by Clare Lydon
Eden had tried to call her earlier, but it had gone to voicemail.
Her gut twisted. She’d sent a text instead, telling Heidi she hoped they could arrange a date soon. That she’d call her tonight.
However, Eden wouldn’t rest until she’d spoken to her. She would deal with this the only way she knew how — with the truth. She wasn’t playing Heidi, and the sooner she could let her know that, the better. Eden wasn’t her mother, who led people on and let them down. Who played with people’s emotions. But she’d be the first to admit that with Heidi and India in her life, it was getting more unpredictable by the day. She was holding onto control, but only just.
She was just glad she was working from home today. She couldn’t take the scrutiny of everybody in the office thinking there was something going on with her and India. They should be happy she was taking time for a client. But Eden knew what they’d really be thinking.
Lib appeared half an hour later, bags under her eyes. Her mum being ill was taking it out of her. Eden got up and put the kettle on, then sat back down at her desk in the corner of the living room.
“How did you sleep?”
Lib grabbed a bowl from the cupboard, followed by a box of Shreddies. Lib had recently watched a show on Netflix about tidying up, and had rearranged their cupboards so they housed items that made sense together. Now the cereal bowls were with the cereal; the tea bags with the mugs. It had been a revelation to Eden.
“Like the dead.” Lib yawned, stretching her arms above her head. “You?”
“Fitful.” Eden paused. “Some photos of me and India have appeared online.”
Lib tilted her head. “Doing what?”
“Having drinks.”
Lib sat down on the sofa, spoon paused over her food. “You can have drinks. You work with her.”
“But what if Heidi sees it?”
Lib smiled. “If she does, you explain it. You’re not married, you haven’t even shagged yet.”
Eden got up to make them both a cup of tea. “Since when did you get so sanguine about shit like this?”
Lib sighed. “Since I deal with my dying mother every day. Death puts things into perspective. I’ve been listening to a lot of cancer podcasts lately, to see if they can help my mum. You know what they all say?”
Eden shook her head. “Tell me.”
“That you shouldn’t sweat the small stuff. Because the small stuff leads to knots in your body, which leads to toxins being released, which leads to stress, which leads to cancer. It’s just some innocent photos. Call her and tell her.” Lib began to munch.
Eden waited to see if she had any more words, but that appeared to be it.
“You can’t tell me this wouldn’t bother you.”
Lib finished her mouthful before she replied. “Of course it would. But I’m too busy observing your weird life. You’ve gone from being eternally single, to having two women fighting over you. One of them being a TV star. That you’re choosing the single mother over the TV star is the hilarious thing. But it’s the right move. You’re opting for the one that’s likely got a chance to succeed. India Contelli and you would never work.” She paused. “Also, we’ve run out of chocolate spread, so you think you could tap up your contact and get us some more? Or will she not be delivering now you didn’t do the decent thing and sleep with her?”
“Good to see you’ve got my best interests at heart.”
“Always,” Lib said, giving her a grin. “I’m not saying there won’t be work to do. But if you’ve done nothing wrong, then you just need to tell Heidi that. No drama. At least, in an ideal world there would be no drama. But we don’t live there, do we?” Lib finished her cereal and put down her bowl. “After this fuck-up, you just need to show her she means more to you than TV lady.”
Eden sat down at her desk, then spun around to face her friend. “How do I do that?”
“I dunno. Do something that would mean a lot to her. But sort it out, please. This thing between you two has been going on too long. One of you needs to make a proper move. You did it at the festival, so why you’ve waited this long to make your next move is beyond me.”
“We have been trying. The universe keeps conspiring against us.”
Lib rolled her eyes. “If you want to make this work, you’ll find a way. If Maya means a lot to Heidi, arrange something that involves both of them.”
Eden tilted her head. “You’re a little genius. Children do mean a lot to their parents. Normal parents, that is.”
Lib smiled. “That’s generally the case.”
Eden was pumped now. “I’m going to suggest doing something with Maya. That should go down well.”
“So long as it’s not sending her to boarding school, all good.” Lib yawned again, arms over her head. “And if you’re not keen on India Contelli, ask her how she feels about dating an estate agent.”
“Who do you know who’s an estate agent?”
Lib grinned. “Me. I’m doing some part-time work to help a friend. Who knows, I might not go back to web developing. I might truly find my calling.”
Eden laughed. “I’ll be sure to ask her first thing, next time I see her.”
“After you’ve got some more chocolate spread from her first. Priorities.”
Chapter 25
Eden had bullet points written on a notepad. She’d done more preparation for this phone call with Heidi than she sometimes did for appraisals with Caroline. Mainly because, when it came to her work, she knew what she was doing.
Phone calls to prospective girlfriends were a different ballgame. Eden took a deep breath, then pressed the green button. Here went nothing. As the call connected and the ringing began, a spiky heat crept up her spine. She was half hoping Heidi picked up, half hoping it went to voicemail. Either way, when she swallowed, she could taste dread.
After three rings, Heidi picked up.
“Hi.” There was already a sigh in her voice.
Eden gritted her teeth. “Hi. How are you?” Terrible first line. What happened to her notes? Hearing Heidi’s voice, all her plans had flown out the window.
“I’ve had better days.”
Eden bet she had. “I just thought I’d call because I don’t know if you’ve seen the photos in the press today?”
“I have. My sister sent them through. She recognised you from the festival.”
“Right.” Eden paused. “I miss the us that was at the festival.”
A slight temperature shift as Heidi gave a gentle laugh. “With everything that’s happened since, it’s almost as if it never happened.”
Eden’s voice dropped an octave. “It did. I remember. Plus, I’ve got photos, just to prove I’m not going mad.”
A pause. Was Heidi smiling on the other end of the phone? Even a glimmer of a smile? Eden decided she was. “I wanted to let you know those photos last night were strictly work.”
“It’s not just the photos, Eden. I saw you last night. I was out for my birthday with my mum—”
“It was your birthday?” Eden’s heart slumped.
“It’s on Friday, but that doesn’t matter.”
“It kinda does. Your birthday’s in two days and you didn’t tell me?”
“We haven’t really shared all the details of our lives, have we? You being out for drinks with India Contelli, for instance? You mentioned in passing she was involved in the campaign, but not that you were on having-drinks terms.”
Yep, Heidi was pissed off. “I didn’t realise we’d be photographed. It was just work. She’s actually really lovely.” Why had she said that? Hadn’t she scrubbed out any mention of India being lovely from her notes? Heidi didn’t need to hear that. She needed to hear that she was the one Eden had been imagining kissing. Not India Contelli. Who, frankly, despite all her fame, was a bit of a hot mess. Particularly after a few tequilas. “Anyway, off topic. I didn’t call you to tell you about my work and who I’ve been for drinks with.”
“Good, because I know. It’s all over the in
ternet.”
Direct, to the point. “I’m calling to see if you wanted to meet up again. I know we said the next time would be without kids and dogs, but now it’s your birthday this week, I’d love it to be soon. Tomorrow or Friday? If it involves Maya, that’s all good.”
There was a pause on the other end of the line. All Eden could hear was her heartbeat, and her fractured breathing. If this was it and she was going to flunk out of both of her possible dates within the space of 24 hours, she would probably become a confirmed singleton. She could totally understand why every book, film or TV show revolved around relationships, because there was so much drama attached. The only relationships that meant anything to her were her friendships. Making this phone call was so out of character, but Heidi didn’t know that. She wasn’t to know she was the architect behind the new Eden.
Heidi cleared her throat. “I’m working tomorrow, and I already have family plans for my birthday. Plus, I’m meeting a friend for lunch. So you’re a little late.”
Eden wasn’t so easily defeated. “What about breakfast?”
Heidi laughed. “You’re keen. I’m taking Maya trampolining on my birthday morning.”
Noise filled Eden’s head. Trampolining. She used to be good at it. With her mum. Could she brave a trampoline park, knowing it might open up old wounds? If it meant seeing Heidi, she had to try. “I bet they serve breakfast there.”
“You seriously want to come trampolining with us?”
Eden wasn’t at all sure. She hadn’t stepped foot on a trampoline in years. She hadn’t dared. It might uncover too much. “Yes. I used to do trampolining in my summer holidays. I could teach you a few moves.”
“I hate to break it to you, but the trampolining is for the kids.” She paused. “Plus, don’t you have to be in work for all these big deals you’ve got on?”
“I can take a break for a few hours. I’d like to take a break for a few hours. What do you say?”
Heidi took a few moments to reply. “I’ll be at the trampoline park at Stratford on Friday morning from 10am. If you’re serious, be there then. We can have a coffee while Maya has her lesson.”
“And I can wish you a happy birthday.” Eden exhaled. “Are you free this weekend for a more grown-up date? I’d love to cook for you.”
Heidi paused for just a moment. “I booked the weekend off to spend with my family. I’ll let you know tomorrow.”
Eden had to be happy with that. It wasn’t a flat-out no. “I’ll see you Friday to wish you a happy birthday. And Heidi?”
“Yes?”
“I’m looking forward to it already.”
When the line went dead, Eden stared at her phone.
Now, on top of everything else, she had to get Heidi something impressive for her birthday. She knew just what that was going to be.
Chapter 26
If you’d told Eden a couple of months ago she’d be at a trampoline park at 9.45am on a weekday morning, she’d have thought you were crazy. Yet, here she was. It even smelt like the hall she used to go to: excitement and adrenaline. Emotion swirled in the pit of her stomach, memories flooding her frontal cortex.
Eden didn’t have many happy childhood memories created with her mum, but trampolining was one of them. School holidays and Saturday mornings had been punctuated with trampolining. Her mum had known the teacher and he’d always let her have a go when she came to pick up Eden.
Her mother had been good, too. Graceful. The only time in Eden’s life she’d known that. Graceful wasn’t a word you associated with Debbie Price. Hurried. Fractured. Forgetful. Crazy. These were all words Eden recalled from her childhood, words that could scar for life. Her mother hadn’t been like the others. Troubled was the word her gran had used the most.
If Debbie Price had been a young mum in the 21st century, she’d probably have got the help or the drugs she needed. However, the world had been very different when Debbie was growing up in Croydon in the ’70s. Then, Debbie had been categorised as a loose cannon, someone who did things her own way. Whatever things her mum had chosen, they’d never included Eden. Apart from trampolining.
Eden sucked in a breath. She was a little unsteady on her feet. Hot tears threatened to sting the back of her eyes. Oh fuck. She hadn’t expected this reaction. When Heidi had mentioned trampolining, Eden had taken it as a sign. She knew trampolining. She remembered the moves, and might even be able to show them to Maya. Eden had suggested coming to show Heidi she was fine including Maya as a part of their relationship.
Now though, she was questioning that decision. She swallowed down hard. Far from impressing Heidi, she feared she might unravel. All Heidi had to do was pull on her emotional thread, and her nightmare might come true. Eden took a deep breath and walked through to the cafe where they’d arranged to meet.
Heidi was already at one of the white plastic tables with Maya, whose feet didn’t reach the edge of her cream plastic chair.
Eden walked up to them, trying to control her breathing. She wasn’t 13 anymore. She was a 40-year-old woman with a successful career. Eden was capable, assured.
“Hey.” Shit, her voice was already wobbling.
Heidi looked up, giving her a weak smile. “You came.” She got up to hug her.
Eden clung on a little too hard. “I said I would. Plus, this is the kind of date we do, right? A little weird, brightly lit, absolutely no chance of getting too close.”
“Describing this as a date is stretching the definition. You invited yourself to my daughter’s trampoline session.” She paused. “Now who’s weird?”
Eden smiled. “Guilty as charged.” She pulled out a chair and sat down. “Although I had an ulterior motive. I wanted to see you on your birthday and give you this.” She pulled Heidi’s present out of her bag and handed it over. The shape gave it away, square and flat. “Happy birthday.”
Maya knelt up in her chair, her interest piqued. “Present!”
“It is.” Heidi gave Eden a puzzled look. “What is it?”
“Open it and find out.”
Heidi ripped off the paper, then grinned. “Oh my god, I love it.” She glanced up at Eden. “You remembered.”
Eden nodded. “Open it up.”
Heidi flipped open the gatefold edition of PJ Harvey’s first album. And then she gasped. “It’s signed!” She clutched her chest. “How did you get this? I only told you it was my birthday two days ago.”
Eden smiled. “We’ve done a lot of PR work with her record label, so I had an in. After you told me your mum threw your old signed copy away, I was going to see if I could replace it. This just sped up the request. I hope you like it.” She also hoped it told Heidi exactly how she felt about her.
“I absolutely love it.” She stared into Eden’s eyes. “Thank you so much.”
The sudden flash of chemistry almost punched the breath from her lungs. Eden leaned in, placing a gentle kiss on Heidi’s lips. The charge of electricity it sparked nearly floored her. Eden opened her eyes and focused on Heidi, who was still staring at her lips. Eden’s whole body shook.
“I really want to do that again, but the aforementioned bright lights and toddler are holding me back.” Heidi did it again anyway.
Desire crashed through Eden like a wave. With Heidi’s lips on hers, she couldn’t think straight.
Heidi pulled back, her breathing sketchy. She reached out a hand, her fingers gripping Eden’s wrist. “Happy birthday to me.” A wry smile crept onto her face. “Let’s give it a repeat tomorrow, if you’re free?”
Eden’s grin couldn’t have been any wider. “I’m free all day long.”
“Perfect.”
Clapping interrupted the moment. When Eden glanced up, a woman dressed in bright blue sports gear was telling them that trampolining for toddlers was about to start. Eden saw her speaking words, but couldn’t quite make sense of them. Heidi’s kisses had scrambled her brain.
Luckily, Heidi understood them. She grabbed Maya like she weighed nothing, motioning
for Eden to follow. She did as she was told. Once Maya was safely placed on the trampoline and her bottom-lip quiver dealt with, Heidi walked back to Eden, sat in a row of chairs lined up along a wall.
“You look sad.” Heidi sat beside her, glancing up at her daughter, then back to Eden. “Is the trampoline park not living up to your expected highs?”
Eden shook her head. “It’s way more fancy than the one I used to attend. There was no such thing as a trampoline park in my day. When I learned the moves, I did it on a single trampoline in the middle of a sports hall, with no net around it. Not in a complex like this with so many trampolines all pushed together. You could break a bone in my day.”
Heidi sat back, not taking her eyes from Maya, but talking to Eden. “No nets. I remember that. Did you also get squashed into the boots of cars with no seatbelts?”
Eden shook her head. “I was an only child. Besides, my mum didn’t drive, so we didn’t have a car.”
Heidi turned her head. “How did your mum cope with a child and no car?”
Eden shrugged. “We got lifts or took a bus.”
Heidi kept her eyes on Eden this time, the bright strip-lighting overhead making her squint. “So is this bringing it all back for you, even if it is on a far bigger scale?”
Eden let out a strangled laugh. “Kinda.” She exhaled. “It’s making me feel a bit emotional, actually.” She put a hand on her heart. “The last time I had a trampoline lesson, I was 13. My mum disappeared that day and I didn’t see her again for two years.” Eden sat with her head down, not quite knowing what to do with all the feelings swirling within her.
“You were 13 and your mum walked out? Wow.”
Eden moved her mouth one way, then the other. She still hadn’t looked up. “It was hard at the time, but it made me into who I am today. Stronger. More capable. Independent. Life events shape us like that, don’t they?” But in her case, it had left her misshapen.
She still recalled her gran picking her up from the lesson, which was unusual. Not knowing how to break it to her. The crack in Eden’s heart had mended over the years, but the scar was still visible.