by J. P. James
“A little dramatic, but that’s a start. Go on,” he says. I tuck my knees up into my chest.
“I just feel so betrayed by everyone,” I admit, my expression screwed up in pain. I bury my face in my knees and rock back and forth.
“By BJ,” Vance says for clarification. I nod, and then shake my head.
“No, by everyone. By Blake too,” I admit. “It’s been a fucking shitshow.”
Vance nods thoughtfully, just thinking. I haven’t admitted to anyone how much Blake hurt me. It feels good to admit it out loud, like I’ve let something out that was pent up. I told Vance all about Blake after the story broke, but since then, I haven’t said his name out loud. It would be too painful.
Vance heaves another sigh, and lets it out loudly. “BJ can go to hell. The next time I see him, I’m going to use my second-degree black belt on his ass.” He positions his hands like he’s ready to face a ninja.
“You don’t have a black belt, Vance,” I remind him.
“For him, I’d earn one,” he says confidently. “That’s how much you mean to me, Chase. No one hurts my best friend.”
“Thanks, Vance. I appreciate it,” I tell him.
We sit in silence for a moment before Vance turns towards me. “Remind me again - why do you feel betrayed by Blake?” he asks. “Last time you were blubbering so much that I couldn’t hear everything.”
Where do I begin? There are so many reasons, and they all hurt too much.
“Do you feel like you’ve ever really known a man?” I begin.
Vance pushes his tongue against his cheek, considering my question.
“No, but I don’t pretend to understand men. They’ll confuse me until the day I die, and that’s alright with me,” he says. He smiles sweetly as tears well up in my eyes again.
“Well, I felt like I really knew Blake. At least, that’s what he made me feel like. I trusted everything he said and did. I didn’t even question it. He made me feel like I really mattered,” I say, letting my shattered dreams fall from my mouth. I finally stop, on the verge of collapse. “But if that’s the case, then why didn’t he tell me the story was coming out? He knew BJ was my boyfriend, and he’s been keeping this from me our entire relationship,” I say as the sadness in my voice turns to rage. I choke up, and it’s enough to crack my voice. Vance waits for me to calm down before speaking again.
“Take your time, Chase. Get it all out,” he says soothingly. The waves of despair come slower and further apart. Finally, I catch a break and clear my throat.
“I know we haven’t known each other that long. Still, Blake and I had a connection. I loved him so much more than I ever loved BJ, but now, I just feel stupid. Blake has always been a businessman and it feels like this whole thing was just a business transaction,” I admit.
Vance reaches for a box of tissues and hands it to me. I blow into a tissue and throw it in the trash bin. He nods for me to continue.
“Why didn’t he tell me the story was coming out? He knew I cared for him, even if BJ and I didn’t work out. The whole reason we met was because of BJ’s fundraiser, for crying out loud!” I say in a pained voice.
My voice cracks from the hurt, and I sit up and bury my face in my arms. Vance sighs and leans his head back on the couch.
“I know you’re hurt, Chase. You care for both of them so much, and they’ve both gone behind your back. BJ with the dick pics, and Blake because he kept you in the dark. It’s painful, I know, because you have such a big heart.”
I manage to get a hold of myself and stop sobbing. But Vance looks pensive. “I think Blake cares about you, but he shows it in a different way. Remember, I’m a stylist with no expertise in politics, but it seems like scandal is always around the corner. Blake wanted to protect you from that, and keeping you in the dark is the only way he knew how,” he reasons. “I mean, why did it feel transactional to you?”
I stammer for a bit. “I mean, maybe not transactional, but pre-planned. Like he had it all mapped out, step by step, and I was just the fall boy.”
Vance squinches his forehead.
“The fall boy? But you didn’t take a fall. It’s BJ who’s screwed. That guy doesn’t have a career anymore.”
I shake my head. “I know, but it just doesn’t feel like we’re partners, you know? Partners know everything about one another, and that wasn’t the case with me and Blake. He made an executive decision, and I was left to live with it. There was no negotiating, no bargaining, and certainly, no quarter given. Everything just happened his way.”
Vance looks thoughtful.
“But don’t you think it turned out for the better? I mean, what would you have done, if you knew that BJ was sending obscene pics to minors?”
I stop. “I’m not sure.”
Vance’s eyebrows go up. “See? You don’t even know what you would have done.”
I sit upright indignantly. “I would have gone to the police! I would have turned him in,” I say stoutly.
Vance just shakes his head. “Come on Chase. I know you. You were in a relationship with that guy, and there’s no way you would have turned him in. You would have begged him to stop, and he would promise to stop. But then he’d start all over again, driving you crazy. It’s an addiction, get it? And the thing is, you would have been pulled into a downward spiral. You have a soft heart, Chase. You would never have been able to turn him in,” Vance says matter of factly.
I stare at him.
“You think so?”
Vance nods seriously. “I know so, pretty boy. That kind of shit is compulsive. I mean, sending dick pics to total strangers, who are also underage? It’s completely crazy, not to mention suicidal when you’re a politician. Addiction is the only explanation, and you would have been sucked down the drain with him.”
That makes me pause.
“So you think keeping me in the dark was the right move then.”
My best friend nods.
“Yeah, I think Blake made the right decision, homeboy. It hurts to hear, I know, but I think the CEO knows what he’s doing. He’s been around the block a couple times now, and has a better understanding of people than you or I. Us? We’re just newbies compared to him.”
Vance’s statements make me sit back and think. Could my friend be right? Is BJ caught in some sort of vicious cycle, where he can’t stop his actions? And is it true that I would have tried to help him, instead of distancing myself from this clusterfuck?
Suddenly, I realize that it is true. Addiction is the only way to explain BJ’s crazy actions. When someone does something to their detriment, over and over again, even knowing the consequences, that’s the ugly face of addiction. And BJ has it, even if it’s the on-line version of the disease.
“Thanks,” I say in a quiet voice. “I appreciated that.”
Vance glances at me.
“No problem, homeboy. But tell me – what are you going to do about it?”
I think for a moment before sitting up resolutely. “I need to talk to him. I need to tell him what I’m thinking, and how my reasoning has changed.
Vance cuts me off. “Him, being Blake right. Not BJ?”
I stare at him. “Of course not BJ. Of course I mean Blake.”
Vance chuckles and throws up his hands. “Just checking loverboy. Sometimes, you never know what’s going through that pretty head of yours.”
I stand up swiftly. “I need to go,” are my hurried words. “Catch you later.”
Vance waves me off. “Good luck, buddy. You’re going to need it.” As I shut the front door behind me, my friend’s words linger. I just wish that they weren’t true, and that it was love, and not luck, guiding my way.
15
Chase
Despite my efforts to find Blake last night, it was all for naught. The billionaire wasn’t at his home, and I was too worked up to go to the office. Besides, what would that have looked like? Blake is probably doing damage control from the tell-all headlines, and I would have just been in the way.
So I forced myself to calm down and go to bed, before heading back to The Post this morning.
“Good morning,” Lyla greets as I make my way up the stairs.
“Good morning,” I mumble.
“You okay?” she asks hesitantly. As my assistant, she knows everything, in addition to being incredibly intuitive.
“Yeah, I’m okay,” I mutter. We walk up the stairs before she passes me some folders. “Editorial wanted me to hand these leads off to you. You can’t start for another week, but if any of these sound like a story, they say it’s yours,” she says.
I open up the folders and scan the pages, nodding at the suggestions.
“Thanks,” I say.
“Just let me know how I can help, okay?” she asks with concern. “I’ll be waiting.”
I nod. “Will do.”
At that moment, Blake emerges from his office. He and I make immediate eye contact, and as usual, my knees go weak. Is it possible he’s even more handsome than I remember? His hair glistens black in the light, and those blue eyes penetrate my entire being. I gasp a bit before trying to mask my reaction.
“Good morning,” he says in a calm voice while striding over. “How are you?”
I nod to Lyla, who nods in response, and then slinks off. She knows this conversation isn’t about her.
“Mr. King,” I say formally, “can we speak in your office?”
He pauses for a moment and then inclines his head. “Certainly.”
We both walk over to the corner office and step inside, shutting the door firmly.
“So what can I do for you?” he asks, taking a seat in his big desk chair and lounging back.
I take a deep breath before looking him straight in the eye. His eyes have darkened so that they’re almost cobalt, and they make me dizzy with their intensity. But I have to get this out because it’s important.
“I wasn’t fair to you,” are my slow words. “You were protecting me the only way you knew how. I felt betrayed because I wanted it to be about me, but I’ve realized that it was about me. You were protecting me by keeping the horses in the barn until the last moment.”
The CEO is unmoving.
“And how did you come to this conclusion?”
I’m honest. “I talked with my roommate about it, and he said that BJ probably has addiction issues. It sounds crazy, but it’s like an on-line porn addiction, except he sends dick pics to random strangers. My roommate said that if I’d known about it, I would have tried to help BJ, and that would have gotten me sucked into the storm.”
Blake nods thoughtfully.
“Yes, he’s right. Are we talking about your messy roommate by the way?”
I laugh a little, although it almost sounds like a sob.
“Yeah, Vance is a slob. But he’s smart, and he’s the one who made me see the light.”
Blake nods again. “Well, he’s right. I know you well, and so does he. We both think that you would have tried to help BJ if you’d known. It would have just made things worse, instead of better. People with addiction can’t be reasoned with, Chase. But with your soft heart, you would have tried everything to get him onto the straight and narrow.”
I nod, looking down.
“I know.” But then I take a deep breath and look up. “But I do believe that addiction is a disease and should be treated. BJ is going to lose his career, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t deserve medical and psychological care. Someone has to help him, even if it isn’t me.”
Blake nods. “Agreed. But it can’t be you because it would hurt you too much. Plus, you don’t owe him anything. Does that resonate with you?”
I think for a moment before nodding slowly. “You’re right that I don’t owe him anything. I’m just saying that someone needs to help him, and I’d like that person to be you.”
I’ve just dropped a nuclear bomb and Blake looks stunned.
“What? What are you talking about?” he stammers.
I nod again. “BJ needs help. He’s been making awful decisions, and as you said, he’s in the throes of addiction. He needs someone to help him, whether it’s with getting him to a psychiatrist, or helping him find a lawyer. You know the prosecutor’s going to look into this, and you can help him, Blake.”
My lover is stunned. “Why me?”
I shrug. “You have all the resources. Even more, you’re able to anticipate things that other people would never see. For me, Blake. Do this for me. Help my ex-boyfriend, not because he has no one else, but because he’s a human being who deserves a bit of kindness. Help him because you love me.”
There. The words are out, and my heart’s beating like a drum in my chest. Is Blake going to reject me? Is he going to refuse to help BJ, and thereby deny his love for me? But instead, the billionaire laughs and looks at me with a sparkle in his eye.
“You know Chase, you are the most incredible young man. I never thought I’d meet someone like you.”
I stare at him. “So will you help BJ?”
Blake throws his hands up. “I will, but because of you, and not because of him. Because you see, Chase Adams, I love you, and that means more than the world to me. I’ll lift mountains and fight off hungry bears if that’s what it takes.”
Relief mixed with adoration flood my veins.
“You love me?” I say in a whisper, hardly believing the words.
Blake nods. “With everything that I am.”
And with that, I get up, step around the desk, and press a kiss to the billionaire’s lips. Our lips meet with hunger, respect, and most of all, adoration.
“I love you too, Blake King. You’re everything to me. I haven’t navigated this situation very well, and I want to say thank you for sticking by me,” are my rushed words.
The CEO merely chuckles and runs one big hand up my inner thigh. I’m instantly hard and aware of him.
“No problem, my love. Just one more thing – when do I get to meet your roommate? This Vance person sounds like a mess, but he also has some really great insights. And I owe him one for bringing you back to me.”
We laugh together then, our voices mixing and mingling with joy because this is how things were meant to be. I met a man at work that I never should have dated. He was older, confident and assured, as well as filthy rich and my boss. But somehow, things have a way of working out. Blake showed his true nature, which is assertive and dominant, yet also thoughtful and compassionate, with respect for who I am and what I want. I love him with every fiber of my being, and am lucky to have a blessed future with this wonderful man.
Epilogue
Chase
“Blake! Harder! Faster! More!” I grunt as his cock surges in and out of my ass. He has me bent over the edge of the bed. I grip the sheets as his dick drives into me, almost lifting me off my toes. He pushes and pulls until his throbbing sex sends me over the edge. My ass clenches and clamps, milking that shaft hard, as I careen over the edge and soar into space. He leans forward to kiss the small of my back as his thrusts slow a bit.
“Don’t worry, my little fucktoy. I’ll always give you everything you need and more,” he grunts. He pulls his cock out of me before leaning down to kiss my anus with soft lips. Oh my god, my boyfriend is so dirty. I yelp and moan at the sensation, suddenly ready for more. Grinning he flips me over, and I just lie there spread out on my back, letting him take me in.
Sometimes, Blake’s virility surprises me, although I shouldn’t be shocked. For a man twice my age, he sure knows how to stay active. He lifts my legs and rests them on his shoulders. Then he kisses my ankles, stroking them gently with his square hands.
“You look like you could use some more,” he growls.
I smile knowingly. “From you? Of course.”
In answer, he takes his cock and eases it into my ass again. My back arches a bit as my eyes flutter closed. Oh my god. It feels almost too good to be true. I moan as he reaches one of his hands to my sex and grips it in his fist, working the hot shaft.
&nbs
p; “Come with me baby,” he growls. “Come to Daddy.”
He moves slowly and deeply into me. His face twists as he moans with me, and I feel the tension building again. My cock twitches, and simultaneously we come. Just as his pole squirts into my back channel, I spurt hard, pumping sperm over both our chests. We gasp together, climaxing in unison as our balls drain dry.
After it’s over, we lay together, skin to skin and so comfortable. It’s been a year since the article came out, and so much has changed. It was crazy at first. BJ, obviously, terminated his candidacy, and a very qualified woman was elected mayor instead. True to his word, Blake got BJ into a residential program for sex addicts after everything went down. I didn’t even know such places existed, but BJ’s been there for a while now. I hope he comes out of it sane, normal, and ready to start his life over.
As for me, I’ve moved into Blake’s penthouse. It wasn’t hard to make the move. After all, my old apartment was so shabby and rundown compared to the luxury my lover lives in. But it was hard to leave Vance.
“Really, homeboy?” he asked. “You’re taking off?”
“I am,” I said with a grin. “You know, onto bigger and better things.”
Vance looked like he was going to snap out a funny retort, but then, he merely smiled gently. “I’ll miss you, Chase. Don’t be a stranger, okay?”
With tears in my eyes, we hugged.
“I won’t,” I promised. “Besides, I’m only twenty minutes away.”
It was hard, but it was the right thing to do. Plus, my lover and my best friend get along great. They joke and laugh all day, and Blake has even hired Vance to be his personal stylist. Who would have thought?
Suddenly, my boyfriend reaches over to the bedside table and opens it, fumbling inside for something.
“What are you looking for?” I ask. “I have everything here,” I say, pointing to the condoms and lube. Maybe he’s looking for a toy of some sort. Mmm, we have such a spicy sex life.
But suddenly, Blake is down on one knee, holding a beautiful silver band in one hand. It sparkles in the early morning light, making me gasp. His eyes are the bluest they’ve ever been as he looks straight at me.