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by Jenn Alexander

  “It’s a good thing you’re cute,” Kate said.

  “So I’ll see you Sunday?” Rowan asked.

  “I’ll be there.”

  “Great,” Rowan said. “Does 3 p.m. work?”

  “It does. What should I bring?”

  “Just your gorgeous self,” Rowan said.

  Kate felt herself warm at the compliment, and wasn’t sure how Rowan did it— how she could make her melt so easily. She said good-bye, and put the phone down beside her, waiting for the butterflies in her stomach to disperse.

  Because of course there were butterflies.

  Why did there have to be butterflies?

  It didn’t really matter what her dad said or didn’t say to her. She would continue to be terrified of Rowan, and she would continue to be unable to pull herself away to safety.

  You’re not scared of fire, are you?

  No, Kate had never been particularly scared of fire, but at the moment she was terrified of getting burned.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Rowan was still unsure about the party, but since she’d invited Kate she figured she had go.

  Dammit. Why couldn’t I have invited her for dinner? I didn’t have to invite her to the party, just because Dave invited us.

  But the answer came to her easily. She wanted to show Kate she was settling in, and gathering with the neighbors was one way of doing exactly that. And also if she was being honest, she had been touched to have been invited. She’d always been an extrovert, thriving in social situations and in getting to know and connect with others, and was finding it exhausting being so alone all the time.

  Still, she didn’t expect to have anything in common with anyone there. Dave had to be at least fifteen to twenty years older than her, and he was Texan through and through. It wasn’t like they would suddenly be best buddies. They wouldn’t be going to check out local music or calling each other to talk about their dates. He wasn’t going to be Alycia, Kris, or Hannah.

  She sighed as she continued to war with herself. Back and forth went the arguments for and against going to this party. All the while she knew she would go regardless. She hoped there would at least be good food and beer. She and Kate would put in an appearance, but they didn’t have to stay long.

  The gentle knock on her door pulled her from her internal debate.

  Kate was as beautiful as ever, her jeans hugging the curve of her hips and highlighting her long legs. A soft blue tank top showed off her lightly tanned arms. Her hair was down, but pushed back with the sunglasses that sat atop her head. The sight of her made Rowan forget all of her hesitation.

  She’d be with Kate. That’s all that mattered.

  “You’ve got to stop doing that,” Rowan said.

  Kate arched an eyebrow.

  “You always show up at my door looking like that, and I’m left all speechless. So, hi.”

  Kate laughed and leaned in to kiss her lightly, leaving her further speechless. “Hi.”

  “Now that was just cruel.”

  “You’re right. There should be absolutely no kissing. Got it.”

  Rowan pulled Kate in and kissed her, then stepped back and nonchalantly grabbed the case of beer she’d purchased to take to the birthday BBQ.

  “Can I get you to carry these?” She handed the beer to Kate, who took it with a smile.

  She then grabbed the platter of beef skewers she’d prepared for the grill, and her keys to lock up her apartment.

  “I didn’t know we were supposed to bring food,” Kate said. “I could have prepared something.”

  “We aren’t expected to bring anything. I’m a chef, though. A grill chef at that. I couldn’t not bring something.”

  “This is going to be the first time I get to try your cooking.” Kate moved a step closer to Rowan.

  Rowan had to focus on what she was doing as she locked her apartment, distracted by Kate’s soft scent of strawberries.

  “I will cook you a proper meal soon,” Rowan promised, once her apartment was locked up. She lowered her voice. “Trust me. I’ll make it worth the wait.”

  A flush rose to Kate’s cheeks.

  “Come on,” Rowan said with satisfaction, knowing her words had distracted Kate. “We don’t want to be late, do we?”

  Kate fell into step beside her, and she didn’t feel as nervous about the party.

  The smoke from the charcoal wafted toward them before they turned the corner to the pool area, and the smell of the grill and the meat was a familiar comfort. Dave stood in front of the grill, flipping burgers. The pool was gated, with a grill area that had tables and chairs already set out. A handful of people sat around, talking and laughing. They all looked to be Dave’s age or older, and Rowan was about ninety-nine percent certain they would have nothing in common. She had never been one to hold her tongue, and she didn’t like faking interest. She enjoyed getting to know new people but tended to avoid social situations where she’d have to put on a front or be inauthentic in any way. Just because Dave wasn’t actively homophobic didn’t mean the rest of her neighbors would be so tolerant. She braced herself for a lecture about God.

  As if sensing her apprehension, Kate slipped her hand into Rowan’s and squeezed lightly.

  Rowan’s nervousness slipped away as she met Kate’s warm green eyes.

  As she pulled open the gate to the pool and grill area, Dave turned and waved with a big warm smile. “Rowan! You made it.”

  She held up the tray of skewers. “Happy birthday, neighbor. I hope the grill isn’t too full. We come bearing skewers and beer.”

  Dave held up his hands in delight. “Wonderful! You can set the drinks in the cooler, but I’ll take one of them if you don’t mind. And we’ve got plenty of room on the grill for some skewers.”

  She went to the grill, took a pair of tongs, and placed a handful of skewers on. Then she turned to find Kate unpacking the beers into the cooler, handing one to Dave, and then grabbing one for both Rowan and herself.

  Rowan took the beer from Kate and held it up in Dave’s direction. “Happy birthday,” she said, clinking her bottle against his.

  “Thank you. Now introduce me to this girl of yours,” he said, already smiling at Kate and extending his hand to her.

  “This is Kate,” Rowan said. “Kate, this is my neighbor, Dave.”

  “It’s nice to meet you, Dave,” Kate said. She didn’t look even a bit nervous as she shook Dave’s hand, as friendly and sociable as ever.

  Rowan envied Kate’s warm, easy way of interacting with people. People were drawn to her. The kindness seeped from her. And it wasn’t forced or faked. Kate was just a genuinely good human.

  And here she was with Rowan— a fact that Rowan was, frankly, amazed by.

  “Come on. I’ll introduce y’all to everyone,” Dave said.

  Rowan and Kate followed him over to where the others were sitting.

  “That’s Lou,” Dave said, pointing to a man about the same age as him, with a thick gray moustache and a Cowboys ball cap. “He lives across from us.”

  Rowan held up a hand in a wave, but Dave continued his introductions before she could tell Lou it was nice to meet him.

  “Betty and Randall here live in the apartment below you. And that’s Cindy from a few units down.”

  Rowan mentally filed all of the names and introduced herself and Kate to the group.

  “So you’re new to Texas?” Cindy asked.

  Rowan nodded. “I moved here from Portland for work.”

  “What do you do?” Lou asked.

  She wished she could shift the spotlight off herself, but the questions seemed friendly enough. “I’m the grill chef at On the Range, a new restaurant that opened a couple of months ago.”

  “Wow,” Betty said with genuine admiration in her eyes. “I’ve heard a lot of talk about that place. You must be a pretty excellent chef.”

  Rowan shrugged. After her one disastrous night, she had been more on top of her game, but she was still overthinking thi
ngs and had made a couple careless errors. She was on thin ice with Daniel, and she hated herself for it. She took pride in her culinary skill, but lately she was far from excellent.

  “She’s being modest,” Kate cut in, nudging her.

  She looked over at Kate with one eyebrow arched. “Is that so? You haven’t even tried my cooking yet.”

  “Yeah, well, I know things.”

  Rowan laughed.

  “So wait,” Lou interjected. “You’re a grill chef?”

  She nodded.

  “And you’re letting Dave over there cook the burgers?”

  Dave had moved over to the grill and was using his metal spatula to poke at the burgers, presumably to check their doneness.

  “Hey, Dave, you’re fired,” Lou called out as the group laughed. “Hand over the grill to Rowan here.”

  She shook her head, trying to avoid taking responsibility, but the group was clearly not having it.

  “Last time Dave grilled for us, half of the burgers were burnt beyond recognition. The other half were bleeding.”

  Dave motioned Rowan over, and she took the metal spatula from him.

  As she watched the burgers and turned her skewers on occasion, she listened to Kate easily conversing with the others. She didn’t seem to struggle coming up with conversation topics and quickly got lost in an argument over college football with Lou.

  “On the Range is a pretty big deal,” Betty said, stepping over to the grill.

  “I was lucky to get the job,” Rowan said.

  “Randall and I own a restaurant nearby, the Down Home Diner. I would love to chat with you about food sometime. I’m always wanting to learn new techniques, and there’s bound to be so much I could learn from you.” Betty sounded genuinely in awe of Rowan, which was a new experience for her. She’d always felt certain she had the skills to be at the top of her game, but to have another chef in admiration of her, and want to learn from her . . . She felt pride well within her.

  “Tell me about your restaurant,” she said.

  Betty’s wide, warm smile made it clear she shared Rowan’s passion. “We do casual Southern comfort food mostly. Nothing fancy, but if you haven’t tried proper biscuits and gravy yet, you should stop in.”

  “I haven’t tried the biscuits and gravy yet,” Rowan said. “What other dishes do you do? I haven’t tried most Southern comfort dishes, to be honest. I’m still on a mission to try all of the Texas cuisine I can.”

  “Well then, y’all have to stop by,” Betty said.

  She listened while Betty told her about the food she and Randall cooked, explaining the importance of the perfect sausage for the sausage gravy, and the right way to make creamed corn.

  If there was one conversation that never got dull for Rowan, it was talk of cooking. Maybe she did have something in common with her neighbors.

  She pulled the skewers from the grill and gave the burgers another minute. The conversation paused while the group came over to get food, taking skewers and selecting buns and toppings for their burgers.

  “What did you put in the seasoning for these skewers?” Dave asked, moaning as he took a bite out of one, hardly letting it hit his plate before it got to his mouth.

  “If I told you that, I’d have to kill you,” Rowan said. She got a burger for herself and Kate, turning to find Kate looking at her proudly. Rowan gave Kate a quick kiss.

  Lou cast a sideways glance and frowned at the two of them, but said nothing. The rest of the neighbors were warm and accepting, so she chose to ignore the quick judgment she saw flash across his face. It was a nice afternoon, and she didn’t need to let the opinion of one Texan affect that. Especially not when she’d expected worse reactions from the entire group.

  Rowan took a seat, and Kate pulled up the chair beside her.

  She had thought that she would be itching to leave the party, but she found herself having a good time.

  And she found herself wanting to stay and get to know her neighbors.

  ❊ ❊ ❊

  It was dark by the time Kate followed Rowan up to her apartment. In fact, they had stayed until the very end of the party and walked back with Dave, helping him carry up all of his grill tools and leftover food. Rowan was talking animatedly with Dave about the latest episode of Survivor, a show they both apparently watched religiously. Kate tried to keep her delight from showing as she listened to Rowan and Dave make plans to get together to watch the program when it next aired.

  From the outside Rowan and Dave could not have appeared more different. She could understand why Rowan had been hesitant to get to know Dave, who was an older generation down-home Texan. There had been times throughout the evening when she saw that Rowan still had to bite her tongue. Someone had made an offhand comment about “liberal snowflakes,” and she’d watched as Rowan physically ached to say something but bit back the words. They didn’t all see eye to eye on everything. But there was more that they had in common than separated them.

  Upstairs Rowan helped Dave set down the grill tools and food on his counter.

  “Happy birthday, Dave,” Rowan said. “And thanks for inviting us.”

  “It was great getting to know y’all,” Dave said, and he pulled Rowan into a big hug.

  Kate smiled as she watched the exchange. “It was nice meeting you, too,” she said.

  Dave waved, and Rowan unlocked the door to her own apartment.

  As Rowan shut the door behind them, Kate stepped into her, placing her hands on Rowan’s hips to pull Rowan flush against her so she could kiss her, slowly and deeply. She felt Rowan’s surprised intake of breath as she gave into the kiss, pulling Kate tighter against her and opening her mouth to Kate.

  Just as quickly as Kate had initiated the kiss, however, she stepped back, a satisfied smile on her face.

  “What was that for?” Rowan asked, taking Kate’s hands, and sending little sparks up Kate’s arms as she traced her thumbs over the backs of Kate’s hands.

  Kate shrugged. “It was nice seeing you get to know your neighbors. I know this move has been hard on you, and that’s been scary for me. But seeing you today . . . It made me a little less worried. I know you miss your friends, but you’re going to find yourself a community here.”

  Rowan nodded, but a trace of sadness passed across her features and did not go unnoticed by Kate.

  “I know it doesn’t make being away from your friends and family any easier,” Kate said.

  “I’ll be okay. You’re right. I’ll find a community here. And, besides, I have you. That alone makes Texas pretty great.” Rowan’s confident smile slipped back into place, but Kate knew it was masking her homesickness.

  Kate looked around the apartment.

  “You unpacked,” she said. The place was noticeably more like a home than the last time she had seen Rowan’s apartment. It felt like Rowan now— comfortable and warm while also colorful and bold.

  “I live here now,” Rowan said. “It’s time that I settle in.”

  Kate noticed some framed photos hanging on the wall, and she stepped over to them for a closer look. Rowan stepped up behind her, resting a hand on the small of her back.

  “This one is my dad and me.” Rowan pointed to the top photo, in which Rowan was smiling next to an older man who was tall and thin, with wire-rimmed glasses, in front of a Star Wars movie poster. “And this one is my mom and me.” She pointed to the photo of her and a woman with long, blond hair, each with a backpack on, smiling in front of a waterfall.

  “They’re both so blond.” Kate marveled at how different from Rowan they looked.

  Rowan laughed. “I’m adopted.”

  Kate turned to Rowan, who was smiling in amusement when she met her eyes.

  “I didn’t know that,” Kate said.

  Rowan shrugged. “I was adopted at birth. It doesn’t tend to come up because it’s not really a big deal. It’s a small part of my story. My parents always wanted kids, but they felt there were already children out there who needed homes,
and rather than try for a child biologically they chose to adopt me.”

  “Do you know your birth family?” Kate asked.

  Rowan shook her head. “I’ve never really wanted to. This is my family.” She tapped the photo frames. “I definitely got my sense of humor from my dad. He’s the king of puns and corny Dad jokes. He and I grew up watching bad sci-fi and horror movies together. He took me to my first punk concert when I was eight. I’m told I make the same facial expression as him when I’m skeptical or amused. I got my love of nature from my mom. When I was little, she would take me for walks and point out all of the different types of birds and flowers. She’s gentle and patient, and she takes the time to notice all of those details I don’t always notice. I wish I could see the world the way she does, but I tend to blunder my way through things. She’s also the adventurous and fearless one in the family. My dad is a lot more reserved. I think I’m somewhere in the middle of the two of them.”

  Kate laughed at Rowan’s self-description. “They sound wonderful.”

  “They are,” Rowan said. “I miss them. I’ve never really been away from them like this. Summer camp for a week each summer as a child, but that’s about it. We talk on the phone, of course, but I haven’t seen them in a couple of months. It’s weird.”

  Kate thought about her relationship with her own dad. They had never gone months without seeing each other, and she couldn’t imagine living so far away from him. Suddenly, the fact that Rowan was there even trying to make it work in Texas seemed impressive. She hadn’t really considered everything Rowan was giving up to make it work in Texas.

  Rowan was trying, and Kate had been too caught up in her own fears to see that.

  Kate interlaced her fingers with Rowan’s and looked around the rest of Rowan’s place. There was a poster from a punk rock band that Kate had never heard of on the wall, the DVD stand was packed with ’80s horror movie classics, and her bookshelf was an eclectic mix of horror, feminist literature, and cookbooks.

  “This place is very you,” Kate said.

  “It definitely feels good not to be living out of boxes anymore,” Rowan said.