed. “Put me down!”

  “I like you just where you are,” he said firmly. He looked at the preacher, indicating with a nod for him to proceed.

  Nestled securely in his arms, her cheek resting against his chest, Eliza married her knight in shining armor. Never once did his hold waver. They recited their vows, gazes locked. It was as if the pastor didn’t exist. Those gathered faded into the background and there were only the two of them.

  When it came time to recite their vows, Wade had a surprise for Eliza. Forgoing the traditional vows, he instead looked deeply into her eyes and in a gruff, emotional voice, he said, “Never did I imagine finding the other half of my heart and soul. Never did I believe in the concept of soul mates or there being only one able to complete another. I’m not worthy of you, Eliza. You are everything I’m not. You stand for what’s right. You’re rare and precious. And you have the most loving, loyal heart of anyone I’ve ever known. Though I’ll never be worthy of your love, your goodness and your heart, know this. No one will ever love you more than I will. Never will there be a more precious, spoiled and pampered woman. Every single day of my life will be spent doing whatever it takes to make you happy and I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to be worthy of you. I love you, Eliza. Yesterday, today, tomorrow, forever, eternity. There will never be another I love as I love you. I know it’s traditional to say until death do us part, but I refuse to let you go even in death. Long after our lives here are done, our love will live on. Strong, enduring, everlasting. In sickness and in health, in good times and bad. I will always be at your side.”

  Eliza wasn’t the only one who cried at her wedding. There wasn’t a dry eye in the entire church. Even Eliza’s male teammates were seen discreetly wiping at the corners of their eyes.

  And since he’d already defied convention by carrying his bride up the aisle, as soon as Wade and Eliza were pronounced man and wife, he kissed her until even the pastor grew fidgety and then he promptly carried his new wife back down the aisle and into the waiting limousine.

  Wade had already told Dane not to expect Eliza back to work for three months, as he was taking her on an extended honeymoon. A very extended honeymoon.

  He just hadn’t yet informed his new bride of that minor detail, and it caused much amusement in the DSS offices as to Eliza’s reaction when she learned she was on an extended leave of absence.