The Spirus

by JB Trepagnier

Sono was backing away from the heat from both Esylle and Leodos. Soryn knew Esylle could control her heat, but this gift was new to Leodos and he may lose control and burn the room.

  “We just talked, like we always do. I fell asleep because I was relaxed. I felt safe and loved when I slept while he was holding me, the same as I did while you were holding me when I slept!” She knew she needed to tell them about her dreams and she knew everyone here loved her and she should be able to trust them. She finally admitted to all three of them that it was easier to sleep when they were holding her because the dreams didn’t come. She tried to explain her dreams to all of them and was surprised when the heat left both Leodos and Esylle and they only looked at her sadly.

  Leodos put his arm on Esylle’s. “I trust Sono. If she said they just talked and slept, that’s what they did. This is not like her night with Oris, where she is refusing to tell us what happened. Even if she had tried anything with Sono, I trust him to stop her. He loves her and wouldn’t do that with her while they are not wed.”

  “I’m glad you’re starting to tell us what you are thinking and what you need. If you’re scared, you can talk to us so we can try to ease your fears. If sleeping with someone holding you makes you feel safe and less afraid, I hope you’ll let me sleep holding you again.”

  Soryn could feel today how much Esylle loved her. She had just wanted her to rest before she fell asleep and she had surprised her with her name day celebration. She needed to learn to talk to Esylle like she talked to Frog. Leodos got her to tell him what she had only wanted to say to Frog and she was getting used to him. She knew she could trust him. She needed to let Esylle in too.

  “Frog won’t want to move beds to the servant’s quarters with the two of you in my bed now. Don’t you want to be alone together now? I gifted you the way I did because you’re supposed to have more children like me.”

  She was confused again. Leodos and Esylle had been sleeping in the servant’s quarters together since they got here, but the next morning, they never smelled like they had mated. She didn’t know why they hadn’t if they loved each other and already knew they would marry. Leodos came and sat on the bed next to her and ruffled her hair like he liked to do.

  “You think about mating too much. We won’t try to have children like you until this is over and we are properly wed.”

  “Don’t you want to try mating now that you know your feelings? You already know you will wed.”

  She watched Leodos turn purple and she knew she said something she wasn’t supposed to and embarrassed him again. “I know it was explained to you that mating is not done until you wed. That’s why we are waiting. Another thing that I think you need explained to you is that you don’t go around discussing it with others. You shouldn’t ask people that.”

  She looked at her hands and didn’t understand why mating was so complicated. It seemed easy when Volaris was mating with her, though a little painful at first. Oris taught her all kinds of things she didn’t know before. Volaris explained to her why it wasn’t done unless you were married. She didn’t know why it also couldn’t be talked about if it was just instinct and felt so good. Why wouldn’t you talk about something you enjoyed?

  “I guess there are still some things I don’t understand,” she said, playing with her fingers.

  “I don’t want to think about you mating and I don’t want you thinking about it so often either,” Esylle warned. “If you think the dreams won’t come if someone holds you while you sleep, you should come back to your chambers and I’ll hold you while you sleep again. You can’t stay the night with Sono, even if you are just sleeping. You know what everyone will think. You’re going to upset Neptis and Oris and you’re going to give the Farkhi false hope.”

  “I think this is the first time you’ve gotten angry at me directly for spending the night with one of the princes. You were so angry at Oris and you were both hot when you came in because you were angry at Sono. You should be mad at me too, not just them,” she said. She still didn’t know why Oris took all the blame for their night, nor why they had nearly erupted on Sono and not her. She was the first one to fall asleep tonight.

  Leodos pulled her to his chest. She was used to it now and relaxed. “It’s hard getting angry with you about some things because there’s so much you don’t understand and Belisarus never explained to you.”

  “You didn’t use to have trouble getting angry with me,” she said, smiling. “You were convinced there was something bad about me and all you did when we first started walking was yell at me.”

  “It’s late and you need to get back to your chambers and sleep. You wouldn’t have fallen asleep here if you had told us from the start about your dreams and let us help you,” Esylle fussed.

  Soryn knew Esylle loved her, but she didn’t see why she couldn’t understand she hadn’t been ready to tell her about the dreams before. She knew Esylle just wanted to be her mother again, but she was going too fast. Every time she tried to be around Esylle to get to know her, she would try to tell her how to feel and Soryn didn’t like it. She thought Esylle was finally easing up today and wasn’t trying to push her when she asked her to get back in bed and was able to relax enough to finally sleep when she held her.

  Leodos must have noticed she was uncomfortable again. The only reason she had told him why she had been acting the way they didn’t like was he seemed to notice when something was unfamiliar to her or they were going too fast and now stopped and tried to make it better for her. He held her tighter and she was surprised when he chastised Esylle. He hardly knew Soryn and he loved Esylle and wanted to marry her. She was surprised he took her side over Esylle as he told her that she had told them what she needed tonight and that she felt loved. She got uncomfortable again and Sono looked like he didn’t want to be there while Esylle and Leodos got into an argument over her. Esylle was arguing that she needed to know when Soryn needed help and Leodos was arguing with her that she would tell her when she was ready and started talking to her tonight.

  Sono got out of bed and moved away from her heat. She had forgotten she had gifted Leodos and briefly wondered how he still had her pressed tightly to his chest when she remembered he could be near her now. She shook him off and got out of bed. As much as she knew they hated it, she tried to make all of her emotions go away again and feel nothing.

  She looked at both Leodos and Esylle and could hear how her voice sounded. She knew it would hurt Esylle and she didn’t want to. She just wanted them to stop arguing. “It’s late. We should go back to our chambers and go back to sleep. I have to sit in the chair again when I wake up.”

  She turned and walked out the door. Leodos and Esylle were right at her heels. They weren’t arguing now and weren’t speaking at all. She could feel their eyes boring holes into her back. She didn’t speak to either of them as she went behind the shade and tried to make clothes she could sleep in. When she came back out, Leodos and Esylle seemed calmed towards each other and looked worried again. She was used to that look. She meant to ignore both of them and call Frog to bed. She didn’t want to be the cause of fighting between them. She wanted to watch them get married and seeing the two of them together, knowing it was her that made them confess their feelings finally, always made her want to smile. She didn’t want to be the thing that drove them apart too. She didn’t want to talk anymore and just intended on getting in bed and letting the dreams come. Esylle didn’t want her to.

  “What frightened you that the cold girl came back? You’ve finally started talking to me, please don’t stop.”

  “I wasn’t frightened. I was upset and I didn’t want to lose control with the three of you that close,” Soryn told her, unsure of herself. She needed to get used to talking to Esylle like she did Frog. Esylle had made her feel better when she woke up and she wanted her to make her feel better again.

  “We aren’t trying to plan your life for you. I know you don’t-”

  “I wasn’t upset because of that. I don’t want
the two of you fighting over me. You wouldn’t be together if it weren’t for me. I don’t also want to be the thing that drives you apart. I wanted you to stop fighting because it upset me and I still don’t know what happens when I get upset.”

  Esylle was gentle when she pulled Soryn into an embrace. “I’ve loved Leodos since I was younger than you are now. If I hadn’t met your father, I would have insisted on marrying him. You gave us a huge gift getting us to admit our feelings. We both loved each other in secret for so long, a simple argument is not going to drive us apart. Sometimes we don’t know what you want because you are just now starting to tell us. If you’ll allow me, I’d like to make your dreams stop again if I can.”

  Leodos said he would sleep in the servant’s quarters with Frog, but Soryn asked him to stay with them. The bed was large enough even for Frog to fit with the three of them. Leodos asked her if she was sure. She was feeling better now after Esylle told her it would be more difficult than she had thought to drive the two of them apart. She knew she wasn’t supposed to talk about it now, but she told him if they refused to mate until they were wed, they should at least be close while they slept. He ruffled her hair like he did whenever she said something she shouldn’t or she amused him.

  “Will you please stop having mating on your mind so much? You can do that all you want once you’ve chosen and wed, but I don’t want to hear about it when you do. Until you choose, I don’t want to hear anything about mating pass from your lips!” he chastised her. He had a smile on his face, so she knew he wasn’t angry with her.

  “It’s amusing to watch you turn purple when I do,” she teased.

  “Lisana, it’s good to see you smiling again, but if you have to sit tomorrow, will you please sleep? I see what the chair does to you and we always have to carry you back here. I worry it hurts and that’s why you faint.”

  “It doesn’t hurt me,” she tried to tell Esylle, climbing under the covers. “There’s just only so much of the light I can hold before it leaves and I have to sleep. It’s the same when I use it. When it’s gone, I have to sleep again.”

  Esylle crawled into bed on one side of her and pulled her to her again. The feeling of warmth and safeness flowed back into Soryn. She thought Leodos should lay on the other side of Esylle, so they could be together, but he laid on the other side of her and tried to hold what parts of her Esylle was not holding. Soryn wondered if she would be used to this feeling if she didn’t have to be who she was and had grown up with Esylle and her father. She felt safe now, like everything that had happened since she came to the mainland hadn’t happened. What she had to do slipped from her mind. The choice she would have to announce that no one would like left her. She forgot the dreams of war and the awful images that they showed her. All she could feel now was that she was being held by two people that loved her and only wanted her to be a normal girl. She slipped off to sleep and the dreams didn’t come.

  Volaris

  Sono was in Volaris’ chambers before he had hardly woken up. Sono was upset about something and he knew he should be listening, but he had drunk too much wine at the feast and he felt like Soryn had the next morning. He hadn’t meant to drink that much, but he was celebrating that the girl they knew was back, at least for one night. While he was trying to quiet his head, he thought it picked out Sono saying she had slept in his chambers that night. As much as the movement hurt, he jumped out of bed and asked Sono what he was thinking. He asked him if he only did it because Oris did and told him he should know better.

  He knew he should trust his son when he said all they did was sleep, but he knew the effect this girl had on them and he still wasn’t sure she had enough control to stop herself from doing something she knew she shouldn’t. He noticed Sono had brought him tea that would make his headache go away and started drinking it while asking Sono to swear they didn’t do anything they shouldn’t. Sono swore to him they didn’t and they just slept until Esylle and Leodos came and got her. Volaris asked him why he didn’t wake her when she fell asleep. He chastised his son for allowing her to sleep in his chambers because of what everyone would think.

  He paused, mid-sip, while Sono told him about their conversation and his fears. So far, the girl seemed to say the first thing that came into her head because she didn’t know better. Was she changing because she knew what she must face? Was she lying to them because she didn’t want them to die trying to save her? He pressed Sono for more information to see if he could read more into what Sono thought he had heard. He breathed a sigh of relief when Sono told him the chair wasn’t changing her and why she told him she had been acting the way she had. He wished she had given Sono more information when she said she meant to end the war with just five people. Did she intend for him to die as well?

  Sono explained to him the dreams she told them about. She said she only saw the previous war. Was she also seeing what was to come and not telling them? Did she go from saying the first thing that came into her head to making up stories to make them all placated? Getting to know her from walking for so long, he didn’t think she was capable of coming up with elaborate lies like this, but he also didn’t know what she was seeing in the chair.

  His head was feeling better from the tea Sono brought. He did the only thing he could think of. He told Sono since he knew she was just pretending to be cold, they would just go ask her what she meant. He flung his door open and stalked down the hall with Sono at his heels telling him this was a bad idea. None of them knew what this light did and he may make her lose control. He ignored him until he got at the door of her chambers.

  He knew he should knock and they may still be sleeping. He flung the chamber door open and Leodos bolted awake and went for his sword by the bed. Volaris didn’t know why he still relied on his sword when he now had fire. Esylle sat up looking confused. He could be near their heat now, but Sono couldn’t and left the room. He didn’t know why she gifted him this and not Sono. He knew Sono’s theory. The girl appeared to be in a deep sleep and sat up slowly, rubbing her eyes. She was half asleep when she asked him why he woke her. She asked him if she could at least wake up and eat before she sat again.

  “I want answers before you sit again,” he demanded. “You’ve told no one anything about what you’ve seen. You’ve just given riddles and changed people. I want to talk about what you told Sono last night and what else you’ve seen in your dreams. He has fears and now I do as well.”

  “Do we have to do this now?” Esylle asked, pulled Soryn to her like she was trying to shield her from Volaris. “This is only the first night she’s gotten proper sleep since she told us her dreams.”

  “You should be concerned with what she told Sono as well. She told him things that make both of us think she’s lying about staying to rule because she thinks that’s what we need to hear to not get involved with her plans. We both think she is lying because she knows she’s supposed to die when this is over. She knows we will try to protect her, so she’s coming up with elaborate stories so we don’t.”

  He watched both Leodos and Esylle swarm on her as they both tried to pull her to them, talking over each other at once. They were both demanding she answer and he watched as first flames flickered in her eyes, then they went dead again. She roughly fought both of them off and stood to face Volaris with the cold, marble face he didn’t like.

  “If Sono told you what we talked about, then he must have told you I don’t know what happens when I lose control now. Why are you coming in here upsetting me, my mother, and Leodos? I told Sono I wasn’t explaining what the chair was telling me because none of you would understand!”

  “If you have to die, explain to me why! Make me understand!” Esylle said. She was sobbing and got even more upset when she made to move towards Soryn and she pushed her away. They were all at her heels and everyone was yelling at once as she stalked down the hallway. Leodos caught her first because his legs were so long. He was in front of her in an instant, blocking her path and holding her shoulders try
ing to prevent her from leaving. He looked disturbed, but as soon as he looked down to her face, his face changed to concern and he pulled her into an embrace. He looked at Volaris over her head.

  “What were you thinking?” he hissed. “She’s finally starting to tell us what she needs. You know I won’t let her die. Why do you think trying to force her to tell you what happens will get an answer? She may have told us when she was ready if you hadn’t barged into our room!”

  “That’s exactly why she would never have told you no matter what you think. If she knows she is to die, she knows every single one of us would fight to the death to save her. Use your head for a moment. This entire journey, all she’s said is that she won’t choose and would go home when this is over. All of a sudden, she’s staying and ruling, even though she’s run off several times anytime anyone has brought it up to her. She says she knows what choice she needs to make regarding who she will marry, even though she’s said this entire time she doesn’t want to choose. She’s telling us the future we all want because she doesn’t want us to know what really happens to her. Did she tell you she intends to end this war with just herself and the four kings? How would that happen unless she intended for four of us and herself to die?”

  Volaris watched as she slipped out of Leodos’ arms and ran down the hall as the large black cat she liked to turn into when she needed to run. Volaris watched as Esylle changed the same way and ran after her. Volaris changed and flew after them. He was no match for her when she was like this. Esylle did not try to take her down and he knew she wouldn’t. This form was new for her and he knew she wouldn’t try to hurt her. Soryn went straight for the doors and even though the rest of them had so much trouble trying to open them, they swung straight open for her and she ran out into the sand. Soryn was used to running like this and Esylle was not. Volaris saw Esylle put forth a burst of energy and try to block her path. The rippling black muscles on Soryn flexed and she leapt straight over her and kept going. Esylle had to dig into the sand and go after her. She almost lost her as she approached the woods by the beach.