by Eve R. Hart
That was the moment that my mom’s words hit me. I won’t lie, there were moments I wondered if I could do the single dad thing. But figuring that I had no choice in the matter, I made it work. I did the best I could. I’d never questioned if it was everything he needed until then. However, it wasn’t enough for me to ever want to entertain the idea of letting another woman close enough to fuck up our lives again.
“I guess I’ll just wear this,” he said letting out a resigned sigh. I had to chuckle at that. Sometimes he seemed so grown-up. He slipped on the not-good-enough shirt while I dug through to find some jeans and prayed like hell that they were the right ones. “Thanks, dad.” He gave me a tiny smile as he took the pants out of my hands. Cute as fuck that kid was.
“No problem, buddy,” I said as I stood and ruffled his mop of huge curls.
When I looked at him all I saw was myself. I thanked God for that. He was like a mini-me with his solid build and steel eyes. Even the light brown hair with honeyed highlights was exactly like mine. The only thing that I could tell he got from his mother was the slightly lighter tint to his skin and the few freckles that dotted the bridge of his nose.
“You think Fate will be awake when we get there? You think Auntie Ellie will let me hold her?” he asked taking my hand as we stepped off the porch and started walking up the road to Diesel and Ellie’s house.
I had no idea what it was about that baby, but since the moment she was born he had this need to always make sure she was alright. I was a little nervous the first time he held her, she wasn’t even a week old, but Ellie assured me he’d be fine. And I’ll be damned if he wasn’t because the moment he sat down on that couch and Ellie placed Fate in his arms, he was the calmest I’d ever fucking seen him. He was like that every time with her. I half-joked to Diesel all the time about putting one of those baby front packs on Grass and letting him carry her around everywhere just to keep him from getting into shit.
In the back of my mind, I was terrified he would ask me for a baby sister, or brother. That was a conversation I wasn’t ready to have because I knew I’d have to disappoint him with my answer.
CHAPTER TWO
Tank
“Hey man,” Diesel said as he walked up from around the side of the house.
I was sitting out in the backyard, tinkering with my bike, like always. The sun had gone down hours ago and Grass was long asleep in his bed, having crashed hard from all the sugar that Ethel had fed him at Diesel’s house after dinner. Diesel was the Sergent at Arms for the club and also one of my closest friends. Ethel was Reagan’s grandma, and Reagan was Loch’s old lady. Loch also happened to be the club’s vice president.
“Would have been over sooner, but Fate didn’t want to go down.” Diesel plopped his big, tattooed body down in the chair next to mine.
Fate had just turned three months old and she was the apple of Diesel’s eye. He and his old lady, Ellie, had a pretty crazy story. But what was more crazy and weird, was seeing Diesel happily settled down. Ellie was the best kind of woman, and I think on some days my little boy liked her more than he did me. But that was alright with me.
Until Fate came along, Grass was the youngest kid in the club. He was always trying to prove himself, always pushing the limits. That kid gave me a damn heart attack nearly every day. I felt like I couldn’t take my eyes off him. If I turned around for a second he was getting into something. That was how he got his nickname. Because his ass was damn grass on a daily occurrence for not listening to me. But I loved him and he made my life complete in a way I never thought possible.
Before Grass came along, I thought I had it all. But nothing could compare to the unconditional love of a child. As frustrating as he could be at times, that kid was my heart and my happiness. I was damn lucky to have him.
“No worries, man. I haven’t been out here long,” I said opening a beer and handing it to him.
We both sat there in silence staring up at the dark sky. Diesel wasn’t one for talking. Most of the time, trying to have a conversation with him was like I was talking to myself. But that was okay because he knew when to say the right things and that was all that mattered. Although, I have to admit that he’d opened up more now that he had Ellie.
“How’s your mom?” he asked after what felt like an eternity of quiet.
“She’s good.” I took a sip of my beer then rested the bottle back on my knee. “Gave me more shit about findin’ a woman.” I didn’t even try to hide the grumble.
“They can be worth it, ya know,” he said nodding his head.
Now, I wasn’t one to be envious, ever. So when I say that I was happy for him that he’d found Ellie, I truly meant that shit from the bottom of my heart. And while I had a bad taste in my mouth when it came to most women, I couldn’t say that I didn’t get a very tiny twinge in my heart when Ellie looked at him. A very, very small twinge. Not enough for me to ever change my mind because I had been too tainted.
“So, what do you think the club is gonna do next?” I asked, changing the subject.
At the moment, the club had one enemy. We’d gone many years with still waters and deep down, I think all of us knew something like this was bound to happen. Savage was the leader of the Devil’s Kings MC. He’d been coming after us and without sugar coating it, we were being pansies about it. Yeah, I know, shit thing to say about my brothers, but that was how I felt. Cal, the club’s president, was a planner. He liked to see every angle and every possible outcome. He liked to go in knowing everything there was to know.
That was the problem. We couldn’t find jack shit on Savage and he always seemed to have the upper hand. Not too long ago he took one of our own, Stone. If there was ever a time to strike out and get revenge and end this shit, that should have been it.
Only we didn’t. Instead, we went on lockdown and in a sense, hid with our tails tucked. While I wanted to go in half-cocked, Cal held back. As pissed as I was, I understood his decision and that was why he made a good leader. When the time came for us to strike, we’d be ready and he knew then wasn’t the time.
Didn’t mean I liked it. Didn’t mean I love with sitting back. But I was behind Cal and the club and I would always stand by their side. So, for the time being, we were off lockdown but weren’t safe. There was a big fucking cloud hanging over every single one of us. And the shit part was, we still had to work for the motherfucker. For lack of a better term, we were his bitches.
“I don’t know, brother,” he said blowing out a harsh breath. “I get the feeling that Cal’s gearing up for war. I think he gets that we are all getting antsy and knows we aren’t goin’ to sit around much longer. I know that he’s the prez of the head chapter, but I get the feeling like the other chapters are pushing for something. I can tell it’s wearing on him, too.”
“Yeah, I see that. I just want all this shit to be over. It’s not safe. I feel like I can’t even walk out of my house without looking over my shoulder.” I swallowed hard thinking about my family. “This isn’t the life I wanted for Grass…and my sisters…I just can’t stand sittin’ here feeling helpless with the weight that I can’t protect them on my shoulders.”
That was the truth and I knew Diesel felt the same. He’d taken Stone’s death hard, feeling like it was all his fault. That led him down a hard path of feeling like this life wasn’t good enough for Ellie and his daughter.
“I know, I get it. I just have to trust that when the time is right it will happen. That one day this will be over.” He took a long pull of his beer as he stared off into the distance. “And in the meantime, never let your guard do—”
Whatever else he was about to say was cutoff by a blast that shook the ground as the sound of a glass window being blown out filled the air. On instinct, we both dropped out of our chairs, crouching low to the ground as we reached for our guns. I turned to see flames dancing out of the upstairs window on the back of my house and my heart dropped.
“Logan!” I roared as I took off for the back stairs.
“Tank!” Diesel barked like his words were somehow going to stop me and I could hear his feet pounding the ground behind me. My son was in that house, in that very room that was on fire. “Stop! Wait!”
But I didn’t heed at his words. No way in hell. However, I was a big dude and didn’t move as fast as him. So I wasn’t all that surprised when his arm suddenly went around my neck, attempting to drag me back. But it was like taking down, well, a tank and I kept going only slowed down slightly by the extra weight.
“Dammit, Tank. Use your head, don’t just rush in there,” he growled in my ear.
“My fucking son is in there, Diesel!” I growled back and paused long enough to ram my elbow into his ribs, effectively getting him to drop off of me. I didn’t even feel a little bit bad about it. I knew he would have done the same if it were Ellie and Fate.
But then there was a loud, deafening boom before I could reach the back door. Glass, wood, and metal came flying at me faster than I could raise my arms to shield myself. Then, like in a damn action movie a chain of bombs went off, blowing out what was left of my house. The blast was enough to send me airborne off the back steps.
Before I could catch my breath, I realized I was covered in rubble. The weight of it all crushing me, and not just the weight of what I was buried under. I felt dizzy, and as I tried to fight against it, my arm and face started to feel warm. That was when I realized there was no way out of this, I was about to burn. And the thought that I no longer had my son, that he was already dead, filled my head and I let the darkness claim me without another second of fighting it.
Because without him, I had nothing.
CHAPTER THREE
Nadya
I hated being stuck in one place. I was lucky in that my jobs took me all over and gave me the freedom to never be tied down. My home was my bike. My nineteen ninety-three Harley-Davidson Dyna Low Rider, to be exact. In purple. You could say that she was my baby. I’d had her for five years and she’d never let me down.
Okay, there was that one time she’d left me stranded a good ten miles from the nearest town, but it wasn’t too bad. And it led me to a dive bar and hot sex with a cowboy wannabe.
I liked to be on the road. I was used to never staying in one place for too long. It was how I was raised, and even though I tried to break away from my upbringing as much as possible, parts were still ingrained in me. I got restless easily and I hated people. So I was not one for wanting to settle down, buy a house with a picket fence, and meet my neighbors.
But currently, I had been stuck in a nowhere town for over a month.
When I took this job I was told it could be a long one. I just didn’t think it would be this long. And, unfortunately, it didn’t seem like it was going to end anytime soon, seeing as my target, whatever target that might have been, hadn’t even shown up. Yeah, I knew when I agreed to this that I was going to hate it. Why I still took it? I didn’t fucking know. I was offered a shit-ton of money, and after my last job got fucked up, I figured it was best to take it given the chance that I could lay low for a bit. Maybe even get my name off of the shit list. One fuck up and suddenly no one was calling.
I was amazing at what I did. Discreet when needed to be and the opposite when they wanted to send a message. It didn’t matter to me as long as I got paid and kept moving. Not to brag, but I was at the top of the list of who to call. After all, I’d been doing it for ten years and at twenty-eight, I had worked my way to the number one slot. Sure, I was in a temporary lag but I knew after this job, I would get back there.
The thing was, there were outside forces that I had no control over with the last one. Yet, there I was paying the price for it. But then again, the decision to not pull the trigger was all mine.
Anyway, I’d been in the small tourist town of God knows where Tennessee. It was in a valley. On one side was a fancy resort built halfway up the mountain. On the other side was cute little rental cabins that sprinkled the whole side of the mountain. In between was little shops and restaurants. The further you drove along the road the more townie it became.
That was where I had taken a job. I hated sitting around and so I had found there was a need for a bartender at the local hole-in-the-wall bar. It also happened to be where I was staying. The upstairs had a small one-room apartment. It was still mostly an empty room. I’d bought a twin mattress, which was stuffed into the far corner on the floor. I’d also found a coffee table and an overstuffed chair at a consignment shop. Toss in a couple of lamps and that was my current home. It was all I needed. A place to sleep and a seat for me to read in my downtime.
The door to the outside was beside what you could call the kitchen. There was a narrow and rickety staircase that led down to the gravel parking lot at the back of the bar. I had two street-side windows on the opposite wall from the door. They might have let in decent light during the day, but the last time they had been cleaned had to have been before I was born and I didn’t care enough to touch them.
The bar was empty. No surprise, being that it was only four in the afternoon. I was mindlessly counting the bottles in the cooler when my phone vibrated in my back pocket. Pulling it out, I saw it was my only friend. My best friend, you could say, even though we’d never actually met in person.
“Eyes,” I answered calling her by the nickname I had for her.
She was a shut-in, never left her apartment. She was also a hacker who spent all of her time watching her many, many computer screens. She had eyes on everything I swear. We never much talked about what it was in detail, but I had an idea. She watched life sitting back in the dark while hers just went by.
“You know every time I hear that I feel like I’m in some sort of a spy movie.” She laughed. I always felt a heaviness from her and I loved to hear her laugh. I knew the lightness was only temporary, but I would give it to her any chance I could get. “Anyway, you answered, so I’m going to assume you haven’t died of boredom.
“So close,” I said through gritted teeth and it wasn’t far from the truth. My insides tightened the more my feet were stuck in one place. “I wonder how much longer until I see some action.” My trigger finger twitched at the thought.
“He didn’t say anything more about it?” she asked, referring to my employer.
“No. Guy wasn’t a big talker,” I said with a huff. “Didn’t even show up to the meeting. He sent some lackey to deal with me. That guy was kinda sexy, though, he had that biker bad boy thing going on. But he didn’t say much, either. Not even a small smile.” She laughed again. It was muffled like she was trying to cover it up.
That was about as far as we went with shop talk. I didn’t offer details and she didn’t ask. She knew what I did and who I was. And I knew she did things that were on the side of less legal, too. But we never went into too many details.
“Have you checked the feed lately?”
“No.” I shrugged even though I knew she couldn’t see it. “The alert hasn’t gone off, so I figured what’s the use. I got tired of always looking only to find the same dead space.”
She would always send me the equipment I would need for a job, the tech stuff anyway, and would walk me through the set-ups. I knew she could tap into the feed as well but I was never worried about what she would see because I knew she would keep my secrets. Also, it was always good to have someone watching my back. Even if it was from miles away.
“Alright,” she said and I could hear her typing away on her keyboard. “I gotta go. Don’t start offing patrons just to have something to do.” She laughed and I huffed out a chuckle.
“You know me…” I managed to get out before the line went dead. I didn’t take it personally. I knew when something came up her focus was lost on anything else.
Sighing, I pulled up the app on my phone that showed the cabin I needed to watch. I flicked through the ten cameras I had set up inside.
Setting them up had been easy. There was no one around for at least a mile. I watched the place for a day before I
realized that no one was even there and it didn’t seem like anyone would be showing up anytime soon.
The place was dusty and plain. It didn’t look like the typical rental. Most of the time they had cute mountain charms with some kind of stupid, cheesy theme spread throughout. But this one looked like a bunch of lumberjacks threw in whatever they could find. Like ugly plaid couches that didn’t even match. The kitchen was empty save for a few utensils and an iron skillet. A huge flat screen hung above the fireplace. There was a basement that had been turned into a game room with a pool table and a couple of dart boards. The third floor held a few bedrooms that were sparsely decorated exactly the same as the two bedrooms on the main level.
I pulled my thick hair over one shoulder, my rings catching on a few tangles as I leaned my elbows on the bar. I flicked through the rotation of feeds hoping to find something.
Nothing. Not a mouse. Or a gust of wind. Hell, at this point I would have taken a ghost sighting.
Growling in frustration, I turned the screen off and tossed my phone aside. The loud clamor of it hitting the hard bar top echoed through the silent space.
I should turn on some music.
I hit the play button on the iPod in the docking station. The owner was specific on what he wanted to be played in his bar and let me just say, my music was not what he had in mind. Some country song rang out through the speakers and my mind drifted back to the phone conversation with my current employer.
“What’s my target?” I ask after he told me where it is he wants me to go.
“Anything that goes in that cabin,” his voice is low and dangerous. It sends an unwanted tingle down my spine and I do my best to shake it off because I needed this job.