“You give us a longer life and purpose when you change us. We only know our instincts before you gift us.”
“I don’t think Tollam views what I did to him as a gift.”
“Maybe not at first. You saw that room you were in and you know what they did there trying to figure out how to gain what you did to him. You run to calm yourself. Maybe when he experiences that, he will stop looking at it as a bad thing.”
“I don’t think so Frog. He always smelled of hot peppers and sewage when he looked at me. He really hated me and wanted me dead. He would have killed me if I hadn’t changed him. I could have killed him instead of changing him, but I didn’t. If I had killed him, none of this would have started.”
“You’ve never killed before. I don’t think you are capable of it. I’ve listened to you talk about how you don’t want to hurt people.”
She let everything she had been feeling, but unable to talk about how she didn’t see how she was supposed to do what they kept telling her she was sent for without hurting people. Even if she didn’t do it directly, creating an army from simple animals was hurting them. They could have easily lived the rest of their lives not knowing war and being what they were born to be. She didn’t want to die, but she still doubted there would still be war if she flew to the humans and let them kill her.
Frog asked her what everyone asked her and she still didn’t know the answer. Could she even die if she could heal herself like she could? She dismissed Frog’s suggestion and told him Belisarus wouldn’t have taken her as a baby if she couldn’t die if he only did it to protect her. Frog pointed out something she hadn’t thought of. Maybe he wasn’t trying to keep her from being killed. If the humans found out she could heal, they might try to study her. If the tribes knew who she was, war would break out before she knew who she was to do anything.
“Frog, you know it still hurts, even if it heals itself. I don’t know why those three boys are fighting over me when I don’t think I’m supposed to be here when this all ends.”
“Terros is angry and keeps commenting that you are a flesh and blood girl and not a god. What if you are the way you are because you were meant to live your life out after this?”
“I’d rather just be a flesh and blood girl. I don’t want to be this god and I don’t want to be a princess either. When all of this ends, I’m sure they will expect me to rule if I don’t die or disappear. If I had to be the princess Lisana, why couldn’t I just be a normal Tempris?”
“They haven’t said anything to make me think you are supposed to die. Volaris said he would knock you from the sky if you tried to fly back and let them kill you. I keep having to sit between you and Sono or he would keep trying to touch you. They all wouldn’t be fighting over you like this if you were supposed to die when all of this is over.”
“They didn’t know when I was coming, they don’t know how I’m supposed to do what they think I will do, and they don’t know what happens to me when this is over. They only know what they are pressuring me to. They haven’t even bothered asking me what I want to do.”
Frog put his hands in her hair like Esylle had done. He never did this before. He asked her if she even knew what she wanted. She confessed she didn’t know. So much had happened since they left Idric and she hadn’t really processed all of it. She still didn’t know how she was supposed to stop a war without hurting people and she thought creating soldiers from animals was hurting them. Frog stopped her. He told her he could speak for the animals she was changing because she changed him.
“Even just spending a day like you that ends dying in a fight eclipses everything you experience in your old form. I eat things I couldn’t eat before. I hear things differently now. My sense of touch is different. It’s a gift no matter what you think and anyone you change would be honored to fight for you. I know you are about to say no one should die for you, but all of the tribes have been waiting for you so long, I think they would consider it an honor.”
She heard shouting and could hear Terros. He could smell them, but he couldn’t see them. She could hear him crying that they were close. She asked Frog to change, but he refused. He told her they talked enough and she needed to get back to the people that needed her.
Terros
Terros concentrated on the smell of amber resin that came off of the girl because she was the only one who smelled of it because of who she was. He could smell she was close and could smell something strange he had never smelled before he met her friend. He knew Frog was also close. How was the girl supposed to protect them if she couldn’t stay and concentrate on what she was supposed to be learning and ran off just because her friend’s feelings got hurt?
He could see how young she was every time he looked at her, but why hadn’t that old fool prepared her and trained her for this? Why hadn’t he taught her to control her emotions? Oris was getting just as bad as the girl. He insisted on coming with Terros to find her. Volaris was soaring above them. He was also angry with Esylle. When the girl left, both Terros and Volaris were shouting at her to go after her, but she calmly told both of them to let her go and refused to go after her. She was the only one who could get close to her when she used her Tempris abilities against them.
He saw Oris change next to him and looked over confused. He changed back himself when he noticed the girl coming from under branches with her friend. She looked upset and he placed his hand on Oris' chest to stop him from going to her. Volaris and Sono flew down and he watched Volaris do the same to Sono.
“You can’t keep doing this!” Terros erupted. “You left in the middle of your lesson. Stop acting like a child and learn what you are here to do!”
“You keep forcing me and telling me to do what you want. You haven’t asked what I want. If you keep yelling at me and forcing me to do things, I’ll just fly back to Idric and stay there!”
“How are we supposed to do anything with this child?” he exploded at Volaris. “How is she supposed to do anything she’s supposed to do if she just disappears when she feels like it? Why did she have to come to us like this?”
Terros was surprised Volaris didn’t look angry anymore. “She came this way for a reason. I’m sure it will be revealed soon. Part of her is human with human emotions. Calm down and don’t send her back to Idric. If she leaves and we try to bring her back, we will lose that fight. Did you make your friend feel better?” he asked the girl.
Terros was furious Volaris was chastising him when he wasn’t the one disappearing and not learning what they were here to do. He couldn’t even look at the girl, he was so angry. He didn’t want to look at that young face because it wasn’t what was promised to them. If she had to come this way, she should have been prepared from the moment that fool took her far away from the humans.
Even if he really was her grandfather and didn’t feel like he could tell her because of how she appeared, he should have thought about what was best for the tribes instead of himself. Terros didn’t know why he expected different from Belisarus considering what he had done before they sent him away. Terros’ father was the one that sent him away. He was only thinking of himself and not his tribe when he mated with the Tark woman. Terros didn’t understand, no matter how selfish he thought Belisarus was, why he hadn’t prepared this girl for anything knowing how important she was.
“We just needed to talk, the two of us, like we did back home. There are things I can’t say to any of you because you don’t know me like Frog does and I don’t know you.”
“I would hope after you let me help you that you would know you can speak to me after what we experienced together.”
“I hoped you would think you can talk to me to after we’ve spent so much time gathering food together.”
“You only wanted to mate with me and you only want to talk to me because of who I am to you! You don’t know me at all!”
Terros wound up having to hold Oris back when the girl said Volaris had mated with her. He was yelling and trying to attack Volaris.
Everyone was speaking at once because neither Oris nor Terros knew he had mated with her and why she was not now married. Everyone was screaming and Terros didn’t think he would be able to hold his son back much longer.
He should have known the girl was going to erupt again. They were all blown on their backs by a huge wave of heat and she stood by the fallen tree she had emerged from with her hair blowing back. She kept the heat contained after she blasted them, so they weren’t inching away from her.
“Stop fighting! I didn’t know what was happening to me and Volaris fixed it for me. I liked it and I don’t regret it because I didn’t want to feel that way anymore. The only reason you’re upset is because you wanted it to be you and the only reason you want it to be you is because of who I am to you. You don’t know anything about me to fight over me because of who I really am. All any of you care about is what I’m supposed to do and not who I am. I’m still a person with feelings!” she snapped, storming off again.
Terros hoped she was going back to the clearing everyone was in instead of disappearing further into the woods where she would be risking herself. She went in the direction of the clearing and her friend followed.
Oris
Oris was furious Volaris had taken her first mate. He should have waited until all the princes were present and had them chose her a husband. He knew why he did it. It wasn’t to make her feel better like she said. It was an honor to take the Spirus first mate and he took that himself without even consulting the other tribes. Terros and Volaris moved to follow the girl and he was surprised when Sono stayed back with him.
“I didn’t like it either,” he told him. “I thought it should have been me and he should have performed the ceremony.”
Sono was his rival right now, despite how long they had been friends. “It shouldn’t have been either of you! You should have waited until all of us were there and chosen her husband out of the three of us.”
“You don’t understand what was going on. She didn’t know this would happen to her, nor what was supposed to happen when you mate. She tried with the tall human because he was the only one who smelled right to her. I’m only glad he knew what was going on and sent her away. Any of those other humans wouldn’t have stopped her and they would have been the ones who did it. Her first mate shouldn’t be with a human. She agreed to it and let my father make how she was feeling go away. I didn’t like sitting there and listening to it.
“You’ve seen how she is. If he had suggested it be me and tried to do the ceremony, she would have gotten angry. I know you want what I want, but you’re doing it wrong and upsetting her. You know why she can’t keep running off. She thinks we are fighting over her because we only want to be with her because of who she is. She doesn’t seem to understand what she looks like to us. She still considered herself a regular person aside from what she is and that is what she wants us fighting over. You know she’s not going to like the idea of having a husband chosen for her. If you want a shot at her choosing you, talk to her like a regular girl. That’s what I do and that’s what she wants,” Sono said, leaving him in the clearing.
Oris slowly made his way back. He had never had to try to win over a girl before. The Theran girls his age always flirted with him and he never had to do anything but look at them. He had hoped, when his father told him it was time to marry, that he would have chosen one of the better-looking girls who always seemed to flock around him. Pulvi, the girl his father had chosen for him, was a hunter. She turned into a sleek black cat like he had seen Soryn do. She had never tried to talk to him before and seemed unimpressed with him when they were introduced. She had the blonde hair and green eyes of the Theran, but a plain face. He didn’t like her and didn’t want to marry her and mate with her.
He knew Sono was trying to help him, but he had no idea how to talk to or impress this girl. He never had to before. All the Theran girls were impressed by him. He didn’t know if he wanted this girl more because she didn’t seem to do that and didn’t seem to care about what he looked like at all. She either didn’t care what she looked like either or didn’t seem to be aware she was the most beautiful girl Oris had ever seen.
If he needed to talk to her like a regular girl, he would try, he just didn’t know how he would get her alone to get to know her like Sono said she wanted. He couldn’t go with her to gather food because she ate differently than he did. Sono always went with her and that bothered Oris. As soon as she got back with him, she was surrounded by the kings and Esylle with them pushing her to learn.
When he got back to the clearing, she was back at the fire with Terros and Volaris. Esylle and Joron were sitting next to her and her strange friend was nearby. Sono and Neptis had joined them. He went and joined them, upset he couldn’t sit close to her. He sat and listened to the conversation. They were talking to her again about the mouse she had changed.
“Where is he now?” she asked. “He never asked to be changed and fight your war.”
“He’s with the other Theran being taught their ways,” Esylle told her. “He’s quite happy with being changed and has questions. How did you know what to do after you changed him?”
“They made me angry. I didn’t know I was changing him until he ended up in my lap. When I touched him, I saw images in my head that I tried to get him to see. I did it the only way I could think of. I touched him and made him look me in the eyes. I didn’t know if I could, but I thought he should have clothes, so I made them. None of that happened when I touched Frog. I was young when I touched Frog and I thought it was bad that it happened. I only touched him again to bring him inside so Belisarus could change him back. If I’m supposed to do this, why did he tell me not to do it again? Why didn’t he tell me how to help Frog instead of spending hours in the backyard trying to teach him? How do you know these animals you want me to change even want to be changed and fight for you?”
“You may have been too young when you changed Frog. You may not have been able to help him like you helped Gritt. That was the name he chose when we brought him to the Theran. Maybe if you went over and talked to him, you would see how happy he is with what you have gifted him.”
“You keep talking about this as me gifting who I change. I don’t think Tollam views what I did to him as a gift and when you put a sword in Gritt’s hand and put him in danger, I’m sure he would prefer being a mouse again.”
“Let me take you to the Theran,” Oris said. He finally knew what to say to her. “My father and I are the only Theran you have met. You should meet the rest of us and maybe hearing from Gritt directly will make you feel better.”
He was relieved when she stood up to leave with him and ignored the looks from Sono and Neptis when they left.
Leodos
Everyone dispersed once Soryn left with Oris. He was still sitting at the fire with Esylle and Joron. He called the four humans that had stayed to come sit with them. They had been keeping their distance since the tribes had arrived.
“Why did you refuse to go after her when she left?” he asked Esylle. It was the first time Soryn had stormed off that she hadn’t tried to follow or demanded someone go after her. Leodos didn’t understand why she let her go off alone when she had been against it this entire time.
Esylle told them what had happened when she went after her after Oris and Sono fought in front of her. The girl was finally starting to relax around her and ask her questions. She knew she wasn’t completely comfortable around her and she understood the bond between Soryn and Frog. The two of them needed to be alone. Leodos was surprised and asked her what she would have done if something had happened to her when she disappeared.
“As much as I don’t like it, she’s grown up now and can take care of herself. You saw what she did before she disappeared. She’s coming into the powers they tell her she should have. If someone had tried to hurt her out there, there is so much she could have done to defend herself.”
“What if there was an entire human army out there? She keeps saying
she doesn’t want to hurt anyone and she doesn’t view these powers as a good thing. She’s already suggested once letting the humans kill her. How do you know that idea is not still in the back of her head?”
“She doesn’t know what is supposed to happen to her after all of this. She doesn’t know if she’s supposed to survive. She still doesn’t know if she can die or not. I think Volaris explained things in a way that she can understand, that having the humans kill her is not going to end things and make the tribes in any less danger.”
“What do they expect of us?” Bastan asked. “We are human, but this girl is special and just getting to know her, I don’t want to see her killed. I’ve listened to the tribes speak. I don’t think they want war either, they just want to live in the peace they say she was promised for.”
Leodos looked at all four men. “I won’t fault you if you leave to join the other humans. You can make up a story about how we kept you here against your will when you found out about her so they don’t hurt you.”
“I don’t want to leave,” Bastan said, as the other three men nodded. “I never thought it was right to study the tribes, but I’ve always wondered what it was like to do what they do. Do you think she would change me if I asked her? I could fight with the tribes and they wouldn’t be so suspicious of me if I was like them.”
“Why would you want her to change you?” Leodos asked. He wasn’t sure Soryn would agree if they asked. He wasn’t sure if she had figured out how she was able to transform things like she did. She only seemed to be able to do it when she was angry or upset. He knew Volaris and Terros were going to push her until she learned. Fluvis never commented on their lessons, but Volaris noticed sometimes he looked at Soryn sadly, as if he felt bad for her.
The Spirus Page 17