Say No More

by Rose, Karen

  Daisy sucked in a harsh breath. ‘You will not feel guilty that he spared you,’ she hissed. ‘Whatever the reason.’

  Gideon’s smile was sad. ‘Yeah. I’ll send the memo to my conscience.’ He half turned in his chair, pulling Daisy to him. ‘But thank you.’ He kissed her hair, then looked around the table. ‘The night my mother smuggled me out, I’d just accidentally killed Ephraim’s brother, Edward. We didn’t know they were brothers at the time. We thought they were friends. Ephraim came after me with a small mob.’ He swallowed hard. ‘They attacked me and I stabbed Ephraim’s eye out in self-defense. That was what pushed Mama to get me out. I didn’t know that Waylon died soon after I left.’

  ‘It wasn’t even two days later,’ Mercy remembered. ‘We were in shock, Amos and I. I thought Mama was too, but now I can see it was grief. She’d left Gideon at the Redding bus station, clinging to life. The Founding Elders said that Gideon had run away after killing Edward because he was lazy – Gideon, I mean. They said he’d died. Waylon brought back remains.’ She had to take a second to rebuild her composure because the image was still crystal clear in her mind. ‘They made us look. It was a person, but I couldn’t identify him as Gideon.’

  Gideon gasped quietly. ‘They made you look?’

  She nodded, her cheeks wet. She made no move to dry her eyes. There didn’t seem to be much point when her tears were running like a damn river. ‘Mama and me. I . . .’ She exhaled, trying to calm her churning stomach through sheer will. ‘Mama said it was Gideon.’

  Farrah made a pained noise. ‘She lied?’

  Mercy nodded. ‘Looking back, I think it was so that Ephraim would believe that Gideon was dead so he didn’t go searching for him. The body . . . the remains . . . there was a tattoo. An Eden tattoo. Or part of one. He’d been torn apart, whoever he was.’ She turned to Rafe. ‘Let’s add that person to our list of people who need justice. He wasn’t from Eden. Gideon was the only one missing from the compound. I never even considered it before now. Never could make myself remember it. But somebody died that night. I can only assume that Waylon kidnapped someone and made it look like he’d been “devoured by wolves”.’ She crooked her fingers, then explained to the others. ‘That’s what happened to dissenters. They were cast out of Eden, to be “devoured by wolves” or bears or whatever.’

  ‘How often did that happen?’ Tom asked. He was taking notes on a tablet that looked like a tiny Post-it note in his big hands. Somehow him taking notes made this easier. Like it was someone else’s life story.

  No, it isn’t. It’s my story. And Gideon’s. They hadn’t asked for this. They hadn’t done anything wrong. A thought struck her and she narrowed her eyes. ‘Did you write down the part about Gideon accidentally killing Edward McPhearson?’

  Tom met her gaze directly. ‘No. Although if I had, no one would come after Gideon. It was self-defense. But I’ll let you read my notes when I’m finished if that will help.’

  Mercy nodded once. ‘It would. Three times that I remember, to answer your question. Members of Eden turned up either as remains – usually recognizable – or were buried outside the compound if there weren’t enough remains to bring back. Gideon was the only one I remember of the three whose supposed body was not recognizable.’

  ‘I also remember three. Two of them might be the same as Mercy remembers, but one was when I was only five years old. We’d only just arrived then, so I’m sure you don’t remember that one, Merce.’

  ‘No. The first I remember was when I was four years old.’

  Gideon nodded. ‘So, during our total time in Eden, four times, including me.’

  Daisy growled and Brutus popped her little head up out of the bag Daisy always wore. ‘It’s okay, girl,’ Daisy murmured, petting the animal.

  Mercy wished desperately that she had Rory in her own lap. Her cat always knew when she needed comfort. But Rafe still held her hand and that was definitely helping.

  ‘So Waylon died two days after Gideon supposedly ran away and was found dead,’ Tom said. ‘When in reality, he’d facilitated Gideon’s escape.’

  ‘Yes,’ Mercy confirmed. ‘I don’t know what DJ told people about me.’

  Tom tilted his head. ‘And your mother?’

  Mercy drew a shuddering breath, the words freezing on her tongue. ‘I . . .’ Rafe put his arm around her and drew her close. She pressed her forehead to his upper arm, suddenly struggling to breathe. ‘Give me a minute.’

  ‘Want me to say it?’ Rafe whispered. ‘No one will think less of you if you can’t say it.’

  I would, she thought. Mama deserves to have this story told. Again she braced herself and told Tom, ‘DJ killed my mother. In front of me.’

  ‘Oh.’ It was a small cry from Zoya, full of hurt. ‘I’m so sorry.’

  She patted Zoya’s hand, the young woman’s guileless concern like a balm. ‘Thanks, hon.’ She turned back to Tom. ‘He took us to the Redding bus station, grabbed me from the back of his truck, and dumped me on the parking lot. I couldn’t move. I was . . . hurt. And sick with fever. I had an infection.’

  ‘Because of Ephraim,’ Gideon gritted out, his hands clenched into fists. ‘Sonofabitch.’

  Mercy didn’t have the emotional energy to comfort him at the moment, but luckily Daisy’s small dog did, licking the knuckles of his fist. Gideon choked back what had probably been a sob, taking Brutus from Daisy to cuddle against his own chest.

  The sight made Mercy smile. And gave her the push to finish the story. ‘DJ told me Brother Ephraim was coming and that just . . . froze me. He’d told Mama to stay in the back of the truck, but she ran to me, just as DJ pulled out his gun.’ She focused on Gideon as if he were the only one in the room, because he should have been. She should have told him this story when they were alone. When he could cry if he wanted. But then she understood that here, with his family and people he trusted, was the perfect place to tell him. They’d comfort him, even if she didn’t have any comfort left to give by the time she was finished.

  ‘Mama threw herself on top of me,’ she told her brother. ‘Tried to protect me. Said, “You promised!” But DJ laughed. He said, “I promised to get you out. I never promised to let you live.” Then he pulled her off me and shot me.’ She touched her abdomen, where she still had an ugly scar. ‘Mama was screaming, but no one was there to hear us. He shot her next, in the same place. She fell, telling DJ that Ephraim would kill him for this, but he just laughed again.’ She closed her eyes, for the first time allowing her conscious mind to replay the moment without interruption. She knew it by heart, because her sleeping mind replayed it all the time. ‘He said, “No, he won’t. He never does. He can’t”.’

  Tom was typing on his tablet, his eyes never leaving her face. ‘And then?’

  She pressed her lips together. Just a little bit more. ‘He told me to watch. And he shot her in the head.’ She touched her temple. ‘Here. Then he threw her back into the truck bed.’ She became aware of wetness on her neck and realized it was Rafe. He’d buried his face there and he was crying too, and suddenly she needed this to be over. ‘And then he left.’

  Everyone was silent until Tom cleared his throat. ‘He . . . left you there?’ he finally asked.

  ‘Well, not right then. After he put Mama in the back of the truck, he came back for me, to finish me off, I suppose. But someone drove into the parking lot. A cop.’ She frowned, the memory fuzzy. ‘Maybe? There were flashing lights and DJ thought they were cops. The car turned its headlights on us and it was so bright.’ She could remember the brightness, how it hurt her eyes. The fear. The empty pit of despair. ‘DJ ran back to his truck and drove away. Eventually paramedics came. One was a woman. I remember her saying that I’d be okay, that they’d help me. And after that I woke up in a hospital bed.’

  ‘They were not cops,’ Irina said, her voice thick, her eyes red. ‘I know this part, because I was working in t
he hospital when you were admitted, Mercy. Not in your ward, but I heard about the girl who’d been left for dead in Redding and airlifted to us. The girl who had two lockets that had the decoration that my Gideon wore on his chest.’

  Mercy blinked at the woman. ‘I didn’t know that.’

  ‘You were catatonic,’ Irina said. ‘You sat and rocked when you were healed enough. Before then, you just stared at the ceiling. For hours. It broke our hearts, the nurses.’

  ‘Who were the people, if they weren’t cops?’ Tom asked.

  Irina shook her head. ‘I don’t know their names, but they would be listed in the police report. The driver was a security guard, a private one. I can’t remember his employer, but he did come in the day after you were admitted to see how you were doing. That was according to your nurse at the time, who was a friend of mine. She’s the one who told me about you. The security guard told her that he’d come to pick up his wife at the bus station, but that he was really early. He’d been sleeping in his car, out of sight of the shooter’s truck, when he heard the screams. He didn’t know what to do, so he figured he’d turn on his lights and maybe scare the shooter away. He felt bad that he didn’t get out of his car, that he’d “only” called 911, but he had no medical training, so he wouldn’t have known what to do. The paramedics were there in minutes.’

  ‘That was still brave of him,’ Mercy murmured, resolving to find the man’s name and thank him. ‘He saved my life that night.’

  Rafe’s hand tightened on hers and he lifted his head. ‘We need to thank him.’

  Mercy nodded. ‘I was thinking that. Can you get his name, Rafe?’

  Tom was still frowning. ‘I’ll dig into the records for you. But I’m confused. You had two lockets when you were brought into the hospital – yours and your mother’s, I assume.’

  ‘Yes,’ Mercy said, not sure what his question was.

  ‘Well, I thought that the lockets were on heavy chains. Welded on. Impossible to break. How did you get both lockets?’

  Mercy blinked again. She’d never wondered about that, but Tom was right. ‘He cut them off us.’ Another memory surfaced, this one not normally part of her nightmares. ‘He had bolt cutters and he cut them off us and buried them in the dirt. When he drove away, all I could think of was that I needed the lockets, so I crawled to where he’d buried them and dug them up.’

  Gideon stared at her. ‘Why would he do that? Why bury the lockets?’

  Mercy stared back. ‘I have no idea. Maybe he was trying to hide any evidence that would connect to Eden? I didn’t even remember that till just now. I just remember needing to get to the lockets.’

  ‘Because they were the last you had of your mother?’ Sasha asked.

  ‘Maybe. Or . . .’ It was a hard truth to admit, even now. ‘Or maybe the lockets were such a critical part of our lives, I felt wrong without mine even though I hated it. It was like an identity or part of our spirituality. It’s difficult to explain. Kind of like a talisman. Even though it was really a display of ownership.’ She shrugged.

  ‘Can you remember anything else about that night, Mercy?’ Tom asked.

  She closed her eyes and let the scene play a final time. For now, anyway. She was certain she’d pay for opening the floodgates of her memories when she closed her eyes to sleep later. ‘He thought Gideon was dead. He said that we’d die there, like Gideon did.’

  Rafe stiffened. ‘So he knew that Gideon had escaped to the bus station?’

  ‘Oh.’ Mercy’s eyes widened. ‘Oh yeah, you’re right. I don’t know if all the leadership knew Gideon had escaped, but I kind of don’t think so, because they would have hunted him down.’

  Daisy grimaced, but Gideon’s face was scrunched in thought. ‘So if DJ knew I’d at least made it to the bus station,’ he said thoughtfully, ‘but thought I’d died there, does that mean he heard that from Waylon?’

  ‘Maybe?’ Mercy hadn’t considered that. ‘I mean, at the time we were reeling over the fact that you were dead. We didn’t know that Waylon had helped you escape, so it wasn’t anything we thought about. Later, when DJ said that you’d died at the bus station . . . well, I was in shock. I wasn’t thinking clearly about anything other than that Mama was dead. I didn’t give much thought to what Mama had said about you not being dead until you walked into my foster home a few months after I’d been released from the hospital.’

  ‘I’ve noted that DJ also thought you were dead and that his father might have told him,’ Tom said. ‘And that Waylon died not too long after. Understanding the culture and power structure of the cult could be key in finding them and bringing them down. Let’s go back to the people who were supposedly “devoured.” Of the four incidents you both remember, we know one was a lie. I mean, someone died, but it wasn’t Gideon. Is it possible that the others escaped as well?’

  Mercy shook her head. ‘The other two that I remember, the people were identifiable. Now, their families? I don’t know.’ When Tom looked confused she sighed. ‘We moved the whole compound after each person was discovered. Their families did not come with us. Nobody ever spoke of them again. It was widely believed that they returned to the “world.” The “world” being not Eden.’

  ‘We know a few people escaped,’ Daisy said. ‘Eileen escaped back in November. Also Levi Hull, the young man who later killed himself and whose boyfriend got an Eden-style tattoo. He got out about seven years ago. There’s one other that we’ve been looking for. His tat is on Instagram, but you know about him, Tom.’

  Tom nodded. ‘We still don’t know who that person is or was, but the search is still active. Gideon, what about the people you remember that Mercy doesn’t because she was too young?’

  ‘Oh.’ Gideon was still stroking Brutus, who occasionally licked at his chin. He frowned, thinking. ‘Marcia,’ he finally said. ‘Her name was Marcia. She had two kids, Bernice and Boaz. They were twins, but older than me, so we didn’t play together or anything.’ Then he inhaled sharply. ‘Shit, how could I have forgotten that? Marcia was Pastor’s wife. It was a horrible day when their bodies were brought back. Not recognizable. They were gone almost a week when they were discovered in a ravine. Their bodies had been heavily scavenged. I remember that church was canceled for a long time – days and days – because Pastor went off by himself to search for them, then later to mourn when they buried them. Nobody was allowed to play or smile or even talk. People walked around on tiptoes. It was awful. Mama drilled into my head that there were animals out there and we were not supposed to go outside the gates alone, ever.’

  Mercy closed her open mouth with a snap. ‘Pastor had kids before he adopted DJ?’

  Gideon’s brows rose. ‘Pastor adopted DJ after Waylon died? Interesting. I mean, Pastor had always spoiled DJ, but DJ was Waylon’s son. That’s what DJ stood for, he told me once. He was Waylon Jr.’

  Sasha tilted her head, puzzled. ‘How do you get “DJ” from “Waylon Jr.”?’

  Gideon waved a hand impatiently. ‘Double-you-jay was too hard to say, so they called him DJ.’

  Sasha shook her head. ‘Okay.’

  Gideon reached around Daisy to tug on Sasha’s ponytail fondly. ‘Don’t think too much. Most of the names in Eden were strange. Point is, DJ was not Pastor’s biological son.’

  ‘Yeah,’ Mercy said, ‘but after Waylon died, Pastor adopted him. He moved in with Pastor and everything.’

  ‘What was Pastor’s name?’ Tom asked.

  Mercy and Gideon stared at each other. ‘I have no idea,’ Mercy said. ‘He was always just Pastor.’

  Gideon dropped his gaze to Brutus, petting her batlike ears. ‘I don’t remember, but I heard it. DJ might even have told me. He was four years older than me, but he’d play with me sometimes. Teach me stuff.’ His expression shifted, then paled. ‘Oh,’ he breathed. ‘Until I was nine. After that, he’d shove me away and bully me. Gave me a black eye once.
I thought it was because I was a little kid and he was finally a teenager, but . . . he changed. He got . . . mean.’

  Mercy immediately understood. ‘When he turned thirteen.’

  Rafe slumped in his chair. ‘Maybe he was also abused.’

  ‘He was Edward’s apprentice,’ Gideon murmured. ‘Same as me. So yes. It’s likely.’

  ‘But no excuse,’ Irina said harshly. ‘We can pity the boy who was abused, but we cannot excuse the man that boy became.’

  ‘No. We can’t.’ Mercy suddenly felt so tired she thought she’d fall over. ‘I hope we’re done, Tom. I can’t think anymore and Farrah’s already asleep.’

  It was true. Farrah had fallen asleep, her head on André’s shoulder.

  Tom checked the time and winced. ‘I’m sure I’ll have more questions for you later, but this is enough for me to get started. Thank you both. I know this wasn’t easy for either of you.’

  She and Gideon just nodded, both of them having hit the wall.

  ‘I’ll take you back to our place,’ Rafe said. ‘Daisy, can Farrah and André have the top floor?’ At Daisy’s nod, he turned to Mercy, looking as exhausted as she felt. ‘You can bunk with Sasha.’

  Irina sprang to her feet, pulling Karl up to his. ‘We will pack up this food. You will all take some.’ She pointed to Tom. ‘Even you.’

  He smiled up at her. ‘Thank you, Irina. I’d love that.’

  Mercy stood, then groaned. ‘Dammit.’

  Farrah blinked up at her sleepily. ‘What?’ She looked around, abruptly alert, then socked André in the shoulder. ‘You let me fall asleep?’

  ‘You needed it,’ André said affectionately. ‘And no, you didn’t snore. This time.’

  She gave him the evil eye, then focused on Mercy. ‘Dammit, what?’

  ‘I forgot about that interview. The one you set up, Daisy.’

  ‘We moved it to tomorrow evening,’ Daisy said uncertainly. ‘That way you can figure out what you want to say. Today was too emotional in every way. I hope I didn’t overstep.’