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by Jenn Alexander

  Kate kissed her jaw. “I did.”

  She closed her eyes and held tight to Kate. From the start, there had been something special between them. Something she’d never experienced with anyone else before. She should have known they’d be magic, but she’d been too scared.

  Kate was special.

  ❊ ❊ ❊

  Sunlight barely filtered into the room when Kate woke. She looked at the clock on Rowan’s nightstand and saw it was nearly six. The sun would fully rise soon. Despite having fallen asleep just a couple of hours earlier, she woke refreshed, her body’s internal rhythm ready to start the day.

  In fact, she felt more refreshed than she had in weeks. For the past month or so she had awakened on her own, and as consciousness had settled in so too did the ever-present stress and uncertainty. She went to sleep tired and stressed and woke the same way. This time, though, she woke to Rowan lying on her back beside her and to the pleasant ache in her body from the previous evening. For the moment things felt just right.

  She looked down at Rowan in the dim morning light and smiled. Rowan had one hand tucked back behind her head and the other draped across her stomach. The light sheet covered her only up to her waist, and Kate took a moment to appreciate the view, resisting the urge to wake Rowan by tracing her fingers over Rowan’s skin.

  Rowan’s short hair was tousled across her forehead, and her lips were parted slightly, her chest rising and falling with her slow breaths.

  Kate leaned in and brushed Rowan’s hair back, placing a kiss on her forehead before quietly slipping from the bed.

  She found her clothes and dressed reluctantly, wishing she could climb back into bed, wrap her arms around Rowan, and lie there for a few more hours. Knowing that wasn’t a luxury the day would allow, she went to Rowan’s kitchen, found the coffee, and set about making a pot before Rowan woke.

  As the coffee percolated, she stole one of the cookies that sat abandoned on the stove and popped it into her mouth, moaning at the rich chocolatey flavor with the subtle, earthy heat from the chili powder shining through. The chocolate formed deep brown cracks in the powdered sugar coating, creating a stark visual contrast between the light, sweet exterior and the rich, complex interior. The flavor matched that juxtaposition, with spicy undertones swirling into the sweet chocolate cookie. The powdered sugar provided a lightness to each bite. It was perhaps one of the best things she’d ever eaten.

  She chewed the cookie while she walked through Rowan’s apartment, looking at all of the framed photos on the wall. In the honest light of morning she saw how connected Rowan was in Portland and felt that familiar concern bubbling within her. She tried to push it away. Rowan hadn’t given her any reason to think that she was going to leave. Her fears were unfounded. Rowan was settling in. She’d make friends in Texas, and her apartment would one day have pictures of them hanging on the walls as well.

  Kate could appreciate that Texas was a sacrifice for Rowan. She deserved, at least, the benefit of a chance to try to settle in. Fear echoed in the hollows of Kate’s heart, but she also had a deep admiration for Rowan. It had been brave to move away from everything she’d known for a chance to chase her dream. If the tables were reversed, Kate wasn’t sure she could have made such a drastic move. And therein was the fear. She understood how much Rowan was giving up because she couldn’t give up her home. She was busy fighting tooth and nail to keep her home.

  She finished the cookie and searched Rowan’s cupboards for two mugs. She poured the coffee into each and carried the mugs into the bedroom. She set both mugs down on the end table so that she could lean over and kiss Rowan gently on the lips.

  “Hey you,” she whispered, lightly shaking Rowan awake.

  Rowan tossed over onto her side grumpily, pushing Kate off her while she turned.

  Kate smiled at the display. “Good morning, sleepyhead.”

  Rowan opened one gray eye, then the other.

  “What time is it?” Rowan asked. “It’s still dark out.”

  “It’s just about dawn.”

  Rowan groaned and snuggled down into her blankets. “This is not an hour anyone should be awake. Talk to me again in a few hours.”

  Kate laughed but shook Rowan again. “I wish I could,” she said. “I have to get going soon, and I wanted to say good-bye first. I made us some coffee, if you want to snuggle me for a few minutes before I have to leave.”

  “Why do you have to go?” Rowan asked in a tired, pouty voice.

  “I’ve got work to do on the ranch today, and I need to get there reasonably early to get things started. I have customers coming by.”

  Rowan rubbed her eyes and gave a sleepy smile and a small laugh. She slowly shifted into a sitting position, leaning back against her headboard, her blanket over her lap. “I guess if you have to leave, that’s as good a reason as any.”

  Kate nodded and grabbed the two mugs of coffee. She passed Rowan one of them, then slipped into the bed. She leaned against Rowan, who wrapped an arm around her, taking a sip of her own coffee.

  “I really do wish I could stay,” she said, turning her head to look at Rowan. “Last night was perfect.”

  Rowan smiled, thinking back to the previous night. “It really was, wasn’t it?”

  She nodded. “Beyond perfect.”

  “You sure you can’t stay for breakfast?”

  She shook her head. “I wish I could. I stole one of the cookies, though, and it was incredible. I have no doubt whatever you’d make for breakfast would also be delicious.”

  Rowan laughed. “You got into the cookies without me?”

  Kate nodded. “I couldn’t help myself. They were right there staring at me while I made the coffee, practically begging me to eat one.”

  “Uh huh,” Rowan said. “You simply had no choice.”

  “None,” Kate agreed. She took another long drink of her coffee.

  “When will I get to see you again?”

  Kate looked at her watch and feigned being deep in calculations. “Oh, about three hours from now when you come pick up your beef order.”

  Rowan poked her in the side. “You know what I mean.”

  She took Kate’s earlobe in her mouth, and Kate felt the air leave her lungs.

  “When can I see you, where we can be alone again?” Rowan asked, her voice low and husky.

  “Tonight?” Kate asked, feeling like even that was too far away.

  “I work,” Rowan said.

  “Well, darn.” She frowned, surprised at the disappointment she felt. “When’s your next night off? You could come over. I’ll take you out stargazing at the ranch. You can see the Milky Way from out there away from all of the city lights. There’s nothing quite like the stars in Texas.”

  Rowan tilted her head back and gave a contented sigh. “That sounds about perfect. I’m off Sunday.”

  “Sunday it is,” Kate said, feeling like that was six years away instead of six days.

  Sunday couldn’t come fast enough. She was a little embarrassed to admit, even to herself, how strong her pull toward Rowan was.

  She just hoped that it was not a pull like a moth to flame, where she was about to get burned.

  Rowan leaned in and breathed her in, pulling her close, and her doubts dimmed.

  There was something real between them. She wasn’t the only one who felt it, she knew.

  She needed to stop worrying. She needed to trust Rowan when she said that she wasn’t planning on uprooting herself from Texas.

  Kate finished off her coffee and decided it was time to trust Rowan. She was going to choose to be optimistic. Everything was good— beyond good— and she was going to believe it would stay that way.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Kate was still smiling when she got home, despite the long day ahead of her. The morning sun cast a soft golden glow across the pastures, and the grazing cattle were distant silhouettes in the gentle backlight. She pulled her truck onto the gravel drive to her ranch and stepped out, breathing the fr
esh country air. It was still relatively cool, with the night having leeched the heat from out of the earth, but the day was beginning to sweat, and Kate could tell it would be a hot and humid afternoon.

  Her thoughts immediately went to Rowan. She could practically hear her complaining about the heat already. The thought of Rowan’s stubborn grumbling brought a smile to her face. She flashed back to the evening before, and that image of Rowan did decidedly more pleasant things to her. Sex with her had been everything Kate had known it would be and so much more. She could still feel Rowan’s skin so soft and warm against her own, and she flushed at the very physical memory.

  But while the sex had been phenomenal, that wasn’t her favorite memory from the previous evening. What she remembered most fondly was watching Rowan talking and laughing with her neighbors. Rowan had been animated and outgoing, and she’d looked genuinely happy.

  She’d watched Rowan and realized she could be happy in Texas. That it was possible for Rowan to stay.

  In that moment, everything felt right. The ranch, Rowan . . . all of it.

  She started the day by letting the horses out into the pastures and checking on the pregnant cow she had resting in the barn. She had errands to run, including picking up the day’s orders of beef from the processor. There was altogether too much work that had to be finished before her dad’s afternoon therapy appointment, but the usual stress never settled in. Dean and Owen would help with the ranch. There would always be more to do. The work would never be entirely done. But whatever they didn’t finish could wait until the next day.

  She systematically moved through all of the morning’s errands. Her mind kept wandering back to Rowan, but she forced herself to keep the daydreaming at bay, indulging only the occasional warm and happy thought or memory.

  That became increasingly more difficult as the morning progressed and she watched the time, knowing that Rowan would be by to pick up the beef for On the Range. Her gaze wandered to the road, looking for Rowan’s little Honda. When she finally saw Rowan turn into the ranch, she felt like a teenager again, and she forced the grin from her face as she went to greet her.

  “That was the longest morning of my life,” Rowan said, stepping out of her car.

  And the grin was back.

  “Yeah?” she asked.

  “Definitely,” Rowan said. “There were way too many hours spent missing you.”

  “You’re so corny,” Kate said. But her heart had quickened at Rowan’s words, and her breath caught as Rowan wrapped her arms around Kate’s back and kissed her softly.

  “Yeah, you’re right,” Rowan said when she had pulled back. “I should stop. Absolutely no more flattery from me.”

  Kate shook her head. “Don’t stop. I happen to like corny.”

  Rowan’s eyes held her for a long moment before she grinned playfully and shook her head. “Too late. No more corniness from me.”

  She gave Rowan a playful shove. “Jerk.”

  Rowan laughed, a warm, rich sound.

  She wanted to stay in that laughter, enveloped in it like a bear hug. She didn’t want to move from the gravel drive and back to the day’s responsibilities. She wanted to spend the afternoon with Rowan.

  But alas, all too aware of the passing time and of her dad’s appointment which she needed to get him to, she forced herself to return to the world of responsibilities.

  “Let’s go get your order.” She led the way to the office, gathering the foam coolers of beef for Rowan, collecting the check, and getting Rowan her receipt.

  “I won’t see you until Friday, will I?” Rowan asked, standing in front of her, the coolers next to her.

  She frowned. “I guess not.”

  Before she knew it Rowan’s mouth was on her. She pushed Kate against the desk, kissing her hard, her hands in her hair, her body flush against Kate’s.

  And then, as quickly as the kiss began, Rowan stepped back with a lazy smile and ran a hand through her thick, dark hair while Kate was left breathless and trying to ground herself.

  “I had to do that before I left,” Rowan said with an easy shrug as she headed out to her car with the order of beef.

  Kate followed and waved while Rowan drove away.

  The cheesy grin was still on her face.

  She blew out a breath and headed into the house to see if her dad was ready for his appointment.

  Warren was waiting in the living room, looking out the large window that overlooked the pastures.

  “Ready to go, Daddy?” Kate asked, stepping into the room behind him.

  He didn’t look over at her and she barely saw the shrug.

  She was about to speak when he turned and wheeled past hertoward the door. She kept quiet and followed him, opening the door for him, and loading his wheelchair into the truck.

  The drive to the rehabilitation hospital was mostly silent. She wanted to speak— the silence was suffocating— but she didn’t know what to say. Whenever she offered her dad encouragement, he only seemed to get more upset, so she said nothing. Neither did he, and they drove in discomfort to the city.

  As she pulled the truck into the parking lot and turned off the ignition, her dad spoke.

  “I don’t see why I have to do this. I don’t want to be here.” His voice was quiet, and he was looking out the passenger-side window.

  “These exercises are making you stronger,” she said.

  “For what?”

  The dejection in his voice was palpable.

  She looked at her dad, not knowing how to respond. The accident had been devastating, sure, but he was alive. As far as she was concerned, they could figure everything else out. He didn’t see it, though, and she didn’t know how to help him.

  “Let’s get this over with,” he said, and swung open the truck door.

  She made no move to get up. She just looked at him, seeing the utter defeat in his features— her dad. She’d always seen him as invincible.

  “I was hoping you’d start helping with the ranch soon.” She didn’t know where the words came from, and the instant she said them she was fairly certain she’d said the wrong thing, but her dad turned to her and closed the door. “Owen and Dean are working on making the barn and the office more accessible. There’s no reason you can’t help with things like feeding the horses or customer care.”

  “Kate, it’s not worth it,” her dad said.

  “Why are you so willing to give up?” she asked, feeling the frustration burn within her. Emotion choked her throat and tears threatened.

  “It’s not that I want to give up,” he answered. “It’s that I want to be realistic. I stopped being a rancher when I fell from that horse. You want us to keep the ranch going. You want me to go back to my life. But it’s different now. That life isn’t waiting for me. I should be moving somewhere small and accessible. I should sell the ranch. You should finish veterinary school. Why can’t you let this go?”

  “How can you? After everything. After Mom leaving. After all the work we’ve put in over the years. That ranch has been everything to us. It’s everything to me. You want to leave me just like she did.”

  “I’m not leaving you, Katie. I didn’t choose this. This just happened.”

  She couldn’t look at him anymore. She clenched her jaw and tried to breathe, trying to keep from crying. They sat like that in silence for a long moment until she was sure she could speak without crying. Very quietly she said, “You are choosing to leave me if you give up on this. You’re not the first person to be in a wheelchair. The others don’t all quit their lives. Things are different. You didn’t choose that. But you can either choose to throw away the rest of your life, or you can choose to try to find a new way to be a rancher.”

  “It’s not just about my life.” She heard the emotion thick in his voice as well. “My choice affects you, and I don’t want my choice to mean you have to give up on your dreams.”

  “The ranch is my dream.” The frustration gripped her tighter. She didn’t know how to mak
e her dad see that. “You can make whatever choice you want, but I’m choosing to keep running the ranch regardless of what you decide.”

  “Katie—”

  “No. I don’t want to hear it. I’m giving up on being a veterinarian. I was hoping we could get the ranch to a more stable place and then I would go back to school. Maybe I’d have to do my courses at night for a while, but you could start helping again, and we could hire more staff if need be.”

  “I don’t want you to put your dreams on hold.”

  She held his gaze. “This ranch is home. It’s all I’ve ever known. It’s where I fell in love with animals, and it’s why I want to be a veterinarian. I don’t want to give up on it. In fact, I’m not going to give up on it. Just don’t leave me to carry it on my own. Please?”

  He blinked, his eyes misty. “I don’t want to leave you to carry it on your own. I just don’t know what to do.” His voice broke on the last few words.

  “That’s why we’re here,” she said. “The therapists here are going to help you. They’re going to give you exercises to build your upper body strength and familiarize you with getting around in that wheelchair.”

  He stared down at his lap, his expression unreadable. Finally, he nodded. “Okay.”

  “Okay?” Hope blossomed in her chest.

  He nodded a little bigger. “Yeah. But we’d better get going. We’re already late.”

  She leaned across the console and wrapped her arms around him, the relief washing over her in a wave of emotion. Kissing the stubble on his cheek, she said, “Thank you.”

  He grunted gruffly, but she could tell he had softened. She saw her hope mirrored in his eyes.

  “We’re going to make this work.”

  “Okay,” her dad said again.

  She smiled. For the first time since the accident she had her dad with her.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Rowan had done little else besides daydream about Kate all day. After Kate left she had intended to go back to sleep, but she had wound up lying in bed thinking over the previous evening, happy and sated. She’d have stayed there all day, enjoying the drifting of her thoughts, an amalgamation of memories and new imaginings, had she not needed to work, but work was cushioned by the fact that the first order of business involved going to see Kate.