The Spirus

by JB Trepagnier

  There were things she needed to do today now that she was marked, but she was too upset to do them. She was sure the chair would invade her dreams if she didn’t get them done before bed. She just wanted to find Frog and sit with him. She was halfway down the hall when she felt someone grab her arm. She was trying to make herself dead inside again because the mark kept the light inside her now and she still didn’t know what she could do with it. She didn’t burn whoever was grabbing her because she had pushed everything away so that she felt nothing. When she turned and saw it was Sono that stopped her, she found that she couldn’t look at him.

  She almost said no and continued walking when he asked her to come to his chambers. As hurt as she was by what he had done, she didn’t like feeling that way and wanted him to make it better. She allowed him to hold her hand as he led her down the hall. He smelled like she knew she did right now. Like salt and bitter herbs. That smell was overwhelming this morning when everyone was upset and screaming because they thought she had been lying to them. She didn’t like that smell. Like fear, that made her want to run, this smell made her stomach feel like it was in her feet.

  Sono shut the door behind them and looked like he wanted to lie in bed like they had done last night. She didn’t think she could do that because she would relax and forget herself again. She would tell him things she wasn’t supposed to tell him and everyone would be upset with her again. She stood on the side of the bed with her arms crossed, looking at the floor, as Sono crawled across the bed so that he was kneeling in front of her so that they were almost eye level. She didn’t move and was still trying to feel nothing when he pulled her to his chest.

  “I’m sorry,” he murmured into her hair. “I didn’t mean to break your trust. I was just afraid and I always talk to my father when I’m afraid.”

  “Why didn’t you just wake me and ask me instead of bringing so many other people in?” she asked, pulling away from him. She moved away from him because the hurt she was feeling was starting to flow back in no matter how hard she fought and as upset as she was with Sono, she didn’t want to hurt him. He wouldn’t stay away and jumped up and tried to hold her again.

  “You asked if we could stop talking about it for the night and you fell asleep. You looked so peaceful while you were sleeping, I didn’t want to wake you. You’ve been doing so much for us and I know most of it, you don’t want to do. I just wanted to give you one night of rest. I wanted one night to just hold you while you slept. That’s why I didn’t wake you or carry you back to your own bed.”

  “Why didn’t you ask me in the morning? You say you want to marry me and tried to tell me what being married was like, but when something I said upset you, you didn’t ask me, you went straight to your father,” she said, pulled away from him again. It didn’t seem like he was going to stop trying to hold her and she still didn’t want to hurt him. “Please, don’t!” she cried, holding up her hand when he tried to touch her again. “I told you why I was afraid last night and I don’t want to hurt you, even if I’m angry with you right now.”

  “Soryn, I’m sorry. I should have asked you today in private, but I was so worried, I couldn’t stop myself from going to my father first. Maybe when you get to know your mother and Leodos more, you’ll understand.”

  She could not understand why he said that to her and felt the heat rising in her while he backed away. The heat came up, but the light was not doing anything. She couldn’t feel anything stir like when she normally used it as she could feel herself losing control with her fire. “I’m never going to have the same relationship with my mother and Leodos that you have with your father! He watched you grow and you learned from him growing up. I was taken away when I was a baby. I’m not like any of you here, but you all expect me to tell you everything like I didn’t grow up on Idric, away from everyone!”

  “Soryn, calm yourself. You’ll burn the room. I know you don’t want to hurt me and it’s too hot in here.”

  She tried to make the heart flower because the heat was racing through her and she couldn’t hurt Sono. She was trying to send it to the flower as fast as she could because she could see Sono was already sweating. She had never made the flower this fast before, but she had also not been upset like this since she had learned it. She couldn’t feel nothing right now like she had been. She could feel the flower glowing red hot in her chest and fell to her knees gasping when she closed it. It normally felt good to make it, but she had never tried when she was like this. Sono was on her in seconds.

  “You wanted me to come to you with my questions. If you’re choosing one of us, why didn’t you gift us so we can be near you when you are like this? Why did you only gift our fathers with that?”

  “You ask me to trust you with this after this morning?” She only agreed to follow him because she wanted him to make it better so she could go back to loving him, but he was making it worse. If this was what being married was like, she still didn’t want to wed and knew she had to.

  He knelt in front of her and took her face in his hands. The heat was gone now and she finally looked him in the eyes. She was surprised to see pain there. Even though he had hurt her, he was upset about something too. They knew now that she wasn’t lying, so she couldn’t imagine why he was still smelling like he was upset.

  “I never want to hurt you. I love you. We are all flawed and we make mistakes sometimes. I wish I could make you love me again like you said you did last night. I was scared I was going to lose you and I should have just asked you. I’m scared I’ve already lost you because of what happened this morning.”

  He looked at her with tears in his eyes at the idea that she had stopped loving him. She never stopped, she was just upset with him, and that confused her. She understood now, after what Sono said and watching Esylle and Leodos, that sometimes you got upset with people you loved. Esylle and Leodos forgave each other and seemed to forget about it when they had argued over her. Now that she was more comfortable about Esylle and Leodos and telling them things, they always tried to make it better for her. Maybe that’s why Sono went to his father instead of her. They had a relationship she was just coming to understand.

  “Can you ever forgive me? Do we have a chance of things ever going back the way they were between us?” he asked her with a tear running down his cheek. The salt and bitter herb smell was coming off him stronger now that he was crying.

  She understood now how upset he was at the idea that she may not love him anymore. She felt better now and wanted to make it better for him. He always kissed her first. She touched his tear, and then kissed him. He always kissed her gently and made her stop when she tried to kiss him more. He never kissed her the way Oris did that night, but when she kissed him now, he grabbed her and kissed her deeply. She wanted to respond, but she knew he had already told her he didn’t want to mate unless they were wed. Leodos and her mother would be upset if they did. She kissed him back as hard as he was kissing her, but expected him to stop, as he always had. She was surprised when he picked her up and carried her to the bed and started kissing her neck. She didn’t know what he wanted with her now, since he had already told her no several times. When he started tugging at her robes while nibbling on her ear, she asked. “I thought you didn’t want to unless we were wed. I’m confused.”

  “Do you know how hard it’s been to tell you no? I can’t do it a third time. If you want me to stop, I’ll stop,” he murmured, kissing her neck. Even though mating had rules, this was supposed to happen. She wasn’t going to force Sono when he told her no, but the chair told her it must happen and she enjoyed mating.

  The new mark on her back was still tender and lying on her back hurt. She rolled Sono over so that she was on top of him and tugged at his robes. “Are you sure?” she asked, kissing his chest. “You’ve always told me no. This is supposed to happen, but I wasn’t going to make you do something you didn’t want.”

  “I’ve wanted this so long, I’m not even going to ask you what that means,” he s
aid, tearing her robes. He sat up, pulling her close to him. His naked chest pressed into hers and she could feel his heart beating so fast. She was making the heart flower like she had done the last time she mated. He asked her about the glowing red flower on her chest. It seemed since she sat in the chair, people could see it now. She wasn’t sure if she could and this light seemed to be able to gift so many other things. Nothing had happened with it when she lost control earlier and she was less afraid of it now. She placed her hand over his heart and tried to transfer what she was feeling to him. He gasped and his head fell back. When she removed her hand, it left a glowing red hand print and it was outlined with the white light. She could feel a deeper connection between the two of them now. She knew he could feel what she was feeling and she could feel him as well.

  It wasn’t like this when she mated with Oris, but she didn’t have the light before. As much as she enjoyed that night, she knew this night would be different. “I can feel you,” he said, pulling her back to him. “How are you doing this?” He guided her back to his lap and she groaned as he slid into her.

  “I’m still learning this light. I wanted to see if I could connect us.” She wanted to say more, but his hands went to her hips and started to guide her on top of him. He was sitting up and holding her close. Every time he kissed a part of her body and she would shiver, he would too. If he wasn’t kissing her mouth, he was kissing another part of her. She moved faster and he held her closer, kissing her ear. She could feel it coming and ground her hips into him. She could tell he was feeling what she was feeling and was getting close too. When she finally saw white and felt waves shoot up from where they were joined, Sono was shuddering and had pulled her even closer.

  He didn’t let her go and held her close, kissing her neck. “That was amazing. Is our connection going to go away when you leave me? I don’t want to lose it,” he said, stroking her back.

  “I don’t know. I gave it to you not knowing if you would always be able to feel me when we are together. The chair told me this needed to happen, but I tried to connect us because I wanted to. I’d like to be able to at least do a few things I want.”

  “I don’t want to upset you after what we just experienced, but did the chair tell you that you just needed to do this with me or that you also need to do this with Oris and Neptis.”

  “Please don’t ask me that or why this was supposed to happen. It has to do with the choice I must make and I’m not discussing it.” They were still connected and he was still inside her. She felt anger flash through him and it made the heat rise in her.

  “Are you supposed to mate with all three of us and pick who is best?”

  “Sono, please don’t ask me about my choice. You will all both like and hate what I must announce. That’s why I’m not telling you until after this is over. You asked why I didn’t gift you like your fathers. I didn’t because you aren’t to come with us to end this. You’re too important for what happens after. I will gift you so that you can be near me when my fire is too hot when this is over. I know all three of you and if I gift you now, you will try to come with us to protect me and you can’t. No one is supposed to die, but any of you will if you follow us. I can’t protect that many people at once and some of you will die if you try to come.”

  She felt him calm slightly and she tried to make her heart flower bloom larger to make him feel good again. “How are you doing that?” he asked, kissing her again. “I felt something come from you that warmed my insides and made me feel good again.”

  “My mother taught me a Tempris trick. She taught me being Tempris is not just about being angry all the time and it can feel good if you use it right. If the connection doesn’t last, I’ll teach you when I give you Tempris gifts because I will also have to teach you to control them. I don’t think Terros is learning very well.”

  “Are you going to teach us or are you going to leave it to your mother and grandfather like you are doing with my father.” He was nibbling on her neck again and she felt him stir inside her.

  “I will teach all three of you. You’re all going to have to learn to share me.”

  He picked her up and placed her on her back. She ignored her sore back and wrapped her legs around him. “I’ll always think about this if you don’t choose me. I will always wish we could do it again. I don’t want this connection to go away,” he moaned, pressing inside her again.

  She knew she wasn’t going to get anything the chair told her she was supposed to do today done, but the chair also told her this was supposed to happen. She hoped the chair did not come to her dreams because she was at least doing one thing she was supposed to do.

  “You shouldn’t worry as much about my choice,” she gasped.

  “I don’t want to talk anymore. I just want to enjoy you while I have you,” he said, silencing her with a kiss.

  Oris

  Oris was searching everywhere for Soryn. Word had gotten back to the Theran about what happened this morning and she ran again. Volaris had called the other three kings and told them about the humans they saw and their plans. He still didn’t know what Soryn’s plans were since she still wasn’t telling them. Oris only heard bits and pieces when his father came back angry and was ranting and he had to stay across the room from him because he was still having difficulty controlling the fire she gifted him. When he heard she had gotten upset enough to run again and for some reason, chose to mark herself like the Farkhi, he knew he needed to find her.

  He searched all through Inanos and even knocked on her chamber door. Esylle and Leodos were inside and they both still looked upset, but told him they didn’t know where she went. He couldn’t imagine either one of them letting her leave when she was upset unless they had let her go with Frog. He would have thought they would be easy to find because no one else smelled like Frog. Even though he knew the humans may be out there and it was colder outside than what he was used to, he changed and tried to look for her outside, just in case she had gone running. He didn’t pick up her scent at all outside.

  He came back inside and it was getting late. They would be eating dinner soon. She had been busy since she arrived and if she wasn’t sitting in the chair, she was gifting people or telling them their history. He had heard she sat today and asked to be marked. He didn’t know if she was taking a much-needed break or if she was done with whatever the chair was showing her and would now start telling them her plans. He was hungry and was about to go eat with the rest of the Theran when he saw her coming down the hallway with Sono. Jealousy flashed through him as he watched them holding hands and laughing. He became furious when they got closer and he could smell the musky vanilla smell that they had mated earlier today.

  He strode over to Sono and slammed him against the wall. “I can smell what you did with her!” he yelled, drawing his fist back to strike him. He felt a hand on his arm and a warmth flowing through him like when she gifted him. He found his anger slipping away from him even though he knew in his heart he still wanted to strike Sono. He turned and Soryn had her hand on his arm and the light from her hand was flowing into him.

  “Oris, walk with me,” she asked, leaving Sono against the wall looking upset. When they were out of earshot, she turned to him. “You know why you can’t be angry with him. You said you only wanted one night with me and I wouldn’t hurt you. You taught me things I didn’t know and I enjoyed our night. I mated with you because I was relaxed from the spirits. I learned when I got here that it was supposed to happen. If you had waited instead of pulling me away, you may have enjoyed it more once I learned things here.”

  “I don’t know what you mean. You can’t mate with all three of us and pick which one is the better lover!” He wasn’t trying to get angry with her and he still thought there were some things about mating she didn’t understand. “You need a powerful husband and ally. Someone who can rule with you. You won’t learn that from mating with us and it’s not proper!”

  “Was it proper when you pulled me away from ever
yone when I was drunk with the intention of mating with me? You know why you can’t get angry about this. I’m not choosing who is the better lover. I understand more than you think. I don’t know why it needs to happen this way, it just does. You promised what I did after that night wasn’t going to hurt you. You smell hurt and angry.”

  “I know what I told you. I thought I just wanted one night and could keep it separate from what I feel about you, but I can’t. I don’t like what you did with Sono earlier today and that you may have already done it with Neptis. I see the way you and Sono are together and I think you’ve already made your choice. I don’t think you love me like you love him.”

  She was much shorter than he was, but she reached up and placed her hand on his bare chest. He watched as the glowing red flower he had seen on her chest appeared. He could feel warmth flowing through him again like when she made his anger go away, but he also felt love, the way he felt for her. He was confused and didn’t know what she was gifting him. When she removed her hand, a glowing hand print appeared on his chest until the flower on her chest disappeared. He was feeling things that he didn’t understand and he wasn’t sure where they were coming from. He could feel a fondness and a love filling him, but there was an unsureness behind it.

  “What did you do?” he asked.

  “I can connect us. You can feel what I feel and I can feel what you feel. You feel confused.”

  Was the fondness and love coming from her because that’s what she felt for him? He momentarily forgot what she had done with Sono to just enjoy the connection she gave him. She watched him like she was unsure of what he would do and then smiled when joy filled him at the thought she may love him. Could she feel that?

  He picked her up and kissed her, not caring who was watching. “If we are connected and I’m feeling what you feel, then I feel love from you. Do you love me? Will you choose me? Why Sono if you love me?”